Tournament Thoughts - Early Friday

We start day 2 with Kansas and New Mexico State. Kansas is the two seed a lot of people think is ripe for an upset. But I think they're good, just played a tough schedule.

Not much to comment on from Kansas's blowout.

Sim Bhullar's brother, Tanveer is 7'3" 355 lbs and hardly plays. He did make both his shots.

Every year I pick Michigan State. Some years they let me down, but they usually always play well and Coach Izzo always makes good decisions late in games. Ok, not always, but they had a big enough lead to hold on.

A couple of Michigan State players have nice sneakers, kind of remind me of mint chocolate chip ice cream.

Wyoming has Larry Nance Jr. that's a sure sign of aging, when you start to watch the kids of players you used to watch.

Northern Iowa looks good. Lots of guys who can knock down shots. Have I mentioned I picked them to make the Final Four? Go make me proud Panthers.

Great run by Wyoming to cut a 21-point deficit. UNI helped them out by shooting quick 3s. Larry Nance Jr got hot. He's 6'8" and can shoot. Maybe he'll get a luck from an NBA team.

Kurt Warner representing Northern Iowa!

In the Christian Laettner 30 for 30 Bobby Hurley was 18 and he looked 10. Now he's about 40 and looks like 50.

So there will be no 12-5 upset this year, despite a couple close calls.

Buffalo had so many chances but could just never seize the lead. That's why size matters, WVU got that huge offensive rebound that gave them another possession, which turned into the back-breaking 3-pointer.

So Belmont couldn't pull off the upset but they did give us one of those nice moments where an underdog makes a run and they showed the guys in the bench in warmups going nuts.

The winner of this year's Coach Memorial You Can't Teach Height Award is UC-Irvine's 7-foot-6 center Mamadou Ndaiye. There used to be a guy of the same name who played at Auburn and briefly in the NBA.

Terrible end of game performance for UC Irvine. Wasted an entire possession with a tie game, committed a dumb foul in the corner and then couldn't even get a shot to tie the game.

It's just crazy that practically every single close game goes against the team I picked.
Purdue, Buffalo, Wofford, UC Irvine, LSU, SMU. All of them had good chances to win, and I lost every single one of those games.

Maryland holds off Valpo. Drews are now 0-2 in this tournament.

All the 4s and 5s survived, pretty sure that has never happened before. Now onto the final session of the best two days of the years.

Tournament Thoughts - Late Thursday

That battle of Pennsylvania never materialized. Villanova took it to Lafayette. And they looked good doing it. But those of us who have Nova exiting early shouldn't panic. Plenty of teams dominated in round 1, and lost in round 2.

Note: Until they got to 96 teams I will not call the playing games the first round. I'm becoming an old fart. Or I resist shill marketing. You make up your own mind.

Utah is coached by Larry Krystowiak, one of The Concierge's favorite players.

Basil Smotherman definitely leading the all-name team so far this tournament.

Octavius Ellis ejected for Cincinnati. Deservedly so. Brutal cheapshot forearm under the chin of AJ Hammons.

Purdue picked a good time to get hot from 3. Started 1-18, hit 3 of next 4.

But once again no such thing as momentum. Quick basket for Cincy, a turnover on a ball batted off the fingertips and reversed on review, then a hard take to the basket for an and-1. But you have to just get out of the way there. A 2-point lead and the ball with 39 seconds left is pretty strong. Can't risk fouling, especially because the shot could miss.

No whistles at the end of this game. But I like the no call. I don't like rewarding an offensive player for running recklessly into a defender.

Damn that was an exciting shot. Buzzer off, shot up, rolling around the rim. It actually took long enough to process all that. Another overtime game.

Exciting overtime considering no one could make a shot, lent itself to some up and down action though. In games this close those little things that happen throughout the course of the game, the missed free throws, the bad passes, the defensive lapses, determine the winner and loser.

I really enjoy watching the Ivy League teams play. The always give a solid effort. And they usually keep it close through ball movement and good outside shooting.

I really enjoy Andrew Catalon as an announcer. He does the Olympic curling but is getting more high profile assignments.

Wow, what a finish. North Carolina just made the plays to hold off Harvard. A great game though, both teams played well and made plays instead of some other games that stayed close because of ineptitude.

Ty Charles of Stephen F Austin made Mrs. Poop's All-Hair team.

She also likes their neon shoes.

Valiant effort by Stephen F. Austin but good job by Utah to hold them off.

If I were friends with Thomas Walkup I would call him 5th floor.

Average height of Kentucky starters: 6'9"
Average height of Hampton starters: 6'3"

They look like men vs. boys out there.

Chase picked NC State to the make the Final Four because their red S looks like Syracuse's orange one. I actually changed his bracket and put Providence in the Final Four instead. He's going to be so happy in the morning.

Great comeback attempt by NC State. They fell in love with the 3 just a little too much but LSU absolutely handed the game to them by missing 6 free throws in a row. This is the distinction I make between a great game and a close, exciting one. This was not a good game, poorly played, miscues galore, but a thrilling finish.

I guarantee LSU's players will be thinking about that one for a while.

Ok, now on to Wofford, one my of 2 12 over 5 picks this year. They just look like a spunky underdog. And they seem to have quite a bit of support in Jacksonville. That is only about 5 hours from campus. And if you're a Wofford alum you probably don't get a better chance to see your team in the tournament.

Great exchange, Qualls throws down a monster dunk to give Arkansas a 1-point lead. Before he can even mean mug for the cameras, Wofford nails a 3 to retake the lead. Dunks, no matter how loud, ferocious or spectacular are still only worth 2 points.

The only reason Wofford did not pull off that upset is because they shot too may 3s, and missed the last 6 they took in the game. They needed to try to get the ball to the basket especially those possessions where they had a 1 or 2 or 3 point lead. And that last possession they basically held for a 3 to tie. I know Arkansas played good D on them, but they should have tried to get a bucket and foul.

Georgetown has a guy named Mikael Hopkins. I feel like I have mentioned this before. But it doesn't seem I did.

A great first day of games with some monumental upsets, two overtime games, and 5 games deciding by exactly 1 point, a new single day tournament record.

Days like this are the reason I love the Big Dance. Even though I can't pick a bracket for shit.

Tournament Thoughts - Early Thursday

It's very rare you see Notre Dame being the more athletic team on the floor. Usually they just have a bunch of slow white guys who can shoot.

I don't have a lot of confidence in Northeastern after hearing their coach fell off the Al Skinner coaching tree.

UAB just seems nervous. Shooting terribly, dropping passes. They likely won't be able to come back if they fall into a huge hole against Iowa St.

Fred Hoiberg doesn't age.

UAB did withstand that initial punch from Iowa State and got back into the game by grabbing a lot of offensive rebounds, which is easier when you miss a ton of shots.

The downside of Greg Anthony's prostitution arrest: all the announce teams got shuffled, Verne and Raf got separated so did Ian Eagle and Jim Spanarkel. Eagle and Spanarkel were the longest running team, at 17 years.

I hate cliches like "they wanted it more" but UAB is trying a lot harder, running faster, boxing out more than Iowa State.

Terrible late game strategy by Notre Dame. Up 6 under 3 to go and Jerian Grant holds the ball for 30 seconds and chucks up a bad three. Then they fall asleep on defense and allow Northeastern an easy backdoor bucket. The luck of the Irish certainly with them. They tried to blow this game. Why throw an 80-foot pass? Someone come to the ball! But they played great defense in the final possession with a 2-point lead and that was good enough to hold on.

When Niang passes and gets other people involved Iowa State's offense works great. When he gets the ball and shoots it without passing, it doesn't work for them. He doesn't have the hot hand in this game, other teammates particularly Thomas do, but he doesn't seem to recognize that. He finished 4-15 from the field (pitiful considering most were within 10 ft) with 3 turnovers.

So that's the first big upset of the tournament. A lot of people had Iowa State going to the Final Four. I had them losing to SMU on Saturday so this actually works out pretty well for me.

Georgia State's coach looks so silly rolling along the sideline on a stool.

I have no idea why Georgia State chose to slow the pace. They had the ball up 1, slowed it down and it all went to shit. They were pressuring Baylor and forcing turnovers and then they stopped, and Baylor went on a 10-0 run.

Georgia State has Kevin Ware. Surely you remember his gruesome injury from when he was with Louisville 2 years ago.

Funny thing, when Baylor got the lead, they tried to sit on it, and GSU went off, especially the coach's son.

And bang, there you have it. The first big ONIONS!!!!! moment of the tournament. Incredible shot by Hunter, the coach's son, knocking dad off his stool. Incredible. If he hadn't hurt himself after the conference title game he would have done it after this one. Amazing. That's why we love the tournament.

Two No. 14 seeds won in the same tournament only twice, in 1986 (Arkansas-Little Rock over Notre Dame, Cleveland State over Indiana) and 1995 (Weber State over Michigan State, Old Dominion over Villanova).

This Butler-Texas game seems to me to be one of those overachieving hard-working teams that plays good basketball against an undisciplined underachieving team with lots of talent. But I prefer talent which is why I have Texas winning this one.

Larry Brown is going to die on the sideline. He does not look well. He's only three years older than Boeheim. Is that what we have to look forward to in year 3? A decrepit corpse on the sideline?

What a comeback by SMU! That little guy Nick Moore was awesome. 19-0 run!

I never believe in momentum and these games often prove it. Teams get their doors blown off for a few minutes, then hit a couple shots and of the sudden they have all the "momentum." If it's that transient it probably doesn't mean anything at all.

Bryce Alford on fire. It is a good day to be a coach's son.

Oh what a terrible ending to a great game. Very hard to say but I don't think that was goaltending. What a terrible finish to a very exciting game. SMU was in this cage of their own creation though, with a very bad turnover when they should have been sealing the victory.

It always figures that the team everyone is criticizing about their bid is the one that wins a game, and now they have a very good chance to make the Sweet 16.

It seems like D'Angelo Russell is going to be a very high pick in the NBA. And he certainly is a very good player but it seems to me a lot of these athletic wings types have been busts in the NBA.

That was a vicious elbow to Russell's face. It should have been a flagrant 1, excessive contact, but because it wasn't intentional it didn't rise to the level of a flagrant 2. They got one right, huge turn of events.

VCU gave that game away. Way too many mistakes, bad turnovers, ill-advised shots.

But an overtime game was an exciting way to end the first session of games.

I'll Believe It When I See It

Jim Boeheim announced this morning that he will retire in 3 years.
That seems like a really long transition period to me. Maybe he can say he didn't want his hand-picked predecessor Mike Hopkins to take over amidst the turmoil and sanctions from the NCAA.
But this also gives Boeheim way too much time to change his mind.
I do not trust him but I guess this gives him time to remove the stain of this latest ugly incident from being the last thing people remember about him.
But if he didn't want it to appear as if he were forced out, why not wait a year or two to announce this?
This doesn't give him enough time to recoup the 108 wins he lost, so he will never get to 1,000.

So he turns the program over to Mike Hopkins who has been on the staff for 20 years, and been the designated coach-in-waiting for at least the last five.
I am not sure what kind of coach Hopkins will be. Will he just be a Boeheim clone and do everything exactly the same? Will he try to put his own stamp on the program? Will he follow his mentor and teach one defense and employ one strategy no matter the circumstances? Or will he be a real coach who prepares his players for different opponents and adapts his scheme to the strength of his team.

I don't know the answers to any of these questions, but I'm looking forward to finding out.

In three years.

Hopefully after Boeheim goes out on a high note of back-to-back-to-back National Championships.

Song of the Week

"Both Sides Now" - Carly Rae Jepsen
I can't believe my favorite Canadian pop cutie did a cover of one of my favorite songs ever, and I never knew about it. Maybe because her version isn't that great. It certainly doesn't measure up to Neil Diamond's (SOTW, 12/27/06).
It's hard to make the same song SOTW twice, but this is so worth it.

The Other Orange

For those of you Syracuse fans who are disenchanted by the NCAA Tournament this year because Syracuse isn't it, I have some advice for you: watch the women! Women are people too!
Under the guidance of Coach Quentin Hillsman the program has made great strides towards respectability, earning its first tournament win last year and threatening to earning its higher seed ever until a first round loss to 13-20 Wake Forest in the ACC Tournament.
That loss knocked Syracuse down to a number 8 seed and a first round matchup with Nebraska on Friday at 7:30 PM ET.
If Syracuse wins they'll likely earn a rematch with South Carolina and superfrosh A'ja Wilson. The teams played in November in the Bahamas and SU narrowly lost (one of 6 losses to top 15 teams). But this time because of the women's tournament structure, it will be a home game for the Gamecocks.
But as a true fan of the Orange I hope you all will support the women's team as they try to carry the banner for the school this year.

Bracket Breakdown

The overriding theme of this year's tournament is Kentucky. Will they win the tournament, go 40-0 and stake their claim as the best team ever? The answer is yes. Kentucky is going to win. If this tournament were run in a billion different Universes concurrently I like Kentucky to win 80% of those. So when filling out your bracket you have to ask yourself if you want to take a big chance, and go for the win, or do you want pick Kentucky and battle it out with everyone else on the other 57 games.

I will be picking Kentucky!

Now on to the other teams that might have a chance if Kentucky falters.

I like Duke a little better this year. They have interior toughness this time and in a crapshoot like the tournament can be, I don't expect them to get knocked out early for the third time in 4 years.

This is the best Gonzaga team possibly ever. Their arc started as a Cinderella, and then when they finally got high seedings they never reached those expectations. This is their year to make the Final Four, beating Duke in a thrilling regional final.

Wisconsin is the only other team I could see beating Kentucky. Watching Kaminsky go against Towns and Cauley-Stein in the Final Four will be awesome, and probably the de facto National Championship.

I think the East regional (going through the Carrier Dome) is the most wide open. I don't have much faith in Villanova or Virginia and I could definitely see that one going to a surprise team like Northern Iowa or even Michigan State.

I think Kansas got royally screwed by getting lumped in with Kentucky. I think they are better than Virginia, and playing the nation's toughest schedule should count for something. They went 9-5 against top 30 teams for heaven's sake, including a loss to Kentucky. I think a 2 seed is right for them, but I don't think they were 8th best.

Now to the bottom of the bracket. Texas and UCLA should not have made the tournament. Temple and Richmond were more deserving. Temple was the last team left out according to head of the committee. Texas I can forgive because they play in what is toughest conference in the country but the Pac-12 is putrid and UCLA beat no one all year.
And to compound the issue, each of those teams got a free pass to the first round. And poor Boise State gets screwed again having to play Dayton on its home floor. The committee could have avoided two controversies by swapping Dayton and UCLA here.

Now on to some upsets. A lot of people are picking Stephen F. Austin but Cinderellas rarely do it two years in a row. I don't see Northern Iowa getting upset in the first round. So for a 5/12 upset it's either Wofford over Arkansas or Buffalo over West Virginia. I would tend to pick against the team from the weaker conference but I haven't made up my mind.

I'm also watching Cal-Irvine over Louisville as a first round upset.

I'm really looking forward to all the 7-10 games this year especially VCU vs. Ohio State as some of these teams are very live dogs in the second round.

More thoughts coming throughout the week. Stay tuned and please join the tournament challenge group on ESPN.com, The Poop, as always. And maybe we'll all do better than we did last year.

Song of the Week

"Post To Be" - Omarion featuring Chris Brown and Jhene Aiko
This song has two strikes against it 1) it features woman-batterer Chris Brown and 2) it changes "supposed to be" into "post to be", but it also has a lot going for it 1) Omarion of B2K fame and 2) a sample of reggae classic "Murder She Wrote."

Near-Death Experience

There's an old joke about the baseball player who said he missed a home run by an inch. The listener asks "oh it hit the top of the fence" and the ballplayer replies "no, it missed my bat by an inch."
Similarly, I missed death or serious injury by an inch or two on the way to work a couple weeks ago.
The road wasn't particularly damp and I don't think it was raining or snowing at the time, but I came upon some sudden traffic, and the car in front of me braked suddenly, and I did the same, not jamming my brakes, and not getting anywhere near the car in front of me, when I hear a horrible screeching sound behind me. I looked in my rear-view mirror and saw a van skidding towards me (on a 3-lane road I was in the left, he was skidding between left and center, and the center laners were moving to the right lane to avoid him.)
I watched and listened and braced for impact, but he finally came to a stop, at a 20 degree angle, in both lanes, inches from my rear bumper.
Strange feeling sitting there watching a potentially serious accident come skidding towards you with nothing to do but wait and hope.
Thankfully it worked out fine, but my heart was beating pretty fast for the next few minutes.

World's Oldest Person Curse

This is Misao Okawa. She is about to fall victim to a curse worse than the Sports Illustrated cover jinx.

At 117 she is now the world's oldest person. That's because the previous world's oldest person died. Same thing happened to the one before that, and the one before that and you get the picture. Being named the world's oldest person is a curse. They're dropping like flies, usually within a short period after getting the title, they pass it on the next poor schlub who should being writing a will.

Here are some facts about her:
She was born in 1898
She has 3 kids, 4 grandchildren and 6 great-grandchildren
Her son is in his 90s
She has been a widow for nearly 84 years

Upon Further Review

I was able to find out more about the charges against Syracuse and Jim Boeheim that lead to some serious penalties.
And I haven't changed my mind one bit.
There are three majors things here:
1) A rogue employee of the YMCA had tremendous access to the players and there is good reason to believe he paid them, but at the very least they got credit for internships they didn't fulfill, and the University didn't take enough steps to make sure they did
2) Players had work done for them. One example says a player wrote a paper which fell short of the class requirements, but eventually handed in one that met those requirements, and that paper was found on the computer of a tutor
3) Players failed drug tests and nothing was done about it

That is a gross over-simplificiation but I figure if you cared enough you have already read this comprehensive summary and if you don't care enough, my above bullets are enough to get you to understand.

Based on those findings I understand why the NCAA had to deem players ineligible and dock the scholarships, but what is standing out to some people is the unprecedented 9-game suspension of head coach Jim Boeheim.

"...in his interview the head basketball coach acknowledged that he had student-athletes test positive and rather than call the student-athletes' parents, he brought the student-athletes in and talked to them. When questioned why he did not call the parents, the head basketball coach responded that the director of athletics did not require him to follow the policy and, in at least in some instances, "it would have been fruitless." At the hearing, the head basketball coach also admitted that he did not call the parents because his director of athletics told him he did not have to and he did not know that failing to follow the policy violated NCAA rules."

Here is what I gather and it seems totally plausible to me: Coach Boeheim didn't like the rules, he didn't follow the rules, he didn't think he needed to follow the rules and when questioned about it he said he didn't even know what he did violated the rules.

And he probably was rude and dismissive to the investigators.

If you're the NCAA, and you're going to bother playing whack-a-mole with this kind of stuff, you have to come down hard on Syracuse and Coach Boeheim. If you don't you look even more feckless than most people thought you were.

In summary, Syracuse committed a long list of violations over an extended period of time. They tried to blame it on outside individuals and dismissed former employees, but the University, the athletic department and especially Coach Boeheim showed little or no inclination to follow the rules, so how else to make them (and all the other schools doing the same thing) take the rules more seriously in the future, but him them with severe penalities?

Syracuse Gets Whacked

The NCAA finally coming down hard on Syracuse after a lengthy investigation into alleged infractions dating back more than 10 years.

Jim Boeheim will be suspended for the first 9 conference games of next season
The team will lose 12 scholarships over several years
SU must return money earned for participating in the 2011, 2012 and 2013 NCAA tournaments
SU has to vacate 108 wins for using ineligible players

That last one is the biggie. That really hurts Boeheim and adds and extra 4 years (at least) to his quest for 1,000 wins.

The violations included academic misconduct, extra benefits, failure to follow the drug-testing policy, and impermissible booster activity.

Other violations included impermissible academic assistance and services, Boeheim's failure to promote an atmosphere of compliance and monitor his staff, and the school's lack of control over its athletics program.

Do I believe that? Absolutely I do. It is not hard to imagine Boeheim sitting in his office and being above it all instead of monitoring what's going on. It's the same thing Joe Paterno did and Penn State and Pete Carroll did at USC. It's better not to know, and frankly they don't care. They just hope they don't get caught.

I hate Jim Boeheim because I don't think he is a good coach, and more importantly because I think he acts like an arrogant asshole. It sucks that school, the current players and the fans will be punished because a few individuals didn't do their jobs.

Hopefully this will hasten Boeheim's retirement instead of lengthen his career in pursuit of a milestone accomplishment.

Why I Created the "Typical Yankees Fan" Tag

Curt Schilling tweeted congratulations to his daughter Gabby for getting accepted to Salve Regina University in Newport, Rhode Island where she will be playing softball.

As usual, the trolls had to chime in, two in particular. Hollywood (@primetime227) and The Sports Guru (@Nagels_Bagels) went back in forth with a series of vile tweets about her.

"Teach me your knuckleball technique so I can shove my first in your daughter."

"I'm sure she can fit a nice Easton in there as well for some DP."

"Curt bleeds more from his sock than Gabby does from her pussy when she's on her period."

"Curt rocked the mullet- business in front, part in back...Gabby prefers the party in the back. #ButtStuff2015"

Even though the last one is kind of funny, those are still terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad things to say -- about someone's daughter -- in a public forum -- fully intending for the target of the comments to read them.

To Schilling's credit he posted the entire thing on his blog and really went after them.

And in the end, he taught them an important lessons about trolling and consequences.

Adam Nagel has been suspended by Brookdale Community College.

"Hollywood" Sean MacDonald was a part-time ticket seller for the Yankees. He isn't anymore. The Yankees fired him immediately saying they "have zero tolerance for anything like this."

Song of the Week

"Touching Me" - The Ovations
Lead singer Louis Williams may be the one person who is a bigger Sam Cooke fan than I am. Williams clearly modeled his vocal style after Cooke's so much so that the first time I ever heard this song I thought for sure this was an unknown Cooke b-side I had never heard before.
The Ovations biggest hit was a remake of Cooke's "Having a Party."
Also the vamp at the beginning of this song sounds a lot like the one in Cooke's "Good Times."

In God's Hands

Former Knicks forward Anthony Mason passed away this morning from congestive heart failure.
Mason was a mainstay on the great Knicks teams from the early-90s, where along with Charles Oakley he ushered in a bruising style of defense to the NBA.
He was best known for having phrases shaved into his hair including "In God's Hands."

He was also immortalized in the 1994 rallying song "Go NY Go NY Go" "oh rebounds if that's the case we put Oakley and Mase in your face!"

Song of the Week

"Doo Doo" - Troy Ave
I like this upbeat ditty but I worked that people will pronounce it like DOOdoo (as in poop) as opposed to two separate happy notes. Although based on the lyrics maybe the title is intended to have a double meaning.

Two Big Reasons to Watch Dancing With the Stars This Season

Model Charlotte McKinney who was billed by some as the heir apparent to Kate Upton (it's apparent why) is headlining the latest Dancing with the Stars cast. I trust double-sided tape will be prominently involved.



Here are the other 10 "stars" she will be competing against, and I use that term loosely.

Suzanne Somers
Patti LaBelle
Michael Sam
Nastia Liukin
Robert Herjavec
Willow Shields
Rumer Willis
Redfoo
Riker Lynch
Noah Galloway
Charlotte McKinney

I'm Cured

Several years ago I was diagnosed with a peanut allergy, but I continued to eat peanuts, and only occasionally did I experience even a mild reaction. And even that hasn't happened in many years of eating Snickers and peanut M&Ms.
I have told Mrs. Poop and Poppy that I think I cured myself by slowly introducing small amounts to my system and they said I was nuts (pun intended). Basically that's what allergy shots do, give you a small dose of the allergen so your system can deal with it.
Maybe I am not as crazy as you thought. A new article in the Wall Street Journal says a new study contradicts everything we've been told about when to introduce peanuts to children. In fact, the study says, delaying exposure to peanuts may actually lead to those kids developing peanut allergies.

"The new study...found that 17.2% of the children who avoided peanuts until age 5 ended up with a peanut allergy compared with 3.2% of those who regularly ate peanuts..."

I strongly recommend reading the entire article to understand the study's methodology and how 14% of kids who initially showed no reaction to peanuts on the prick test (no that's not a JLeary test, different kind of prick) developed a peanut allergy when all they did was avoid eating peanuts.

Note: I am not a doctor and even if I were I wouldn't recommend force-feeding your infant a jar of peanut butter because in rare cases it could result in death by anaphylaxis.

Superman That --- OH!!!

The Superman punch is a rarely used technique in MMA. It starts as a sort of fake kick, and morphs into an overhand punch that seldom works. But it worked to perfection for Matt Dwyer who used to it KTFO William Macario.



You know the guy is out when he falls face first to the mat. Very slow stoppage by the ref, exposing Macario to four or five extra punches, punches Dwyer seemed reluctant to throw.

This one definitely goes down as one of my favorites in UFC history.

3000 Words

An old man finds giant 6-foot spiderweb in front of his garage. Claims spider did it overnight.

Dirtiest car ever?

Note: this was actually in the parking lot at my office. I thought someone was pulling a Costanza and pretending to sleep at the office, but there were no fliers under the windshield wipers.

I had to try the old hooded-sweatshirt popcorn holder gag.

Song of the Week

"Three Little Birds" - Bob Marley
I guess I never thought about it too much, but I just learned the song's real title.

What Do You Give Me For? Chase and Leon Spinks

Chase got head-butted by Diesel jarring out what was already a very loose front tooth. That image, along with the hooded sweatshirt he was wearing called to mind this famous picture.

Now You Can See Hannah Davis's Pussy

After all the controversy because we could almost see Hannah Davis's pussy on her Sports Illustrated cover, now we can. Building off the success of their Rob Lowe campaign DirecTV hired 3 models to star in their own version of the ads.

Here's hot, normal Hannah Davis

And now here's Cat Lady Hannah Davis

Now I doubt they knew there would be a huge controversy over Davis's "cat" when they shot this ad campaign, but it certainly is a happy coincidence.

Here's Chrissy Teigen

And Mom Jeans Chrissy Teigen

And finally, Nina Agdal

And Lunch Lady Nina Agdal

I like how they kept fidelity to the original pose and just changed everything else to make the pictures incredibly different.

I won't even bother with a WYB? on these because I know the answers are still 3 resounding yeses but in order of preference, I still think Mom Jeans Chrissy is kind of hot, Cat Lady Hannah is a little scary but Lunch Lady Nina is the worst.

Song of the Week

"Come On Down" - Crystal Waters
I was trying to find a song that samples "The Price is Right" theme and believe it or not there were quite a few to choose from.

Did Hannah Davis Fire a Shot at Kate Upton?

The incredibly hot Hannah Davis has had to spend the past few days answering questions about the photo of her on the cover of the 2015 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue where she is pulling her bikini bottom down so low, her clit is practically poking out.

After being pelted with questions about her almost-showing vagina, Davis came up with a pat answer "I think SI always tries to do something a little different every year, and I think this year, it’s the year of the torso.”

So this year is about torsos, and that's different than the last few years?

I think Davis might be subtly pointing out that Kate Upton is all boobs and her stomach is not flat, at least by bikini model standards.

Maybe she is jealous of Upton's ample blessings (not that Davis is flat-chested by any means) and the success she gotten because of them.

Maybe she just meant SI was going in a different direction, just to be different.

Or maybe I am reading too much into this. But I kind of like the idea of a Davis-Upton catfight.

Four Little Nuggets

This is the Bio-Bus which operates in England. It seats 40 people and runs on biomethane gas "generated through the treatment of sewage and food waste that's unfit for human consumption."
The waste is processed over 12 to 18 days through a process of anaerobic digestion. The result is a biogas rich in methane. This biogas is further processed before being upgraded to be the same composition as natural gas.

You can also donate your poop (I tried really hard to find out if this was a hoax, but if it is no one has caught on yet). Something called OpenBiome says poop transplants work to for people who have something called C. difficile by introducing new bacteria to their large intestines, via their rectums.
They are offering $13,000 a year for people who can commit to make a solid donation 5 days a week. But you have to live in Medford, Massachusetts, meet some other requirements and be able to go to their lab everyday. As perfect as this job sounds for me, I don't think I have the time.

But I do have the time, and the need, to poop at work occasionally, so this video came in handy:



And though NBC cut away from it just in time, those in the stadium caught Doug Baldwin fake-pooping the football during his touchdown celebration at the Super Bowl.

Stories suggested by Master Bates and Mrs. Poop

Timing is Everything

Syracuse imposed sanctions on itself, meaning the men's basketball team will not play in the postseason this year.
The timing of this is pretty good as the team was not likely to make the NCAA Tournament and had a significant chance of missing the NIT as well.
So far this season SU is 6-3 in the ACC but 4 of those wins came against teams with only one conference win and 5 games against top 10 teams remain (Louisville, Virginia, Notre Dame and Duke twice).
So Syracuse elected to take the minor pain now and hope to avoid more serious sanctions when the team is better next year.
The victim here is Rakim Christmas who obviously was not involved in any of the behavior being punished, all of which happened before 2012, and some of which dates back to 2007.
Although it hasn't yet been made abundantly clear what violations SU is telling on itself for.
How does this make me feel as an alumnus and ardent supporter of the team? Kind of bad.
Unfortunately, every single major program breaks the rules. I guess there's a kind of moral relativism in me being willing to accept misdemeanors, so long as there aren't recruiting or payment "felonies" included in this.

Friends Forever

Jimmy Fallon reunited the cast of "Saved By the Bell" and I know it's really hard to find on the internet so I decided to post it here.



I guess Lark Voorhees was busy and Screech didn't make parole.

At Least I Did Better Than CJ Fair

CJ Fair drew this picture of Otto for ESPN last year.

I drew this picture of Otto for my kids last week.

Song of the Week

"Cecilia" - Simon & Garfunkel
So Cecilia was pretty much a big slut, wasn't she?

Greg Anthony's Hooker Habit Is Our Gain

When CBS's Greg Anthony got arrested and subsequently suspended for trying to hire a hooker to his hotel room, I remarked that the story's details were unremarkable.
But it has led to something quite extraordinary: Bill Raftery will take Anthony's place and call the Final Four this year.
I'm hoping for a close game so we can hear something like this:



Or maybe someone will throw down a nasty dunk:

If Mike Tyson Were a Groundhog

Jimmy, the official groundhog in Sun Prairie, Wisconsin bit the mayor's ear during a Groundhog Day celebration.
Why was he so close to the Mayor, was it to simulate him whispering in his ear?

Story Suggested by Razor.

Another Super Super Bowl

Before I get into any of the machinations of the game I just want to say how lucky I feel to be in an unprecedented run of great Super Bowls. Surely it will be as fleeting the run of blowouts that marred my childhood.

I still rank Steelers-Cardinals as the great Super Bowl I ever saw, with Giants-Patriots I (Helmet Catch) but this one certainly makes an argument for that third spot.

It had an amazing ending, a goal line interception in the final seconds. That was a terrible play call, absolutely the worst. How do you not try with Marshawn Lynch there, at least on second down, if it doesn't work call time out and then consider your options. Nothing else needs to be said about it, it was a terrible move, a risk he didn't need to take. There is no argument in favor of it. Even though the Patriots would know it was coming, their odds of stopping it were low.

It's possible that Carroll was just caught off guard by that ridiculous catch by Jermaine Kearse.

Because Belichick certainly wasn't planning for a goal line situation either. After that first down play he should have called timeout and told his guys to just let Lynch score on second down. That would have been their best chance to get the ball back with some time remaining to kick a field goal and take their chances in overtime.

That is of course barring something colossally stupid by the Seahawks. We should also mention that even though it was absolutely, positively the wrong play-call, the odds of it turning into a game-losing interception were still very, very low.

You'd hate to say a team that cheats every time it wins benefited from good karma, but look at the NFC playoffs this year. Dallas beats Detroit on a questionable pass interference no call. Then the Cowboys lose on a properly-enforced but iffy ruling that Dez Bryant's catch was not a touchdown. The Packers took that break into Seattle and dominated the Seahawks until a series of fluke plays including a rainbow 2-point conversion gave the Seahawks the win. And then of course, this happened to them in the Super Bowl.

The Seahawks are likely to be decimated by free agency and there is no telling how many guys will stay and how many will go and how the team will perform after that, such is the reality of the modern-day NFL.

Which makes it even more amazing that Brady and Belichick have been to six Super Bowls and won 4 in the 14 seasons since Brady became the starter. Kudos to them for a great Super Bowl that unfortunately will be remembered for mistakes, rather that great plays.

Super Bowl Prop Bets

This is actually one of my favorite posts to write all year, even though it normally takes me hours. This year I'm using bovada and betonline but I can't direct link to the proper pages so you'll have to find them yourself. We'll start with the game and then move on to the ridiculous.

Super Bowl MVP
Rob Gronkowski 10/1
Tom Brady at 2/1 is a little too obvious and Russell Wilson at 7/2 is still a high price for a QB who is not the focal point of his team. If the Seahawks win it could very well be a random defensive player again. If the Pats win Brady will get the benefit of the doubt, but I feel confident that Gronk scores 2 TDs at least 10% of the time.

Player to Score First TD
Marshawn Lynch 11/2
Rob Gronkowski 13/2
Roughly 6 to 1 that one of these guys will be the one. The odds have to be better than 15%. Both of them are the focal points for their teams' offenses and likely a big part of their early game strategy as well.

Chandler Jones Sacks
Over 1/2 (-150)
Wilson does a lot of scrambling so Chandler could catch him one yard behind the line and still get credit for a sack.

Russell Wilson Passing Yards
Under 219 1/2 (-105)
I think the Patriots secondary is quite good and the Seahakws receivers aren't. I just don't see Wilson having a big passing game.

Russell Wilson Rushing Yards
Over 40 1/2 (-125)
I guess these last three bets all fit together. The Patriots defensive backs tightly cover the Seahawks receivers, Wilson is forced to scramble a lot. If the game doesn't play out like that I could very well be wrong on everything, including my pick of New England to win.

Marshawn Lynch Rushing Attempts
Under 20 1/2 (even)
This seems like a lot, unless the Seahawks have a big lead and try to pound the rock -- and do so effectively.

Luke Wilson Receptions
5 or more (+400)
I know this is kind of a long shot but he is a frequent safety valve for his brother Russell so he could see the ball quite a bit.

Richard Sherman Interceptions
Under 1/2 (-230)

Richard Sherman Tackles
Under 3 1/2 (-105)
I just think Sherman is not going to have a huge impact on this game.

Will Rob Gronkowski have more than 100 receiving yards
Yes (+190)
I wouldn't say I necessarily think this is going to happen, but I like the wager at this price.

Now let's move on to the fun stuff.
Minutes of Silva-Diaz vs. Legarrette Blount carries
Silva Diaz (-105)
I'm just not sure if Silva has it in him anymore for a first round knockout. More likely this goes the full 25. Unlikely Blount gets more than 15 carries.

How Long Will It Take Idina Menzel to Sing the National Anthem
Under 2 minutes and 1 second (-130)
I know she is a ham and she will hold some notes, but this is incredibly long for the anthem. Even Whitney Houston didn't break the 2-minute barrier.

Will Idina Menzel Omit or Forget At Least One Word
No (-700)
There is zero chance this is happening. She is way too conscientious too not have studied and way too seasoned to get nervous. If I owned a hedge fund I would put all my money on this and then close our books for the year with a 14% return.

What Color Will Bill Belichicl's Hoodie Be?
Grey (-120)
This is pretty much a two horse race with blue (no way he wears red) but I kind of feel like grey is the easy choice here.

What Will Katy Perry Be Wearing When She Begins the Halftime Show?
Pants (+450)
This is a huge dog but I think it has a real shot. Because she could come out in something covered up and then strip it away as the show goes on.

Will Katy Perry Be Showing Cleavage During the Halftime Show?
Yes (-700)
She didn't pay thousands of dollars for those things only to keep them covered up in front of the biggest audience she'll ever have.

What Will the Nielsen Rating of the Game Be?
Over 47 1/2 (-120)
Always tricky but these games keep getting more popular and I expect this one to be close and exciting.

What Color Gatorade Will be Dumped on the Winning Coach's Head?
Orange (3/2)
The Patriots always go with the tried and true.

Temperature at Kickoff
Under 67 1/2 degrees (-115)
It has been unseasonably cool in Arizona all week.

Super Bowl Pick

My hot postseason continues, and I was one historic collapse away from entering the Super Bowl with a perfect 10-0 playoff record (in my pre-playoffs straight winners) but at least I got them both right with the spread to go 7-3.

New England Patriots -1/2 Seattle Seahawks
I am going to take New England here. I don't really have a good Xs and Os reason for it. It's more about not thinking the Seahawks will repeat and not thinking the Patriots will lose three consecutive Super Bowls (they've played in).
If I were going to try to analyze the game, I would say that I think the Seattle secondary won't be able to shut down Rob Gronkowski. And when Brady gets going to the Gronk it usually opens up the rest of their offense.
As for their defense, I think the Patriots secondary will be able to blanket the Seahawks inferior wide receivers. If they can in turn stop Marshawn Lynch, the game will depend on how Russell Wilson does running the ball.
I have always been a Wilson doubter but the guy just makes plays. Somehow he always does exactly what his team needs, when they need it, like that 2-point conversion against the Packers.
But this time he's against Tom Brady, and a pretty decent Pats defense.
I think it will be a close game and I'm going to say New England 27 Seattle 23.

Last week: 2-0 (3 points)
Season: 48-47 (43 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (9-11)
Home Favorites: 1-0 (17-20)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (2-1)
Road Favorites: 0-0 (12-12)
Road Underdogs: 1-0 (17-14)

Boy Did They Blow That One

I have the indisputable answer as to why weather forecasters were so incorrect in predicting the severity of the recent snowstorm:
predicting the future is impossible.
Weather forecasts are just best guesses. You can have computer models anticipating everything but then one butterfly flaps his or her wings in TON's backyard in New Jersey and it changes the snowfall amounts at the palatial Damino estate in Westchester County.
But that doesn't mean they didn't fuck up royally. The meteorological community has a vested interest in going with the most dire forecasts they can reasonably get behind:
1) It makes people pay attention to them
2) It earns them money
3) They really feel like they are doing the right then to keep people safe
4) It's better to err on the high side, than on the low side

Unfortunately idiot politicians to whom we entrust way too much power and control of our lives, took these Chicken Little predictions and shut down entire cities for no good reason.

Note: it's a shame that we don't trust one another enough (we may be justified) to let people use their own judgement of whether or not it's safe to drive and go to work.

Song of the Week

"Life's a Bitch" - Nas featuring AZ
Excellent use of the sample from "Yearning For Your Love" by the Gap Band (SOTW, 6/8/11).
I watched a pretty cool documentary on Nas and really enjoyed it. It explored Illmatic which I always thought was slightly overrated. But hearing where the songs come from and how influential they were at the time gave me a new appreciation for it.

Created By Robert Kraft

In our ongoing efforts to bring you all the Super Bowl news you need to know, from the ridiculous to the sublime (this is both), here is the theme song for the new ABC sitcom "Growing Pats."



What makes it even funnier is that my favorite Patriot, Julian Edelman was the OP (original poster) of this video.

I Disagree With the Two Bills Here

Here is my favorite announcer Bill Walton giving birthday gifts to his friend and colleague Dave Pasch:



Billy sent me this video because he thought it was funny. Normally if the two Bills like something, I love it too.
Not this time.
Here's why: Walton gives Pasch a book on Darwin and says "we want to make sure you believe in evolution." Pasch replies "I don't." Clearly they have had this dicussion before.
Personally I do believe in evolution but that's not the point here.
The point is Dave Pasch does not deserve to be mocked for his views. On national TV no less, with the Twitter trolls watching.
I feel that liberals often feel that anyone who disagrees with only does so because they don't understand the real issue.
And liberals seemingly have unending tolerance and sympathetic catchphrases (like "Genetic Sexual Attraction" for people who date their biological parents) for everyone in the world, except someone who disagrees with them.
One example I would give is the #blacklivesmatter hashtag. This seems to imply that if you don't want to riot in the streets because Michael Brown got killed after robbing a store and punching cop, then you are a racist who doesn't care when black people die.
It seems to me this is just another example of how liberals just can't possibly understand how anyone could see the issue differently.

Note: I'm not saying conservatives aren't like this too, I just perceive it less often and less hostile.

Built In Excuse

The Patriots and Bill Belichick made a huge mistake in trying to shield responsibility and feigning ignorance about the current deflated balls scandal. All they should have said was the balls were inflated to the proper PSI and then Vince Wilfork tripped and fell on them.

I Got My Legos

Back by popular demand a 2015 version of Bad Lip Reading. Not as funny as the original but because I found it while it's still in the embryonic state og 301+ youtube views, I figure I would share and be early for once:

DeflateGate

First of all, adding -gate to every scandal has gotten tired. It should only be used if it involves a problem with an actual gate or with former Charlotte Hornet David Wingate.
Second of all, if the Patriots purposely deflated the ball to less than what it is supposed to be in an attempt to gain an advantage that is cheating. It doesn't matter if they would have won anyway, it doesn't matter if there was no real advantage. If they did something against the rules in the hopes of getting an advantage, that's cheating.
What should the punishment be?
They NFL will never, never, never, never, never, never, never (SOTW, 3/21/12) disqualify the Patriots from the Super Bowl and replace them with the Colts, or replay the game. That is never going to happen. And I think that is a little too severe.
I also think the NFL is going to purposely drag out this sham investigation until after the Super Bowl to alleviate any discussion of the matter.
But the league absolutely has to throw the book at the organization. $1m fine, a forfeited first round draft pick and a minimum of a 4-game suspension for Bill Belichick.
He was the mastermind of the biggest cheating scandal (such as it was) in recent NFL history with Spygate (damn!) and now this.
But if anyone deserves to lose to a cheater it's Pete Carroll who cheated his way through USC and then used the same blind eye to ignore rampant drug abuse (Adderrall) on the Seahawks.
These two scumbags deserve each other.
Whoever said "cheaters never win" was wrong.

Song of the Week

"That's How I Got to Memphis" - Tom T. Hall
This song was a central figure in the final episode of "The Newsroom."
Memphis is a stand-in for wherever you are in life.

Good Headline, Lousy Details

Former New York Knicks guard Greg Anthony was arrested in a prostitution sting in Washington DC over the weekend.
Cops busted him at the Doubletree Hotel.
Charges say he used a computer so he probably went on an escort site, ordered up a honey and got a cop instead.
Now I really want to make fun of the guy but I really couldn't care less about this.
Anthony is not married, he travels a lot, he makes a lot of money, he wants to have sex so he hires a girl to have sex with him. I really fail to see the giant cultural harm here.
It is against the law though, and unless this was some act of civil disobedience, then he knowingly broke the law.
But he is going to pay the price professionally, as CBS/Turner has banned him for the rest of the college basketball season.

Weekly Picks

Keen observers of The Poop will recognize that although I am only 5-3 in the playoffs with a best bet loss (close games though), I have correctly identified all 8 winners from my pre-playoffs straight winners post.

green bay +7 1/2 SEATTLE
I know this seems crazy because Aaron Rodgers is hurt but the Seahawks just don't seem that invincible to me. Yes they are good. Yes they should be able to run all over a weak Packers defense that they dominated in Week 1. But as we point out many times in this space, if everything that happened in the NFL, happened the same the next week/game, it would be a lot easier to pick winners than it is right now.
BEST BET
NEW ENGLAND -6 1/2 indianapolis
This is a tricky one because Andrew Luck has been playing so great, but I believe he is still capable of making that one bad mistake that could cost his team. Tom Brady won't do that. It would be poetic if this young kid came in and knocked off two legends (one of whom may retire) on the way to the Super Bowl, but life, and the NFL, don't always work that way.

Last week: 3-1 (2 points)
Season: 46-47 (40 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (8-11)
Home Favorites: 1-1 (16-20)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (2-1)
Road Favorites: 0-0 (12-12)
Road Underdogs: 2-0 (16-14)

Nik Stauskas Underestimated the Power of the Internet

We know that people who went to Michigan generally aren't that bright but former UMich Wolverine and current Sacramento King made a huge mistake. It all started when a female high school student asked how many retweets she needed to get for him to got to the prom with him.
He then got his girlfriend involved which prompted some enterprising student to ask how many retweets he needed to take her to the prom.
Stauskas said 10,000.
Ten minutes later he had 8,000. A few minutes after that, Taylor Anderson was promised as the prom date to Jamie Guerra.

Now at this point you are probably wondering what Miss Anderson looks like.

I really don't see how this is relevant but I'm here to give the people what they want.

Now you're next question is probably, does he get to sleep with her?
For the full prom experience, I would assume she would have to. But since Stauskas says he is going a long as a chaperone, I am going to guess the answer will be no.
But perhaps the Eiffel Tower is not out of the question.

Song of the Week

"Finally Moving" - Pretty Lights
One of at least three recent songs to sample Etta James's "Something's Got a Hold on Me."

It Was the Right Call

I hate the Dallas Cowboys. I hate Cowboys fans. I hate them when they are whining about calls. Especially when they got a favorable call just last week. And especially when the call they are griping about was absolutely correct. 

According to the rule book it is absolutely clear that Dez Bryant's catch was not a catch at all. 

Bryant did not make a "football move" or a move "common to the game" after catching the ball. He did not take a step or steady himself or juke a defender. He fell to the ground. And the rule states that you must retain control while falling to the ground. He clearly did not. The ball hit the ground and popped out. Period. End of story. Incomplete pass.

Now you may have a valid complaint if you don't like the rule but you can't intelligently claim it was misapplied in this case.  

And I think it is a good rule because we want to take as much gray area out of it as possible. Forcing receivers to keep possession as they fall to the ground makes it easier on officials to discern a completion. 

And though it didn't really work to quell controversy in this example I think it is the best way to avoid judgement calls by officials becoming the determining factor in big games. 

In fact I have said for years that the biggest threat to the NFL isn't concussions or wife-beating players, it's too many games being decided by penalties and rulings by officials. 

I think it ended the NBA's 90s revival when big games and championships were decided by questionable calls and clearly a fixed game (Kings-Lakers).

If this continues with the NFL where the playoffs are constantly shrouded in controversy and fans feel cheated it will lead to a decline in its popularity. 

News Flash: I'm Immature Too

The winner of this year Golden Globes golden globes award is Jennifer Lopez.

This actually created controversy this year because her co-presenter Jeremy Renner made a joke about her having the globes.

Apparently people on twitter didn't like this. It is sexist to notice women's breasts even when they are practically falling out of their dress.

But I guess I am not the only one with such a refined sense of humor. Welcome aboard Mr. Renner.

Weekly Picks

Not a great start to the playoffs but not terrible either. I got my best bet, almost got a sick backdoor cover from the awful Cardinals. But I got all four winners from my playoff predictions.

baltimore +7 NEW ENGLAND
I think the Patriots will win but I think Baltimore is a good enough playoff team to keep this close.

indianapolis +7 DENVER
I actually think the Colts are going to win this game and everyone is going to talk about the changing of the guard.

SEATTLE -12 1/2 carolina
I want to make this my best bet but I think the spread is just a little too large and the Panthers defense is just a little too good.

BEST BET
GREEN BAY -5 1/2 dallas
The more people jump on Dallas's bandwagon (including Chris Christie) the more I think they are going to lose, and probably go down in flames while doing so.

Last week: 2-2 (4 points)
Season: 43-46 (38 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (8-10)
Home Favorites: 1-1 (15-19)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (2-1)
Road Favorites: 0-0 (12-12)
Road Underdogs: 1-1 (14-14)

Fuck Football, He Should Have Been on the Swim Team

Former Syracuse running back Rob Konrad survived a boating accident by swimming 9 miles to shore. Somehow he fell out of the boat (he was fishing alone) and couldn't get back to it (it was on autopilot). He left at 10am and his friends noticed he was missing when he didn't show up for dinner so they contacted the Coast Guard which sent a helicopter to look for him. Police found him on the beach at 4:40am when he somehow contacted them. He was treated for hypothermia (he was in the water for 10-12 hours) and was released.

Now We Can Call Her Ma'am Again

Sen. Barbara Boxer will not seek a new term when hers expires in 2016.
This seems like a good time to bring up this famous clip:



This has to be one of the pettiest, nastiest things any human being has ever done in such a public forum.
"I worked so hard to get that title."
Oh yeah bitch, he's a fuckin general in the Army. I'm pretty sure that was a harder title to attain.
And by the way, in the military, ma'am is how you show respect for a female superior.

Mrs. Poop is So Immature

Mrs. Poop asked me to take this picture of her in front of Animal Kingdom at Disney World.

Song of the Week

"Coco" - OT Genasis
It shows you how bad hip-hop music has become that this is the best thing out there right now.

The Universe Thinks My Art Sucks

As most of you know, The Poops moved into a new house this summer, we actually bought it just a couple days after Mrs. Poop's birthday.
Because we don't normally exchange big gifts, and we were spending a lot of money on the house, repairs, additional furnishings etc, I decided a gift heavy on sentiment, light on cost would be ideal.

So I drew Mrs. Poop a picture of our new abode.

Looks pretty good compared to the original though right?

But evidently the Universe didn't think my artwork is good enough because the gift from our realtor, sitting on the shelf the day we closed, was this picture of the house, drawn by a professional.

Ok, I readily admit it is better, but mine was drawn with love and colored with crayons.

And since then we've had the house re-sided, and it looks completely different.

Booyah!

I did not like Stuart Scott. I met him once, he seemed like a nice guy but I didn't really know him. All I knew of him was his on-air persona, which I hated.
I hated his ridiculous catchphrases and his jock-sniffing. And I almost never watched him.
I didn't watch the ESPYs and although I knew he had cancer, I didn't realize how close to death he was.
I was genuinely shocked and saddened by the news when I heard it.
The more I read and saw about it, I do admire the way he handled his battle and I respect him as a man.
And he was very nice and cool and funny when I met him during my Stump the Schwab appearance.
But as a SportsCenter anchor he sucked.

Weekly Picks

Now is the time to make up for a mediocre (maybe bad) regular season. 11 in a row here we come.

arizona +6 1/2 CAROLINA
I was waiting for this for months when it became evident that a bad team would be hosting a playoff game and everyone would say "remember the Seahawks!" when they were 7-9 and beat a much better Saints team in the first round. But then every Cardinals QB got hurt and the Panthers defense came to life. But maybe the Cardinals can pull this off or at least keep it close.

baltimore +3 PITTSBURGH
These games never go how you think they should. Plus, I'm pretty sure the Steelers will win by 3 and everyone loses.

DALLAS -6 1/2 detroit
Hard to believe in either of these teams based on past performance. This is a lot of points but the Lions just don't seem like a team that has figured out how to win big games.

BEST BET
INDIANAPOLIS -3 1/2 cincinnati
I gave the Bengals the benefit of the doubt here on the spread because I don't want two pushes marring the weekend. Eventually someday Andy Dalton may play a good playoff game. But I don't think that's going to be today. Andrew Luck should be able to will his team to victory.

Last week: 2-3 (4 points)
Season: 41-44 (38 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (7-10)
Home Favorites: 1-2 (14-18)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (2-1)
Road Favorites: 0-1 (12-12)
Road Underdogs: 1-0 (13-13)