Sunday, July 30, 2006

Saturday Night

Saturday night a large celebration was had to honor the birthdays of Justin (aka G-Span aka Juice) and Scott (aka TallSkott aka FatScat).

The evening started at Matt's apartment. A very nice apartment, but a complete metrosexual bachelor pad. In addition the big screen TV and the brand new GE appliances (like a stove he probably never cooks on) Matt had like 20 bottles of cologne (spaced out evenly) and brass collar stays.

The evening started with Mike and Matt and a couple others doing shots of Patron (no, it was tequila). Mike stopped himself when he said "I'm halfway to Paul's wedding."

shots! shots! shots!

I groaned audibly when we approached the bar, Slate, but Matt's connections helped us bypass the huge crowd and we headed right to our own table in the back of the VIP. Cuz that's how we roll (two fist taps on the heart and a point to the heaven's).

Then the waitstaff brought over 4 carafes (tonic, OJ, cranberry and red bull) as well as a bottle of Grey Goose and one of Patron. I think all of that was free, as well as some drink tickets, once again, thanks to Matt. I actually did a Patron shot and enjoyed it very much. Not even in the same league as cheap ass tequilas people used to pound as teenagers.

the Giants

matt is wasted

mean mugging for the camera

In all, we had a huge crew, our core group, plus some of Dana's friends, Matt's sister and her friend (who I think lost her pants) and then things got interesting when a few girls Juice and Matt knew showed up. One girl was about 8 feet tall in a slinky red dress. She looked like Darryl Hannah in "Attack of the 50 foot Woman."

When she walked in the DJ started playing her theme song "She's a brick...house." I couldn't get verification as to whether Juice fucked her or not but I feel we may be hearing from him after he sees this picture.

that's one big bitch




All photo credits go to Dana, except for Darryl Hannah. Still awaiting pictures from Emily, if and when I receive those I will post the best ones.

Saturday, July 29, 2006

What Did Mel Gibson Say?

The arrest report for Mel Gibson's rant after being arrested is available online.

Here are some excerpts:
Gibson repeatedly said, "My life is f****d."
The officer agreed not to cuff Gibson until they walked over to the passenger door of the cop car and the officer opened it. The report says Gibson then said, "I'm not going to get in your car," and bolted to his car. The deputy quickly subdued Gibson, cuffed him and put him inside the patrol car.
Once inside the car, a source directly connected with the case says Gibson began banging himself against the seat. The report says Gibson told the deputy, "You mother f****r. I'm going to f*** you." The report also says "Gibson almost continually [sic] threatened me saying he 'owns Malibu' and will spend all of his money to 'get even' with me."
The report says Gibson then launched into a barrage of anti-Semitic statements: "F*****g Jews... The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world." Gibson then asked the deputy, "Are you a Jew?"
The deputy became alarmed as Gibson's tirade escalated, and called ahead for a sergeant to meet them when they arrived at the station. When they arrived, a sergeant began videotaping Gibson, who noticed the camera and then said, "What the f*** do you think you're doing?"
A law enforcement source says Gibson then noticed another female sergeant and yelled, "What do you think you're looking at, sugar tits?"

Gibson Statement

“After drinking alcohol on Thursday night, I did a number of things that were very wrong and for which I am ashamed. I drove a car when I should not have, and was stopped by the LA County Sheriffs. The arresting officer was just doing his job and I feel fortunate that I was apprehended before I caused injury to any other person. I acted like a person completely out of control when I was arrested, and said things that I do not believe to be true and which are despicable. I am deeply ashamed of everything I said, and I apologize to anyone who I have offended. Also, I take this opportunity to apologize to the deputies involved for my belligerent behavior. They have always been there for me in my community and indeed probably saved me from myself. I disgraced myself and my family with my behavior and for that I am truly sorry. I have battled with the disease of alcoholism for all of my adult life and profoundly regret my horrific relapse. I apologize for any behavior unbecoming of me in my inebriated state and have already taken necessary steps to ensure my return to health.”

I must say, I don't like the guy but I admire the straight forward nature of his statement. It's nice to see someone take responsibility for their actions for a chance.

When Animals Attack

Yesterday while walking the park, about 100 feet or so from our front door, an angry boxer starting barking at Diesel. Diesel barked back but I was able to distract him. As we were walking past, the boxer slipped out of her collar and ran towards Diesel. She nipped at him a couple times, but I didn’t want to panic and start running because I thought that would only make it worse. I tried to keep walking at my pace and get the boxer away from him. The boxer’s owner was yelling frantically the whole time. “Fuckin Dog. I’m done. I’ve had it with this dog.” So I just keep walking and the boxer (Flash) finally calms down and her and Diesel begin sniffing each other as dogs do. So I get to my house, I let Diesel in and tell Kate that Diesel just got attacked. I go back outside and try to leash Flash and bring her back to her owner. Kate is watching me through the window as I unsuccessfully try to corral this beast. I couldn’t get her so I just started walking slowly back to where we first met. Flash followed me with no problems and her owner was there crying, saying “you are such a sweet man.” Then Kate came out with our other leash, thinking it might have been easier to slip over Flash's big boxer head. Flash’s owner said “you touched my heart.” So I tried to explain a few Dog Whisperer techniques to her. She said Flash is a great dog except when she’s on her leash and other dogs are around. I hope Diesel is not traumatized by this incident and maybe I tried too hard to remain calm.

Friday, July 28, 2006

Jesus Can't Get You Out of This One

Oscar-winning actor/director Mel Gibson was arrested in the early hours of this morning, and has now been charged with driving under the influence.

Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Office confirms that Gibson, 50, was pulled over while driving on the Pacific Coast Highway. Spokesman Steve Whitmore tells Showbiz Tonight officers on patrol reported Gibson was driving at an “excessively fast speed” and was pulled over for suspicion of DUI.

He was charged with a misdemeanor and posted $5,000 (five thousand) bond.

Will have mugshot when available if it's funny.

The Idols Meet the Real American Idol

Thursday, July 27, 2006

What to Do In Staten Island Tonight

Tonight is Chien-Ming Wang bobblehead doll night at Richmond County Bank Ballpark. Wang began his career with the Staten Island Yankees in 2000 and later returned in 2002 after recovering from an injury plagued year in 2001.

The Staten Island Yankees will be immortalizing him by retiring his number, 41. Before tonight's game against Batavia there will be a ceremony honoring Wang.

The first 2000 fans to enter the ballpark will receive a special Chien-Ming Wang Bobble Head that features life-like hair.

If I remember correctly TON was involved in a big SI Yankees project when he worked at SILive, which I believe coincided with Wang's time on Staten Island.

Poor Tony LaRussa

Tony & Res
St. Louis Cardinals manager Tony LaRussa looks like his dog just died. Res, who inspired a line of stuffed animals sold in the St. Louis area, died recently and the Cardinals' manager said he has been hesitant to talk about the death for about a week.
"He was the greatest dog who ever lived," La Russa said. "I would have liked to have been there to say goodbye."
Res was a 14-year-old black Labrador terrier mix. He gained his nickname because he strolled off a reservation in Arizona and into the Oakland A's clubhouse. La Russa adopted him and the dog, in many ways, came to symbolize the goal of La Russa's Animal Rescue Foundation. The stuffed animals raised funds for ARF. A new bronze statue of Res - with a baseball clenched in his teeth - sits on La Russa's desk at Busch Stadium.

More Monkeys

A monkey message I sent to Andy Serwer made it into the Loose Change section at the bottom of his StreetLife column.

The Next Lance

Floyd Landis -- had unusually high testosterone levels in an official anti-doping test during the race, the Phonak cycling team announced Thursday.
The team added Landis will not race again until questions about the test are resolved.
In a written statement, Phonak said, "The Phonak Cycling Team was notified yesterday by the UCI of an unusual level of testosteron/epitestosteron ratio in the test made on Floyd Landis after stage 17 of the Tour de France.
"The team management and the rider were both totally surprised of this physiological result.
"The rider will ask in the upcoming days for the counter analysis to prove either that this result is coming from a natural process or that this is resulting from a mistake in the confirmation.
"In application of the Pro Tour Ethical Code, the rider will not race anymore until this problem is totally clear.
"If the result of the B sample analysis confirms the result of the A sample the rider will be dismissed and will then pass the corresponding endocrinological examinations.


Some people are saying this is just the French trying to take another U.S. rider down a peg. But I think that in a sport that is overrun with doping, the guys that win are never guilty of it? A little hard to believe.

Sal's Pals are Furious

I'm furious too. A former Paul's Poop favorite, Sal Fasano, has been traded to the evil New York Yankees. It does seem fitting however because Clue Haywood was on the Yankees and his evil demeanor fit in well on the most evil organization in pro sports.
In keeping with the Yankees draconian code, Fasano shaved back his mustache and cut his hair before joining the team.
"You don't know how hard that was," he said. "The jury's still out on the (remaining) mustache."

The Right Place

Paul's Poop favorite, Kevin Pittsnogle signed a two-year deal with the Boston Celtics.
Pittsnogle, a 6-foot-11 center who is West Virginia's career 3-point leader, was passed over in June's NBA draft.
He played for the Miami Heat in a summer league, and Gansey signed a two-year deal with the Heat.
"Clearly, Kevin's strength is extending defenses with his range. He's big enough and he's got a quick trigger," agent Dan Tobin said. "He's a unique player, somewhat of a specialist at this point. We're trying to expand other areas of his game and I think that's what's going to help him make the transition."
Pittsnogle was reportedly slow and out of shape for the pre-draft period. He also isn't as strong as big men need to be.
I think he'll be a good fit on the Celtics where he will join a storied group of slow white guys, Larry Bird, Kevin McHale & Brian Scalabrine.

Kiss Cam

One of my favorite stadium features is the Kiss Cam.
The other night in Texas, they put the camera on Alex Rodriguez in the Yankees dugout during the Kiss Cam. He grabbed Andy Phillips and planted one on the top of his head.
Very funny. Nice to see A-Rod showing some personality and not contemplating and overanalyzing everything he does.
Also, nice to see that they did the Kiss Cam without finding a felon on parole.

Co-Workers Gotta Hug

After being accused of sexual harassment and fired by ESPN, former "Baseball Tonight" analyst Harold Reynolds said yesterday he doesn't think he did anything wrong and is still hoping to regain his job.
"This was a total misunderstanding," Reynolds told The Post. "My goal is to sit down and get back. To be honest with you, I gave a woman a hug and I felt like it was misinterpreted."
Reynolds declined to give any more details. The woman who accused Reynolds of the sexual harassment is an ESPN co-worker, according to sources.
Still, Reynolds is hopeful ESPN executives will change their minds. Besides being with the network for 11 years, Reynolds had just signed a new six-year contract to remain in Bristol and he recently got married.
Reynolds limited his comments, because he didn't want to go into too many details for fear of saying something that could hurt his chances of reversing ESPN's decision.
ESPN has been vigilant about sexual harassment because it reportedly has been a problem in Bristol for years. In 2000, the book "ESPN: The Uncensored History" reported rampant cases of harassment of women. Most prominently mentioned was Mike Tirico, who was even suspended at one point.

(I read that book. Tirico is a dog. At one point he apparently said to a co-worker, "why don't we get out of here and screw."

Tirico, though, never was fired and now is one of the main faces of the network. This fall, he will be ESPN's new voice for "Monday Night Football." Since the book's release, ESPN has denied its validity.

ESPN is known for giving its top on-air employees warnings. There are many cases where ESPN executives have chosen to provide on-air personnel with second chances.

Last NFL season, Michael Irvin was charged with a misdemeanor possession of drug paraphernalia. Despite Irvin's past problems, he was only suspended for a weekend and that was mostly because he did not immediately report the incident to ESPN executives.

Earlier this baseball season, Rick Sutcliffe conducted a rambling on-air interview while intoxicated. Sutcliffe was only suspended for one game.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Big Shock

Lance Bass is Gay
"I knew that I was in this popular band and I had four other guys' careers in my hand, and I knew that if I ever acted on it or even said (that I was gay), it would overpower everything," says Bass, referring to bandmates Joey Fatone, Chris Kirkpatrick, JC Chasez and Justin Timberlake.
"I didn’t know: Could that be the end of ’N Sync? So I had that weight on me of like, ‘Wow, if I ever let anyone know, it's bad.' So I just never did," he says speaking about his sexual orientation for the first time with PEOPLE.
Now, after years of keeping his personal life private, the Mississippi-bred, Southern Baptist-reared Bass, 27, is publicly revealing what he first shared with his friends, then his shocked family.
"He took years to really think about how he was going to tell everyone," says his close buddy Fatone, 29, who was the first 'N Sync bandmate to find out Bass is gay. "I back him up 100 percent." Adds Bass’s longtime pal, actress Christina Applegate: "I've always accepted him as who he is. It's about his own serenity at this point."
Bass is in a "very stable" relationship with model-actor-Amazing Race winner Reichen Lehmkuhl, 32, and is developing an Odd Couple-inspired sitcom pilot with Fatone in which his character will be gay.
"The thing is, I’m not ashamed – that’s the one thing I want to say," he explains of his decision to come out. "I don't think it's wrong, I'm not devastated going through this. I'm more liberated and happy than I’ve been my whole life. I'm just happy."
As for why he's talking about this now Bass says, "The main reason I wanted to speak my mind was that (the rumors) really were starting to affect my daily life. Now it feels like it's on my terms. I'm at peace with my family, my friends, myself and God so there's really nothing else that I worry about."

GayT looks much gayer here

Whiny Little Homo for $1000, Alex

'Jeopardy!' Champ Ken Jennings Blasts Show
NEW YORK (July 25) - "Jeopardy!" ace Ken Jennings, who won $2.5 million during his 74-game winning streak, has a few unkind words to say about the show - and dapper host Alex Trebek.
"I know, I know, the old folks love him," Jennings writes in a recent posting, titled "Dear Jeopardy!" on his Web site.
"Nobody knows he died in that fiery truck crash a few years back and was immediately replaced with the Trebektron 4000 (I see your engineers still can't get the mustache right, by the way)."
Jennings also takes aim at the show's "effete, left-coast" categories and "same-old" format.
"You're like the Dorian Gray of syndication," he says. "You seem to think `change' means replacing a blue polyethylene backdrop with a slightly different shade of blue polyethylene backdrop every presidential election or so."
A call by The Associated Press to "Jeopardy!" spokesman Jeff Ritter was not immediately returned Tuesday.
Jennings, a software engineer from Salt Lake City, snagged 74 wins on "Jeopardy!" in 2004 before he was beaten by challenger Nancy Zerg.
Trebek, 66, has hosted the show since 1984. In a "correction" posted Monday on his Web site, Jennings offers an apology of sorts.
"We regret the insinuation that Mr. Alex Trebek is a robot, and has been since 2004. Mr. Trebek's robotic frame does still contain some organic parts, many harvested from patriotic Canadian schoolchildren, so this technically makes him a `cyborg,' not a `robot."'

You Look Like a Monkey

I must express my extreme gratitude to Georgia Derek for turning me on to the wonderful world of Monk-E-Mails.
Career Builder set it up, so you just go to the site, pick your monkey, dress him up, choose your voice (Paul & Kate are 2 of the 4 choices), then type your short message.
Hilarity ensues.

I like to fling my own poop

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Shotgun Wedding

One of our favorite couples, AJ Hawk and Laura Quinn tied the knot in the Green Bay law offices of Liebmann, Conway, Olejniczak & Jerry. Attorney J. Michael Jerry officiated.
Apparently, this isn't a "don't use Durex" situation, Hawk just wanted to be married before he signed his NFL deal so his new bride could be covered by the team's insurance policy, or some such thing. I guess we'll find out in a few months.

Diesel's Weekend in New England

Diesel had a waterlogged weekend in Connecticut. We let him go swimming in the river with his leash on. Then he sloshed around in a brook behind Kate's parents neighbors house. Then he found a pond at Kate's friends house. Only one of her dogs (Freckles) would go in with Diesel. Wolfie was too scared so her supervised from the bank.
He loves the water so much that as we were getting ready to come back to New Jersey, he darted out the door, ran past the car and back into the neighbor's brook.




You're Fired

ESPN shitcanned Harold Reynolds with no reason given.
Reynolds was ok on "Baseball Tonight" but a little boring and way too much of an ass kisser.
I don't think either of those things matter at ESPN, so I assume he was banging some white chick who decided to turn him in when he tried to use her back door.
Hey, it brought down Kobe.

As Seen On CNN

Fake Weed a Growth Business for Advocate

GREENFIELD, Mass. (AP) -- Joseph White's home office is like a modern-day hippie hangout. Books on Buddhism and yoga mingle with business planners and a laptop computer. An acoustic guitar rests next to a shuffle of sheet music for "Mr. Tambourine Man," just across the room from a fax machine.
And then there are the marijuana stalks. Towering six-footers. Pint-sized plants for personal medical use. He even has a few ripe buds kicking around on a desk, not far from his cell phone.

His stash is for sale, but it won't get you stoned. These lifelike botanicals are made of silk and wood.

Behold, counterfeit cannabis.

During the past two years, White -- a trim 51-year-old with thinning hair and a small stud in his left earlobe -- has rolled his pro-pot activism and business savvy into New Image Plants, a startup company that sells the make-believe marijuana online.

"The business name reflects exactly what I'm trying to do -- create a new image for these plants," he said. "They're beautiful plants and people should be able to enjoy them without fear of arrest."

White won't say whether he smokes pot or has in the past. But he began pushing for marijuana legalization about seven years ago after talking to one of his sons about anti-drug advertising.

"He wanted to know why adults were talking down to kids and trying to scare them," White said. While he doesn't condone the use of marijuana by minors, White rebukes the notion that pot is a harmful drug that inevitably leads to the use of harder drugs.

"Kids know those claims aren't true," White said. "So when they hear an anti-drug message like that, they just discount it."

So he started a nonprofit group in 1999 called Change the Climate, which advocates for the legalization and taxation of marijuana and better education about the drug.

"My vision was that I needed to tell the truth about marijuana," White said.

By getting his artificial plants into private residences and public spaces, White is betting that more people will start appreciating the natural beauty of the real thing's jagged, seven-point leaves, lithe stems and robust buds instead of thinking of marijuana as an evil weed.

His early customers were people looking for gag gifts, party planners in search of unique decorations and law enforcement agencies needing replicas for training missions.

Then Hollywood came calling, and New Image Plants hit a financial high.

In April, White received an order for 355 plants from "Weeds," the Showtime cable television series about a single suburban soccer mom who deals marijuana to support her family.

Julie Bolder, the show's set director, needed to concoct a grow room stocked with what would look like $1 million worth of marijuana. She called White after stumbling on his web site.

"I looked hard to find somebody to make us good weed, and Joe did the best job," Bolder said. White's pot will make it's television debut early in the show's second season, which airs in mid-August.

"All the weed you see on the show is Joe's weed," Bolder said.

The order brought in about $40,000, about five times what White said his company had earned since it sprang up 18 months ago.

Suddenly, the business became bigger than he expected -- or needed.

Along with his continued work for Change the Climate, White is the senior vice president of Share Group, a private organization that offers consulting, fundraising and marketing services to nonprofit organizations, including the American Civil Liberties Union and Planned Parenthood.

He is also the president of another marketing company that works with smaller clients.

Although he isn't relying on New Image Plants as his main source of income, White sees no competition in the mock marijuana market and expects his sales to continue building from the interests of "the hundreds of millions of people who smoke pot and the hundred of millions of people who have no problem with it."

The plants are assembled by White's manufacturing partner in Jupiter, Fla., by workers who attach stems and leaves made from imported Chinese silk to a thin, wooden trunk. The plants are wedged into a pot with a foam base, then topped with moss. The flowering marijuana models that sell for $80 to $190 come with a few buds attached. His hemp models, which do not have flowers, sell for $65 to $150.

Until his order from "Weeds," White's biggest buyers were law enforcement agencies in Virginia and Ontario, Canada. And that was a hard fact for the dealer to deal with.

"I have deeply mixed feelings selling to law enforcement," he said. "They've been some of our largest customers. If an average order is $150, the average law enforcement order is over $1,000.

"But at least those tax dollars are coming back to help fund the reform movement," White said.

So far, his products haven't disappointed even the most discerning customers.

"When you come through the door and look at them, you'd swear you're looking at real marijuana," said John O'Reilly, an instructor at the Ontario Police College in Canada. After finding just one other company that makes fake pot plants, the college purchased 30 of White's two-foot-tall stalks to simulate a homegrown marijuana cultivation operation.

"We've had people see them and want to know why we're growing marijuana."

The New Image Plants have also fooled some other connoisseurs.

After ordering a bogus bud online, one customer called White to ask how soon her shipment would arrive.

"I could tell in her voice that she thought she had ordered the real thing," White said. While he did his best to set her straight, the caller was adamant that actual marijuana could be bought through the Internet, he said. But he insisted that she not try getting high on the silk supply.

"We cannot be held liable for stupid people smoking our plants," he said.

Candy is the Devil

This morning I was a little hungry and wanted a candy bar or chips. My card had very little money so I went upstairs to add to it. I added the maximum, $50. Then when I came back downstairs, I went with my PA to the vending machines. When I put my card in, it was rejected. Then a guy came in and said that machine was broken and would erase our cards. So we tried them in other machines, it erased them. So we went into the cafeteria told the lady how much had been on the card (we used the honor system) and she replaced my $52. She told us to e-mail the guy in charge of vending machines so that he could fix that machine. So my PA sent the e-mail and CCed me on it. When the guy replied to us the e-mail changed my name to Fred.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Deeeeeeeeeeee-Licious

EUREKA, Mo. (AP) -- Steve Rusakiewicz had never heard of Dippin' Dots, much less wrapped his tongue around the colorful flash-frozen ice cream in BB-sized pellets.
But taking a respite from the muggy July heat at the Six Flags amusement park near this St. Louis suburb, the 28-year-old Rolla, Mo., man plunked down $6 for a medium-sized cup of the icy treat and instantly proclaimed himself hot for the dots.

"I gotta say, man, they're pretty darn good," a smiling Rusakiewicz said through his mouthful of Cookies 'n Cream. He said the treat "starts off like a rock candy but ends up like ice cream."

"This just blows me out of the water," he declared. "I've never seen ice cream like this before."

Curt Jones finds such testimonials supercool.

"When some people see it for the first time, it's always interesting to watch their reaction," said the inventor of Dippin' Dots and founder of the ice cream chain.

Jones, a one-time southern Illinois farm boy whose entrepreneurial spirit dates to his teenage days selling everything from eggs to brooms, has made a mint with the tiny, cryogenically frozen beads of ice cream, sherbet and yogurt he invented nearly two decades ago.

Once forced to sell one of his cars and raid his savings to launch Dippin' Dots, Jones has seen the chain swell to nearly 2,000 locations across the country, from mall kiosks to amusement parks and stadiums.

Available in some two dozen flavors, Dippin' Dots are sold on five continents, with prices often a bit of a premium over "conventional" ice cream. At Six Flags here, a five-ounce small fetches $5, a 12-ounce large $7.

Jones said he expects wholesale business this year to be near $50 million -- about $14 million more than just three years ago. About half of sales come from national accounts including theme parks and stadiums, much of the rest from franchisees numbering roughly 150, many with multiple locations, he said.

The company has morphed from a one-man operation in Grand Chain, Ill., into a 200-worker operation based in Paducah, Ky. Jones said he expects Dippin' Dots to grow about 15 percent this year, with franchisees to open about 50 new retail sites, half of them walk-in stores.

Such growth hasn't gone unnoticed. Twice in recent years, Dippin' Dots has been named to Inc. magazine's list of fastest-growing privately held companies. In March of last year, Franchise Times magazine listed Dippin' Dots tops among its Fast 55, noting that the company's franchise units had spiked 13,154 percent since 1999.

"I always thought it had a chance to do well. But I'm kind of surprised by how it's taken off," said Jones, a 46-year-old microbiologist with expertise in cryogenics, by which things are frozen at hypercold temperatures.

Jones always loved fresh ice cream since the days he helped make it occasionally on the family's corn, soybean and pig farm in deep southern Illinois' Pulaski County. At the time, Jones made pocket money fixing radios or selling brooms for $3 a pop, eggs for 50 cents a dozen.

"It was always, `What's our next venture and how are we going to make money at it?'" he said.

At the urging of one of his community college chemistry teachers, Jones went on to study premed at Southern Illinois University in Carbondale but quickly shifted direction. Intrigued by microbiology from an industrial perspective more than a medical one, he landed two microbiology degrees.

One day, Jones was crafting a batch of ice cream with a neighbor when he wondered aloud if freezing the stuff faster would make it taste better, "less icy." After months of tinkering with recipes and shapes, Jones in 1988 perfected instantly superfreezing tiny balls of ice cream using a nitrogen-based vapor.

Jones dubbed his creation Dippin' Dots and proclaimed it the "Ice Cream of the Future." He made it in his garage before shifting production in 1990 to what used to be a liquor store in Paducah.

Five years later, Jones opened a 32,000-square-foot Paducah plant, then spent another $7 million in 2003 to retool its production room, add liquid nitrogen tanks and milk silos, and build a freezer-warehouse covering 18,000 square feet.

"I just had no way of knowing the impact it had on some people," Jones said.

Now looking to supermarkets for growth, Jones is test marketing Dots 'n Cream -- Dippin' Dots folded into a more conventional ice cream. While traditional Dippin' Dots are stored at 40 degrees below zero, Dots 'n Cream -- for now available in vanilla, chocolate, mint chocolate chip or banana split -- is the first by Dippin' Dots that can be stored in a conventional freezer.

Jones, who now lives in Nashville, also runs a music publishing company and even has helped produce an independent movie. He's working to develop an ethanol plant in southern Illinois, not far from his childhood haunts.

In his spare time, he plays basketball three times a week and ballroom dances with his wife, which keeps his 5-foot-11, 215-pound frame "fairly solid" despite the ever-present temptations of his creation.

"I've gotta watch it a little bit," the ice cream lover concedes.


Facts about Dippin' Dots, the brainchild of one-time southern Illinois farm boy Curt Jones:
WHAT THEY ARE: Tiny, croygenically frozen beads of ice cream, yogurt, sherbet and flavored ice.

ORIGIN: Invented in 1988 by Curt Jones, a microbiology graduate of Southern Illinois University in Carbondale.

VARIETY: Dippin' Dots offered in some two dozen flavors, plus seasonal ones.

SALES: Jones expects sales this year to be about $50 million.

THE COMPANY: Based in Paducah, Ky., Dippin' Dots Inc. has nearly 2,000 locations across the country, from mall kiosks to amusement parks and stadiums. Dippin' Dots also are sold at dozens of sites in at least 10 other countries.

Library Masturbator Update

I'm sure most Poop readers will never forget Michael Cooper, the library masturbator who was outed by Cleveland's investigative reporter, Carl Monday.

Cooper was sentenced for his crime last week, and had another run-in with Monday.


Stephen A. Liar

Dusty Baker was supposed to be on "Quite Frankly" because the Cubs are in town to play the Mets.
A QF staffer sent an e-mail to Cubs message boards to drum up audience, and said disgruntled Cubs "can definitely feel free to BOO Dusty if you so please."
Dusty heard about this and canceled his appearance.
Stephen A. then lied about it, saying that websites changed the text of the e-mail.
Once he realized you can't fight angry bloggers, he said this "The production company did a thorough review and it was brought to my attention that I was mislead. The word 'boo' was used. I trusted the individual and apologize for giving bad information. At the end of the day, the situation has been dealt with."

Deadspin chronicles the mess in further detail for any interested parties.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Stay Classy San Diego

This weekend in San Diego is the 53rd Over-the-Line Tournament.

Over-the-Line is a competition among hundreds of teams playing a four-inning, three-person variant of softball. Played within narrow boundaries, the object is to hit a mushy ball past or over opposing players.

But really the tournament is "a beer-fueled nudity fest"

The tournament starts with the selection of an Over-the-Line queen, named Miss Emerson. The name comes from a risque knock-knock joke, (knock, knock, who's there, Emerson, Emerson who? Em are some big tits).

Over-the-Line teams attempt to out-gross one another with their names. Only two subjects are off-limits: John Wayne and the 1978 crash of PSA Flight 187 in San Diego. (Lots of Old Mission Beach Athletic Club members are pilots.)

The most common themes for Over-the-Line team names involve sex, in many permutations. Many names include more than one theme.

With hundreds of teams playing on 50 sandy courts, team names are continually boomed over a public-address system, all done deadpan. The dawn-to-dusk barrage of X-rated words sets the tone for the event.

There are multiple divisions for men's teams, each division described by a reference to whether a male can perform sexually or not. There is a division for women's teams. Some of the raunchiest names come from the women's teams. I guarantee Josh would have a name that had something to do with Whale Vagina.

The preferred garb is bikinis for women, gym shorts for men. But some devotees prefer costumes, irreverent ones, of course.

On Saturday, a retired firefighter calling himself "the Pope of OTL the First" and wearing religious garb, strolled among the crowd bestowing blessings. He was accompanied by two cardinals and two nuns; the nuns, of course, had four-letter words on their habits.



Local strip clubs often send their best girls out to advertise. All girls can receive a free t-shirt, so long as they take off whatever they're wearing to put it on.

For men not engaged in playing the games, a major preoccupation is encouraging women to remove their bikini tops. Some men offer bead necklaces, much like at Mardi Gras, as incentive. Some men just beg. There are a lot of cameras.

At the northwest corner of the expansive playing field are 11 large bulletin boards covered with hundreds, if not thousands, of pictures of women showing off their breasts at the last few Over-the-Line tournaments. On Saturday, some women were quick to make sure their pictures were still being displayed.

Friday, July 21, 2006

We Have to Start Doing This

Most readers of this blog are right-minded people (Mets fans) who love punishment (Knicks fans) but a lot of us root for different NFL teams (Redskins, Dolphins, Giants & Jets) and although about half of us went to Syracuse we do have readers from Penn State, Michigan and Georgia Southern. Georgia Derek, when Central (Connecticut State) kicks GSU's ass on September 9th, you'll know who keeps calling.

So if you followed Rick Reilly's advice and gave money to fight mosquitos in Africa, then please follow his advice and piss off your friends.

He kept you from buying that fur-toaster business.

He tells people you dunked off his alley-oop when you both know it was the other way around.

He was the only one who came to the wedding when you married the stripper.

So how can you show your best buddy you care without looking vaguely Brokeback? The way most guys do it, by giving him untold piles of crap.

Now there's a cool new way to do just that. It's called One Ring, and it's going to be more popular than breast implants.

Let's say your friend in Houston is a sick Texans fan. Any time the Texans do something stupid -- like fumble or blow a 20-yard field goal or not draft Reggie Bush -- you simply call him, let the phone ring once and hang up. You One Ring him. It'll make him nuttier than Courtney Love.

Guys are One Ringing their buddies all over the country. You're a Cowboys fan and Dallas just signed Terrell (Typhoid Mary) Owens? Your phone will be One Ringing right off your belt. You're a Pistons fan and Detroit just let Ben Wallace skate? You'll get more rings than Tommy Lee's bathtub. You're a Knicks fan? Your cell will ring like the bells of St. Mary.

Anytime your team blows it, get ready. "I get One Rings at two in the morning," says Chris Carson, a rabid Dallas fan who helped come up with the idea. "I'm forced to get up, go downstairs, turn on ESPN Classic and see that the Steelers are beating my Cowboys in, like, Super Bowl X."

One Ring started in 1991 among graduates of Bates College in Lewiston, Maine. They were looking for a way to torment each other about their teams without piling up hernia-inducing phone bills. Lately, it's grown like kudzu. Now people are ringing each other internationally -- for free!

"With each chirp of the phone," says Carson, who will get up to 50 rings when his Cowboys screw up, "there is the fundamental realization that someone, somewhere cared enough to utter the long-distance equivalent of Nelson's 'HA-ha!' from The Simpsons. It's 21st-century trash talking."

Even cooler: You can be the ringer of bad news. Say your friend Tork is at his desk, minding his own business, selling and buying widgets as usual. Suddenly his phone rings once. Then again. Then again. An icicle suddenly forms in Tork's heart. He knows something horrible has happened to his beloved Red Wings. He goes to the Internet to find -- hello! -- they've moved to Tucson!

Reach out and torment someone! It's creative grief-giving!

It's even catching on beyond sports. Recently, a One Ringing architect in New York City was being publicly berated by his boss. When the boss left, the guy got 13 One Rings. Cruel.

There are all kinds of variations on the theme. Your Oklahoma buddy's Sooners just went on 10-year probation? Why not simply text him a Ring! Send a buddy The Ring DVD. Hell, go to Walgreens, buy an actual ring for two bucks and send it in an envelope, no note.

Carson did something like that to his best friend, Q, who lives in Pittsburgh. When Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger broke his face in a motorcycle accident, there arrived at Q's door a motorcycle helmet -- scuffed, dinged and dented -- with Steelers stickers on it and a note attached:

Ring!

If you're going to start One Ringing your poor friends, adhere to the Ring's strict dos and don'ts. Don't One Ring after deaths or serious injuries (unless it's Joey Porter getting shot in the butt). Do use proper ringspeak. ("I'm not looking forward to Sunday. My Colts are playing really ringy.") Don't One Ring for cheesy stuff like first downs or sacks. And if you do a Revenge Ring to brag on your own team, don't let it be for something trivial. (One of the Bates crew, a big Patriots fan named Graham Ivory, once got so desperate that he began One Ringing when nice things about New England appeared in print. Very iffy.)

And be sure to try this: Sit with some nonringers, watch your favorite team play, and when a first-quarter fake punt backfires, say, "I have this weird feeling the phone's going to ring." Voilá! You're Miss Cleo!

But the thing I like best about One Ringing is that it's the rare way in this homophobic world of sports for guys to show man-love. Women would never do it. There'd be tears, nasty letters and possibly embedded fingernails. But for guys, it's perfect. It's our way of saying, "I miss you." And, "I love you." And, most important, "Your team sucks."

More Puppies

We love puppies. We love puppies with Carrie Underwood. But we're a little unsure about this one.

why did they choose shar peis?

SILL Bombed Again

Another horrible outing for Staten Island's own Jason Marquis.
This time he gave up 12 runs and 14 hits in 5 innings.
Last time, he gave up 13 runs and 14 hits in 5 innings.
According to Nails, he is the first pitcher since 1940 to give up more than 12 earned runs twice during a season.
Apparently, Tony LaRussa thinks Marquis has the mental makeup to handle these beatings as he continues to sacrifice Marquis to rest the bullpen.
Marquis still has 11 wins (and 14 or 15 starts left) but his ERA is now 5.97. Without those two disastrous starts, Marquis’ ERA would be 1.50 runs lower than it is now. While 4.58 isn’t a pretty ERA, it’s no 5.97. His ERA in those other 10 innings is 22.50.

Used to steal Matt's lunch money

The Ship Be Sinking

Exciting drama in the Blue Jays clubhouse led to the release of 1B/3B/DH Shea Hillenbrand. I've been following the coverage closely in the Toronto Star and the Toronto Sun, so let me try to break down what happened.

Saying the Jays designated Hillenbrand for assignment because of what he wrote on a whiteboard is like saying WWI started because of the assassination of Archduke Ferdinand.

It all started about two months ago, during an interleague series in Colorado. With no DH, Hillenbrand was benched for all three games. After that series, Hillenbrand went to manager John Gibbons' office to ask for more playing time.
It became a fight and Hillenbrand says Gibbons "reamed him out" and called him a cancer and a coward.
Some Blue Jays players did say that Hillenbrand was a selfish player who was happy when he was playing, and unhappy when he wasn't.
Last Friday, Hillenbrand and his wife adopted a baby. Hillenbrand claims no one high up in the organization congratulated him. He also says they rushed him back (he left Friday and returned Tuesday, an hour before the game). The team originally wanted him back Monday but gave him an extra day. I think Hillenbrand got pissed when they asked him to come back and he still wasn't in the lineup.
Before Wednesday's game Hillenbrand reportedly wrote "play for yourselves" on a whiteboard that is used for batting practice times. Catcher Greg Zaun added "and for your paychecks."
Some also reportedly wrote "this is a sinking ship" (not "the ship be sinking") on the whiteboard.
Before the game Vernon Wells called a players-only meeting but John Gibbons bursted in screaming at Hillenbrand. Hillenbrand admitted to writing on the whiteboard (which he says lots of players do) but denied being the author of the sinking ship line.
Hillenbrand claims Gibbons was screaming at him, daring Hillenbrand to punch him in the face. Gibbons denies that part but one Blue Jay says it's the maddest he's ever seen Gibbons.
A few minutes after that the Jays designated him for assignment, meaning they must trade or release him within 10 days (of Wednesday).
Adding to the divorce-like nature of this, GM J.P. Ricciardi said the two sides had "irreconcilable differences" and that "this had nothing to do with him adopting a baby."
Hillenbrand was batting .301 with 12 homers and 39 RBI this season. Seems like he could be a good risk for a team that can use an extra stick.

Important Story Update

About a month ago the Concierge told us about the best braised short rib sandwich.

Now he brings us this important update:
"I went by the place with offering the "Best Braised Short Rib Sandwich"- and they have removed the Best from the title to "Braised Short Rib Sandwich" I guess they either received some great advice from a very astute marketing person, a lot of customers sent the sandwich back citing a better braised short rib sandwich, or they are using substandard ingredients this week. Maybe next week if they bring back the Best one, I'll try it."

Shitty Backrub

For the second time in a week President Bush made news (and viral videos).
First, he was caught cursing while talking to Tony Blair about the UN and Hezbollah. This to me wasn't so bad. The crass way he was chomping on the roll was much worse.



Then he touched the shoulders of German Chancellor Angela Merkel, and she jerked away from him.


Call the Waaaaaaa-mbulance

Johnny Damon is crying about some "Damon Sucks" bibs that have appeared on eBay.
Johnny's lawyers ruined the seller's eBay reputation but she got tough with them and they reached a settlement. Because Damon doesn't necessarily mean only Johnny she will be allowed to continue selling the bibs as long as she doesn't include the words "Johnny," "Boston," "Red Sox," "New York," or "Yankees."

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Hot Rookie Cards

As I've mentioned before, I love collecting baseball cards. My favorite part is going back years later when a player becomes good and checking to see if you have his cards.
I did this during the offseason when I heard about a rookie pitcher with the Twins who might be better than phenom Felix Hernandez.
That pitcher became Francisco Liriano who is now 11-2 with a 1.94 ERA and not only a Rookie of the Year front-runner (could still lose to Justin Verlander) but also a legitimate Cy Young candidate.

So I found 3 of his 2002 Bowman rookies and one gold version. They are worth $6 and $12 but going for twice that much on eBay.



Liriano's teammate Joe Mauer also has his rookie card in 2002 Bowman. These cards are worth $4 and $8.



And then there's Henry Owens. This is 2006 Bowman Chrome.

$30,000 Well Spent

Some dude paid $30,000 for a lunch date with Jessica Biel.
In an audio message, Biel said, "I promise, I'm a cheap date."
The auction was part of "Mollypalooza" an event to raise money to help Molly Bloom, a teenager who lost her leg in a prom night limousine accident.
Bloom was run over and dragged about 38 feet by a Hummer stretch limousine on May 13, police said. Limousine driver Stanley D. Sample, 38, faces a misdemeanor charge of careless driving resulting in serious bodily injury.









I Didn't Recognize the Face, but the Boobs Rang a Bell

I must admit, when watching Sunday's episode of "Entourage" I didn't recognize Tori, Sloan's hot blond friend who wanted to have the threesome with Sloan and E.

















But then I checked her out and found out where I had seen her before. Swedish beauty Malin Akerman (not born on September 20th) played Freak Show's Wife Liane in "Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle."




I have now seen her twice in my life, and both times she initiated a threesome. In Harold and Kumar we actually got to see her boobies.




Upon further review she also showed her boobies gratuitously in the first episode of that horror show "The Comeback."

What are Blogs About?

While the most prominent blogs might be about sports or politics, the vast majority are personal in nature, a survey found.
"My life and experiences" was cited as the primary focus by 37 percent of U.S. bloggers, with politics and government a distant second at 11 percent.
The study also found that most bloggers -- 84 percent -- consider their blog mostly a hobby, not something they spend a lot of time on.
Nearly 60 percent spend only one or two hours a week on it (Pizza Parlor Derek), and half the bloggers say they do it mostly for themselves, not for an audience (me).

As Seen on CNN

Some crazy guy asked Verisign for a list off all the dot-com domain names.
Here is what he found:

-47 million domain names end with .com
-every possible 2 and 3 letter and/or number combination is taken
-virtually all English four letter words are taken (including poop
-all of the 1,000 most common English words are taken
-the 1,219 most common male names, the 2,841 most common female names and the 10,000 most common last names are all taken
-home is the most common word of 4 or more letters (719,000 domains)
-sex appears in 257,000 domains
-the average length is 13 characters
-the maximum length is 63 characters
-550 domains have 63 characters including one of each letter of the alphabet repeated 63 times

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Steve Nash got a much needed haircut.
"I just cut it. I don't really have a rhyme or reason. I felt like taking it off."


new
old

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

A-Rod Sucks

Monday night, A-Rod was taken out of the game after making three fielding errors and striking out with the bases loaded. The Yankees said he was hurt. The New York Post lambasted him because earlier in the day he was sunbathing in Central Park.
Last night A-Rod pinch hit with a man on in a tie game in the bottom of the ninth. His at bat was delayed for 2 hours by rain. After the delay, despite a 3-1 count, he struck out.

Get Out of My Dreams

"SOPRANOS" star Jamie-Lynn Sigler was on her way to the opening of the exclusive new Mur.Mur nightclub at the Borgata in Atlantic City, when the stretch limo carrying her entourage pulled up to a rest stop. Sigler stocked up on candy for the remainder of the drive - and got back into the wrong car. The passengers stared at her blankly as she blushed, apologized and made a hasty exit to the correct VIP ride. After sitting in four hours of grueling traffic, the raven-haired beauty joined Wilmer Valderrama, Danny Masterson, Shannon Elizabeth and Constantine Maroulis at the new club.



Tuesday, July 18, 2006

More on Mike & Stacey's Wedding

Pizza Parlor Derek (Georgia Derek and Kevin weren't invited) finally weighs in on Mike & Stacey's Wedding with his long awaited wedding blog.

It wouldn't be a wedding blog without a picture of Derek making a gay face

This is Odd

On June 8, the Islanders hired former Rangers GM Neil Smith.
On Sunday, Neil Smith was on Miked Up (Mike was off) talking about the Islanders. I can't be sure about that though, when I saw they were talking hockey I fast forwarded.
Now he's out. It is unclear whether Smith quit or was fired.

We're Not a Free Taxi Service

This is why so many people in this country hate President Bush and his administration. American citizens in Lebanon are going to be required to pay for their own evacuation.
"The Department of State reminds American citizens that the U.S. government does not provide no-cost transportation but does have the authority to provide repatriation loans to those in financial need. For the portion of your trip directly handled by the U.S. Government we will ask you to sign a promissory note and we will bill you at a later date." - The U.S. Embassy in Beirut

I wish for once someone in the administration would think about these things on a common sense level.

Not That There's Anything Wrong With That

Oprah Winfrey made the cover of O Magazine again this month. But that isn't the surprise. Inside she denies rumors that she and her friend Gayle King are lesbian lovers.
"I understand why people think we're gay," Oprah says. "There isn't a definition in our culture for this kind of bond between women. So I get why people have to label it - how can you be this close without it being sexual?"
"The truth is, if we were gay, we would tell you, because there's nothing wrong with being gay," says King.
Says Winfrey: "Something about this relationship feels otherworldly to me, like it was designed by a power and a hand greater than my own. Whatever this friendship is, it's been a very fun ride."


Monday, July 17, 2006

Father of The Year

Bears linebacker and Bill's gay lover, Brian Urlacher is in a custody battle over his 13-month old son.
Urlacher wanted the kid to stay with unti lhe goes to training camp next week. A judge said no after the mother, Tonya Robertson, said he's too young to spend nights away from her.
He will be allowed to have some overnight visits because Urlacher complained travel was cutting into his time with the boy, who lives in Joliet, 90 minutes from Lake Forest where Urlacher lives with his ex-wife and two daughters.
I don't know why Urlacher lives with his ex-wife.
When Urlacher complained that most of his visitation time was taken up by the long drive, the woman's said Urlacher that he might have considered that when he had unprotected sex with Robertson.
"This child could have been born in Florida or California or anywhere else you chose to have one-night stands,'' Lake said to Urlacher.
Robertson testified that Urlacher had missed 22 scheduled visitations with his son since March, sometimes with only an hour's notice.
The two sides also squabbled about who would drive to pick up or drop off the boy on visitation days. Robertson balked at having to drive to Urlacher's home.
At the end of the visitation hearing, the judge reminded Urlacher and Robertson that they have 17 years to go until the child they conceived is 18 years old.
Urlacher evidently wasn't listening to the Kanye West blaring out of Charles Tillman's locker.
18 years man, 18 years. She got one of your kids she got you for 18 years.

If Urlacher had to knock up a one-night stand, I'm glad it wasn't Paris
I see London, I see France

Hottie Turned Diva

Only a couple months after coming in second on American Idol Katharine McPhee has dropped the hot girl who doesn't know it act, in favor or a Hollywood diva gimmick.
Kat was not on the first three weeks of the American Idol tour due to a suspect case of bronchitis. The other contestants, angered by her temper tantrums and the preferential treatment she receives aren't looking forward to her return.
McPhee apparently freaked out on a reporter who asked about rumors that was asked to sing at Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' wedding, and that John Mayer had asked her out.

Too Bad He Wasn't Wearing Sandals

Former Syracuse University football star Walter Reyes says he foiled a burglary and saved thousands of dollars raised for chatiry at the M & T Foot Ball from being stolen.
In June, Reyes was a participant at a charity event and a house guest at the home of the event's planner Lauren Russo-Duby.
Reyes said he was awakened at 1 a.m. when two alarm beeps sounded from his girlfriend's Pontiac Sunfire, which was parked in Russo-Duby's driveway.
As he looked out the window, Reyes said he saw one person in the front seat of Russo-Duby's Acura MDX and another trying to break into the Sunfire.
In the Russo-Duby SUV was a box containing thousands of dollars of checks, credit card receipts and cash from the M & T Foot Ball charity event.
Additionally, there were unsold sports items from the event, such as prints, autographed footballs and signed caps.
Wearing blue SU sweat pants and a pair of white socks, the shirtless Reyes said he chased three men down the street for about a quarter-mile until they escaped in a getaway car that he described as a red 1998 Jeep Grand Cherokee.
"Obviously, I can't catch an SUV," said Reyes, one of the fastest men to play tailback for the Orange. "I tried. If I had shoes on, there would have been some trouble. I'm telling you, it would have been lights out for those guys."
Russo-Duby said nothing was stolen out of the cars, and the robbers only got into the glove compartment and console of her vehicle.
"Walter saved everything," she said. "I feel really blessed that he did that for me."

Paul's note: Great job by Reyes, but why did this person, run a charity event, then keep all the proceeds in their car? That does not make sense.

Waddup Cuz


Our Day With Jenna

Last weekend Kate and I had the pleasure of spending the day with our adorable little niece, Jenna.






Poker on TV

As you know, one of my favorite pasttimes is watching poker on TV. There are various poker shows that I watch, here's a breakdown:

2005 U.S. Poker Championship:
Recently concluded on ESPN. Kept together the great announcing team of Norman Chad and Lon McEachern. They are by far the best poker announce team. They analyze the action (a bit light on technical poker analysis) without beating you over the head with the drama. In this tournament two amateurs (Joe Caparucio and Ralph Peccorale) from the same home game in Long Island went heads up. Norm loved Capo because both went to University of Maryland.

Full Tilt Poker/Mansion Poker Live events:
I recently watched 2 4 hour live events on FSN. The Full Tilt Poker event featured 7 top pros (Jesus, the Mouth, Seidel, Lindgren, Juanda, Ivey & Gowen) and the Mansion Poker was 3 pros (John Gale, Gavin Smith & Todd Brunson). The FTP one was particualrly interesting because it really was a quality field, and you got to see every hand. I'd say at the beginning when all 7 players were in about half the hands were walks (unopened pots) and the others were battles of the blinds. Pretty cool to watch once, or once in a while, but four hours of poker is a lot.

Professional Poker Tour:
It's only had two episodes so far, but I like what I've seen. The PPT is an off-shoot of the WPT, with a plan to be like the PGA of poker. Players have to earn their tour cards. It's cool that all the players are pros, and about half at every table are well known. They show you a featured table and constantly cut-in or flash on the screen, knockouts from other tables. Each tournament will be 5 2-hour episodes, 4 quarters and then a final table. Not quite sure how it works beyond that, but apparently each knockout is recorded and points are accumulated and a "winner" is determined. The show is hosted by some douche I never heard of and Mark Seif is the poker analyst. For some reason I think he's Shawn's poker idol. Anyway, they do a passable job, but you can tell Seif is uncomfortable with TV as a neophyte. Also, like the WPT they incessantly beat you over the head by telling you how exciting everything is. And how important this tournament is. And how unique the PPT is. It is an improvement over the WPT in that you get to see more than just the final table. Especially since in the past 2 seasons, WPT final tables were made up of 90% amateurs and unknown pros.

High Stakes Poker:
Maybe my favorite poker show. Gabe Kaplan ("hey, Mr. Kotter) and AJ Benza host this made for TV cash game. Pretty cheap TV since there are no prizes and basically four cameras shooting the table for one day. It's unique because you never seen cash games, and the players are more relaxed, and because they are all pros who know each other the trash talk is the best part of the game. The cocktail waitresses are second. I've seen Daniel Negreanu (my favorite player) at his best in this game, making great reads, although he did get bluffed off a flush by Todd Brunson.

Intercontinental Poker Championship:
21 players representing 21 countries got together into 3 groups of 7. Each group played twice, the winner of each round advanced to the final table. With all the great players (Doyle Brunson from the USA, Daniel from Canada, Johnny Chan from China, Humberto Brenes from Costa Rica) the final table was mostly anonymous. Tony G from Australia, David Benyamine from France, Steve Wolff from South Africa, Ralph Perry from Russia, Yosh Nakano from Japan were joined by Sammy Farha from Lebanon (the only big name). Tony G and Nakano won the 2 semi finals and will go heads up for the title next week. Gabe Kaplan hosts this show too, and other than making fun of Tony G there really isn't that much production value. Also, the blinds go up too fast, so after the first few minutes someone is all in virtually every hand they show on TV.

World Series of Poker:
Starts tomorrow night at 8 on ESPN. I cannot wait. My favorite broadcast team, with the best production values, showing the best tournament. I enjoy the circuit events (which we'll be seeing for the next few months) but I love the Main Event. They say every pro says his worst day of the year is when he gets knocked out of the Main Event. My worst day of the year is when they air the final table. Pass the sugar!

The Shining

I always thought "The Shining" was a scary, creepy movie. Judging from this trailer it looks like a nice family comedy.



Maybe you'd rather watch the movie in 30 seconds as performed by cartoon bunnies.

Cats are Cunts