Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Trump Bitchslaps Martha

Martha Stewart claimed her version of The Apprentice failed because there were two Apprentices on at the same time. She said when she agreed to do the show she was told Trump would stop, and her first episode would begin with her firing the Donald. Here is the letter he wrote to Martha about this. The ImClone shot was a low-blow.


Dear Martha:

It's about time you started taking responsibility for your failed version of The Apprentice. Your performance was terrible in that the show lacked mood, temperament and just about everything else a show needs for success. I knew it would fail as soon as I first saw it - and your low ratings bore me out.

Between your daughter, with her one word statements, your letter writing and, most importantly, your totally unconvincing demeanor, it never had a chance - much as your daytime show is not exactly setting records.

Despite this, I did nothing but positively promote you. Your only response to your failed show was that, "I thought that I was supposed to fire Donald Trump!" You knew this was not true - NBC would never fire me when The Apprentice was, for a good period of time, the #1 show on television and my recent finale, where I hired Randal, was the #2 show for the week, easily beating the competing finale of Amazing Race and others. Even Mark Burnett said, "Thank God that didn't happen," when asked about firing Donald Trump.

Essentially, you made this firing up just as you made up your sell order of ImClone. The only difference is - that was more obvious. Putting your show on the air was a mistake for everybody - especially NBC.

In any event, my great loyalty to you has gone totally unappreciated.

Sincerely
Donald J. Trump

P.S. Be careful or I will do a syndicated daytime show, perhaps called The Boardroom, and further destroy the meager ratings you already have!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Eh... He seems like a nice guy...

Ton said...

Did he actually write that P.S.? I love this guy more now than ever.

Anonymous said...

Paul, the Donald is going to sue you for Libel