Disaster cake:
Dessert cake, this looks so awesome. I wish I had seen it four years ago:
Drunk bride and groom cake:
The bride fell down a hole cake:
The Beatles Yellow Submarine Cake:
Friday, September 18, 2009
Wedding Cakes
While nothing could top the dessert bar at the Focks wedding, here are some interesting wedding cakes I found, and supposedly all of them are real, not photoshopped.
Disaster cake:
Dessert cake, this looks so awesome. I wish I had seen it four years ago:
Drunk bride and groom cake:
The bride fell down a hole cake:
The Beatles Yellow Submarine Cake:
Disaster cake:
Dessert cake, this looks so awesome. I wish I had seen it four years ago:
Drunk bride and groom cake:
The bride fell down a hole cake:
The Beatles Yellow Submarine Cake:
Thursday, September 17, 2009
I Agree with Pres. Obama
A whole shitstorm erupted over these remarks because someone from ABC tweeted them out under Terry Moran's name when obviously the President meant the jackass comment to be off the record.
But the President should have some balls to come out and say "yeah I meant it, Kanye West is a jackass."
I can't imagine anyone could disagree.
Defending the Indefensible
It seems the whole world is up in arms over a somewhat tasteless column written by Mark Whicker of the Orange County Register.
As so often happens commentators try to outdo one another with their expressions of outrage, but it should be noted it was actual a smart, well-written, interesting column.
The premise was "let's catch up Jaycee Dugard on everything she missed in the sports world during her 18 years in captivity."
There were some smart lines in there like "Barry Bonds, wound up breaking Henry Aaron's home run record. How did such a skinny guy manage that? We'll deal with that later."
And "Michael Jordan did indeed win the big one, and five others."
Remember people thought Jordan wasn't a winner.
The only problem is Whicker approached it from the wrong direction. Instead of using her as a jumping-off point then saying "look how much the sporting world changed in the past 18 years" he seemed to be making fun of her plight.
Especially by ending on a new home run catchphrase, "congratulations, you left the yard."
As so often happens commentators try to outdo one another with their expressions of outrage, but it should be noted it was actual a smart, well-written, interesting column.
The premise was "let's catch up Jaycee Dugard on everything she missed in the sports world during her 18 years in captivity."
There were some smart lines in there like "Barry Bonds, wound up breaking Henry Aaron's home run record. How did such a skinny guy manage that? We'll deal with that later."
And "Michael Jordan did indeed win the big one, and five others."
Remember people thought Jordan wasn't a winner.
The only problem is Whicker approached it from the wrong direction. Instead of using her as a jumping-off point then saying "look how much the sporting world changed in the past 18 years" he seemed to be making fun of her plight.
Especially by ending on a new home run catchphrase, "congratulations, you left the yard."
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
What Do You Say?
If you were a boxer or MMA fighter which adjectives would you want the PA announcer to use before announcing your weight.
For instance, "fighting out of the blue corner, weighing in at a (insert answer here) 185 pounds..."
For instance, "fighting out of the blue corner, weighing in at a (insert answer here) 185 pounds..."
Assemblyman Spanky Duvall
California State Assemblyman Mike Duvall (he put the ass in assemblyman) learned about the dangers of an open mic.
Not realizing all the microphones in the room are on when the assembly is in session, Duvall was heard bragging about banging his mistress.
"She wears little eye-patch underwear," said Duvall, who is married with two children. "So, the other day she came here with her underwear, Thursday. And so, we had made love Wednesday--a lot! And so she'll, she's all, 'I am going up and down the stairs, and you're dripping out of me!' So messy!"
What the fuck is eyepatch underwear? And why doesn't this bitch clean herself up after intercourse. She walks around all day with this guy's jizz sliding down her leg?
He also bragged to his friend "'So, I am getting into spanking her. Yeah, I like it. I like spanking her. She goes, 'I know you like spanking me.' I said, 'Yeah! Because you're such a bad girl!'"
The woman is 36 year old Heidi DeJong Barsuglia. Duvall is 54. Barsuglia is a lobbyist, and as I mentioned, Duvall is a legislator.
The worst part of it is, Duvall was cheating on his mistress with another mistress.
In the same conversation he spoke of another woman, "Oh, yeah, Sher, Shar, Shar. Oh, she is hot! I talked to her yesterday. She goes, 'So are we finished?' I go, 'No, we're not finished.' I go, 'You know about the other one [Barsuglia], but she doesn't know about you!'"
Not realizing all the microphones in the room are on when the assembly is in session, Duvall was heard bragging about banging his mistress.
"She wears little eye-patch underwear," said Duvall, who is married with two children. "So, the other day she came here with her underwear, Thursday. And so, we had made love Wednesday--a lot! And so she'll, she's all, 'I am going up and down the stairs, and you're dripping out of me!' So messy!"
What the fuck is eyepatch underwear? And why doesn't this bitch clean herself up after intercourse. She walks around all day with this guy's jizz sliding down her leg?
He also bragged to his friend "'So, I am getting into spanking her. Yeah, I like it. I like spanking her. She goes, 'I know you like spanking me.' I said, 'Yeah! Because you're such a bad girl!'"
The woman is 36 year old Heidi DeJong Barsuglia. Duvall is 54. Barsuglia is a lobbyist, and as I mentioned, Duvall is a legislator.
The worst part of it is, Duvall was cheating on his mistress with another mistress.
In the same conversation he spoke of another woman, "Oh, yeah, Sher, Shar, Shar. Oh, she is hot! I talked to her yesterday. She goes, 'So are we finished?' I go, 'No, we're not finished.' I go, 'You know about the other one [Barsuglia], but she doesn't know about you!'"
What Do You Give Me For? May-May and Adrienne Bailon
This is the thinking person's WDYGMF.
Unlike the lowest common denominator WDYGMFs favored by TallSkott (who for years said every person with glasses looked like BC), you need to look at the big picture to get this one.
Every time Adrienne Bailon, Cheetah Girl and former girlfriend of Rob Kardashian comes on my TV, I shout "non-Asian May-May."
Being of different ethnicities the resemblance is less noticeable but if a keen observer like myself looks carefully you can see the shape of the face is the same, the features are the same, especially the chin and cheekbones.
Btw, this is how advanced facial recognition software works, it studied the shape of the face and the distance between certain features.
And if this poll doesn't go my way, I'll be buying some facial recognition software to prove it.
Unlike the lowest common denominator WDYGMFs favored by TallSkott (who for years said every person with glasses looked like BC), you need to look at the big picture to get this one.
Every time Adrienne Bailon, Cheetah Girl and former girlfriend of Rob Kardashian comes on my TV, I shout "non-Asian May-May."
Being of different ethnicities the resemblance is less noticeable but if a keen observer like myself looks carefully you can see the shape of the face is the same, the features are the same, especially the chin and cheekbones.
Btw, this is how advanced facial recognition software works, it studied the shape of the face and the distance between certain features.
And if this poll doesn't go my way, I'll be buying some facial recognition software to prove it.
I Will Kill Chase if He Ever Does This
This is why I am not taking Chase to a game until he is 5. Toddlers are too young to appreciate it.
This guy makes a great catch, wants to share the glory with his little girl and she throws the ball back.
What a disgrace!
But I guess it's to be expected from Phillies fans.
This guy makes a great catch, wants to share the glory with his little girl and she throws the ball back.
What a disgrace!
But I guess it's to be expected from Phillies fans.
Nobody Puts Baby in the Coroner
The world is still mourning the loss of Patrick Swayze who in his varied career played so many diverse characters he was bound to have done something you like.
That was the premise for this poll I posted last year when news of Swayze's cancer went public.
And thanks to "I Don't Care" by No Question, (a favorite of Bill and me) Swayze is forever immortalized in song.
That was the premise for this poll I posted last year when news of Swayze's cancer went public.
And thanks to "I Don't Care" by No Question, (a favorite of Bill and me) Swayze is forever immortalized in song.
Song of the Week
"Infinity 2008" - Guru Josh Project
Do you like hot chicks? Do you like sledgehammers? Do you like hot girls smashing stuff with sledgehammers? Yes, these are rhetorical questions.
Do you like hot chicks? Do you like sledgehammers? Do you like hot girls smashing stuff with sledgehammers? Yes, these are rhetorical questions.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
They Better Recognize
During the Illinois - Missouri game ESPN announcers Ron Franklin and Ed Cunningham showed a t-shirt worn by the sister of Missouri linebacker Sean Weatherspoon. The "hit list" included some of the more prominent quarterbacks on the Tigers schedule:
Maybe after two great games the announcers will start to recognize Zac Lee, starting quarterback at the University of Nebraska. Maybe they could start by studying the QB rating leaders. There's Zac's name, 7th out of 117.
For the record, Daryll Clark is 22, Colt McCoy is 29, Zac Robinson is 60 and Greg Paulus is 90.
I know Nebraska hasn't played anyone yet, but neither have most teams. Lee gets a chance to prove himself Saturday in the hostile environment in Blacksburg, Virginia against a tough Virginia Tech defense.
Maybe after two great games the announcers will start to recognize Zac Lee, starting quarterback at the University of Nebraska. Maybe they could start by studying the QB rating leaders. There's Zac's name, 7th out of 117.
For the record, Daryll Clark is 22, Colt McCoy is 29, Zac Robinson is 60 and Greg Paulus is 90.
I know Nebraska hasn't played anyone yet, but neither have most teams. Lee gets a chance to prove himself Saturday in the hostile environment in Blacksburg, Virginia against a tough Virginia Tech defense.
Anybody's Better Than Paula
I'm not exactly a huge fan of Ellen DeGeneres, but as the headline says, anybody's better than Paula.
Ellen will probably be similar to Paula in her unending cheerleading and positivity for the contestants, but I hope she will be different in several major ways:
1) Be able to say the word no. Even to the very worst auditions, the ones that weren't even serious, Paula couldn't formulate the word saying instead "I'm gonna have to pass.
2) Not be on drugs. Paula's antidepressants really screwed with her brain chemistry at times, turning her into a weeping mess.
3) Not take Simon's shit. I always hated when he would blow in Paula's ear or try to get her to use a random word like "maelstrom" in her comments.
I really don't care that Ellen has no musical background per se. Neither does Simon. And I don't think people really enjoyed or watched the show just to see Paula make a fool of herself.
I think Ellen will be a pretty good judge, and eventually force Kara out as well.
Ellen will probably be similar to Paula in her unending cheerleading and positivity for the contestants, but I hope she will be different in several major ways:
1) Be able to say the word no. Even to the very worst auditions, the ones that weren't even serious, Paula couldn't formulate the word saying instead "I'm gonna have to pass.
2) Not be on drugs. Paula's antidepressants really screwed with her brain chemistry at times, turning her into a weeping mess.
3) Not take Simon's shit. I always hated when he would blow in Paula's ear or try to get her to use a random word like "maelstrom" in her comments.
I really don't care that Ellen has no musical background per se. Neither does Simon. And I don't think people really enjoyed or watched the show just to see Paula make a fool of herself.
I think Ellen will be a pretty good judge, and eventually force Kara out as well.
Sasha Obama Hiding in the Oval Office
Cute picture of Sasha Obama hiding behind the couch in the Oval Office, sneaking up on President Obama.
It calls to mind this famous picture of JFK Jr.
It calls to mind this famous picture of JFK Jr.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Amazing Race
Two years ago I fell in love with Tiffany Michelle during her coverage of the World Series of Poker for pokernews.com.
Then I sent her an e-mail and she actually wrote me back.
And just a year later despite some early bad luck she had one of the best runs a female ever had at the Main Event.
Now Tiffany is hoping to set another standard for female achievement. Tiffany and her best friend Maria Ho (last woman standing in the 2007 Main Event) are hoping to be the first female team to win the Amazing Race.
When she sent out a cryptic tweet saying she would miss the Main Event for something very important, I didn't realize it would be something this cool.
Btw, Jems hates her because she called the clock on someone and gave her tablemates a lot of attitude, but that type of feistiness usually plays well in these high-intensity reality shows.
Then I sent her an e-mail and she actually wrote me back.
And just a year later despite some early bad luck she had one of the best runs a female ever had at the Main Event.
Now Tiffany is hoping to set another standard for female achievement. Tiffany and her best friend Maria Ho (last woman standing in the 2007 Main Event) are hoping to be the first female team to win the Amazing Race.
When she sent out a cryptic tweet saying she would miss the Main Event for something very important, I didn't realize it would be something this cool.
Btw, Jems hates her because she called the clock on someone and gave her tablemates a lot of attitude, but that type of feistiness usually plays well in these high-intensity reality shows.
Charo Gives Jerry Lewis a Lapdance
Despite the rough economy, Jerry Lewis was able to raise $60m in this year's MDA Telethon.
And while he did avoid fag jokes, he did have some other awkward moments:
And while he did avoid fag jokes, he did have some other awkward moments:
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Funny or Douchey?
We know SCZA loves Twitter, and we for damn sure know he loves attention, but I think he may have gone too far. He tweeted to Jets wide receiver Chansi Stuckey, telling Stuckey he had just drafted him in fantasy. When I invented the word "douchey" that's what I had in mind.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
What I Should Have Said Theater
This is what Ohio State Buckeyes quarterback Terrelle Pryor should have about the message he was trying to send by writing "Vick" on the eye black strip he wore during OSU's game against Navy:
"I just wanted to show support for the guy. Some people are saying he should never be allowed to play football again but I believe in second chances. He committed horrible acts but he paid his debt to society. He served nearly two years in prison. I'm glad he's getting a second chance and I support him in it and I hope he doesn't squander it."
You'd have to admit that's definitely better than what he did say:
"I know what happened with him and, I mean, I don't want to talk much. I'm just going to be very short and sweet with it. But I just feel he made his mistake and I think he just needs more support. Not everybody is the perfect person in the world. Everyone does -- kills people, murders people, steals from you, steals from me. I just feel that people need to give him a chance. I always looked up to Mike Vick and I always will, because I still think he is one of the best quarterbacks. I love Mike Vick."
"I just wanted to show support for the guy. Some people are saying he should never be allowed to play football again but I believe in second chances. He committed horrible acts but he paid his debt to society. He served nearly two years in prison. I'm glad he's getting a second chance and I support him in it and I hope he doesn't squander it."
You'd have to admit that's definitely better than what he did say:
"I know what happened with him and, I mean, I don't want to talk much. I'm just going to be very short and sweet with it. But I just feel he made his mistake and I think he just needs more support. Not everybody is the perfect person in the world. Everyone does -- kills people, murders people, steals from you, steals from me. I just feel that people need to give him a chance. I always looked up to Mike Vick and I always will, because I still think he is one of the best quarterbacks. I love Mike Vick."
Weekly Picks
A new season and a new start. First weeks are always difficult though because you don't always have a good idea of who is good and who isn't yet.
san diego -9 OAKLAND
I think the Raiders are going to be putrid again this year. And I picked the Chargers to win the Super Bowl. Because I think the Chargers can earn home field by beating up on their weak divisional foes. They always kill the Raiders. And if the Chargers do underachieve, as so often happens, they often wait until late in the season to disapppoint.
detroit +13 NEW ORLEANS
I think the hype surrounding the Lions winless season has helped push this spread up by about four points over where it should be. I would still take New Orleans in a knockout pool this week but this spread is large and the Saints defense isn't good enough to keep the Lions from putting up between 10 and 17 points. I'm expecting 24-13 here. But I am going against my rule not to pick an underdog unless you think they can win.
st. louis +8 SEATTLE
I really don't see any evidence the Seahawks are going to be any good this year. And the Rams will either be improved, or at least decent until they start to get injured again.
chicago +3 1/2 GREEN BAY
I refuse to underestimate the importance of Jay Cutler. I think he is going to have a huge psychological impact on this team, and on the field as well, making the receivers better and turning Matt Forte into a top back. I do like the Packers and think Aaron Rodgers is going to have a great season but that extra half point makes this game look juicy.
BEST BET
CINCINNATI -4 denver
I'm making this pick after watching the final episode of "Hard Knocks" so I might be a little biased. But this is more a selection against Denver, than in favor of Cincinnati. I think the Kyle Orton/Jay Cutler trade has been incorrectly analyzed in the same way people overstate the importance of wins for a baseball pitcher. You really think Jorge De La Rosa is having a better year than Zack Greinke? Throw in the fact that Josh McDaniels has completely botched his coaching chance and probably alienated his team, I see Denver having an historically bad season. Plus, Chad Ochocinco has a surprise for us.
san diego -9 OAKLAND
I think the Raiders are going to be putrid again this year. And I picked the Chargers to win the Super Bowl. Because I think the Chargers can earn home field by beating up on their weak divisional foes. They always kill the Raiders. And if the Chargers do underachieve, as so often happens, they often wait until late in the season to disapppoint.
detroit +13 NEW ORLEANS
I think the hype surrounding the Lions winless season has helped push this spread up by about four points over where it should be. I would still take New Orleans in a knockout pool this week but this spread is large and the Saints defense isn't good enough to keep the Lions from putting up between 10 and 17 points. I'm expecting 24-13 here. But I am going against my rule not to pick an underdog unless you think they can win.
st. louis +8 SEATTLE
I really don't see any evidence the Seahawks are going to be any good this year. And the Rams will either be improved, or at least decent until they start to get injured again.
chicago +3 1/2 GREEN BAY
I refuse to underestimate the importance of Jay Cutler. I think he is going to have a huge psychological impact on this team, and on the field as well, making the receivers better and turning Matt Forte into a top back. I do like the Packers and think Aaron Rodgers is going to have a great season but that extra half point makes this game look juicy.
BEST BET
CINCINNATI -4 denver
I'm making this pick after watching the final episode of "Hard Knocks" so I might be a little biased. But this is more a selection against Denver, than in favor of Cincinnati. I think the Kyle Orton/Jay Cutler trade has been incorrectly analyzed in the same way people overstate the importance of wins for a baseball pitcher. You really think Jorge De La Rosa is having a better year than Zack Greinke? Throw in the fact that Josh McDaniels has completely botched his coaching chance and probably alienated his team, I see Denver having an historically bad season. Plus, Chad Ochocinco has a surprise for us.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Things I Thought Today
Caster Semanya should not be allowed to run against women. She is a hermaphrodite but she has no ovaries or uterus. She has internal male organs which produce three times the amount of testosterone as an average female. She shouldn't be stripped of the medals she already won since she didn't cheat. But she should not be allowed to compete on equal footing with women.
*****
I met George Pataki. After years of saying "'ello Gubna" I finally got to say it to an actual Governor.
*****
I'm having a hard time determining which person put more premeditation in their career boosting moment, Erin Andrews or Rep. Joe Wilson. I think the answer is Erin Andrews because hers involved great planning. But Wilson doesn't look as good naked.
I know from experience dude.
*****
Megan Fox is hosting the season premiere of "Saturday Night Live" on September 26th. I might check that one out.
*****
On the World Series of Poker Jason Alexander said his favorite line from all 9 seasons of Seinfeld is: "Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?" That line of course occurred when George banged the cleaning lady on his desk and was confronted by his boss. George followed up with "Because if anyone had told me when I started here that kind of thing was frowned upon..."
*****
I met George Pataki. After years of saying "'ello Gubna" I finally got to say it to an actual Governor.
*****
I'm having a hard time determining which person put more premeditation in their career boosting moment, Erin Andrews or Rep. Joe Wilson. I think the answer is Erin Andrews because hers involved great planning. But Wilson doesn't look as good naked.
I know from experience dude.
*****
Megan Fox is hosting the season premiere of "Saturday Night Live" on September 26th. I might check that one out.
*****
On the World Series of Poker Jason Alexander said his favorite line from all 9 seasons of Seinfeld is: "Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?" That line of course occurred when George banged the cleaning lady on his desk and was confronted by his boss. George followed up with "Because if anyone had told me when I started here that kind of thing was frowned upon..."
9/11 Thoughts
I will always remember where I was that day and even 8 years later the anger and sadness I felt that day is just as vivid in my mind and in my heart.
And with the recent distressing news that a 9/11 denier was in our government, it's even more important to make sure we never forget what really happened that day.
And with the recent distressing news that a 9/11 denier was in our government, it's even more important to make sure we never forget what really happened that day.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
We Survived
The first day of school went very well. We dropped Chase off and he immediately ran to the back of the classroom and played with a toy. We put his stuff down and left quietly without fanfare. Mrs. Poop and I got a little sad, but I think it's absolutely normal.
The first month is only 90 minutes so it seemed as soon as we got home we had to go back and get him. Evidently, one mother was more impatient than we were because when we got back one kid was already gone, and several others were in the process of leaving.
Chase was in his chair eating raisins and crying. But the teacher said he didn't cry the whole time, not until the first mom came.
That's when he probably realized that we were gone.
But as soon as he saw us he lit up, said "all done raisins" and that's when I screwed up.
I picked up to give him a hug and he said "wash dishes."
So I jokingly said to Mrs. Poop, "they made him wash the dishes."
Well the teacher (Miss Joanne, there's also a Miss Rosanne, but Chase calls them both Miss Josanne) heard me and said "we don't make him do anything. We do have a play sink and he was probaly playing with that."
Then I think she realized I was joking because she said "but if he likes doing dishes he can come to my house."
But she also told us sometimes the second and third days at school are worse because the kids are more aware of what's happening.
So we'll see how that goes.
The first month is only 90 minutes so it seemed as soon as we got home we had to go back and get him. Evidently, one mother was more impatient than we were because when we got back one kid was already gone, and several others were in the process of leaving.
Chase was in his chair eating raisins and crying. But the teacher said he didn't cry the whole time, not until the first mom came.
That's when he probably realized that we were gone.
But as soon as he saw us he lit up, said "all done raisins" and that's when I screwed up.
I picked up to give him a hug and he said "wash dishes."
So I jokingly said to Mrs. Poop, "they made him wash the dishes."
Well the teacher (Miss Joanne, there's also a Miss Rosanne, but Chase calls them both Miss Josanne) heard me and said "we don't make him do anything. We do have a play sink and he was probaly playing with that."
Then I think she realized I was joking because she said "but if he likes doing dishes he can come to my house."
But she also told us sometimes the second and third days at school are worse because the kids are more aware of what's happening.
So we'll see how that goes.
I Think I Would Have to Agree
"Albert Pooh Holes is really, really good."
-Adam Wainwright, St. Louis Cardinals pitcher
Ok, so I took that a little out of context for humor. Here's Wainwright's full quote: "I don't know how anybody could ever be better than he is. Ever. No offense to Henry Aaron and all those guys. I'm sorry, Hank. But Albert Pujols is really, really good."
The Fantastic Pooh Holes is having a transcendant season, challenging for the Triple Crown. Excluding known steroid users his 2009 numbers may go down as the best year in the past 50 seasons.
-Adam Wainwright, St. Louis Cardinals pitcher
Ok, so I took that a little out of context for humor. Here's Wainwright's full quote: "I don't know how anybody could ever be better than he is. Ever. No offense to Henry Aaron and all those guys. I'm sorry, Hank. But Albert Pujols is really, really good."
The Fantastic Pooh Holes is having a transcendant season, challenging for the Triple Crown. Excluding known steroid users his 2009 numbers may go down as the best year in the past 50 seasons.
The Genius of Chase
Of all the wonderful parts of being a parent, the best part unquestionably is watching your child learn and grow.
I was cleaning out my drawer and threw an old pair of shorts from across the room, right into the garbage pail.
Chase, knowing clothes don't belong in the garbage, said "oopsies, oopsies, oopsies" then picked them up and put them in laundry hamper.
I was cleaning out my drawer and threw an old pair of shorts from across the room, right into the garbage pail.
Chase, knowing clothes don't belong in the garbage, said "oopsies, oopsies, oopsies" then picked them up and put them in laundry hamper.
Wednesday, September 09, 2009
Chase is Going to Preschool
I can't believe how time flies. He is already two years old, and now he's going to school. Tomorrow is Chase's first day of preschool. It will be pretty much the first time we have ever left him with anyone besides his grandparents.
2009 NFL Season Predictions
AFC East: New England
AFC North: Baltimore
AFC South: Tennessee
AFC West: San Diego
Wild cards: Pittsburgh, Buffalo
Conference Championship: San Diego over New England
NFC East: New York
NFC North: Chicago
NFC South: New Orleans
NFC West: Arizona
Wild cards: Green Bay, Dallas
Conference Championship: Chicago over New York
Super Bowl: San Diego over Chicago
NFL MVP: Jay Cutler
Offensive Player of the Year: Philip Rivers
Defensive Player of the Year: Shawne Merriman
Offensive Rookie of the Year: Mark Sanchez
Defensive Rookie of the Year: Brian Orakpo
Coach of the Year: Dick Jauron
Comeback Player of the Year: Tom Brady
Last year, only four of us played (and Bill didn't even do the individual awards) and none of us got a Super Bowl team right, and only one of us got any of the individual awards correct (Master Bates: Jerrod Mayo).
Hopefully this year we'll improve in participation and in performance.
Just copy my picks into the comments section then erase my choices and type your own.
AFC North: Baltimore
AFC South: Tennessee
AFC West: San Diego
Wild cards: Pittsburgh, Buffalo
Conference Championship: San Diego over New England
NFC East: New York
NFC North: Chicago
NFC South: New Orleans
NFC West: Arizona
Wild cards: Green Bay, Dallas
Conference Championship: Chicago over New York
Super Bowl: San Diego over Chicago
NFL MVP: Jay Cutler
Offensive Player of the Year: Philip Rivers
Defensive Player of the Year: Shawne Merriman
Offensive Rookie of the Year: Mark Sanchez
Defensive Rookie of the Year: Brian Orakpo
Coach of the Year: Dick Jauron
Comeback Player of the Year: Tom Brady
Last year, only four of us played (and Bill didn't even do the individual awards) and none of us got a Super Bowl team right, and only one of us got any of the individual awards correct (Master Bates: Jerrod Mayo).
Hopefully this year we'll improve in participation and in performance.
Just copy my picks into the comments section then erase my choices and type your own.
Song of the Week
"The Wonder of You" - Elvis Presley
Pretty much the entire song describes the way I feel about Mrs. Poop but especially
"I guess I'll never know
the reason why
you love me as you do
that's the wonder
the wonder of you."
Even more impressive is the use of correct grammar. Most people would say you love me like you do. But that's wrong, "as" is correct. This song is a throwback to an era before the Rolling Stones ruined grammar in music with "I can't get no satisfaction."
Pretty much the entire song describes the way I feel about Mrs. Poop but especially
"I guess I'll never know
the reason why
you love me as you do
that's the wonder
the wonder of you."
Even more impressive is the use of correct grammar. Most people would say you love me like you do. But that's wrong, "as" is correct. This song is a throwback to an era before the Rolling Stones ruined grammar in music with "I can't get no satisfaction."
Sunday, September 06, 2009
Focks Wedding
Matt and Julie looked cute enough to be the bride and groom on top of the wedding cake -- and short enough too. Badum chhh, thanks Juice.
The Focks affair was a delightful event at the Bethpage State Park, right near the famed Bethpage black course which occassionally hosts golf's US Open.
The grounds were so nice they elected an outdoor ceremony -- in the middle of August. Being the sweaty Jew that I am, I was schvitzing before the bride even made her way down the aisle. In retrospect it might have been our fault for choosing to sit on the empty side rather than the crowded side, which was crowded because it was in the shade.
I survived the ceremony, which was beautiful by the way and made it to the cocktail hour, thankfully. I have heard that the food was delicious, but I wouldn't know because I spent all my time at the mashed potatoes station. This is something I was praying would be at another wedding since I didn't really get to enjoy it at my own.
This would be just the beginning of the delicious food I would enjoy, but more on that later.
The fireworks really started when somehow Juice convinced Mrs. Poop to do a shot of Patron with him. Feeling left out the Juicette and I felt we had to one up them, so we did a shot -- and had sex.
Later Juice tried to order a huge round of Patron shots for all assembled until a woman intercepted a shot intended for her daughter, chastising Juice with a "she's only 16."
Later that same girl was telling Amber and I that her cell phone had been taken away because she went over her minutes and sent too many texts. Sounds like cute, very typical teenage girl behavior. Little did we know.
One of my favorite parts of a Jewish wedding is of course the Hora. Over the years TallSkott and I have become very good at orchestrating the lifting of the bride, groom and immediate family members in the chair. This time we were joined by TON and Juice making a very powerful quartet. We probably could have lifted Brock Lesnar, which is good because it seemed like just about everyone in the place got a ride.
One of the people we lifted -- I think (please forgive any inaccuraccies or omissions in this post, my memory is faulty and my notes were incomplete) was the mother of the groom [corrected: ok, we didn't lift her, the following is accurate anyway]. She was an occassional substitute teacher when I was in elementary school and she still carries those scars to this day. She confronted me about my behavior those many years ago and then proceeded to inform Mrs. Poop about what a "pain in the ass" I was. When I laughed and tried to convince I had changed and become a good man, she didn't seem convinced. Then I told her I had a son of my own now and would probably be cursed by him turning out just like I did, she said "you can't let him."
After that, I was kind of hot and tired again so I went to the bar for a beer and a shot or two.
Dinner, like the cocktail hour, was delicious. I had the filet mignon, Juice has the duck, which I assumed he liked because he screamed out "I want to fuck this duck" while eating.
After a good deal more dancing and partying and drinking, it was time for dessert. Fresh baked cookies, a sundae bar, and a whole bunch of other shit I don't remember eating or seeing because I was too drunk from the Patron, too full from the ice cream or perhaps both.
It started off with a crazed Amber licking sprinkles out of the palm of her hand and saying "they let you eat as many sprinkles as you want."
I then got my own sundae loaded with just about everything you can think of, M&Ms, gummi bears and who knows what else. I also had several chocolate chip cookies and a lemon sorbet to clean my pallette. I never even made it to the other side of the room.
Despite the great location, the great music and dancing and of course the great food, the best part of the Focks wedding was the great friends. The entire crew was there, so were all the ladies (including Mrs. Reissberg, less than two weeks after delivering Darren) and we all had a great time together.
Thanks to Matt and Julie.
The Focks affair was a delightful event at the Bethpage State Park, right near the famed Bethpage black course which occassionally hosts golf's US Open.
The grounds were so nice they elected an outdoor ceremony -- in the middle of August. Being the sweaty Jew that I am, I was schvitzing before the bride even made her way down the aisle. In retrospect it might have been our fault for choosing to sit on the empty side rather than the crowded side, which was crowded because it was in the shade.
I survived the ceremony, which was beautiful by the way and made it to the cocktail hour, thankfully. I have heard that the food was delicious, but I wouldn't know because I spent all my time at the mashed potatoes station. This is something I was praying would be at another wedding since I didn't really get to enjoy it at my own.
This would be just the beginning of the delicious food I would enjoy, but more on that later.
The fireworks really started when somehow Juice convinced Mrs. Poop to do a shot of Patron with him. Feeling left out the Juicette and I felt we had to one up them, so we did a shot -- and had sex.
Later Juice tried to order a huge round of Patron shots for all assembled until a woman intercepted a shot intended for her daughter, chastising Juice with a "she's only 16."
Later that same girl was telling Amber and I that her cell phone had been taken away because she went over her minutes and sent too many texts. Sounds like cute, very typical teenage girl behavior. Little did we know.
One of my favorite parts of a Jewish wedding is of course the Hora. Over the years TallSkott and I have become very good at orchestrating the lifting of the bride, groom and immediate family members in the chair. This time we were joined by TON and Juice making a very powerful quartet. We probably could have lifted Brock Lesnar, which is good because it seemed like just about everyone in the place got a ride.
One of the people we lifted -- I think (please forgive any inaccuraccies or omissions in this post, my memory is faulty and my notes were incomplete) was the mother of the groom [corrected: ok, we didn't lift her, the following is accurate anyway]. She was an occassional substitute teacher when I was in elementary school and she still carries those scars to this day. She confronted me about my behavior those many years ago and then proceeded to inform Mrs. Poop about what a "pain in the ass" I was. When I laughed and tried to convince I had changed and become a good man, she didn't seem convinced. Then I told her I had a son of my own now and would probably be cursed by him turning out just like I did, she said "you can't let him."
After that, I was kind of hot and tired again so I went to the bar for a beer and a shot or two.
Dinner, like the cocktail hour, was delicious. I had the filet mignon, Juice has the duck, which I assumed he liked because he screamed out "I want to fuck this duck" while eating.
After a good deal more dancing and partying and drinking, it was time for dessert. Fresh baked cookies, a sundae bar, and a whole bunch of other shit I don't remember eating or seeing because I was too drunk from the Patron, too full from the ice cream or perhaps both.
It started off with a crazed Amber licking sprinkles out of the palm of her hand and saying "they let you eat as many sprinkles as you want."
I then got my own sundae loaded with just about everything you can think of, M&Ms, gummi bears and who knows what else. I also had several chocolate chip cookies and a lemon sorbet to clean my pallette. I never even made it to the other side of the room.
Despite the great location, the great music and dancing and of course the great food, the best part of the Focks wedding was the great friends. The entire crew was there, so were all the ladies (including Mrs. Reissberg, less than two weeks after delivering Darren) and we all had a great time together.
Thanks to Matt and Julie.
Saturday, September 05, 2009
Today is the Day
Poopfest is finally here, today at 4pm.
See you then.
Guess which shirt I'll be wearing.
See you then.
Guess which shirt I'll be wearing.
Friday, September 04, 2009
Get in the Game
I signed up for four different ESPN.com games (college football challenge, college pickem, pigskin pickem and eliminator challenge).
I created groups for all four games, they're all called Paul's Poop and you should join me in them.
I created groups for all four games, they're all called Paul's Poop and you should join me in them.
The Koos is Going to the Hoosegow
Jerry Koosman, a member of the 1969 World Series champion "Miracle Mets," was sentenced to six months in prison for nonpayment of taxes.
Before being sentenced, Koosman who lives on income from Social Security and occasional appearance fees, apologized.
"Like most people in their sixties, I've made some bad decisions in my life. I shouldn't have listened to those people about the tax returns, but I did, and I take full responsibility," he said in court.
Judge Barbara Crabb of the U.S. District Court handed Koosman a six-month prison sentence and one year of supervised probation, calling his crime "a serious blemish on an otherwise outstanding life."
She told him he would have to work out his debts with U.S. tax authorities.
Koosman pleaded guilty in May to a tax evasion charge for failing to file federal tax returns between 2002 and 2004, defrauding the government out of as much as $80,000.
Koosman said he had researched tax laws and concluded that only federal workers, corporate employees and District of Columbia residents were subject to federal taxes, according to court papers.
I felt sorry for the Koos until I read that last paragraph, he used the Wesley Snipes defense? Dude, everyone has to pay taxes. Show me in the tax code where it says you don't have to pay taxes on income earned at card shows? Just because it's cash these guys seem to think they can get away with it. Insane.
And he was just at the '69 Mets celebration two weeks ago.
Before being sentenced, Koosman who lives on income from Social Security and occasional appearance fees, apologized.
"Like most people in their sixties, I've made some bad decisions in my life. I shouldn't have listened to those people about the tax returns, but I did, and I take full responsibility," he said in court.
Judge Barbara Crabb of the U.S. District Court handed Koosman a six-month prison sentence and one year of supervised probation, calling his crime "a serious blemish on an otherwise outstanding life."
She told him he would have to work out his debts with U.S. tax authorities.
Koosman pleaded guilty in May to a tax evasion charge for failing to file federal tax returns between 2002 and 2004, defrauding the government out of as much as $80,000.
Koosman said he had researched tax laws and concluded that only federal workers, corporate employees and District of Columbia residents were subject to federal taxes, according to court papers.
I felt sorry for the Koos until I read that last paragraph, he used the Wesley Snipes defense? Dude, everyone has to pay taxes. Show me in the tax code where it says you don't have to pay taxes on income earned at card shows? Just because it's cash these guys seem to think they can get away with it. Insane.
And he was just at the '69 Mets celebration two weeks ago.
Thursday, September 03, 2009
This is All I Know
Sharp-tongued radio host Don Imus has signed a multiyear deal with Fox Business Network to simulcast his popular radio program, the network announced today. Imus, who recently ended a similar arrangement with RFD-TV, a rural cable network, will join the FBN lineup Oct. 5.
“I love Fox,” Imus said in a statement. “Roger Ailes is the preeminent genius of American broadcasting. Who wouldn't want to do this?"
The network will air “Imus in the Morning” from 6 to 9 a.m., replacing part of “Fox Business Morning” and “Money for Breakfast.” Anchors Jenna Lee, Connell McShane and Ashley Webster will appear during Imus’ program to report on breaking financial news. Imus also plans to incorporate more business news into his program, which is syndicated by Citadel Media.
“We’re excited to welcome a renowned broadcaster like Don Imus to the Fox Business team,” said Kevin Magee, FBN’s executive vice president. “His 40 years of on-air experience combined with his superb interviewing skills and capitalist sensibilities will be a great addition to our lineup.”
As always, use discretion with your comments.
“I love Fox,” Imus said in a statement. “Roger Ailes is the preeminent genius of American broadcasting. Who wouldn't want to do this?"
The network will air “Imus in the Morning” from 6 to 9 a.m., replacing part of “Fox Business Morning” and “Money for Breakfast.” Anchors Jenna Lee, Connell McShane and Ashley Webster will appear during Imus’ program to report on breaking financial news. Imus also plans to incorporate more business news into his program, which is syndicated by Citadel Media.
“We’re excited to welcome a renowned broadcaster like Don Imus to the Fox Business team,” said Kevin Magee, FBN’s executive vice president. “His 40 years of on-air experience combined with his superb interviewing skills and capitalist sensibilities will be a great addition to our lineup.”
As always, use discretion with your comments.
Smarter Than the Average Bear
A bear wandered into a skate park in Colorado and couldn't get out.
Police dropped a ladder into the skate park then sat back and watched as the bear climbed it, then wandered off back into the woods where he came from.
Police dropped a ladder into the skate park then sat back and watched as the bear climbed it, then wandered off back into the woods where he came from.
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
Mem's Tax Dollars at Work
While Connecticut House Minority Leader Lawrence Cafero was speaking about the state's budget, two Democrats, Barbara Lambert and Jack Hennessy were playing solitaire.
And the guy behind them who was lucky enough to not have been seen in this photo, is checking out ESPN.com.
And the guy behind them who was lucky enough to not have been seen in this photo, is checking out ESPN.com.
Song of the Week
"I'm Still in Love With You" - New Edition
"I'm still the man for you
And I'm still the man that's true
And I'm still the man who's lucky
And I'm still in love with you."
"I'm still the man for you
And I'm still the man that's true
And I'm still the man who's lucky
And I'm still in love with you."
What Do You Give Me For? David Wright and the Great Gazoo
David Wright's new protective batting helmet kind of makes him look like the Great Gazoo from "The Flintstones."
Monday, August 31, 2009
And You Thought My Unicorns Were Bad
European candy company Haribo have received complaints that the pictures on the packages of its MAOAM (palindrome alert!) sour candies depict fruits engage in sex acts.
In one, a lime seems to be forcefully fucking a lemon. In another, that same lime is popping two cherries.
In one, a lime seems to be forcefully fucking a lemon. In another, that same lime is popping two cherries.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Thank God for Fake Tits
Mrs. Poop told me not to post this because she didn't think I could handle it with the delicacy it deserves.
By now you have heard about the grisly murder of model Jasmine Fiore by her crazed boyfriend Ryan Jenkins, a contestant on the reality show "Megan Wants a Millionaire."
I won't go into all the gory details but because the psycho murderer has removed her fingers and teeth authorities had to identify her body based on the serial numbers on her breast implants.
Another reason ladies should get fake titties.
By now you have heard about the grisly murder of model Jasmine Fiore by her crazed boyfriend Ryan Jenkins, a contestant on the reality show "Megan Wants a Millionaire."
I won't go into all the gory details but because the psycho murderer has removed her fingers and teeth authorities had to identify her body based on the serial numbers on her breast implants.
Another reason ladies should get fake titties.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Thank God for Mario Chalmers
News Memphis will vacate 38 wins and a Final Four four appearance was met with a shrug around college basketball circles.
Truth is, most top programs cheat in recruiting and seek to cover up academic failings as well. Point guard Derrick Rose had his SAT taken by someone else, therefore he's ineligble, therefore all those games he played in are stricken from the team's record.
But look at it this way: what if Mario Chalmers's shot didn't go in.
Instead of Memphis being one of nearly a dozen teams to vacate a Final Four appearance, they could have been the first team to vacate an NCAA title.
If that were the case NCAA rules state the team would be stripped of its title, the runner-up will not get elevated and there will be no champion for that year.
It's only a matter of time.
Truth is, most top programs cheat in recruiting and seek to cover up academic failings as well. Point guard Derrick Rose had his SAT taken by someone else, therefore he's ineligble, therefore all those games he played in are stricken from the team's record.
But look at it this way: what if Mario Chalmers's shot didn't go in.
Instead of Memphis being one of nearly a dozen teams to vacate a Final Four appearance, they could have been the first team to vacate an NCAA title.
If that were the case NCAA rules state the team would be stripped of its title, the runner-up will not get elevated and there will be no champion for that year.
It's only a matter of time.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Madoff's Gift to Mets Fans
Fred Wilpon may be forced to sell the Mets because of losses he suffered in the Bernie Madoff Ponzi Scheme.
Erin Arvedlund author of "Too Good to Be True," one of several recent books about Madoff says of a possible sale of the Mets, "It's a matter of when. It could be as soon as next year."
She says the Wilpons lost as much as $700m in Madoff-related investments.
The Wilpons have pegged their losses at $300m and said the losses were in other businesses and would have no impact on the operation of the Mets.
Many Mets fans have criticized the Wilpons for being frugal, dating all the way back to the A-Rod situation. I think the Wilpons have for the most part acted judiciously in their spending (they did sign Santana to the biggest contract ever given to a pitcher, and gave K-Rod $15m per year) but many fans want them to act spend the Yankees, and that is never going to happen.
Even though they are in the same city the Mets' revenue will always be much less.
Many fans wanted the team to sign Manny Ramirez and Orlando Hudson in the offseason, moves I would have liked as well. But it's hard to call them cheap with the third biggest payroll in the majors. What they should do is stop wasting money and guys like Carlos Delgado and Luis Castillo and probably even Oliver Perez (though I endorsed that move), so they can use it to sign good players.
That said, I would love to see an ownership change, preferably to someone who will give his underlings the time and money to build a powerhouse team over the long-term.
Erin Arvedlund author of "Too Good to Be True," one of several recent books about Madoff says of a possible sale of the Mets, "It's a matter of when. It could be as soon as next year."
She says the Wilpons lost as much as $700m in Madoff-related investments.
The Wilpons have pegged their losses at $300m and said the losses were in other businesses and would have no impact on the operation of the Mets.
Many Mets fans have criticized the Wilpons for being frugal, dating all the way back to the A-Rod situation. I think the Wilpons have for the most part acted judiciously in their spending (they did sign Santana to the biggest contract ever given to a pitcher, and gave K-Rod $15m per year) but many fans want them to act spend the Yankees, and that is never going to happen.
Even though they are in the same city the Mets' revenue will always be much less.
Many fans wanted the team to sign Manny Ramirez and Orlando Hudson in the offseason, moves I would have liked as well. But it's hard to call them cheap with the third biggest payroll in the majors. What they should do is stop wasting money and guys like Carlos Delgado and Luis Castillo and probably even Oliver Perez (though I endorsed that move), so they can use it to sign good players.
That said, I would love to see an ownership change, preferably to someone who will give his underlings the time and money to build a powerhouse team over the long-term.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Man or Lady?
South African sprinting sensation Caster Semenya is too good.
After blowing away the field in the 800m race, opponents questioned Semenya's performance.
Now Semenya is being tested -- not for drugs -- for a dick.
Or as one article put it "to see if she meets the qualifications to compete as a female."
I think the qualifications to compete as a female should be the presence of a vagina.
The questions about Semenya may seem insulting but they're pretty sensible when you consider she was a virtual unknown in January, and now she is the world champion. She also has some physical characteristics of a man (facial structure and build) and a deeper voice than most 18-year old girls.
There's a few scenarios possible here:
1) she's a girl, and this whole thing is very embarrassing for her
That's an open and shut scenario, apologize and let her run
2) she's a dude given female hormones so she can compete as a lady, which is obvious cheating
This seems most likely to me, and would probably show up on tests as having an unnaturally high level of testosterone
3) she was born as some kind of unusual but not entirely unheard of intersexed person
This is most intriguing, and perhaps entirely possible. She could have what is called "ambiguous genitalia," which is usually an enlarged clitoris. Then DNA tests would have to determine if she has XX or XY chromosomes and if that should be the determining factor in deciding her gender and qualifications for competition.
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After blowing away the field in the 800m race, opponents questioned Semenya's performance.
Now Semenya is being tested -- not for drugs -- for a dick.
Or as one article put it "to see if she meets the qualifications to compete as a female."
I think the qualifications to compete as a female should be the presence of a vagina.
The questions about Semenya may seem insulting but they're pretty sensible when you consider she was a virtual unknown in January, and now she is the world champion. She also has some physical characteristics of a man (facial structure and build) and a deeper voice than most 18-year old girls.
There's a few scenarios possible here:
1) she's a girl, and this whole thing is very embarrassing for her
That's an open and shut scenario, apologize and let her run
2) she's a dude given female hormones so she can compete as a lady, which is obvious cheating
This seems most likely to me, and would probably show up on tests as having an unnaturally high level of testosterone
3) she was born as some kind of unusual but not entirely unheard of intersexed person
This is most intriguing, and perhaps entirely possible. She could have what is called "ambiguous genitalia," which is usually an enlarged clitoris. Then DNA tests would have to determine if she has XX or XY chromosomes and if that should be the determining factor in deciding her gender and qualifications for competition.
.jpg)
Turning the Page to Poopfest
Now that Chase's birthday is out of the way I've turned my attention to Poopfest. I know a lot of you have told me in person you would be coming, but if you could be kind enough to reply in the comments section of this post, or the other one, I'd appreciate it because I really can't remember who told me what and Mrs. Poop is going to yell at me, and I'm not going to know how much food to buy.
If you haven't RSVPed by Monday I'm going to have to e-mail you to make sure you read this post.
Thanks.
Once again the date is September 5th, the time is 4pm and the address is being withheld but if you need it, please e-mail me.
If you haven't RSVPed by Monday I'm going to have to e-mail you to make sure you read this post.
Thanks.
Once again the date is September 5th, the time is 4pm and the address is being withheld but if you need it, please e-mail me.
Terry McDonnell Knows Which Way the Wind Blows
Interesting decision this week by Sports Illustrated managing editor Terry McDonnell. Not only did the magazine elect not to cover the Brett Favre return (maybe they felt burned by him, maybe they knew people were tired of the story, maybe they knew they'd be at least a week late on the story) but they actually put an image on the cover denoting it a "100% Favre-free issue."
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Can't Even Afford to Cry in Our Beer
The nation's top brewers plan to raise prices this fall.
Anheuser-Busch and MillerCoors both say they're going to raise prices.
Anheuser-Busch said in a statement it plans on raising prices on a majority of its volume in the bulk of its markets this fall to cover some increases in its costs.
Sales of Miller Lite -- MillerCoors' flagship -- and Bud Light -- the top brand for Anheuser-Busch -- have both been suffering amid the recession.
Prices across all beers, however, have been rising. In 2008 the price of beer, ale, and other malt beverages sold for at-home consumption rose 5.3 percent, according to the government's Consumer Price Index. As of July, prices on those same items were 4.6 percent higher than they were a year ago.
Anheuser-Busch and MillerCoors both say they're going to raise prices.
Anheuser-Busch said in a statement it plans on raising prices on a majority of its volume in the bulk of its markets this fall to cover some increases in its costs.
Sales of Miller Lite -- MillerCoors' flagship -- and Bud Light -- the top brand for Anheuser-Busch -- have both been suffering amid the recession.
Prices across all beers, however, have been rising. In 2008 the price of beer, ale, and other malt beverages sold for at-home consumption rose 5.3 percent, according to the government's Consumer Price Index. As of July, prices on those same items were 4.6 percent higher than they were a year ago.
Read This Before You Regurgitate the Populist Viewpoint
Everyone is going nuts about the severity of Plaxico Burress's prison sentence and comparing it to Donte Stallworth's.
First of all, when handing out sentences prosecutors don't (and shouldn't) consult the sentences given for completely different crimes in completely different states, just because the two defendants happen to be in the same profession.
Also, sentences are not based on the results of criminal activity, only on the criminal activity itself. There isn't (nor should there be) a "no harm, no foul" rule (or in this case, "harm only to you, no foul) in the sentencing guidelines. For example, should we only punish drunk drivers who get into accidents?
The fact is Burress brought a loaded gun (no safety), without proper permits town, into a crowded nightclub. He could have shot and killed an innocent person, which is why he had to go to jail. Maybe the length of his sentence is a bit severe, but you do the crime, you do the time.
As for Donte Stallworth, like everyone else I was outraged he only got 30 days (served 24, I believed) for killing someone. But there are some extenuating circumstances here. First and I believe most importantly, there is surveillance video tape of the accident, and it shows the victim, Mario Reyes, did in fact dart out in front of Stallworth's car, and he failed to use the crosswalk.
Now that doesn't absolve Stallworth of guilt for driving while intoxicated but it does complicate matters because perhaps the same accident would have occurred with a sober Stallworth behind the wheel. Or a sober me, or sober you.
Second, Stallworth paid an undisclosed (though presumably large) amount of money to the Reyes family in a civil settlement. While this feels unseemly, it works out best for both parties. The Reyeses, poor immigrants, lost their main breadwinner. He's never coming back whether Stallworth goes to jail for 30 days or 30 years. So why not let them be taken care of financially in retribution for this horrible accident.
To recap, Burress got a fair sentence -- maybe a little harsh -- Stallworth got a light sentence due to extenuating circumstances, but more importantly -- they have nothing to do with each other and once again the uneducated in the sports media have no idea what they are talking about.
First of all, when handing out sentences prosecutors don't (and shouldn't) consult the sentences given for completely different crimes in completely different states, just because the two defendants happen to be in the same profession.
Also, sentences are not based on the results of criminal activity, only on the criminal activity itself. There isn't (nor should there be) a "no harm, no foul" rule (or in this case, "harm only to you, no foul) in the sentencing guidelines. For example, should we only punish drunk drivers who get into accidents?
The fact is Burress brought a loaded gun (no safety), without proper permits town, into a crowded nightclub. He could have shot and killed an innocent person, which is why he had to go to jail. Maybe the length of his sentence is a bit severe, but you do the crime, you do the time.
As for Donte Stallworth, like everyone else I was outraged he only got 30 days (served 24, I believed) for killing someone. But there are some extenuating circumstances here. First and I believe most importantly, there is surveillance video tape of the accident, and it shows the victim, Mario Reyes, did in fact dart out in front of Stallworth's car, and he failed to use the crosswalk.
Now that doesn't absolve Stallworth of guilt for driving while intoxicated but it does complicate matters because perhaps the same accident would have occurred with a sober Stallworth behind the wheel. Or a sober me, or sober you.
Second, Stallworth paid an undisclosed (though presumably large) amount of money to the Reyes family in a civil settlement. While this feels unseemly, it works out best for both parties. The Reyeses, poor immigrants, lost their main breadwinner. He's never coming back whether Stallworth goes to jail for 30 days or 30 years. So why not let them be taken care of financially in retribution for this horrible accident.
To recap, Burress got a fair sentence -- maybe a little harsh -- Stallworth got a light sentence due to extenuating circumstances, but more importantly -- they have nothing to do with each other and once again the uneducated in the sports media have no idea what they are talking about.
Classic Poop: The Day I Met Senator Ted Kennedy
Originally posted on June 16, 2006:
Today I met Splash. Splash is the dog of Senator Ted Kennedy. Splash is the author of a new children's book, called "My Senator and Me." It's written from the dog's perspective so I guess its a good book for dogs to read also.
Sen. Kennedy was very gracious, standing up to greet us (even though he has a back problem) and introducing himself and his wife to all of us. The dogs (Splash's brother Sunny came too) sat at the Senator's feet while he was eating fruit, even tapping him on the leg to get some. When I asked what kind of dogs they are Senator Kennedy said "Portguese water dogs."
I said "those are the dogs they have in San Francisco..."
He said "yes, at the ballpark to fetch the balls from the water. They're very strong swimmers."
His wife then got the dogs to do a trick. She broke a biscuit in half, they immediately followed her. They both went from sitting to the down position. She placed the biscuit halves about 6 inches from their noses. They waited patiently. She clapped and they pounced. Great dogs.
During the interview Splash sat quietly under the Senator's feet and played with his tennis ball.
I really liked the Senator and it just goes to show that your impression of someone from the media can be totally wrong. Knowing about someone is not the same as knowing them. And just because you disagree with someone's politics doesn't mean that he is not a good person.
Today I met Splash. Splash is the dog of Senator Ted Kennedy. Splash is the author of a new children's book, called "My Senator and Me." It's written from the dog's perspective so I guess its a good book for dogs to read also.
Sen. Kennedy was very gracious, standing up to greet us (even though he has a back problem) and introducing himself and his wife to all of us. The dogs (Splash's brother Sunny came too) sat at the Senator's feet while he was eating fruit, even tapping him on the leg to get some. When I asked what kind of dogs they are Senator Kennedy said "Portguese water dogs."
I said "those are the dogs they have in San Francisco..."
He said "yes, at the ballpark to fetch the balls from the water. They're very strong swimmers."
His wife then got the dogs to do a trick. She broke a biscuit in half, they immediately followed her. They both went from sitting to the down position. She placed the biscuit halves about 6 inches from their noses. They waited patiently. She clapped and they pounced. Great dogs.
During the interview Splash sat quietly under the Senator's feet and played with his tennis ball.
I really liked the Senator and it just goes to show that your impression of someone from the media can be totally wrong. Knowing about someone is not the same as knowing them. And just because you disagree with someone's politics doesn't mean that he is not a good person.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Product Review: Bachman's Puzzlers
Bachman’s Pretzel Puzzlers are quite simply the world’s most delicious snack.
Bachman’s has some special formula for making pretzels (baking them in brick ovens) that is like no other pretzel. It has this delicious burned flavoring to it.
And the shape also makes them unique. They are in the shape of puzzle pieces (the logo for Autism Speaks), which makes them great for dipping. Chase likes them with hummus.
But the Autism tie-in also means 5% of the proceeds go towards Autism research.
So at the rate of two bags per week, $3 per bag, I spend $300 a year on them, and $15 goes to Autism Speaks. That makes me feel good.
Bachman’s has some special formula for making pretzels (baking them in brick ovens) that is like no other pretzel. It has this delicious burned flavoring to it.
And the shape also makes them unique. They are in the shape of puzzle pieces (the logo for Autism Speaks), which makes them great for dipping. Chase likes them with hummus.
But the Autism tie-in also means 5% of the proceeds go towards Autism research.
So at the rate of two bags per week, $3 per bag, I spend $300 a year on them, and $15 goes to Autism Speaks. That makes me feel good.
These are a Few of Mrs. Poop's Favorite Things
Rainbows, unicorns and me --- these are a few of Mrs. Poop's favorite things.
It Doesn't Seem Possible
Since no one is paying attention now might be a good time to point out some inconceivable occurences taking place during the dog days of this horrible Mets season.
Fernando Tatis is 1 for 33 with 2 outs and runners in scoring position.
As a team the Mets are 4 for 50 with the bases loaded and 2 outs.
Since June 1st, Johan Santana, one of the best second half pitchers ever, is 6-7 with a 4.03 ERA. Now he is likely out for the season with an elbow injury.
K-Rod started the season with a 0.59 ERA and 16 saves in 17 chances. The 17th chance being his first blown save, the one against the Yankees. Since then his ERA is 6.08 and he has blown four games and saved 11.
Gary Sheffield, a 40-year old on a team going nowhere reportedly demanded a contract extension because he was angry the Mets wouldn't let him go to the contending team that claimed him off waivers. When the Mets rejected his preposterous demand, he said he wanted to leave the team, but was bargained down to just sitting out one game.
Billy Wagner, another veteran playing out the string on a horrible team is expected to turn down a trade to the Boston Red Sox.
Oh yeah, the Mets also hit into a game-ending triple play, ending a chance to make an improbable comeback against the Phillies.
Fernando Tatis is 1 for 33 with 2 outs and runners in scoring position.
As a team the Mets are 4 for 50 with the bases loaded and 2 outs.
Since June 1st, Johan Santana, one of the best second half pitchers ever, is 6-7 with a 4.03 ERA. Now he is likely out for the season with an elbow injury.
K-Rod started the season with a 0.59 ERA and 16 saves in 17 chances. The 17th chance being his first blown save, the one against the Yankees. Since then his ERA is 6.08 and he has blown four games and saved 11.
Gary Sheffield, a 40-year old on a team going nowhere reportedly demanded a contract extension because he was angry the Mets wouldn't let him go to the contending team that claimed him off waivers. When the Mets rejected his preposterous demand, he said he wanted to leave the team, but was bargained down to just sitting out one game.
Billy Wagner, another veteran playing out the string on a horrible team is expected to turn down a trade to the Boston Red Sox.
Oh yeah, the Mets also hit into a game-ending triple play, ending a chance to make an improbable comeback against the Phillies.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Do Beautiful Women Date Fat Dudes?
Cringe-worthy interview between my girl Jamie-Lynn Sigler and an ABC News reporter who doesn't follow the gossip pages or realize that life imitates art.
A must watch!
Quick Fix: Do Pretty Women Date 'Fat'...
Shared via AddThis
A must watch!
Quick Fix: Do Pretty Women Date 'Fat'...
Shared via AddThis
Friday, August 21, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
New York's College Team
Apparently the taxi cabs ads aren't working because Syracuse University now has a new strategy to help it appeal to New York City.
Syracuse has agreed to play three home games against Notre Dame and Southern California over the next seven years in the new stadium at the Meadowlands.
The Orange will face USC in 2012 and Notre Dame in 2014 and 2016.
The new stadium will seat about 80,000 people, 30,000 more than capacity at the Carrier Dome, Syracuse's home field.
Now, there's two ways of looking at this. One, it'll be a great thing to get 80,000 people watching the Orange (probably get killed) against two national powers. But on the other hand, are you alienating the core upstate audience? Will season ticket sales be hurt in those years by taking the marquee game off the schedule.
Syracuse has agreed to play three home games against Notre Dame and Southern California over the next seven years in the new stadium at the Meadowlands.
The Orange will face USC in 2012 and Notre Dame in 2014 and 2016.
The new stadium will seat about 80,000 people, 30,000 more than capacity at the Carrier Dome, Syracuse's home field.
Now, there's two ways of looking at this. One, it'll be a great thing to get 80,000 people watching the Orange (probably get killed) against two national powers. But on the other hand, are you alienating the core upstate audience? Will season ticket sales be hurt in those years by taking the marquee game off the schedule.
SnoopCenter
I think Snoop Dogg might be slipping. He appeared on SportsCenter and had a pretty poor showing when asked to freestyle.
That was almost as bad when he was freestyling with Paris Hilton. Would it have killed him to throw in a couple athlete references like this classic freestyle from John Cena.
That was almost as bad when he was freestyling with Paris Hilton. Would it have killed him to throw in a couple athlete references like this classic freestyle from John Cena.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Erin Andrews Lives Out Her Locker Room Gang Bang Fantasy
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