Miss New Hampshire 2007

Something was lacking in this year's Miss New Hampshire pageant. For the first time in several years Pizza Parlor KeriAnn would not be competing. That really took a lot of the fun out of it for Pizza Parlor Derek, and therefore he did not name a Miss Derek's Room. Which means he never got to rename the award Miss Derek's Apartment, even though he finally moved out of his parent's house.

Last year's winner was Emily Ann Hughes, no relation to jhughes, thankfully for her.



Sarah Bixby looks a little too old for this pageant crap. She looks like she's in her mid-30s. And her talent is a clog dance. I can't be sure what that is, but it sounds noisy.



Miss Deerfield Fair, Justine Barker is hot. And not in the pristine pageant way, in the sort of slutty, drink a few beers kinda way. And unlike most of the contestants who want to teach kids how to read, and how to not be obese, or how to read food labels so they are not obese, Justine wants to be on Entertainment Tonight and she calls Mary Hart a "TV icon." She does like Rascall Flatts though? Who is Rascall Flatts? Can someone tell me? Why does every hot girl like him so much?



Allyson Welsh, graduated from Penn State (big deal), and lists dramatic monologue as her talent. I believe she performed this selection from "The Vagina Monologues."

"That’s why I began this piece. I was worried about vaginas. I was worried what we think about vaginas. And I was even more worried that we don’t think about them. I was worried about my own vagina. It needed a context, a community, a culture of other vaginas. There is so much darkness and secrecy surrounding them, like the Bermuda Triangle. Nobody ever reports back from there. In the first place, it’s not even easy to even find your vagina. Women go days, weeks, months, without looking at it. I interviewed a high-powered businesswoman, she told me she didn’t have the time. Looking at your vagina she said, is a full day’s work. You’ve got to get down there, on your back. In front of the mirror, full-length preferred. You’ve got to get in the perfect position, with the perfect light, which then becomes shadowed by the angle you’re at. You’re twisting your head up, arching your back, it’s exhausting. She's too busy. She didn’t have time. So, I decided to talk to women about their vaginas."



I like Jennifer Hatem, because her name reminds me of "He Hate Me." Her platform is "advocating for our elderly" which means she probably likes older dudes and has daddy issues. Awesome!



Rachel Barker went to Hofstra so she probably gets drunk and makes out with other chicks. Her favorite actress is Reese Witherspoon. I guarantee you ask 1000 pageant competitors who their favorite actress is and 900 say Reese Witherspoon and not a single one mentions Eva Longoria. It's not clear if Justine Barker and Rachel Barker are related.




I know they award ancillary prizes for "Miss Congeniality", "Best Talent", I'm not sure if they have one for "Biggest Rack," Caitlin McGlinchey would win.



Alicia Rossman sort of looks like Rachel from Real World: Austin. The most influential person in her life is Shania Twain because "she is a mother, daughter, wife, friend, entertainer, and much more." She's not your friend. And of course her favorite actress is...Reese Witherspoon.




My personal favorite is Erica Lehman. She doesn't have a profile so all I know is that she's hot is a sort of mysterious way. And her platform/charity has a cool, punny name, "Pencilling in a Better Future: Write Here, Write Now." I imagine they teach kids how to write.





So Erika Lehman is my choice. Who do you think should win (the pageant already happened)? I'll post the winner and some other Miss NH news in a few days.

You Make The Call

In 2001, then 19 year-old Victor Harris led Georgia police on a high speed chase through two counties. They reached speeds of over 100 mph, and passed 36 cars, some by crossing double yellow lines. At one point he pulled into a parking lot, but when the cops surrounded him he hit their cars and fled again.
The chase ended when the cops ran him off the road. As a result of the ensuing crash Harris is now a quadriplegic.
The Supreme Court ruled that Harris cannot sue the cops for his injuries because he initiated the chase.
The cops initially tried to pull him over for speeding.
Should the cops pay?
Should the cops be less aggressive in pursuing high speed chases with people who are only wanted for a minor traffic violation?
Is the risk (potential injury), worth the reward (a traffic ticket)?
Should the cops assume that anyone fleeing is wanted for crimes beyond just a traffic ticket?
Or should the jerk who flees the cops be responsible for whatever damage he creates?

I think if the cops want to pull you over, you should pull over. If the cops have to chase you, anything they do is your fault. But I think cops need to be more judicious in initiating chases. I think in a lot of these cases they could go to the guy's house at 6 am on Sunday morning impound the car and arrest him for fleeing a police officer.

As Seen on CNN

Danny Devito is trying to turn an embarrassing moment into a few bucks.
Devito appeared visibly intoxicated on ABC's "The View," and later blamed his drunken ramblings on about seven limoncellos he had during a rough night out with George Clooney.
The endorsement opportunities were obvious, so Devito and Harbrew Imports decided to get together to make danny devito premium limoncello.
Devito says his line will be "the best limoncello you ever tasted."

As Seen On CNN

A candlelight dinner, a bottle of wine and someone special...that may work for people.
But getting pandas to mate isn't quite so easy.
John Vause has the story of some unusual steps researchers in China are taking to put pandas in the mood:

NOTE: I strongly recommending clicking the above link and watching the story...the written words won't do it justice.

They're cute, playful, cuddly...but apparently not so passionate...so, researchers in China have found a way to get male pandas to put down their bamboo, get out of their trees and get in the mood

"We video tape pandas who mate successfully and play that that for pandas who don't know how to do it."

Yes, Panda Porn...the theory is simple...show pandas like Lu Lu, how it's done so he can make the most of the 3 days every year when females are ready to mate.

And its not just the visuals but also the sounds of panda lovin' that does the job.

Scientists here at China's Woolong Research center have found what's good on tape, is even better live...taking pandas who may be a little shy, to watch others who aren't.

Handlers also regularly swap panda partners...so each panda finds that some one special.

All of this has led to a baby panda boom here. 20 cubs like this cute little fella called Cie Doo were born here last year, more than ever before.

Jung Hemin, the park's director boasts his breeding program now has almost a hundred percent success rate.

But not everything has worked...they tried Viagra once - it proved just too much for your average bear.

"They stayed excited for way too long."

Even so, after teetering on the edge of extinction, the future for the giant panda is looking hopeful...and frisky.

The Mavericks Are Like Gloria

Because I think they got your number. Gloria! Glory, glory-uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

A lot of people are finding it hard to believe that the 67 win Dallas Mavericks are going to be eliminated by the 8th-seeded Golden State Warriors, but they are.
Golden State has owned Dallas over the past two years, going 9-2 against them in the regular season and playoffs.

The easy way to explain this would be to give all the credit to Don Nelson because he knows the Mavericks and is outcoaching Avery Johnson in this series. But they did go 3-1 against Dallas last year under Mike Montgomery.

I do think Nelson has figured out a way to stop Dirk who hasn't scored more than 23 points in any game this series.



You can also credit the Warriors fans who wearing wearing yellow "we believe" t-shirts have created a great playoff atmosphere. But they did win Game 1 in Dallas.



Maybe the best explanation for this surprising result is the resurgence of Baron Davis to good health and good spirits. He's played great in this series, scoring 33 each in Games 1 and 4. This reminds me of the epic battle he had with Tracy McGrady a few years back.



But in truth, the die for this series was cast many years ago, in a small Los Angeles private school. There Baron Davis met a kid named Cash Warren who would go on to have sex with Jessica Alba. And because Alba is ten times cooler than any other hot celebrity chick she and Cash were courtside for Game 4. Kate Hudson is also friends with Cash and Baron from high school and she too, was at the game, with Owen Wilson. Wilson is from the Dallas area but he's banging Kate Hudson so he probably didn't want to root too loudly and piss her off and get himself cut off.

This Freakin Guy

The amazing Robert Horry wrote another chapter to his "War and Peace"-esque book of postseason accomplishments.
With about 30 seconds left and San Antonio up 90-89, Horry spotted up in the right corner. Tony Parker drove the lane, dished to Horry, who made a three pointer, over the outstretched arm of Marcus Camby, to seal the game.

The Spurs now lead the Nuggets 3 games to 1, which means another first round exit for Melo, AI and the Freeds.

Michael Wins Again

Congratulations to Michael for following up his victory in tournament challenge with another impressive victory in Draft Forecast.
It was a difficult first round to predict with Brady Quinn throwing a monkey wrench into the works by falling from 3rd (where most people had him) to 22.
Michael nailed 6 of the first 8 picks dead on and that was enough for the victory.
I finished last, getting only one pick exactly right (Adrian Peterson).
The biggest surprise thoough was that the little blond kid figured out how to use a computer and actually finished second in our little group.
The overall winner, not coincidentally titled "never kissed a girl," got 12 of 15 picks right on the head. He's going to get a Hummer, definitely the first of his life.

The Emperor's New Room

After months of waiting, our sunroom remodeling project is finally complete. Almost. The contractor still has a few loose ends to tie up but the room is pretty much as it's going to look. And our furniture arrived today also, 4 - 6 weeks early which might have caused a problem, but we were able to fit it all in the living room while the work was being completed, so it actually worked out nicely.
It looks really nice in there and I'm looking forward to relaxing in there this summer with a beer, a book and big black lab.
But the room's new look may preclude Mrs. Poop from allowing us to play beer pong out there during this September's 3rd (or is it 4th, I don't think the wedding counts) annual Poopfest. But by that point she'll be 8 months and 3 weeks pregnant so she probably won't even let me have the damn party anyway.

Forget the Polar Ice Caps, The Roads Are Melting

A gasoline tanker crashed and burst into flames, literally melting a highway overpass in the Bay Area.
That's going to completely fuck shit up for this morning's commute and for the rest of the year before they can get this thing fixed.

Idol Arrested

Former American Idol finalist Jessica Sierra was arrested after she allegedly smashed a glass on some dude's head. Not just any glass, a heavy cafe glass.
Things got worse when the police booked her and found some cocaine on her.
Then things got even worse when she took this mugshot.

The NFL Draft is Poop

The Raiders fucked up, of course. They should have taken Calvin Johnson. The only reason not to was because they had Randy Moss. And then they traded Moss. It's always risky to plop a rookie quarterback onto a horrible team with no offensive line and no weapons. It's a recipe for failure. The trade of Moss wasn't so bad, they got nothing in terms of talent back but got rid of a big salary and a big headache.

I don't know why the Patriots were so desperate to fuck up their team chemistry with Moss after they had already added Donte Stallworth and Wes Welker through free agency. And they also drafted some dickhead from the U. Seems like they are getting away from what made them so successful.

The Browns had a great draft, getting the QB they wanted at 3, at 22. Not sure if they knew Quinn would fall that far but I doubt it was just plain luck. So many teams already have QBs entrenched or just drafted, so they obviously thought the number of potential suitors for Quinn was very limited. This is the Aaron Rodgers postulate. A QB expected to go at the top, slides past one team that was supposed to take him, then sinks like a stone.

I'm pleased with the Redskins choice of LaRon Landry. Teamed with Sean Taylor that should be an awesome duo of safeties. The Redskins biggest problem last year was the fact that they forced so few turnovers (bottom ten all-time, I think). You just can't win games when you are losing the battle of turnovers every week. Now, a lot of turnovers are luck (a tipped ball, a bouncing fumble) but if you can make your own luck, a good way to do it is with two hard hitting safeties.

Not sure what the Dolphins were doing with Ted Ginn at #9. But I always say this in the post-mortem of the draft. Where you take a guy is not important. If Ted Ginn is a really good player for them will people say "yes, but, they should have moved down and still got Ginn at 15 while adding a third rounder." No, all you need to do is pick a good player. If the Patriots had picked Tom Brady in the first round would it be a bad pick because they could have had him in the sixth? No, performance is the only tool for evaluation from this point on.

Nothing Beats an Old Jew

With their last pick in the Israeli baseball league draft, the Modi'in Miracle selects Sandy Koufax.
Koufax is 71 years old and retired more than 40 years ago. Miracle manager and former Mets World Series winner, Art Shamsky, did it as a tribute to Koufax.

Former Mets Employee Deals Steroids

"A former employee of the New York Mets has pleaded guilty to distributing performance-enhancing drugs to dozens of major league players between 1995 and 2005, and is cooperating with baseball's steroids investigation.

Kirk Radomski, 37, admitted providing anabolic steroids, human growth hormone, Clenbuterol, amphetamines and other drugs to "dozens of current and former Major League Baseball players, and associates, on teams throughout Major League Baseball."

Radomski, a former Mets batboy who also worked as an equipment manager and clubhouse assistant while with the team from 1985-95, pleaded guilty to one count of distribution of a controlled substance -- anabolic steroids -- and one count of money laundering.

Radomski, who faces up to 25 years in prison and $500,000 in fines, was considered by authorities to be the chief supplier of drugs for baseball players after the feds shut down BALCO in 2003.

The affadavit contained blacked-out information, including what appeared to be players' names.

Sports Illustrated, quoting from the warrant, reported "numerous significant deposits from current and former [Major League Baseball] players and some affiliated individuals" were made to Radomski. He received more than $23,000, pulled from more than 20 different payments between 2003-05 that are alleged to have been made in conjunction with steroids purchases.

Howard Johnson, a Mets infielder in the 1980s and currently the team's first-base coach, told The Associated Press he remembered Radomski.

"He was a clubhouse kid, one of several, one of the kids that were there," Johnson said before the Mets played at Washington on Friday night.

Former Mets pitcher Ron Darling, now a team broadcaster, said he didn't remember Radomski.

"We were surprised and disappointed to learn of the guilty plea today," the Mets said in a statement. "The conduct in question is diametrically opposed to the values and standards of the Mets organization and our owners.

"We are and always have been adamantly opposed to the use of performance-enhancing drugs and continue to support Major League Baseball's efforts to eradicate any such use in our game," the team said."


This guy supposedly started dealing after he left the Mets. But he did use his clubhouse contacts. He also may have seen steroid use during his tenure with the team.

They're Good For His Heart

Hugh Grant got arrested in England for throwing a tupperware container of baked beans at a paparazzo.

1978 World Series of Poker

Part I:


Part II:


Part III:


Aired on CBS, Brent Musburger joins Jimmy The Greek. 42 entrants this year. Some guy in a top hat went all in with A-Q against pocket jacks. When a Queen came on the flop he lifted his hat off his head. He’s sort of dressed like the monopoly man. Thirty years ago and you still heard interviews about the young aggressive players coming up and chasing out the old guys. Johnny Moss announced his retirement after losing three straight hands with the ace-high flush, a wheel straight and pocket kings. Jimmy The Greek just mentioned a bet he made with Crandall Addington, from the 1973 World Series. They still show player’s wives on the rail. I think Shirley Baldwin might be hot, but the footage is grainy. The head’s up part, just the head’s up match between Bobby Baldwin and Crandall Addington lasted about four hours. Even with a straight Baldwin wouldn’t push all in. He would have won too because the river card that gave him the straight gave Addington trip 3s. Baldwin won with queens over 9s.

Syracuse Has a Women's Basketball Team?

Syracuse University forward Fantasia Goodwin gave birth last week.
That's two months after the end of the basketball season.
A season in which she played 28 games.
All of them except for the last one.
Because she finally told the coaching staff she was pregnant before the final game.
7 months pregnant.
How did people not notice?

Forbidden Kiss

An arrest warrant is out for Richard Gere in India for this kiss on Bollywood sexpot Shilpa Shetty. India's strict laws forbid kissing in public. And this wasn't a kiss, more like a sexual assault. Look how touchy he is with her, and how uncomfortable she gets.









Can't blame a guy for trying.

1973 World Series of Poker

I think we've all seen the World Series of Poker from 2003 - 2006 a million times. Thanks to youtube a lot of old Main Events are also available. I'm going to watch most of them (I've seen the mid-90s ones on ESPN Classic) and I encourage you do to do the same. I'll embed the clips then post my analysis at the end.

Part I:


Part II:


Part III:


Part IV:


Part V:



Hosted by Jimmy “The Greek.” Still $10,000 buy-in, but only 13 players. Largest field ever. Jimmy The Greek refers to it as an “extra-large” field. Amarillo Slim and Puggy Pearson are both smoking at the table. The Greek said it was three hours before the first meaningful encounter (Slim caught Jack Strauss on a bluff). The first knockout took about five hours. It was an amateur, the only one in the field. They actually made book on the event and he was listed as a 50 to 1 underdog. Defending champ Amarillo Slim got knocked out by runner-runner flush cards. Some things never change. Doyle went out 10th. He used to be a high school principal and has a master’s degree in education. The young prospect in the field was 33 years old, ancient by today’s standards. This had to have been the first feature ever done on chip tricks. The whole thing was shot more as a documentary than a card tournament. We know they didn’t have pocket cams but they didn’t even have a good overhead cam to show the board. Puggy Pearson beat Johnny Moss when his ace held up against Moss’ up and down straight draw.

Big Brother is Watching

Thanks to SCZA, I signed up for sitemeter, which gives me extensive information about traffic on this site.

I see where people are logging in from and when. It tells me how long people spend at the site, and what pages they click on.

Most important I see how people get here. Less than half of you type the address or use a bookmark. But those are my regular Poop readers. A lot of hits come from referrals, mostly from Google image searches. For instance if you google Michelle Damon or Elsa Benitez the first picture that comes up on the main google search page is from my blog. Those two sexy women drove a lot of traffic to the site.

I think most websites get this information but it only means something to me because I know where most of you live and work. TallSkott and Greco logged on from their work servers. I saw only one visit from Denver, Colorado yesterday so I wonder if one of the Freeds was too busy, or if the Poop is something they share together. Step On Me was a little distressed that I knew she logged on at 7:45, stayed on for 8 minutes and clicked on a picture of a very cute little girl.

But I promise the novelty of having this info at my fingertips will wear off very quickly.

Plus I have to find out who my readers in India, China, Kuwait, Israel, Australia, Belgium and Italy are. I got hits from all those countries yesterday.

Draft Gurus Unite!

I have created a group (called Paul's Poop, no password required) for ESPN.com's NFL Draft forecast.

The game is simple. Pick the first 15 guys in the correct order (regardless of team), and win a nice prize.
The grand prize is a Hummer. Not a hummer, PPD, capital H.

C'Mon Tim, You Should Know This

This reminds me of the time when none of us remembered that Jerome Bettis had asthma during a game of Taboo. Juice was furious and scolded us afterwards. I bet Russert got much worse from Brian Williams.

A Little Like a Bar Mitzvah Down Here

Papa Poop, Master Bates and I all love Ian Eagle, or as we call him Mr. EE-ahg-lay. But this video of him during a commercial of the Wizards-Cavs game, when he clearly didn't expect to be on camera, is quite amusing. Althought maybe Ian needs to loosen up a little. And Dr. Jack needs to wake up.

The Painted Sock?

Former Mets broadcaster, Gary Thorne, who currently works for the Orioles, said on air that Curt Schilling's famous bloody sock from the 2004 postseason was a PR stunt. And the redness on the sock was paint, not blood.

Gary Thorne: "It was painted. Doug Mirabelli confessed up to it after. It was all for PR."

Doug Mirabelli: "I never said that. I know it was blood. Everybody knows it was blood."

The Hall of Fame has the sock from the World Series says Schilling delivered it himself and they think it's real because the stain is now brown, as blood stains normally change color over time.

The New Adventures of Old Mike/New Christine

LA Times Columnist makes a stunning announcement in today's column.

He starts it like this:

"During my 23 years with The Times' sports department, I have held a wide variety of roles and titles. Tennis writer. Angels beat reporter. Olympics writer. Essayist. Sports media critic. NFL columnist. Recent keeper of the Morning Briefing flame.

Today I leave for a few weeks' vacation, and when I return, I will come back in yet another incarnation.

As Christine."

Very interesting. Good thing he doesn't have to interview Tim Hardaway. I really don't know much about transsexuals but I hope this change makes Mike, I mean Christine, a happier person.

Who the Fuck Drives a Maserati?

Billy asked me that very question last week.
Now I have his answer: every thug's dream wife, Eve aka e-v-e.
She crashed her gold Maserati and then got arrested for DUI.

I Guess He Doesn't Want Gay Men Looking At Him

from NY Post's Page6:

YOU can't be too careful, especially when you're high-profile anchorman Anderson Cooper. Cyber gossip Janet Charlton reports the white-haired CNN star regularly works out at the Equinox gym in the Time Warner Center, where he attracts a lot of attention from hard bodies of both genders. "So he takes precautions," Charlton reports. "Everyone knows camera phones are easy to smuggle anywhere, so sensible Anderson reportedly showers in his underwear. Boxer briefs, to be exact."

Pittsburgh: A Great Place to Live, But I Wouldn't Want to Live There

Pittsburgh was ranked the nation's "most livable city" by Rand McNally.
379 metropolitan areas were ranked in 9 categories and the lowest score won.
Basically Pittsburgh was average in every category which was good enough.
New York could never win because it's so unaffordable.

The President Dances Like David Green

This was at a Malaria Awareness Day event.

I Was Mad When My Dad Spanked Me

This guy makes Alec Baldwin look like Ward Cleaver.
Byron Perkins convinced a judge, by crying, to let him out of jail so he could donate his kidney to his ailing son, Destin.
Before the last test, he took off with his girlfriend. Last night, after more than a year they caught this son of a bitch in Mexico.
I'd like all Poopheads to call their dads today and thank them for not being this guy.

A New Planet?

European astronomers have found a planet that looks similar to Earth.
They are still looking for a planet that looks like Uranus.

Many of you might suggest that I am stealing the Uranus joke gimmick from PTI's Tony Kornheiser. But that's not so. I have been making Uranus jokes ever since one night, probably more than 20 years ago, when trying to avoid going to sleep, Master Bates said to me "Hey Paul, you think anyone will ever land on Uranus?"

Growing Old

Be wary of birthdays that end in 9 because one beginning with a new number is right around the corner.
This year I turn 29, and a few months after that I’ll become a daddy.
I’ve already started to think like a dad a little bit.
I see a guy in my neighborhood walking his dog with one hand and holding onto his little girl with the other, as she is learning to roller skate.
I talked to a friend the other day about the beauty of baseball. He mentions that baseball is a game best enjoyed by fathers and sons. The first thought that comes to mind is not that of my own father, even though he’s part of the reason why I love baseball so much. The ball rolling through Buckner’s legs is a much bigger part, but thanks anyway dad. The first thought that comes to my mind is of someday taking my own son to Shea Stadium, I mean CitiField.
Buying him a hot dog, teaching him how to score; explaining the subtleties like the difference between a stolen base and a defensive indifference; or a wild pitch versus a passed ball.
Maybe I’ll have a little girl. And I’ll have to comb her hair. Buy her pink clothes. I hope Mrs. Poop can deal with the puberty related issues like training bras and menstruation.
I can’t wait to teach my kid to love my dog. To refer to a lick on the face as a kiss. To watch with wonder as our super dog flies through his hoop. To refer to him as “my big brother Diesel.” I wonder if “woof” will be the baby’s first word.
When I walk around the neighborhood I check out houses and think to myself “that would be a nice yard for kids to play in.”
But sometimes I worry. What if my kid were in that classroom in Virginia Tech. You spend your whole life saving for college and some dickwad ends your kid’s dreams and his life.
And I don’t have to worry about that for at least another 14 years. Even if our child inherits my precocious intelligence I doubt Mrs. Poop will let him/her go to college before age 14. Maybe we’ll all be living in bulletproof bubbles by then. Or colleges we be abolished because of the impending threat and everyone will have class on the internet.
You know you’re in love when someone else’s happiness is more important than your own. When not only do you sit through a concert by a children’s singer, but you enjoy watching the kids dance and jump around.
And someday I’ll be watching with pride as it’s my kid buzzing like a bumblebee at the Laurie Berkner concert.
Or my kid will be going to the first day of school.
Or striking out with two men on in the bottom of the 6th in Little League, or the Pony Tail league.
And going off to college.
And getting married.
And eventually my kid will be having kids.
I’ll be a grandfather.
I’m growing old.

Dwyane Wade's House

If you liked LeBron's, Carmelo's and Steve Alford's, you are going to love Dwyane Wade's house. He built the Miami area house only two years ago and he's already selling it, completely with memorabilia, for the bargain price of only $8.9 million.

The aerial view



Through the front gates



The foyer



The master bedroom



The kid's room



The kid's bathroom



A jungle gym behind the crib, so the kids can play, enjoy youth



Let's go swimming, let's go swimming



the rest of the backyard



The D-Wade memorabilia comes with the house

Idol Chatter

For a show that featured inspiring songs, this episode was pretty uninspiring.

Chris Richardson sang a song he didn't even understand. He thought "Change the World" was about someone changing the world to feed the hungry or cure disease, when it's actually about a dude who wants to bang some chick who won't give him the time of day.

Melinda sang a song no one ever heard of. But she did it really well. I must say they are really making her and LaKisha look better each week.

Blake sang "Imagine" and it was completely boring.

Phil Stacey sucked.

And Jordin brought down the house and I think she may have passed Blake as my front runner to win.

I think we're getting down to crunch time starting next week, but this wee, quite obviously, Phil Stacey is going home. Expect Chris and Melinda in the bottom 3.

Royals Not Popping Bottles

Minnesota Twins outfielder recently sent four bottles of Dom Perignon to the Kansas City Royals to thank them for beating the Detroit Tigers last year which allowed the Twins to win the division.
A blog called "The Cheater's Guide to Baseball," discovered this and reported that this gift is actually a violation of MLB rules.

Rule 21-b states "Any player or person connected with a Club who shall offer or give any gift or reward to a player or person connected with another Club for services rendered ... in defeating or attempting to defeat a competing Club ... shall be declared ineligible for not less than three years."

Normally I like to play Devil's Advocate but I really can't see the logic behind this rule. Unless for example the Yankees had a standing policy to give $10,000 to a pitcher on another team who beat the Red Sox. But in this circumstance, Hunter's actions were innocent.

The Royals had not popped the bubbly yet so they will return the bottles to avoid the infraction. Hunter says he was unaware of the rule, but ignorance is not a plea. Hopefully, baseball will not act, not even with a small fine but I know some douchebag sticklers will probably call for Hunter to be subject to a three year ban.

Happy Endy

Endy Chavez saves the day. Read the Happy Recap.

Song of the Week

"It was a Good Day" - Ice Cube

A Good Day

Monday April 23rd was a good day.
I still had the memories of Sunday April 22nd, so that was nice.
After work I did some yard work, mowed the lawn. We are trying to repair some dead spots (dog urine) so I had to rake the loose soil. Mrs. Poop was standing over me watching.
I sang slave songs. "Massah got me working!." "Jimmy crack corn and I don't care."
Then I went to bed.
After a short rest I woke up to birds chirping and kids playing.
For dinner, I fired up the grill and grilled two steaks to perfection. Mine had those nice dark grill lines. Mrs. Poop fed half of hers to the dog.
After dinner I took Diesel for a walk and listened to the Met game.
It was a perfect cool night, for a walk and for a baseball game.
Jose Valentin homered and the Mets won easily.
I sold three Jose Reyes cards for $510.
And I didn't even have to use my AK.
Damn right it was a good day.

Psychopathic Murders Need Love Too

Virginia Tech madman Cho Seung-Hui hired an escort a month before he went on his murderous rampage - and she described him as a timid dork who "creeped" her out by the time their one-hour session was over.

Chastity Frye said paid her to meet him at a motel in Valley View, about two hours' drive from Virginia Tech's campus.

"I danced for a little while and I thought we were done because he got up and went to the restroom and began washing."

The escort said she asked Cho if she could leave, but he wanted his money's worth.

"He's like, 'I paid for the full hour, you've only been here for 15 minutes,' and then he came back in the room," she said.

"And I started dancing and that's when he, you know, touched me and tried to get on me, and that's when I pushed him away."

But Frye, who was contacted by authorities after the FBI traced her through Cho's credit card receipts, said she wasn't afraid because he immediately backed off.

She said she thought she recognized Cho in the news last week, but it wasn't until the FBI reached out to her that she knew for certain she'd given a lap dance to a mass murderer.

She said the FBI asked her to describe Cho in three words.

" 'Dorky,' was one of them, maybe 'timid' and 'pushy' - there, at the end, he was a little pushy," she said.

Now she wishes she'd done more to reach out to Cho.

"Sometimes I wonder if I could have said something or done something differently," she said.

"But I wasn't thinking about that at the time. I was thinking, he was creeping me out. I was thinking about getting out of there."

Darren Baker Redux

Four year-old kid is standing on the sidelines at Colorado State's spring game. Quarterback throws a nice fade to the wide receiver who makes the catch and crushes the poor little kid. Despite a lot of blood Caden Thomas is going to be ok. He had about 30 stitches but no head injuries. Clearly Caden is to blame, watch him on the slo mo replay, his head is down. You have to be alert at all times, keep your head on a swivel.



One of Pizza Parlor Derek's favorite coaches, Sonny Lubick aka Mr. Thursday Night, sent some footballs to the kid in the hospital.

That's the good news. The bad news is he's going to have a small scar in the shape of a football on his forehead and it's going to hurt everytime he watches a CSU game.

Tonight Show Headlines

Believe it or not one of my favorite things is that silly headlines segment of really stupid stories from newspapers that Jay Leno does on Mondays. Normally I steal freely but this time I'll credit Leno for these gems.


Only in Eerie, Pa



The future of energy: wind power!



What exactly are these women selling here?



And the cops were stumbling around with their eyes closed



Small error



read this out loud



Enrollment in the bird watchers club immediately tripled

Dave Halberstam Dies

One of my favorite sports writers, Dave Halberstam was killed in a car accident in California. Details of the accident are not clear yet. Halberstam was 73.

He was on his way to interview Y.A. Tittle for an upcoming book on the 1958 NFL Championship game. The game that really launched the sport.

I've read three of his books, so I suppose that makes him one of my favorite authors. I've read many more works by Dr. Seuss and J.K. Rowling but Halberstam is up there.

"Summer of '49" was an interesting book that traced the Red Sox - Yankees rivalry to its early stages.

"October 1964" was a great book. This one I would recommend. Quite obviously it's about the 1964 World Series between the Cardinals and the Yankees. I have always called the 1964 Cardinals the most influential team in baseball history. Then I read this book and - surprise! - I was right.

"Teammates" is the story of Johnny Pesky and Dom DiMaggio taking one last trip to visit their dying buddy, Ted Williams. Two things struck me from this book. First of all, Ted Williams was a miserable sonovabitch. The precursor to today's spoiled me-first athletes. Second, Dom DiMaggio was the brother of Joe DiMaggio and the best friend of Ted Williams and he was happier than both of them. They were better at baseball but he was better at everything else. He became very rich thanks to some shrewd business deals, if I recall, and stayed married to the same woman his whole life.

I have never read "The Breaks of the Game" but I've heard good things about it and maybe I'll give it a whirl.

I also want to read Halberstam's bio of Bill Belichick called "The Education of a Coach."

Sad to see such a great writer pass, especially under those circumstances.

Yikes

Believe it or not Jessica Dube has actually recovered and they are skating again. She has a nasty four inch gash from the middle of her left cheek to the bridge of her nose, but I would have thought she'd have looked like one of the Carver's victims.

Some People Will Never Learn

Three female officers filed a federal complaint against the New York Police Department on Monday, claiming their sergeant and a colleague insulted them.
During daily roll call Sgt. Carlos Mateo allegedly addressed officers Trennet Jackson, Maria Gomez and Karen Nelson by saying "'Hos, stand up!"
When the officers refused to stand up, another officer, Ralph Montinez, allegedly said, "No sergeant, not just 'hos; nappy-headed 'hos."
"We felt violated, hurt and humiliated," said Jackson.