Thank You for Being a Friend

Normally when a celebrity dies I try to commemmorate them with the most obscure reference to that person as possible. For instance, Vonnegut , Heston and Rizzuto.

Since I'm not really a big "Maude" fan, and "Golden Girls" is too cliche, I'll just pass on these two anecdotes about Bea Arthur.

Two things you need to know to understand these stories.
1) Mrs. Poop loves Golden Girls.
2) Bea Arthur's character was named Dorothy Zbornak.

Mrs. Poop’s current Facebook status says “R.I.P. Dorothy Zbornak ” One of her friends commented “sorry for your loss.”

A few years back while watching “The Office” I noticed a credit for a producer named Kent Zbornak. I paused the show and wondered aloud if “he’s related to Dorothy.” Mrs. Poop thought for a few seconds, then started hysterical laughing. I often point to that instance as the reason why we make such a good couple. I’m the only person in the world who saw that name and made that connection. And she’s the only person who would have found it funny.

Bea Arthur, we’ll miss you.

Thank you for being a friend.

Paulo's Book Club: "Pedro, Carlos & Omar"

Reading “Pedro, Carlos and Omar” by Adam Rubin, with the benefit of hindsight actually ruined the book for me. The book was written on the premise that the signing of Pedro Martinez and subsequently Carlos Beltran was going to have a transformative impact on the organization, resulting in several World Series titles.




Reading it now, four painful years later, takes a lot of the excitement out of it.

The book also pushes the premise that Pedro’s impact would be felt beyond his performance on the field. It would be a recruiting tool for other top Latinos (starting with Carlos Beltran) and it would turn the Mets into Los Mets, a marketing juggernaut in the growing Hispanic market.

Four years later I now consider the Pedro Martinez signing one of the worst in Mets history. An injury prone pitcher, past his prime was given four years and $53 million. After a hot start in his first season (12-3) he limped to a record of 20-20 over the rest of his contract and was never there when the Mets needed him.

And his impact as a recruiter is grossly overstated as well. He supposedly was the reason Carlos Beltran signed with the Mets, but the book even says Beltran wanted to take $14 million less ($2m per year) to stay with the Astros, but they wouldn't give him a no-trade clause. And they didn't have Pedro. Beltran also wanted to sign with the Yankees for less money, but they didn't want him (no Pedro there either).

And Carlos Delgado? He turned down the chance to be Pedro's teammate when he was a free agent, and even bristled at the Mets' overuse of the Hispanic thing in his recruitment. He only joined the Mets at gunpoint after the Marlins sucked, then traded him.

The flawed premise of the book notwithstanding, I also dislike the style in which it is written. The book reads too much like a best-of compilation of Rubin's Daily News game recaps.

There are some great anecdotes about the offseason wheeling and dealing, and even some gems from during the season, but mostly it's a rehash of the games, without enough new info to make rehashing them worthwhile.

"Pedro, Carlos and Omar" shows a lot of promise, and starts strong, but is missing that certain something that would take it from good to great. Sort of like the team it describes.

Baseball is Poop

Is it Called a Typo? Or a Sew-O?
Nationals players Adam Dunn and Ryan Zimmerman were given jerseys without the O on the front, reading "Natinals."





It's amazing this happened and no one noticed, but even more amazing that I vividly remember it happening several other times before.
I even blogged about the time Aaron Harang was wearing a misspelled jersey.
Adam Riggs once wore an Angees jersey while playing for the Angels.

And I remember Mama Poop cutting this one out of the newspaper for me, when Joe Carter was playing for the Torotno Blue Jays.

More Jersey Mayhem
When the Mets released relief pitcher Darren O'Day he went home to Florida. That's where he was when his agent told him to hop on the first flight to Toronto because the Texas Rangers had just claimed him.
He was going through customs in the 8th inning and he came on to pitch in the 11th. But they had no jersey for him so he wore Kason Gabbard's #30. And O'Day gave up the game-losing hit to the first batter he faced.
This might have confused the front office because Gabbard was traded the next day.
O'Day now wears #56.



I Wouldn't Get Started On Emilio Bonifacio's Hall of Fame Plaque Yet
Emilio Bonifacio started out the season 14 for 24 (.583) in his first five games. After which his "owned %" in fantasy leagues probably jumped to 100. Since then Bonifacio is 6 for 45 (.133). He also has 0 extra base hits and 0 RBI over that span. And the speedster has only one stolen base during that stretch, because you can't steal first.

I'm Getting Too Old For This Shit
Last year I wrote about poor umpire Kerwin Danley getting smacked in the face with a pitch while Vin Scully ran down every thing he knew about the man (too bad the video doesn't work anymore). Less than a year later Danley was carted off the field on a stretcher again, after getting hit with a broken bat.



Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Immediately After You Just Did It
Jermaine Dye hit his 300th career home run, then was immediately upstaged by teammate Paul Konerko who hit his 300th. Back to back milestones. The odds of two teammates being stuck on 299 at the same time are astronomical. No two teammates had ever hit 300 in the same game, never mind back to back. Incredible happenstance.

Cool Picture of the Week
Rickie Weeks take a pitch to the face. I'm pretty sure he bunted it up into his face or else his face likely would have been shattered. But still pretty crazy, you can see Weeks's skin rippling away from the impact zone.

Worst App Ever

Apple pulled the plug on an application dubbed "Baby Shaker," which encouraged users to shake a virtual baby to quiet its cries. Two days after approving the 99-cent program, Apple responded to an outcry of complaints and removed it from the iPhone application store.



Apple representative Natalie Kerris confirmed that Apple had approved then removed "Baby Shaker" for sale in the App Store. But she declined to comment on why Apple took either step. She also declined to comment on how many copies of "Baby Shaker" were downloaded before the application was removed or whether its developer, Sikalosoft, faced any consequences for submitting the program.

Sikalosoft billed "Baby Shaker" as a way for users annoyed by real-life crying babies to take out their aggressions virtually. The application showed a drawing of a crying infant. To get it to stop crying, users were instructed to shake their iPhone. The shaking killed the baby, which then appeared with red "Xs" on its eyes.

"Babies are everywhere you don't want them to be! They're always distracting you from preparing for that big presentation at work with their incessant crying. Before Baby Shaker there was nothing you could do about it," Sikalosoft said on the promotional page for the game on its Web site.

Apple's iPhone application store has proved phenomenally successful. It now offers about 35,000 programs, and the number of downloads is approaching 1 billion, Apple reported Wednesday.

But the company has been guarded about the application approval process, and has drawn criticism for having arbitrary rules about what will and won't pass muster.

I don't blame Apple for this because this is the problem with letting user-generated content onto your system/device. For every hundred brilliant ideas like iFart, there's an asshole out there who does something like this. I would love to get the chance to shake/pound/beat some sense into the cockfaces at Sikalsoft.

Why Miss California Should Have Won

She's the only one in the pageant who knows how to wear a sash.

Picture is small, but best I could find, she's third from the left first row.



I'm not going to go on a rant about this pageant this because Mrs. Poop will yell at me but there's no way a gay guy should be judging a pageant in which tits are a major factor. And no way any judge should decide who wins based on her political views. We're sorry, nobody wants gay marriage legalized, but don't penalize the hot bitch with the nice tits.

Song of the Week

"Brooklyn (We Go Hard)" - Jay-Z
It's been a long time since I liked a Jay-Z song but the sample/hook to this one is hauntingly beautiful.

Is Yadier Molina Grabbing Daniel Murphy's Junk?

Hasn't Yadier Molina done enough damage to the Mets. There's the Game 7 home run, now last night he tags out two runners at home by expertly blocking the plate, with help from Beltran who doesn't know how to slide. But this is adding insult to injury. Looks like he is trying to grab Daniel Murphy's dick.



Reminds me of this picture

What Do You Give Me For? Bill Richardson and Horatio Sanz

Former Saturday Night Live Actor Horatio Sanz has lost a ton of weight and grown a beard. How much does these changes make him look like New Mexico governor Bill Richardson?

Cesar for President

My favorite hero and my role model in calm assertiveness, Cesar Milan has some advice for the Obamas on raising their new puppy, Bo.



Remember, in the canine world, they don't know what you do for a living. They don't know that you live in the White House. But they do understand the energy you project, and they know who sets the rules, boundaries, and limitations. So it is important that every family member establish leadership with the new addition - even Dad!

1. Bo is going to be the world's most famous dog with nearly every bark and misbehavior chronicled. What are the most important training tips for a dog getting all that attention?
Establish leadership from day one! Start off with a nice, long walk. This is the best way to bond with the new dog. Make sure Bo is next to you or behind you. Canine pack leaders walk in front. Establish rules, boundaries and leadership right from the start, and be consistent. Don't send Bo a mixed message. Then, at the end of the day when he is in resting mode, you can share all that affection you've been storing up!
By starting off right, the family can help prevent bad behavior down the road, such as excessive barking, leash-pulling or biting White House reporters.

2. Bo is new, but the house is old and rich in history. How can the Obamas make sure that this new dog doesn't rough up the Lincoln bedroom or the new White House vegetable garden?
Set rules, boundaries and limitations. Let Bo know that certain places are off-limits by claiming the area. Use your body, your mind and your calm-assertive energy to create an invisible wall that the dog is not allowed to cross.
If the family decides an area is off-limits for the dog, the dog should always be supervised in those areas. He should never be left alone there, especially in the first six months.

3. What does Barack Obama's style of leadership as a president tell us about how he'll be as a pet owner? President Obama is a calm and assertive leader. If he applies those skills to his relationship with Bo, he'll be on the right path and a great role model for the world!

4. The president and first lady have made a point of saying that their daughters, Malia, 10, and Sasha, 7, will have responsibilities for walking and cleaning up after Bo. Is that realistic?
Absolutely! It is important for the whole family to be involved, and walking is one of the best ways to bond with Bo. It can also help the dog to see the girls as pack leaders, and of course, it is the humans' responsibility to clean up after the dog. The girls are definitely old enough to respect an agreement to walk Bo and clean up afterwards. I would keep the routine very simple and playful.

5. If the Obamas only took one piece of advice from you about raising Bo, what should it be?
Never work against Mother Nature, always work with her. I received this piece of advice from my grandfather, and I keep it in mind every day. Animals need a balanced pack leader, and when they live with us, we can all be balanced pack leaders!

Looks like the Obamas aren't off to the best start. In his debut Bo was dragging them all over the place. And that's even after he spent a month with a special trainer.

You Thought It Was Bad Now

Our piece of shit laptop aka craptop is broken again. We are not sure whether to fix it (we've had it less than 3 years but the warranty is up) or just buy a new one (and lose all our pictures and everything else saved on there).
Until we figure out something there will probably be no more posts on the Poop, other than a couple things I've already written or something I may have time to do at work.
Fuckin Hewlett-Packard sucks.

Does Susan Boyle Have Milton Bradley Syndrome?

By now you've probably heard the incredible story of Susan Boyle. The 47-year old British woman who spent her whole life caring for her ill mother and never left the house. Like Josie Grossie she's never been kissed. So she goes on "Britain's Got Talent" and because she looks like a frump, a spinster, a schlumpa-dinka, everyone writes her off as soon as she walks on stage. But then she starts to sing:

Click here to watch the performance because the youtube cocksuckers won't let me embed it.

Now Boyle is the most famous woman in the world, leading some to wonder if she might have Milton Bradley Syndrome.

Quick explainer: Milton Bradley Syndrome is when someone has a talent that's overshadowed by a certain flaw (Bradley's temper, Amy Winehouse's drug habit, Susan Boyle's looks) but at some point people actually overrate how good that person would be if not for that talent.

In Susan Boyle's case, I think if she were a gorgeous girl, she probably would have had a record deal 25 years ago. But say she were an average looking girl, with that same singing voice. I doubt she ever would have gotten noticed, and she certainly wouldn't have become the worldwide singing sensation she is now.

Ten Years Later

Believe it or not, it's been 10 years since the shootings at Columbine High School.

Because this is the "new Poop" I won't go into detail about my thoughts on this incident, I'll just make two comments.

1) Pretty much everyone who ever went to high school knew kids like Eric and Dylan, kids who were social pariahs who under the worst of circumstances could have perpetrated something like this. And because of the randomness with which they carried out these shootings, it could have been any of us.
As such, shortly after Columbine I had a nightmare that this took place at Susan Wagner High School. Jordan Rubin and Jonathan Marino were the perpetrators and among the victims were Reissberg, The Concierge and JLeary.

2) A few days after Pizza Parlor Derek and I struggled to fight back tears while watching the memorial service for the kids who had been killed.

Dumb Yankees Fans

How many Yankees fans do you think wondered why Mariano Rivera was playing shortstop when they saw Derek Jeter (and everyone else for that matter) wearing #42 on Jackie Robinson Day?
And maybe a better question is when they found out the reason, how many of them asked "who is Jackie Robinson?"

Angry Yankees Fans

If there's one group of people you don't want to piss off, it's Yankees fans. They acted like animals (which I guess is to be expected, after all, they are Yankees fans) when a Pepsi promotion went wrong. Fans showing up at Times Square for free tickets (they thought for Opening Day) we given free Pepsi and tickets -- to a game in June.

Song of the Week

"I Love College" - Asher Roth

Does make you miss the good old days.

Story suggested by Josh

The Babe Ruth of Fainters

David Buckner faints on the Glenn Beck show. But listen carefully, he calls his shot.



"I'm passing out...I'm passing out...gone."

Incredible, when have you ever heard someone give advance notice of a faint?

And notice the urgency of the floor crew.

By the way, this is what sucks about the new Poop. I heard about this shortly after it happened. But by the time I was able to post it everyone and their mother posted it and most of you Poopheads have probably seen it.

Everybody Leaves

I have said thousands of times that every college athlete (especialy basketball player) who could possibly leave school early to go pro, will (expect for the occassional Tyler Hansbrough).
Even when they say they're staying, don't believe them.
So when it Jonny Flynn, Eric Devendorf and Paul Harris all declared for the NBA draft I wasn't surprised. Ok, maybe Devendorf surprised me a little.
But here's why:
They want the money. They believe they'll get drafted higher than reasonable predictions say they will. And they believe even if they get drafted lower, they believe they'll play their way into the league. They dont take previous failures as cautionary tales. They know Donte Greene is lazy and doesnt work hard or play defense. They're going to be different.

In the case of these three Orange I think they are all making the right decision.

Jonny Flynn has all the skills to be a good NBA point guard and will likely be a mid-first round pick. His only problem is size, and one year is not going to change that. He'll develop his game faster under a good NBA coach than a shitty college coach. How can he work on his defense playing a 2-3? How can he show his late game decision making when all Boeheim ever lets him do is dribble out the clock with a 1 point lead and 5 minutes left?

Paul Harris is making the right decision because Boeheim hates him and the feeling is mutual. Boeheim has already said incoming transfer Wes Johnson will cut into Harris's minutes next year if he were to stay. Boeheim and Harris had a meeting and came to the mutual decision that Harris should leave. Harris also has two kids and could use the money. He has no position in the NBA and I don't expect him to get drafted.

Eric Devendorf probably has an even less likely NBA future than Harris. But like Harris Boeheim basically told him to leave. And Devendorf has been at school four years and is on track to graduate. Like Harris he has a kid who could use some financial support. Unlike Harris, he is tired of working his ass of at a school who makes millions of his performance yet suspends him when some dumb bitch fabricates a story about him.

Maybe this episode will teach you not to believe players when they say they are coming back to school. And while we're on the topic, don't expect any of these guys to come back if they don't like their draft position, or quite possibly, don't get drafted at all.

At Least We Got To See the Apple

An inauspicious debut for CitiField as the Mets lost their home opener in their new home. And not only that, the first batter, Jody Gerut, christened the place with a home run. That makes Gerut the first player to homer in the first at bat in a brand new stadium.

At least in the loss we got to see the new Home Run Apple. Very similar to the old apple (which is on the concourse, available for picture taking), just the new apple is brighter and shinier.



Another new thing I learned about the new park – the distance between home plate and the backstop is only 45 feet, the shortest distance of any park in the majors. I’m sure that will affect wild pitches, slamming into that brick wall back there.

When last we left Shea Stadium, Mike Piazza and Tom Seaver were marching off into the outfield, looking kind of like a gay couple. And they emerged at CitiField looking quite the same.



And what is with these cats? There was that famous incident at Shea in 1969 and again a few years ago during the Subway Series. But one game into the new stadium and already we have a cat scampering on the field?



The stadium looks beautiful and I can't wait to go though my first scheduled game is not until June 20th.

What Do You Give Me For? Tyler Hansbrough & JD McCoy

What do you give me for J.D. McCoy from "Friday Night Lights" and Tyler Hansbrough from the National Champion University of North Carolina Tar Heels.






Story suggested by Juice

Caption Contest

I got this great picture of Chase and Cayla playing behind the bars of the railing, I'm just not sure what to call it.
"Attica! Attica!" or "Better get used to those bars, kid."
If you don't get the second one, your name is not JLeary.

How Do You Eat Your Matzah?

Simple question: when eating a piece of Matzah do you eat with the grain our against?

In other words when holding the matzah and about to take a bite, are the lines horizontal (with the grain) or vertical (against the grain)?

Horny Vegan

A Colorado woman had her desired vanity plate rejected by the Department of Motor Vehicles because it could "be misinterpreted."
Kathy Coffman-Lee requested the plate "ILVTOFU" she says it's because she loves tofu, but it could also be read as "I love to eff you" or "I love to fuck."

Sasha and Malia Finally Get Their Dog

The Obamas adopted a 6-month old Portuguese Water Dog which I’m very happy about it. I love those two little girls, and I think every house (even one as big and important as the White House) needs to have a dog. But a couple things about the way they handled it annoy me.

Note: Pretty much everything the Obama Administration is doing annoys me. From Sanjay Gupta, to Kal Penn, to the Tonight Show to Michelle Obama on every magazine cover. And don’t even get me started on the European Apology Tour. I guess this is how liberals felt for the past 8 years.

First of all, they did not get the dog from a shelter. The whole time they indicated they would adopt a shelter dog, but instead they got him from Ted Kennedy. Second of all, they negotiated an exclusive with the Washington Post. Exclusive pictures, of a dog!

The girls named the dog Bo. Apparently this was the girls tribute to Michelle’s father. He went by the name Diddley, in honor Bo Diddley. But B-O are also the initials of Barack Obama.

Master Bates Goes Wild

Boston University stages one of the biggest comebacks in sports history. Down 2 goals with barely a minute left. In the national championship game. Imagine a team being down 14 in the Super Bowl, or down 2 runs in the bottom of the 9th in the 7th game of the World Series. Absolutely incredible. Here's the last 3 minutes, of the game, the best part starts 3:30 in.



And BU did go on to win in overtime. Congrats to the Terriers!

Passover Humor

Mama Poop's hysterical toilet seat cover.

I Was Literally Cracking Up and Rolling on the Floor Laughing My Ass Off, Literally

As someone who loves too take things too literally I found this video hilarious. It's the 80s classic "Take On Me" by A-ha, except the lyrics have all been changed to literally represent that which is going on in the video.



And here's the original video for those of you love it and think the spoof version bastardizes it.

Nothing Good Happens in the First Three Innings Anyway

Fox has an exclusive contract with Major Leage Baseball which gives them exclusive rights to show games between 4 and 7 pm on Saturdays.
This Saturday however the Mets Marlins game begins at 6, so the team's 2,000 ancient fans can enjoy a postgame concert and still get home early.
That means SNY is not allowed to show the first hour of the game.
I just hope we don't miss a Reyes triple.

No One Can Be That Dumb

This video reportedly comes from the birthday wishes segment on KTVO, a station in Missouri. But there's no way the anchors wouldn't have caught on eventually. It was probably a gag for the Christmas reel.

They Always Blame the Jews

As a lover of good ethnic jokes I normally don't blink an eye when people make fun of jews for having big noses or overbearing mothers. Even cheap Jew jokes can make me laugh. But I often remind the teller the basis of those jokes is also the basis for the Holocaust. Throughout times Jews have always been targeted during times of economic distress. And now is no different. Ira Stoll writes a great piece in the Wall Street Journal about it:

"Walking down the street in my solidly upper-middle-class New York City neighborhood the other day was a neatly dressed man angrily cursing into his cell phone about "Jew Wall Street bankers."

I was headed in the opposite direction and didn't stop to interview him about his particular grievances, but the brief encounter crystallized for me a foreboding that the financial crisis may trigger a new outbreak of anti-Semitism.

It is a fear that is being articulated ever more widely. President Bill Clinton's secretary of labor, Robert Reich, frets on his blog, "History shows how effective demagogic ravings can be when a public is stressed economically." He warns that Jews, along with gays and blacks, could become victims of populist rage.

In the New York Jewish Week newspaper, a column by Rabbi Ronald Price of the Union for Traditional Judaism begins, "In the 1930s, as Germany's economy collapsed, the finger was pointed at the Jews and the Nazis ascended to power. The famous Dreyfus Affair, in which a Jew was falsely accused of treason in France, followed on the heels of economic turmoil."

At this juncture, the trepidation may yet seem like paranoia, or special pleading akin to the old joke about the newspaper headline, "World Ends in Nuclear Attack: Poor, Minorities Hardest Hit." Everyone is feeling the brunt of the recession; why worry about the Jews in particular? After all, Jews today have two refuges: Israel and America, a land where Jews have attained remarkable power and prosperity and have a constitutionally protected right to exercise their religion freely. In that case, why worry about potential danger to the Jews at all?

One answer is that the historical precedents are exceedingly grim. The causes of the First Crusade, in which thousands of Jews were murdered, are still being debated, but some historians link it to famine and a poor harvest in 1095. As for the expulsion of the Jews from Spain in 1492, the foremost historian of its causes, Benzion Netanyahu (the father of Israel's new prime minister), writes of the desire of the persecutors "to get rid of their debts by getting rid of their creditors." More generally, he writes, "it is an iron-clad rule in the history of group relations: the majority's toleration of every minority lessens with the worsening of the majority's condition."

Lest this seem overly crude economic determinism, consider that the Jews have been victims not only of unrest prompted by economic distress but of attempts to remedy such economic distress with socialism. Take it from Friedrich Hayek, the late Nobel Prize winning Austrian economist. In "The Road to Serfdom," Hayek wrote, "In Germany and Austria the Jew had come to be regarded as the representative of Capitalism." Thus, the response in those countries, National Socialism, was an attack on both capitalism and the Jews.

There are ample indicators of current anti-Semitic attitudes. A poll conducted recently in Europe by the Anti-Defamation League found 74% of Spaniards believe Jews "have too much power in international financial markets," while 67% of Hungarians believe Jews "have too much power in the business world." Here in America, the Web site of National Journal is hosting an "expert blog" by former CIA official Michael Scheuer, now a professor at Georgetown, complaining of a "fifth column of pro-Israel U.S. citizens" who are "unquestionably enemies of America's republican experiment." And over at Yahoo! Finance, the message board discussing Goldman Sachs is rife with comments about "Jew pigs" and the "Zionist Federal Reserve."

So will the Jews come under attack? The existence of the Jewish state guarantees refuge for Jews around the world, but it carries with it its own risks. Hezbollah's leader, Hassan Nasrallah, has said that if the Jews "all gather in Israel, it will save us the trouble of going after them world-wide." It's a comment all the more chilling as Nasrallah's Iranian sponsors are on the brink of making a nuclear bomb.

As for the idea that Jewish professional, political, and economic success in America is a guarantee of security, that, too, has its risks. As Yuri Sleskine recounted in his book "The Jewish Century," in 1900 Vienna more than half of the lawyers, doctors and professional journalists were Jewish, as were 70% of the members of the stock exchange. In Germany, after World War I but before the Nazis came to power, Jews served as finance minister and as foreign minister. Such achievements have a way of being fleeting.

It may yet be that the Jews escape the current economic crisis having only lost fortunes. But if not, there will have been no lack of warning about the threat. When Jews gather Wednesday night for the Passover Seder, we will recite the words from the Hagadah, the book that relays the Israelite exodus from slavery in Egypt: "In every generation they rise up against us to destroy us." This year, they will resonate all the more ominously."

I Love This British Stuff

If you've ever looked at London newspapers online you will notice they are unabashed about using sex to sell papers. They frequently post random pictures of the WaGs (wives and girlfriends) of the National Soccer team.

Note: Alex Curran is my favorite WaG.

But this picture accompanying a story about changing the clocks, seems a little gratuitous, even for me.

Winnie Cooper Gets Married

The smoking hot Danica McKellar (best known for playing Winnie Cooper on "The Wonder Years" and the girl in Ted's bedroom in "The Pineapple Incident") who is also incredibly intelligent and gave up acting to pursue a degree in math, got married to some douche, so I might as well post pictures of her.
Becky Slater was her maid of honor, because she's also her sister.
Kevin Arnold wasn't there. I guess it hurt too much.

Method Actor

A disturbing new anti-smoking ad shows a small child losing his mother in a crowded train station. The poor little boy gets sadder and sadder and heart-breakingly, starts to cry.
As if that weren't cruel enough, turns out he wasn't acting.
The Australian company that produced the ad said the boy's reaction was real.
His mother really did walk away from him and they recorded his natural reaction.
I can't think of anything more cruel.
But the company says just a few seconds later he was back in his mother's arms.

Joe Paterno is So Old He Remembers When Jews Dominated the NBA

It's getting to the point where I don't even need to make jokes anymore. Paterno provides such great material it's better to present it unvarnished.



Btw, I do hope they strip Bowden of those 14 wins, because Paterno deserves the record. He may be a senile old fool now but he was a great coach for many years and always did it the right way. As opposed to Bowden who cheated, recruited thugs, and always excused their behavior while hiding behind the veil of Christian charity.

Song of the Week

"Jai Ho" - Pussycat Dolls

Mrs. Poop and I finally saw "Slumdog Millionaire." I loved it, I think Mrs. Poop said she thought it was pretty good, but not worthy of all that hype. But she does love this song, and I love the PussyCat Dolls and my girl Nicole Scherzinger.

Note: This is the New World Order of Song of the Week. Tightass record companies don't allow their videos to be embedded. And instead of clicking on 100 different videos to find one that might be embeddable, I'm just going to paste the link, and no one is going to click, but that's the way it is.

Blame youtube and greedy record labels, not me.

Gruesome Sports Injury

Turkish wrestler Serkan Ozden breaks his finger during a competition and will join Billy and Anthony Munoz in living the rest of his life as a deformed freak.

Jessica Biel Plays a Stripper in a New Movie

Jessica Biel plays a stripper in "Powder Blue" and here's an awesome look at how she got ready for the role.



Update: it has been confirmed that Jessica Biel will show her tits in this movie.

No One Shakes Hands Like Johan Santana

In addition to never losing anymore (10-0 in his last 18 starts) the great Johan Santana is blending in in the clubhouse.

And he also has personal handshakes with every member of the team. The only people I ever knew who could remember 25 different handshakes were Jose Lima, and Juice.

Mrs. Poop Comes Out on Top

When I tried to encourage you all to enter The Poop's tournament challenge group, I promised the winner a "laudatory post."
And there is no one about whom I'd rather write a laudatory post than my wife, the lovely Mrs. Poop.
But since I've often described this entire blog as "a love letter to Mrs. Poop" it's not necessary to repeat all that here.
Plus, her accomplishments speak for themselves. She got 3 out of the 4 Final Four teams correct, nailed Michigan State vs. UNC with UNC winning. And for good measure, in her tiebreaker she correctly predicted Michigan State would score 72 points in the title game.
Her 1570 points placed her in the top half-percent nationally, pretty good. She finished in a multi-way tie for 20,587th place, a remarkable accomplishment in a field of more than 4,000,000 people.

Now the question everyone is asking, how did Mrs. Poop do it? First of all, she picked the least creative entry name possible. Seeing as how "ton" finished second, there must have been something to this.

Second, she did not have me standing behind her while she was making the picks, clearing my throat when she made a bad one. Although, if I had been I wouldn't have let her pick UCLA or Duke over Villanova.

Third, with Mrs. Poop first and jusTON second, maybe being good-looking helped. But considering I finished third and Special K finished last, I doubt that had anything to do with it.

Maybe Mrs. Poop just knows a lot about college basketball. Or maybe she really did travel into the year 2015 and buy a sports almanac.

Who knows?

Congratulations to Mrs. Poop, a deserving winner of the 2009 Poop Tournament Challenge.

If Women Really Wanted Smart and Funny I'd be on the Cover of Magazines Instead of that Humorless Dolt Brad Pitt

A new study has found that ladies adore men who make them laugh.

According to the research, women think that funny men are smarter and more likely to be honest than more dour counterparts.

Women may have evolved to find intelligence an attractive quality because it suggests that a man will be a good provider for her and her children.

The study included 45 heterosexual women who were asked to read shorts descriptions of themselves compiled by 20 men, 10 of which were scored extremely funny and 10 as only slightly funny.

Then women were asked how intelligent and honest they thought that the men were and how likely they would be to go on to develop a friendship or a long-term relationship with them.

The findings show that men who used the funniest descriptions of themselves were thought to be significantly more intelligent than those who weren't as witty.

Funnier men were also seen as a better catch for a long-term relationship, according to the findings.

Mets 2009 Season Preview

After two disappointing collapses, GM Omar Minaya resisted the calls to blow up the Mets core and start over. Instead, Minaya identified the team’s biggest weakness then went after the best possible solutions to his problem. In doing so Minaya has turned a horrible bullpen into what very well could be one of the best pens in the majors.
Minaya realized the difference in the last two season was just a few games, not a few miles. The Mets were just a couple moves away. So he stayed the course and kept his good young players together.

With Reyes, Wright and Beltran, the Mets have a great trio to build around for at least the next 3 years until Beltran’s contract expires, and Wright and Reyes should play together for the next 10. Around them is still a weak lineup.

Carlos Delgado is old and getting older and I still believe his performance of the past two season is more evidence of his diminishing skills than the two hot months he had last year. A similar situation surrounds new acquisition Gary Sheffield who got old in a hurry. If either of those guys can deliver 30 home runs, the Mets will once again have a powerful offense like the one that carried them in 2006.

The other half of the lineup is fairly weak, with Brian Schneider and Luis Castillo amounting to almost automatic outs. Daniel Murphy and Ryan Church should still get a lot of playing times, playing together nearly everyday against right handed pitchers. I really think Murphy if put in between Reyes and Beltran can develop into a great, patient hitter with a .400 OBP and .900 OPS.

The starting pitching is the strength of this team and with six more years of Johan I don’t see that changing. I expect a huge year from Santana and if he gets some run support he can easily win 22 games. He could last year. There are a few question marks behind him though. Mike Pelfrey was a legitimate #2 last year, if he keeps up that growth he’s looking at 15 to 17 wins. And I still love Oliver Perez. He will never be Cy Young caliber like we thought be might in 2004. But he can be a very good to above average pitcher, especially under the tutelage of Dan Warthen. John Maine is a major question mark who can be the best #4 in the league, if healthy. The last spot will likely be a black hole all season with veterans and rookies shuffling in and out of the rotation.

The bullpen solidified by K-Rod and Putz should become a strength and all the other pitchers should be more effective in reduced roles. If Putz is for the 8th and K-Rod the 9th, then the other relief pitchers will likely be called to get throgh one inning, assuming the starters can go 6 on a regular basis. So that solves that problem.

But one more problem exists, one even more insidious, and more destructive over the last three seasons the the bullpen. As bad as the bullpen has been, the real reason for the devastating collapses has been the lack of timely hitting. We've already established the Mets do not do the little things (good defense, taking extra bases) that win games, but even when they get hits, they don't get them at the right times. They don't advance runners. They don't hit sacrifice flies. They leave tons of men on base.

A lot of the improvement needed in that area could be attributed to luck, but whatever it is, it will be the difference in 5 games this season. And those 5 games will be the difference between 93 wins and a division title or 88 wins and another out-of-it October.

NASCAR Rubes Duped

The hicks and bumpkins who watch NASCAR were tricked by an April Fool's prank played by Car & Driver.
The magazine's website said a stipulation of the automakers' bailout required GM and Chrysler to stop participating in NASCAR.
That would mean the end for drivers of the Chevy or Dodge cars.
NASCAR fans freaked out over this and Car & Driver was forced to apologize and admit they may have "gone too far."
Chrysler's spokesman called the prank the most irresponsible thing he's ever seen.
It was a joke, lighten up people.

Josh's Favorite Poker Player

In order to be a successful poker player, you have to be able to tell your opponents a lie and make them believe it.
On a recent "Poker After Dark" Phil Laak says that when he starts playing poker, he just can't stop telling lies. One time he was in a casino and he was starving but when someone asked him if he was hungry and wanted to get something to eat, he said "no thanks, I just ate."

That's How I Want to Rehab

Los Angeles Lakers center Andrew Bynum is catching heat because he was photographed during his rehab at the Playboy Mansion with the incredibly hot Nicole Narain sitting on his shoulder.
This is not a big deal because even with her big ass Narain weighs no more than 120 pounds. Not exactly a strenuous lift for a 280 pound, 7-footer. Even on an injured knee.
Bynum explained his rationale "I got to meet Hugh Hefner. Who wouldn't want to go meet that dude? He talked about how much of a Lakers fan he is and how he is a friend of Dr. Buss. The picture obviously everybody is talking about, when I picked the Playmate up. I don't know. I just wanted to take a shot like that. I wasn't going to be a party-pooper about it."

As someone who has done tons of stupid things so as to avoid being a party-pooper. And as someone who loves black women with big asses, I also understand his motivation in that regard.

But he has to understand that this looks bad. As a guy who always gets hurt, takes forever to come back and has already been accused of not rehabbing seriously this is not the image to portray to the fans and his teammates.

Omar Gets Another Washed-Up Veteran

After an off-season of avoiding the type of reactionary moves that fans love but never actually work out the Mets may have ruined everything by signing Gary Sheffield after he was released by the Tigers.

1) Sheffield sucks right now. Look at his stats over the past three years. He hasn't just been average, he's been bad. And he's 40, what would make the Mets think he can turn it around?
2) He's old, and slow and can't play defense. The Mets refuse to realize the intangibles young players bring. They obviously haven't been watching over the past three years as rallies were killed when the slow-footed Mets grounded into double plays and failed to take extra bases. Adding him to a lineup of Delgado and Schneider and maybe on some days Tatis creates a base-running disaster.
3) The Mets are so stubborn they will stick with Sheffield the entire season no matter how badly he plays because they won't want to admit mistakes.
4) This stunts the growth of the promising Danny Murphy. He could potentially be the solution to the Mets problem with the #2 hole, but this guarantees he'll be sitting almost all the time against lefties this season. It also relegates Fernando Tatis to pinch hitter only. Tatis was better last year than Sheffield has been in any of the last three years. Sure, Tatis is old and injury prone but so is Sheffield.
5) Sheffield was a steroid user. The steroids were keeping him young and in shape, now that he quit (we think) he got old fast.
6) Sheffield is a bad guy. A horrible selfish player. Do you really think he is going to accept playing only against lefties? No way. He's going to cause problems in the clubhouse, a clubhouse with a new manager and devoid of the leadership necessary to handle an asshole like Sheffield.

Song of the Week

"She's Fine (Halle Berry)"
From the gentleman who brought you the classic "Ay Bay Bay" comes another club-banger.



Note: the above video is not the full song but it has clips from Halle Berry movies so I like it.


And here's Halle Berry doing a sexy dance (because she doesn't know any unsexy dances) to the song that invokes her name.

The Impossible Sit-Up

Very few details on this but it looks like it happened in the Detroit Tigers locker room. You tell a rookie he can't do a sit-up with his eyes covered. So you place a towel over his face and goad him into it.
To hilarious results.
But be careful, this video may not be suitable for all workplaces.


Impossible Situp Prank - Watch more Funny Videos

2009 Baseball Season Predictions

You know the drill, make your picks, all the same categories, post them in the comments section, the winner gets recognized at the end of th season.

NL East: New York Mets
NL Central: Chicago Cubs
NL West: Los Angeles Dodgers
NL Wild Card: Philadelphia Phillies

AL East: New York Yankees
AL Central: Cleveland Indians
AL West: Oakland A’s
AL Wild Card: Boston Red Sox

World Series: Chicago Cubs over Boston Red Sox

NL MVP: Pooh Holes
AL MVP: David Ortiz
NL Rookie of the Year: Cameron Maybin
AL Rookie of the Year: Matt LaPorta
NL Cy Young: Johan Santana
AL Cy Young: Felix Hernandez
NL Manager of the Year: Lou Piniella
AL Manager of the Year: Bob Geren
NL Comeback Player of the Year: Barry Zito
AL Comeback Player of the Year: Victor Martinez

April Fool's

Kudos to those of you who caught on to my April Fool's Day Joke. But I don't think any of you specifically noticed the hints, if you had you would have been convinced it's a joke. Not only did I choose 4/1 to make this announcement, check out the time of day I posted this, and go back and read the first two words of every paragraph.

Here's why I did it:

1) I'm a narcissist
2) The enjoyment I get from this blog is the feedback and reaction from all of you. I wanted to see who would react and how, and if anyone would pick up on the hints.
3) Most importantly, pretty much everything I said in that post is true. I have no time to this anymore. It does seem like a chore to me. What I loved about this when I was first doing it is that I was writing the blog I wanted to read. I was posting things in a timely fashion, finding the best pictures to illustrate my story (I hate reading a blog that says "you should have seen this" or "so-and-sos wife is so hot" without the accompanying visual evidence) and I was writing these stories better than the AP or other services and adding my own twisted take on these events. Now all I do is cut and paste directly from the AP, and I do it five days after you've already heard the stories.
4) This post was actually my apology for doing such a crappy job on the Poop lately and a warning that it doesn't seem like the content here will improve, but I trust you'll find it beats the alternative.
5) But, all that being said, I don't plan to ever make an official announcement ending this blog. So much of my life is already recorded in these virtual pages it would be ashame to just let it die. So what I intend is to do the best I can for as long as possible.

We Had a Good Run

Four wonderful years ago (more like three and a half) I decided to start a blog so I could share with the world the same things I was frequently e-mailing to the woman who had recently become Mrs. Poop. Since that time (a few months after our wedding) I got promoted, moved to overnights, had a baby, got fired, got a new job and blogged about all of it. And I think that’s enough.
For one reason or another I’ve put off this day until now.
For one year now – or longer – this blog has been more of an intrusion in my life than a fun hobby. As much as I enjoy doing it – my own personal need to post every good story, as quickly has possible – has become impossible at my new job, with my new schedule. And with my new kid, sitting at the computer pecking away nonsense about cheerleaders and sluts, no longer seems worth the effort. And it wasn’t just my interest that was waning. I’ve noticed that many once loyal Poopheads now only check the blog once a week or less. As hits from strangers looking for cheerleaders pooping went through the roof, hits (and comments) from the people I actually care about, fell off. But I thank you all for reading and participating over the years and for bearing with me over the past few months as this once great blog became a shell of itself.
For one last time, I click publish post – and say goodbye.

Deirdre Wuz Robbed

Mrs. Poop's cousin Deirdre is a very civic minded, and fashion minded person, so the Stiletto Stampede is perfect for her.
As part of Charleston's Fashion Week people get dressed up in crazy costumes and run a 100 meter dash, to raise money for charity.
There was also a prize for best costume, and that's where Deirdre got hosed. Her Octomom get-up was genius, and incredibly accurate to the real Octomom, including those authentic lips.



Deirdre lost to some douche in drag (at right) and even worse, his boots have a thick heel, they're not stilettos at all.

That Was the Game We've Been Waiting For

There's been a lot of complaining during this NCAA tournament about a lack of good, exciting games.
Villanova and Pittsburgh delivered in what will likely go down as the signature game of this tournament.
Villanova jumped out to a big lead, and Pittsburgh slowly fought back.
After that it was a back and forth affair almost the entire time, until Villanova built a 4-point lead with 20 seconds to go.
DaJuan Blair (I was right, third best player on the team) scored to make it 2, then Reggie Redding made the stupidest pass of all-time. All he needs to do there is get the ball in bounds. Instead it's a turnover, then they foul Levance Fields who sinks two free throws to tie it (onions!).
Fortunately for Villanova Scottie Reynolds bailed them out with one of the best coast-to-coast game-winning drives ever.
Pittsburgh blew it when they didn't cut Reynolds off at half-court and force him to give up the ball.

Tom Izzo has taken Michigan State to 5 Final Fours in 14 years at the school. And he does it without bringing in top recruiting classes every year. The guy is a damn good coach.

But I've seen enough shots of a worried Lupe Izzo. Leave the poor woman alone.

Even after Louisville dominated Arizona I still had a feeling Michigan State would beat them. Michigan State can impose their will and force teams out of their game plans. Louisville has trouble scoring in the open court.

UConn is really impressive. I have a strong feeling Jim Calhoun will retire after this season. Wouldn't it be cool if Geno Auriemma took over.

With Ty Lawson back and playing the way he is I don't think anyone can beat North Carolina.

Smoking Smarties

Lots of controversy about this video as this young punk smokes his Smarties and will surely grow up to a life of smoking cigarettes, then weed, then stealing from his mama's purse to pay for his crack habit.
A little ridiculous if you ask me, but I'm not letting Chase watch this, just to be safe.

Good Seats Still Available

Two prime seats right behind home plate at CitiField are available.
Those seats in either the first or second row behind home plate, a section known as Delta Club Platinum, once belonged to Madoff Securities.
Now the trustee for says they are an asset of the firm and should be monetized.
The seats (not sure if there are 2 or 4, maybe more) go for $695 each for platinum games like Opening Day and the games against the Yankees. They cost $595 for gold games, $495 for silver, $395 for bronze, and a steal at $295 for value games.
That comes out to $40,000 per seat for the season.
"They're paid for. They can do with them what they want to," says Mets Executive Vice President David Howard said.

Those Who Forget the Past Are Doomed to Repeat It

"He is doing a terrific job."
-President Obama describing Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner

"Heckuva job Brownie."
-President Bush describing FEMA Managing Director Michael Brown

Both men were terribly mishandling the worst crises (natural disaster and economic) to hit this country in many years, and both Presidents were standing by their man.

ShamWow Guys Punches a Hooker

ShamWow pitchman Vince Shlomi was arrested last month on felony battery charges for allegedly punching a stripper.
Police reports claim Shlomi met 26-year-old prostitute Lenea Harris at a Miami nightclub, and subsequently brought her back to his room at Setai Hotel. Shlomi allegedly paid Harris $1,000 for "straight sex."
That's went things took a turn.
Shlomi told police "that he kissed [Harris] when all of a sudden [Harris] bit his tongue and would not let go."
Shlomi punched Harris several times until she released his tongue, and then ran to the lobby to call police. Harris suffered several cuts and fractures to her face.

Josh is so jealous.

Celeb Sighting

I was walking through the lobby of my building reading my book. When I heard the clomp of high heels walking towards me, I looked up.
I saw a woman in a very short skirt.
When my eyes got up to her face I realized I was about to bump into Ann Coulter.

Pictures of Jim Boeheim Making Stupid Faces vs. Oklahoma

Ok, so maybe that picture wasn't so bad. That's why I've also included this one, look closely.

Blake Griffin is a Douche

What kind of douche bangs his head on the backboard while going up for a dunk?
Fuck Blake Griffin.

He Needs Papa Poop To Do His Taxes For Him

Method Man was going to pay his bills ... but then he got high.

Despite recent reports that the rapper is so broke that his 2008 Lincoln Navigator was repossessed to pay back taxes, Method Man — whose real name is Clifford Smith — insists his cash flow is just fine. In fact, he says, his penchant for marijuana is to blame for the mishap.

Citing the Wu Tang member for being $52,503 in arrears on his personal income taxes, the state Department of Taxation showed up at the Staten Island native’s home at 6 a.m. March 19 with “four NYPD cops and the repo team,” Meth told us. “I knew why they were there. It wasn’t like ‘Oh my God! Noo!! Don’t take it!’ like it is on that TV show [“Operation Repo”]. I was half-dressed, and it was so early that I just said, ‘Okay, you’re taking the truck. ... Aight.’”

The back story, according to the rapper, is simple.

“Myself, I’m a pothead,” he said on the set of a video shoot for his new album, “Blackout 2,” with Redman. “It’s no secret. Everyone knows that. I go on the road and forget everything else. Sure, [the tax department] sent letters to my house saying, ‘We need this money.’ They started sending them in 2002.

Here it is, 2009, and I never paid this s— because I don’t think like that!”

“I could have easily just written them a check for whatever amount, but no — I waited until they knocked on this door and were like, ‘We got your truck and we outta here,’ ” he laughed.

“Now I’m thinking we’ve gotta get our truck back, which means I have to get all my paperwork together,” the rapper continued. “That means days of going through mail, ’cause I got mail like woah.

I’ve found checks from 2005 that have never been opened yet. And we’re talking a significant amount of money! But I never opened [the tax department’s] letters ... so this is how the tax man came to Meth’s house and took his truck. Not because I was broke! I got plenty of money!”

When we referenced the famous Afroman song “Because I Got High,” Method Man just laughed.
“Exactly!” he said. “Because I got high, I forgot to pay. It was stupid. I’m an idiot for that.”

Syracuse vs. Oklahoma

Oklahoma 84 Syracuse 71
The game wasn't even that close, a complete embarrassment for Syracuse.
The reason Syracuse lost this game is because they had a horrible shooting night and played no defense. I don't blame Flynn's injury, the rout was already underway. I don't even blame Boeheim but it's so frustrating to see a team get killed because the opponent is just tearing up the 2-3 zone, and this coach who is supposedly so great, will never ever ever ever ever try something else. What if he had gone to man at the beginning of the second half? Would they have lost by 30? If so, big deal. Oklahoma was tearing up the zone, it wasn't working, but the great Boeheim stuck with it.

The sad part about this is I really like this team. They just weren't good enough to beat top teams, they lost to UConn, Pitt and Louisville, but they were getting better and had no seniors among their key guys. But Flynn is definitely leaving and Paul Harris will probably leave too because Boeheim hates him and rides him so hard. That's one of the worst parts about college basketball today from a fan's perspective, you don't get to enjoy the good players because they leave too soon.

:30 left
Oklahoma had 14 offensive rebounds, 8 by Griffin.

1:29 left
Great game by Flynn. He's a near perfect point guard, but don't believe that guard play wins in the tournament. Good big men will beat good little guys every time.

2:07 left
I would have chosen Spaghetti Jimmy too. How cute is that?

2:07 left
They made a brief run but now they're not even trying. They are letting Oklahoma get every rebound and loose ball. I won't say they don't have heart because they've shown they do. But they definitely quit on this one.

4:47 left
That chick behind Griffin's parents has big tits. I wonder if Griffin is banging her.

7:53 left
I love Jonny Flynn but why does he keep trying to dunk? I remember at least three times this year he missed like that.

10:19 left
23 point deficit, 10 minutes to go. That's what they call insurmountable. Oklahoma has made 9 of 16 3s.

15:43 left
Too bad Louisville is demolishing Arizona or they'd switch games and we wouldn't have to suffer anymore.

15:43 left
Devendorf gets layups block far too often.
Oklahoma is shooting 86% on their last 14 attempts. I guess that 2-3 zone isn't confusing them.

16:56 left
Oklahoma is socring every single time they have the ball. Any other coach might try changing up the defense but Boeheim is in the Hall of Fame. he must know what he's doing.

18:10 left
Great halftime speech and adjustments from the Hall of Fame Coach Jim Boeheim.

18:21 left
After Flynn cut it to one at 18-17, Oklahoma went on a 28-9 run.

20:00 left
SU is going to need to play its best second half of the season to win this game. And they might have to do it without Jonny Flynn who busted his ass when he got run over by Blake Griffin. Discretion is the better part of valor Jonny.

Halftime
About as bad a first half as you could possibly imagine for Syracuse. They played good defense for a while then Oklahoma picked apart the zone. And the shooting was just awful. 0 for 10 from 3, they will not win like that.
Unless they somehow get hot I have very little hope for a comeback.

:53 left
We do not need Jonny Flynn trying to take charges on Blake Griffin.

1:59 left
What a save by Andy ruatins. If he's not hitting shots he needs to find other ways to contribute.

2:40 left
Jonny Flynn and Rick Jackson are the only guys playing well and trying to do anything. Arinze Onuaku is playing terribly. He keeps turning the ball over, he refuses to take it up strong. What happened to that guy?

3:26 left
Syracuse is 0 for 8 from 3-point land. They have no chance to win if that keeps up.

5:13 left
Oklahoma just got about 5 shots on that possession. SU cannot allow that, though I think a foul should have been called when Flynn ran into that guy.

5:54 left
Is anyone else experiencing problems with the signal? My picture keeps shaking and there's like static at the top of the screen.

6:55 left
Jonny Flynn starting to percolate. Great play by him. He recognized the mismatch, drove it twice then got some room for his jump shot. Three straight baskets by him. Beautiful, heady leadership from Flynn. Btw, I was so furious at Sports Illustrated for their regional cover gimmick because I got the one with Levance Fields. Thankfully someone at work gets it but never reads it so I stole one with Flynn on the cover.

9:50 left
You cannot save the ball under your opponents' basket. Terrible play.

10:15 left
Syracuse picked a bad team to into a teamwide shooting slump. They couldn't make any progress with Griffin on the bench because they missed everything.

11:57 left
Rarely do you see a guy wear a long sleeve shirt under his jersey. Wouldn't you think he gets a little sweaty?

14:37 left
Nightmare start for the Orange. Most possessions they aren't even getting a shot off. And when they do they miss it. This team cannot afford to get far behind.

15:37 left
Jackson and Onuaku can't catch. They've dropped passes, rebounds everything. If they don't start playing better on offense, Syracuse is going to get killed. They need to make Griffin play some defense, wear him down at worst and get him in foul trouble at best.

16:54 left
Two awful possessions, one by each team. A lazy Devendorf gets blocked from behind, then Blake Griffin knocks his own guy over.

17:15 left
Great pass and strong dunk. First basket, we can sit down and stop clapping now.

19:00 left
One minute, 2 possessions, 2 turnovers, 1 3-pointer allowed.

19:36 left
"Here's a look at Jim Boeheim." Not even 30 seconds and we get our first stupid face.

It's Jim Nantz and Clark Kellogg calling this game. I hope to hear Clark say "the Orange need to squeeze the Orange." Or maybe he can say Andy Rautins has a "game like a baby's bottom -- soft but explosive."

In the tournament they say good guard play usually wins out. Syracuse has a definite advantage in that category. Willie Warren is good but Jonny Flynn is better. And with Devendorf playing in control, he gives Syracuse a dimension Oklahoma does not have.
But the problem for Syracuse will be Blake Griffin. SU has to adjust the zone a little bit to match up with him. They can't wait for him to catch the ball in close position before defending him. They also have to be very conscious of him or he will get 10 offensive rebounds. SU consistently allows opponents 20 offensive rebounds, if that happens tonight, they will lose.

Don't forget to get involved by posting your thoughts on the game in the comments section.

A Paul's Poop Special Event

Please join me tonight as I live blog the Syracuse-Oklahoma game.
We had some success with this on Sunday during the Arizona State game, but I'd love to have more participation from you guys in the comments section. And by you guys I mean everyone except VW.