Please join the ESPN tournament challenge group. The Poop, as always. Vote early and often. Do one for the kiddies, one for the wife, one for the family dog.
The Yankees got creative with their rookie hazing this year, forcing their rookies to dress up as characters from the Wizard of Oz.
Joba Chamberlain is dressed as the Lion, Ian Kennedy as Dorothy, Shelley Duncan as the Scarecrow and Phil Hughes as the Tin Man.
Joba Chamberlain's wheelchair bound father, Harlan, must have been crying again after seeing his son like this.
Chase Wright, the good witch.
Ian Kennedy definitely got the worst of this. I wonder which veteran he pissed off. But his Dorothy costume is very authentic right down to his Toto and his ruby red slippers and shopping bag from the Apple store.
The Madison Square Garden intern who fucked Stephon Marbury in the back of his truck outside a strip club testified in the Isiah Thomas sexual harrassment trial. Kathleen Decker says she wasn't forced to fuck Marbury, and that she wasn't drunk when she did it. She also admitted to fucking Marbury's cousin, Hassan Gonsalves, which makes her sound like a slut. She also backed off saying she felt forced to fuck Marbury, saying she actually felt forced to tell Anucha Browne Sanders about the backseat banging. That runs contrary to the thank you card she sent to Sanders after she got bopped in the backseat, in which she called the incident a mistake and thanked Sanders for being supportive. A few weeks after Marbury stuck his key in her ignition, Decker was made a full time employee of the Knicks. And a few weeks before she testified in this case, she was given a promotion at the Garden.
A Boston woman was doing the Sunday crossword in the Boston Globe Magazine with her boyfriend when she started to notice something funny. The puzzle was titled "Popping the Question" and a lot of the clues had something to do with marriage. For instance, 22 across was "macrame artist's proposal?" The answer was "Lets Tie the Knot." Other clues were the names of her sister and her best friend. But when she got to 111 across (generic proposal - her name is Jen, her boyfriend is Aric, Jen-Aric, get it?) Aric got down on his knee and proposed. The answer by the way, was "will you marry me?" A few months ago Aric had contacted the magazine to see if they could create a special puzzle for him, and the husband and wife team that writes the puzzles agreed.
San Diego Padres outfielder Milton Bradley is out for the season after an injury he suffered during an argument with an umpire.
Here's the backstory: Bradley struck out in his previous at bat and when he got up the next time the home plate umpire asked him if Bradley had thrown his bat at him. Bradley said no, the home plate ump said the other umps said he had thrown his bat. So when Bradley singled he asked the first base ump Mike Winters if he said that, Winters said he had. Bradley says Winters kept talking to him, saying things and at one point a fan said "you suck" towards Winters and Bradley nodded in agreement and that's when things really took off.
Bradley says Winters called him a "piece of shit" and Padres first base coach Bobby Meacham backed up Bradley 100% saying he'd never seen an umpire behave like that in his 26 years in baseball, and that he thought there was a racial element to what Winters was saying.
The West Virginia quarterback received what appeared to be a hug and a peck on the cheek from ESPN sideline reporter Erin Andrews a few seconds after a postgame interview Saturday at Puskar Stadium.
“That’s between me and her,” White said, a little shocked that someone caught the interlude, before breaking into a sly smile.
A few seconds later, he volunteered, “I almost fainted when she came up to me.”
Unfortunately for White, he didn't get to grab her boobs.
"Brady Bunch" star Maureen McCormick, who played Marcia Brady - will reveal in a new book that she had a sexual relationship with Eve Plumb, who played her younger sister, Jan.
The book, titled "Here's the Story," will detail how a small crush blossomed into a romantic and physically intimate relationship between McCormick and Eve Plumb.
Due out next year the bombshell biography will also touch on topics such as McCormick's battles with bulimia, cocaine addiction and depression.
There's quite an uproar over the visit to New York by Iran's president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Some people don't want to let him in the country, to let him speak at Columbia University or to let him go to Ground Zero. I think we should treat him kindly and let him do whatever he wants. We are fighting a cultural war and the only way to win is to show the world that our culture is better.
Bad grammar is ruining our society. Instead of warning drivers this sign offered them the opportunity to take the plates, setting construction back days and costing taxpayers millions.
Last week was an absolute freakin disaster. So many underdogs covered, especially those who were getting big point spreads. The Ravens really let me down because they shouldn't have let the Jets back in the game. This week I go out on a limb with 5 road teams, hoping to get my best bet then hit 50% of the other 4 games.
indianapolis -6 HOUSTON This spread looks way too low even on the road. The Texans are a surprising 2-0 but they are still not as good as the Colts. Last week the Colts failed to cover against the Titans, I don't expect them to have two letdowns in a row.
minnesota +3 KANSAS CITY I really like the Vikings this year, and I really hate the Chiefs. I wish I were getting another 1/2 point because I could see this game being a push. But the Vikings have a great run defense and if the Chiefs have to throw, it won't be pretty. The fact that Tarvaris Jackson probably won't play makes this even more attractive to me. Give the ball to Adrian Peterson and get out of the way.
st. louis +3 1/2 TAMPA BAY I still believe that the Bucs aren't very good and they just took advantage of a bad New Orleans secondary last week. I think the Rams have a great offense and should finally get it together with Jackson running for 125 yards and Bulger having a good game as well. And the fact that they can lose by a field goal and still cover makes me pretty confident here.
carolina -4 ATLANTA The Panthers are a very up and down team and even though Steve Smith had a great game last week, they lost to the Texans. The Falcons are going to be downright awful this year and I don't think this is the time they're going to get a win.
BEST BET san diego -4 1/2 GREEN BAY The Packers may well be better this season than everyone expected. They may very well have one of the best defenses in the league. Brett Favre is still their quarterback and thus prone to the occassional turnover filled performance. The Chargers are mad. They got their asses kicked on national TV and they have way more talent than the Packers. They should bring their A-game to Lambeau where it's too early for weather to have an impact. This game could be an ass whooping.
Last week: 1-4 (0 points) Season so far: 5-5 (5 points) Best bet: 0-1 (1-1) Home favorites: 0-2 (2-2) Home underdogs: 0-0 (1-0) Road favorites: 0-2 (1-2) Road undergods: 1-0 (1-1)
Veteran outfielder Shawn Green plans on missing the Mets' Friday night game against the Marlins to observe Yom Kippur.
Green will not come to Dolphin Stadium on Friday.
This will be only the third time in 13 seasons that Green has had to miss a game in deference to the holiday.
"I feel fortunate that I haven't had more conflicts," he said.
While a member of the Dodgers, Green missed a game on Sept. 25, 2004, against the Giants that had playoff implications. He also missed a game against the Giants on Sept. 26, 2001. That became big news, because he had played in 415 straight games, the longest active streak in the Majors at the time.
The Mets' Saturday game against the Marlins begins at 3:55 p.m. ET, but Green has told Randolph that he will be available to play. According to Mets publicist Jay Horwitz, that is in keeping with Green's tradition of missing one game during Yom Kippur, not two.
Green hit a home run in consecutive games to start the road trip. Entering Thursday's action, he is tied for 91st place with Mo Vaughn in career home runs with 328. Hank Greenberg and the Mets' Moises Alou are tied for 89th place just three homers ahead of him.
Alicia Silverstone, everyone's favorite mid-90s teen hottie is back in a sexy new ad for those wacky Peta people. Basically she shows off her naked body and implies that she looks so damn good because she doesn't eat meat (but she sure likes the bone!) Josh has more great Alicia stuff.
A new streetcar debuted in Seattle called the South Lake Union Streetcar. But residents are calling it South Lake Union Trolley, or SLUT for short. And a local coffee shop is selling special "ride the slut" t-shirts.
Survivor, the show that introduced reality television is back for a 15th season. I know a lot of people (including TON who used to be a devotee) have given up on the program but Mrs. Poop and I still like it and we'll make Chase watch this season. This season will be shot in China, which I suppose is interesting from a socio-political standpoint but I don't expect it to make the show more entertaining. The reason why I think it stays fresh is because even though the circumstances are the same (other than contrived gimmicks like tribes split along racial lines or filming it in China), the players are always different. And the players make the show interesting. This year two players you may know are competing.
Jean-Robert Bellande is a somewhat well known pro poker player. He is a huge guy who talks a lot at the table. He is a disciple of Jeffrey Lisandro. Bellande made two televised appearances, finishing third at a WSOP Circuit Event in 2005 and appearing on World Poker Tour's Bad Boys of Poker II.
But the real star of this season (praying she doesn't get voted off early) will be Ashley Massaro who is a WWE Diva. Ashley is pretty hot other than some weird piercing on her lip, but she has huge fake tits. It's always cool to see chicks with implants on Survivor because the rest of their body deteriorates and shrinks and the boobs stay round and perfect.
Or is he rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic?
Before Tuesday's game against the Nationals Willie Randolph held a meeting with the team. After the 9-8 loss Randolph said "This feels very normal to me, the way a playoff race should be. I think we're close to turning the corner. When we sip a little champagne later on, it'll be that much sweeter."
I think Willie sounds a little foolish saying this in the midst of a 5-game losing streak but no more foolish than he would be if he were throwing a child's temper tantrum and upsetting the buffet table. I do not know why the Mets are in this tailspin but I really don't believe they will break out of it if Willie yells at them. I'm more inclined to support Willie's approach that the team needs to relax and not try to do too much because several of the errors committed this week were clear examples of that.
A very positive four week checkup for Chase. He's been eating a lot since his weigh-in two weeks ago. He now tips the scales at 8 pounds 12 ounces, gaining an astonishing 24 ounces in just two weeks. That means he no longer needs formula supplements and he can sleep through the night if he wants (but Mrs. Poop will probably continue to wake him for one nighttime feeding, at least for the time being). The doctor said it's normal for Chase to be wide awake during the evenings (which he has been), eating every hour sometimes between 6 and 9. He's 22 inches tall, grown 2 inches since birth. He has a clogged tear duct (the medical term for that is "eye goopies") which is unsightly, but not a major problem at this point, time should heal it. We don't need to go back to the doctor for another month.
Hilarious video of some douche getting harrassed by the cops. He wanted to ask John Kerry a question but instead went on a 2 minute rant about how Kerry won the election and should have contested the results. After being asked to stop once, they just shut his mic off and then University of Florida Police escorted him out. The kid freaked out because he wanted to make a spectacle of himself and he got his wish. He became an overnight internet and national news story.
By the way, I think taser is a noun and a verb. I do not think "tase" is the correct verb form.
Michael Buffer and Christine Prado Ok, so it's not like Ms. Prado is famous, but she's hot enough to be. She's 32 and of Chinese-Haitian descent. He's 62 and a gasbag who is overly litigious and was lucky enough to be born with a good voice. But I at least give Buffer credit, he knows a good thing when he's got it, so he proposed to Prado on "The Tonight Show."
Cheaters Do Prosper Incredibly impressive performance by the New England Patriots. They beat the San Diego Chargers 38-14, exactly the same score by which they defeated the New York Jets in Week 1. But the Chargers are a much better team than the Jets, maybe the second best team in the NFL. They absolutely blitzed the Chargers, forcing 3 turnovers and leading 24-0 midway through the 2nd quarter. If the Patriots can keep up this high level of play there is no one who can beat them in the NFL this season.
Take a Seat Pretty Boy Cleveland Browns quarterback Derek Anderson shocked the world throwing for 328 yards and 5 touchdowns to lead the Browns to a 51-45 victory over the Cincinnati Bengals. I predicted the Browns would score 17 points tops. They scored three times that many and Anderson had an incredible game. Doesn't look like Brady Quinn will be getting in the game anytime soon.
Oh When the Saints I'm starting to believe that last season's run to the NFC title game by the New Orleans Saints was a fluke. For two weeks now the Saints defense has been shown to be susceptible to the deep ball. Peyton Manning torched them, which is understandable but now Jeff Garcia burned them for 243 yards, on only 10 complete passes. He had completions of 33, 69, 41 (twice) and 24 yards. And midway through the third quarter they stopped running the ball. Also the Saints vaunted offense hasn't been able to do much either. Drew Brees padded his stats with about 100 meaningless yards, but he hasn't been able to get anything deep and Bush and McAllister haven't been able to get a good ground game going either. Every year teams we think are good turn out to be bad, the Saints might be that team.
Cheaters Do Prosper II For the second straight week the Denver Broncos won a game on a last second field goal, this time they should have lost. As the Raiders' Sebastian Janikowski was getting set to attempt the game-winning field goal, the Broncos tried to call timeout to ice him. The whistle never blew though and the down was played and the kick was good. But an official said time had been called before the kick. Janikowski missed the second attempt and the Broncos won. This rule should be changed. On field goals you should have to call timeout before the ball is set, or at least before the ball is snapped.
Game of The Week Cleveland Browns 51 Cincinnati Bengals 45 Just an amazing back and forth game in which neither team played any defense at all. Jamal Lewis had over 200 yards. Chad Johnson had over 200 yards. Chad Johnson, TJ Houshmandzadeh, Braylon Edwards and Joe Jurevicius all had 2 TDs. Carson Palmer had 400 yards and 6 TDs and he might have been outplayed. There were 12 touchdowns and 5 punts. In a span of 14 possessions starting in the first quarter and extending until the end of the 3rd, there were 11 scoring drives and 2 turnovers. This was a fun game to watch.
Game of Next Week Dallas Cowboys at Chicago Bears The Bears have drawn a tough early schedule and if they lose this game they will fall to 1-2. The Cowboys have scored 82 points in two games and even torched a pretty good Dolphins defense. But the Bears defense is even better. But Rex Grossman still hasn't played well and he needs a breakout week to keep the vultures at bay.
Cheerleader of the Week Jessica Wanzie of the New England Patriots Cheerleaders Jessica couldn't be any more girly. Her favorite TV shows are One Tree Hill and Friends. Her favorite actors are Julia Roberts and Leonardo DiCaprio and she loves Justin Timberlake. Even her dog is girly, a yorkiepoo named Molly.
A Brief Rant About the Redskins Jason Campbell had his coming of age game on Monday Night against the Eagles. He started off a little rocky but he settled down later in the game. The game plan doesn't give him chances to complete a lot of passes (very few screens), but it does take advantage of his strong arm by throwing a lot of outs. He still is a little erratic with his deep ball as evidenced by the potential game-clincher he threw 10 yards over Santana Moss's head. But overall an excellent performance from Campbell.
The defense was also terrifying but effective. Employing a bend but don't break strategy the Redskins held the Eagles to four field goals, but no touchdowns. Through 2 games the Redskins have forced one turnover which was their big problem last year, lack of big plays on defense. But they did get one big play on defense against the Eagles. On fourth down late in the game rookie safety Laron Landry delivered a big hit on Kevin Curtis breaking up the catch and preserving the victory.
The Redskins next four games are against the Giants, Lions, Packers and Cardinals, all winnable games especially because only the Packers game is a road game.
If the Super Bowl Were Played Today The New England Patriots would beat the Dallas Cowboys 38-14. The Patriots just look unstoppable on offense. The Cowboys look like the class of the NFC, but 24 points seems just about right for this one.
Another embarrassing revelation from the Isiah Thomas sexual harrassment trial. Isiah's deposition (scan ahead to 7 minutes in) was played in court yesterday. In it Isiah said a white man calling a black woman a bitch is very offensive to him, but a black man doing it, well...not so much.
Nebraska State Senator Ernie Chambers is suing God for causing untold death and horror and threatening to cause more. Chambers says God can be sued in Douglas County, Nebraska, because He's everywhere. The Omaha senator, who skips morning prayers during the legislative session and often criticizes Christians, blames God for natural disasters and is seeking a permanent injunction against Him. Angered by another lawsuit he considers frivolous, Chambers says he's trying to make the point that anybody can file a lawsuit against anybody. God could not be reached for comment.
O.J. Simpson led a gang of armed gunmen into a hotel room at a Las Vegas casino in an effort to steal back some memorabilia that was stolen from him. O.J. can be heard on the audiotape of the incident repeatedly saying "mother fuckers, you think you can steal my shit and sell it?" Among the items in question was the suit O.J. was wearing in court the day he was acquitted of killing Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman.
What a great twist of ironic fate this would be if like the great Al Capone, O.J. Simpson got off for the crime of the century, but spent the rest of his life in jail because some mother fuckers thought they could steal his shit and sell it.
There exists a segment of the population that cannot give a gift unless it is placed a decorative bag and stuffed with tissue paper. So these people (we'll call them...women) spend $10 on a present for someone and $10 on a gift bag and $5 on tissue paper. And because these gift bags are so pretty you can't just throw them away. So in our basement are about 20 gift bags with various baby themes (blocks, rattles) that will never be reused or discarded.
If you do, you will have noticed the MyCokeRewards points codes that have been on the insides of your bottlecaps for the past year or so. Well, I have been collecting the codes and entering them and I've already got enough for a $50 Best Buy gift card, but with your help I can do so much more. So if you drink Coke and you are otherwise going to throw away your codes, please e-mail them to me before you do. It won't take long and I would really appreciate it.
Note: the red caps can be tough to read, so hold it up to the light so you can tell the difference between the V and the W.
cincinnati -6 1/2 CLEVELAND This is a lot of points to give up on the road but Derek Anderson is the starting quarterback for the Browns. I just don't see them getting more than 17 points...at the absolute most. And Cincinnati should easily put up 24 against a defense that got scorched by the Steelers.
minnesota +3 1/2 DETROIT How quickly I've turned on Detroit, making them my best pick last week on the road, to picking against them at home this week. Well, here's my explanation: Detroit is destined to be an 8-8 (roughly) team. 8-8 teams win every other week, they beat the teams they are better than, and lose to the teams that are better than they are. I think the Vikings are a better team. And I love the fact that I am getting more than a field goal here.
CHICAGO -12 kansas city I don't like picking against teams that got killed the previous week because I think the spread is unfairly weighted against them. But I think the Chiefs are going to be downright putrid this year and I think the Bears can stop Larry Johnson which will force the Chiefs to rely on a passing game they don't have. I expect the Chiefs to have at least 5 3 and out drives, and another 3 turnovers. The Bears offense is hit or miss and they scored only 3 points last week. Any kind of rebound...or points off turnovers will make this 12 point spread seem like a joke.
BALTIMORE -10 new york jets I desperately wanted to make this game my best bet, but I just couldn't, for two reasons. First of all, Kyle Boller might start the game for the Ravens. He could easily give up 7, 10 or even 14 points himself, which would make this spread tough to cover. Second, the spread was 10, 9 1/2 and I probably would have done it. Also I was a little worried that the Jets were just exposed (on film) last week and their embarrassed defense would rebound strongly against an inferior (to the Patriots) offense. Still, I have a lot of confidence in the Ravens defense against a quarterback in his first NFL start. I've got about an 80% confidence that the Ravens will cover and a 25% confidence that they will pitch a shut out, meaning I'd be more surprised if the Jets cover, than if they don't score at all.
new orleans -3 TAMPA BAY There are two reasons why this spread is absurdly low. First, home field advantage is overvalued and so are performances that are on national TV. The Saints defense looked bad, but they were playing the best offense in the league, and now they are playing perhaps the worst. Drew Brees, Reggie Bush and company also looked bad against the Colts, but they are too good to have two bad weeks in a row. Re-read the previous sentence, I used three forms of 2 in the span of 5 words.
Last week: 4-1 (5 points) Best bets: 1-0 Home favorites: 2-0 Home underdogs: 1-0 Road favorites: 1-0 Road underdogs: 0-1
They both like the Mets. They both root for college football teams which started the season 0-2. They are both Jewish. They both have difficult to diagnose stomach ailments. They both are on restricted diets. They both have JSS.
To translate, Diesel has been sick (vomiting and diarrhea) intermittently during the summer and after a couple vet visits they still don't really know what's wrong but think it might be inflammatory bowel disease.
Stephon Marbury had to get on the stand and answer questions during Isiah Thomas's sexual harassment trial. Anucha Browne Sanders, the woman suing Thomas and the Knicks said Marbury was a big part of the problem. Marbury reportedly asked Sanders for 50 tickets and she told him he couldn't get that many he complained to her superiors and she had to come up with the tickets. Also Marbury forced the team (by going right to Dolan) to hire his cousin, Hassan Gonsalves to a low-level job. Gonsalves was later fired by the Knicks for sexual harrassment and an incident in which he forged his boss's name on his timesheet. But the most startling allegation against Marbury involves an intern named Kathleen Decker. In 2005, Decker, Gonsalves, Marbury and some other Knicks employees went to a strip club. Decker accepted a ride home to her dorm at St. John's by Gonsalves. Marbury followed them and when Decker got out of Gonsalves's car Marbury said to her "Are you going to get in the truck?" Decker (exercising bad judgment, although she was drunk and afraid to deny Marbury) got in the truck and had sex with Marbury. Marbury was quite the gentleman afterwards, although he didn't call her the next day he did send a text that said "I want some more of that."
“It seemed like (Brady) knew what we were doing...”
- Jets safety Kerry Rhodes
That's what Kerry Rhodes said right after the game. With more evidence coming out it's pretty clear the Patriots have been engaged in this kind of cheating for years. While I am against cheating of any kind I really think it's petty. It's up to you to give your signals in a manner that can't be decoded, even if the other team has them on tape.
I plan to teach Chase how to keep score of a baseball game. Mrs. Poop is going to teach him how to be a good, kind, thoughtful person. But there's a lot more he needs to know. Here is what I hope Chase can learn from the Poopheads:
TallSkott - Math Razor - How to shave Reissberg - How to take a joke jusTON - How to build a deck JLeary - Sound financial planning Focks - The lyrics to "Hail To The Victors!" Damino - How to throw a kick ass party Josh - How to be heard above a crowd Billy - How to dance Pizza Parlor Derek - How to hook up at Darwin's Beers - How to make a masculine child Smokey - The rear naked chokehold The Malcontent - How to write SCZA - How to keep from your wife the fact that you pay $50 to watch UFC on PPV Greco - Corporate logistics Master Bates - How much urine is in those dishes of mints at diners Step On Me - If you make a scene, the restaurant will give you your meal for free Nails - The best restaurants in New York City The Concierge - Everything else
"Elenore" - The Turtles Another classic oldie that I love. In this one enjoy the inane lyrics including one of my all-time favorites ("your looks intoxicate me, even though your folks hate me"), the hair and clothes and the language of the times (gee I think you're swell).
Pro Poker player Michael Gracz was cited with a misdemeanor gambling charge for playing at an unlicensed card room in North Carolina. He said police resources would have been better spent going after sexual predators. While I essentially agree with that point, gambling is illegal in North Carolina and it is up to the police to enforce the law. He also pointed out that poker is a game of skill, which of course it is, and therefore shouldn't be illegal at all.
Gracz has a pretty decent poker resume. He won a World Series bracelet in 2005 and a WPT poker title (and $1.5 million) in the third season.
The New York Jets got their asses kicked by the Patriots on Sunday and now they are complaining that the Patriots stole their signals.
Big fuckin deal!
It's not like they broke into the meeting room through the air conditioning vent and eavesdropped on game plan meetings. They videotaped the Jets coaches. If they videotaped it, you could have seen it with your own eyes. I'm sorry, but nothing that happens in full view of a crowd of 60,000 people can be considered private. Why is there even a rule against this? I thought NFL teams gave plays names like "blue right red z out slant 42 britney sucks middle on 3" because they didn't want other teams to pick up on their systems.
And if that wasn't enough, Jets players and announcers and freaking out that fans cheered when Chad Pennington got hurt. First of all, it's not like he was seriously hurt. If he was laid out and fans cheered, that would be inappropriate. But this wasn't a permanent injury, and they weren't cheering that he got hurt, they were cheering that someone else was coming into the game. Since then every self-righteous sports talk host and reporter has taken a minute to get on their high horse about the deplorable behavior of Jets fans, even suggesting those fans should lose their season tickets.
It always seems appropriate on this, the 6th anniversary of 9/11 to take a moment out (maybe at 8:46 am) and think back on that day, the day life changed. In the span of one week I went to Connecticut for a wedding, witnessed the largest attack on U.S. soil up close, then went to Connecticut for another wedding, and sat for hours trying to get on the Goethals Bridge. We haven't been attacked since then, but once was enough to forever change every American who was alive that day.
Welcome to the NFL Son My two favorite rookie running backs both had huge days. Marshawn Lynch rushed for 90 yards and a TD but was overshadowed by Adrian Peterson. The Vikings started the game by giving Chester Taylor the ball three times on the opening drive. He gained 18 yards and never carried the ball again. The rest of the carries went to Peterson who rushed for 103 yards. But his breakthrough moment came on a screen pass he almost didn't catch. He bobbled the ball, which allowed the blocking in front to create a lane for him, which he ran right through, for a 60 yard touchdown.
Where's Michael Vick When You Need Him? Joey Harrington was sacked six times and threw 2 interceptions as the Falcons got killed by the Vikings, 24-3.
Kicking Counts Three teams won games on last second field goals, the Packers, the Redskins (in OT) and the Broncos. For the Broncos, Jason Elam redeemed himself after missing two kicks earlier in the game.
Tough Luck Bears safety Mike Brown tore his ACL and is out for the season. In 2004 he played 2 games and suffered a season ending injury. He played 12 games in 2005 and 6 in 2006, when he suffered another season ending injury. Brown will have missed 43 of his team's 64 games over the past four seasons.
Monday Night Doubleheader I really enjoyed the Monday Football doubleheader which featured two exciting but poorly played games.
Costly Penalty With time running out and the Ravens trailing by 7 Kyle Boller (Kyle Boller!) connected with Todd Heap on a game-tying touchdown. But it was called back due to offensive pass interference. This was a bad call (there was contact, but it was minimal) but given the situation, it was terrible. The Ravens didn't rebound and lost the game. But they also have themselves to blame. They turned it over 6 times, including 3 fumbles in the first quarter.
Ocho Cinco Dons a 54 Long Chad Johnson scored an early touchdown and his contrived celebration involved him donning a huge yellow blazer (like the one NFL Hall of Famers get) on the sidelines. I barely managed a chuckle at this display but I get much more annoyed at the stodgy old fools who decry antics like this as the end of western civilization. It's a game, it's fun and it should be fun. If Chad enjoys it, and some fans enjoy it (and I know some do), then he's not hurting anyone by doing it. Maybe he's calling attention to himself, maybe he's showing up the other team, but I have no problem with his gimmick and I enjoy his routines when they're funny.
Awful Announcing The only bad part of the Monday Night Football Doubleheader was the trio of Mike Greenberg, Mike Golic and Mike Ditka in the booth for the second game. It's just like ESPN to try to promote their morning show ("Mike & Mike") by putting two inexperienced announcers in the booth. Why not tab a solid old pro like Mike Patrick for this one time event? Greenberg and Golic cut down on their schtick, but they are still used to that morning show format. At one point Greenberg said that Arnaz Battle didn't have a single drop last year, the only regular WR to not drop a ball. Golic then said everything he knew about Battle (he used to be a quarterback at Notre Dame), but none of it further illustrated the point or was all that interesting.
Awful Quarterbacking The young quarterback duo on display in the Arizona-San Francisco game (Matt Leinart and Alex Smith) disappointed me greatly. Leinart consistently overthrew his receivers and missed open guys. Alex Smith just sucked, until the last drive when he got it together and led him team to the victory.
Holy Roller A crazy play occurred at the very end of the Arizona-San Francisco game. On 3rd and 13 with about 30 seconds left, Alex Smith completed a 22 yard pass to Arnaz Battle who fumbled at the 1 yard line.
The ball rolled forward into the end zone. The 49ers recovered but the ball is taken back to the point of the fumble. The rule is designed to prevent an offensive player from purposely throwing the ball forward and a teammate recovering it ahead of the spot from when it was fumbled. This only applies to fourth down and the last 2 minutes of a half. This rule was put into effect after this play (listen to the announcer's adjectives for the play, and for Madden's butt):
Game of the Week Chargers 14 Bears 3 I know there were some other higher scoring games, closer games, but I enjoyed watching this one. This was two awesome teams (probably the best in each conference) playing their games and the better team came out on top. The Bears dominated the first half shutting down LT and holding the Chargers offense to 3 3-and-outs and several other short drives. Rex Grossman did throw an INT in the first half, but so did Philip Rivers. A lot of fumbling in the second half. Benson fumbled on the Bears first drive but with 2nd and goal from the 1 Rivers fumbled it right back. This was a controversial play because it looked like the Bears were offside, and basically they blew up the snap and Rivers never got his hands on it. The Bears couldn't capitalize however and they were forced to punt, which was fumbled, but San Diego held onto it. But they couldn't do anything to they punted and Chicago fumbled the punt. But this time the Chargers recovered and they used the short field and some trickery to put their first points on the board. LT threw another touchdown, the 7th touchdown pass of his career. The Bears fumbled again on the very next drive (the other Adrian Peterson, this time) and the Chargers once again took advantage of the field position and scored a touchdown. The Bears had one more chance but were stopped on 4th down. One bright note for Bears fans, Rex Grossman was responsible for only 1 of the 4 turnovers.
Game of Next Week San Diego at New England Should be a great matchup and a preview of the AFC Title Game (the de facto Super Bowl this year). There is still some bad blood left over from last year's playoff game. Seems like NBC handpicked this game and ratings should be huge, no true NFL fan should miss this one.
Cheerleader of the Week Romi Beam of the Denver Broncos Cheerleaders There's a lot to like about Romi who has been a Broncos Cheerleader for 3 years. She says her most memorable game was against the Chiefs and points out that the Rock was there. John Lynch is her favorite player and "The Secret" is her favorite book. Maybe she uses the tricks of the secret to get John Lynch. A place she would like to visit is the Poseidon Resort in Fiji where the rooms are underwater. But the best thing about Romi is that one of the two people she would like to have dinner with is Tiger Woods. The other is Barney Stinson.
A Brief Rant About the Redskins A win is a win and a lot better than a loss. But I was very unimpressed by the Redskins performance at home against a mediocre, at best, Dolphins team. Jason Campbell was not impressive at all, his stats look better than they were because of that fluke pass to Antwaan Randle-El that almost won the game. The big problem is that Campbell threw 2 INTs and 0 TDs. The running game was good, especially at the end of the game. Portis and Betts combined for 157 yards. The defense played well, led by linebackers London Fletcher and Rocky McIntosh. But they only forced one turnover. They could have had another one when Fred Smoot stepped in front of a Trent Green pass late in regulation, but it bounced off his chest. In order to win the Redskins must run the ball and be in the plus column in turnovers. They only did one of those in this game, but still got the win. Next up, the Eagles on Monday night in Philadelphia.
If The Super Bowl Were Played Today The Chargers would beat the Cowboys 42-28. The Chargers are freakin awesome and as great as the Colts and Patriots, and even the Steelers played, I'm going to have see someone beat them before I take them out of this spot.
The man with the gay smile turns 30 years old today. For his 30th birthday he received a Sirius Satellite Radio and reacted like a small child who just got a new bike for Christmas. I hope he used his new radio to listen to his Broncos win a tough road game with a last second field goal. And I hope that in the next 30 years Derek spends less time chatting up girls on MySpace and more time writing for the Parlor and the Pride. But that's a selfish wish, it's probably better for him to keep chasing cyberskirts.
I wonder if any of you (other than The Concierge) remember the ads starring Latrell Sprewell after he choked P.J. which started his rehabiliation. He was getting his hair braided and he said "People say I'm America's worst nightmare, I say I'm the American Dream." Well, I'm not a 3-time NBA All-Star, I don't make a lot of money, but I've got a beautiful wife, a beautiful son, a beautiful dog, I say I'm the American Dream.
BUFFALO +3 denver For some reason I'm in love with the Bills this year. Marshawn Lynch and Lee Evans give them enough offensive firepower. And although J.P. Losman is shaky I don't expect Jay Cutler to be great yet. By the way, Chris "Mad Dog" Russo calls him J.P. Lonesome. There are four home underdogs this week and I expect at least one of them to win and since Cleveland, Green Bay and the Jets don't stand out for me, I like the Bills.
MINNESOTA -3 atlanta I think the Falcons are going to be the worst team in the league this year and it starts with week one. While I am not in love with Tavaris Jackson I don't think the coaching staff is either. That means he won't get the chance to kill the team by making mistakes. I think Adrian Peterson will have a great rookie season starting with 125 yards and 2 TDs in this game. The one variable I am not counting on is the reaction of the Falcons without Michael Vick. They could be bound together emotionally and come out fighting, or more likely, Vick is such a bad passer that anyone, even Joey Harrington qualifies as an improvement. Time will tell, but bad teams on the road, field goal or less, I'll take the favorite.
SAN DIEGO -6 chicago I just happen to think the Chargers are really awesome this year. I think they could be one of those really special teams that just dominates everyone all season and wins the Super Bowl easily. I know the Bears are good, especially on defense but Rex Grossman on the road against a pretty good defense in a game where a lot of points will be needed, well, I just don't trust Rex. The Bears will need to force a lot of turnovers and take an early lead or the Chargers will kill them, which is what I am predicting.
tampa bay +6 SEATTLE Not sure why I like this game, I just think Jeff Garcia is good enough to keep his team in the game and I think Cadillac Williams is healthy and even if they only get 2 TDs they should lose by a score of 21-17 or something comparable. But my confidence percentage on this game is very low, probably about 60%.
BEST BET detroit +2 1/2 OAKLAND I really think the Lions will have an explosive offense this season. And seeing as how the Raiders are starting Josh McCown I don't expect them to score more than 14 points. So if the Lions can score 12, they should cover this spread. Tatum Bell and Calvin Johnson should be good for one TD each and Roy Williams will get 100 yards to set up their TDs.
Paris Hilton is suing Hallmark because the company used her face and catchphrase "that's hot" (which she trademarked) on a greeting card. She's suing for $100,000 in damages and sales of the cards. She claims this is unauthorized commercial use of her name, likeness and trademark. Hallmark claims this is parody. I wonder if the precedent set when Michael Buffer controlled the use of "Let's Get Ready to Rumble" will be cited in this case.
Slutty 23 year old college student Kyla Ebbert was almost kicked off a Southwest Airlines flight due to her inappropriate dress. This is the outfit she claims she was wearing on the flight (I guarantee she wasn't wearing this sweater):
Southwest asked her to go home and change clothes and take a later flight but she talked her way onto the plane after agreeing to pull up her shirt and pull down her skirt.
Ebbert told her story to Matt Lauer on the Today show and she stood up to show off the offending outfit. When she sat back down the camera got a great shot right up her skirt (but she was wearing panties), which was edited out when the interview reaired in a later hour.
The star of High School Musical, Vanessa Hudgens is not quite living up to her Disney Channel image. The tawdry teenager who is dating her love interest (Zac Efron) from the movie took a nude photo of herself which of course surfaced on the internet. The picture - NSFW doesn't seem like a professional job, just like she was fooling around with someone who sold her out. A couple of things I noticed, first, she favors a bush, which goes against what most of Hollywood's hot young sluts are doing -- which is going bare down there. Second she is not even 19 yet so unless this picture was taken very recently, this picture may technically qualify as child porn.
Some fantasy, some straight football, here are my thoughts:
1) Marshawn Lynch will be a top 10 fantasy running back. 2) Lee Evans will have at least one 200 yard game this season. 3) The Colts will see a major dropoff this year. They might not even make the playoffs. They lost too many good defensive players. 4) The Detroit Lions will have an exciting offense (1,000 yard RB, 1,000 yard WR & 3,000 yard QB) but they'll still suck. 5) Stephen Jackson will fall well short of 2,500 total yards and 20 TDs. 6) Drew Bennett will have a better season for the Rams than Isaac Bruce. 7) Adrian Peterson will be the offensive rookie of the year. 8) The Falcons will win fewer games than the Raiders. 9) First and last in the NFC East will be separated by 3 games or fewer. 10) Andre Johnson will have 1,500 yards and 10 TDs. 11) Vince Young will continue to make strides but lack of a running game will keep Tennessee to 7 to 9 wins. 12) Matt Leinart will also have an excellent statistical season (3,000 yards, 2:1 TD to INT ratio), but the Cardinals will miss the playoffs. 13) There is only one reason the Chargers won't win the Super Bowl, Norv Turner. But because I think they are so good and so ready after last year's disappointment, I think they will win the Super Bowl in spite of Norv. 14) The Bears will not make it back to the Super Bowl because I don't think Grossman will solve his turnover problems. 15) Tampa Bay will be much improved with Jeff Garcia who is steady and Cadillac Williams who will have a good bounceback season after his sophomore jinx. 16) Seattle will represent the NFC in the Super Bowl again. Side note: in the NFL, NBA and MLB there is a major imbalance between the two leagues/conferences to the point that at least 3 teams from one league/conference are better than any from the other side. 17) The Patriots will play the Chargers in the playoffs again, this year it will be the AFC title game and it will be an epic matchup.
"Sorry Blame It On Me" - Akon This is Akon's apology to his wife, his mother, his fans, Gwen Stefani. But it doesn't sound very sincere. Maybe he means it when he's sorry for hurting his wife (he has 3, so I doubt it) and I bet he does mean it that he's sorry he hurt his mother, but he takes no responsibility for the other stuff. Saying "it's not my fault, it's your fault, but blame me anyway" is not a sincere apology. But it's a decent song.
Kobe Bryant and his wife, Vanessa, were at Friday night's grand opening of BLUSH Boutique Nightclub at the Wynn in Las Vegas, when he saw poker player Antonio "The Magician" Esfandiari buy two bottles of $1,400 Cristal champagne. According to sources inside the club, Kobe wasn't about to be shown up by some puny little card player -- and kicked in for five bottles. Antonio, who's used to upping the ante, then switched his order to ten! Go big or go home!
Kobe ended the competition when he purchased an astounding 15 bottles -- and then left the club!
This violent brawl broke out during one of the games of the Mets-Phillies series (one site says it was the 11-10 game but the video was clearly shot at night). It's hard to tell who started it and who's involved but I assume it was Mets vs. Phillies fans, at least at first. The best part comes when security thinks they have it broken up and then they get attacked. Listen for the ECW! chant.
Many Poopheads have expressed interest in coming over to meet Chase. We would love to have you all but we don't want a ton of people on the same night because it may be too much for the little guy and his big brother.
This weekend is for Kate's parents who have only made two short trips to see their grandson. But after that we have a bunch of free weekends (except for Yom Kippur) so just let me know when you want to come over.
Also, anyone who can come on a weeknight after work is welcome.
I know it seems weird to schedule visitation time with the little guy as if he is some kind of prisoner but it's the only way we're ever going to get to see all of you.
In an age when fantasy drafts are rescheduled for "Idols Live" concerts, and wives' birthday dinners, Mrs. Poop allowed me to do a draft for Master Bates on our second anniversary. We had planned a dinner (our first night out) for our anniversary and asked my parents to babysit Chase and Diesel. It would be our first night out in weeks. But then Master Bates called and said he couldn't do his draft and could I draft for him at 8pm. Mrs. Poop said it was no problem, we'd just go to an early dinner.
Jerry Lewis is getting old, very old. He's 81 now and clearly losing it. During his Labor Day Telethon seemingly out of nowhere, he called someone a fag.
When Jon Coutlangus entered the game for the Cincinnati Reds, Gary Cohen commented that you have to be careful how you pronounce it. Keith replied "that's a real tongue tier." I immediately called SCZA who laughed loudly then declared "only Keith Hernandez could get away with a pussy joke." Gary Cohen, SCZA and Mrs. Poop all giggled for the next few seconds.
