Tournament Thoughts: Early Friday

#2 Villanova vs. #15 UNC-Asheville

Villanova playing like the top seed the purport to be. Asheville actually made some 3s and kept it close but then Nova buried them.

#7 Oregon State vs. #10 VCU

I've been waiting for this game. Because Oregon State has Gary Payton II and Stevie Thompson Jr.
And Stephen Thompson Sr., the former Syracuse star, is an assistant coach for the Beavers.

Gary Payton keeps a watchful eye from further away though, as a proud father and alumnus.

It looked like VCU was going to run away with this but then Oregon went on a 10-0 run in about two minutes to actually take the lead.

But then VCU forced some turnovers and made some 3s to put the game away.

Mo Allie-Cox is a monster. 6-foot-6, 260 el bees. If he were 3 or 4 inches taller he'd be a great NBA power forward in the Charles Oakley mold.

The Little Glove does look like a heck of a player though.

#4 California vs. #13 Hawaii

Crazy story about Cal assistant Yann Hufnagel who was fired this week for allegedly sexually harassing a reporter. She claims he wanted her to fuck him in exchange for access to the program and accurate information. She says he even gave her false stories as retribution once she rebuffed his advances. He basically admits he wanted to sleep with her but thought she was into him to and didn't harass her or retaliate.

California also has the son of a former NBA player.

Kameron Rooks in the son of former Dallas Mavericks center, Sean Rooks. I had so many of his Upper Deck rookie card.

Cal made a run but Hawaii would not go away. They kept forcing turnovers and Cal couldn't make shots.

The first real upset of the tournament so far.

#2 Michigan State vs. #15 Middle Tennessee

15-2 Middle Tennessee lead! What? Never would have predicted that. And even after Michigan State gathered themselves and got some baskets, the Blue Raiders kept playing.

Michigan State just incredibly sloppy with the ball and lazy on defense. They undermined their own runs with bad defense.

Every time Michigan State cut the lead Middle Tennessee came right back. Tremendous poise not rushing to shoot, but also not getting bad shots.

Amazing! This has to be the biggest upset in tournament history. All the other #2s that lost (Syracuse, Arizona, Iowa State, South Carolina, Georgetown) were not as big a favorite to make the Final Four and win it all than this Michigan State team was.

Tom Izzo is still a great coach, but this is a major blemish on his record.

How do you allow 90 points to a #15 seed? Wow!

This is great for Syracuse, increases their chances to win by about 100% or more, but this is really bad for my brackets. I don't think I had any without Michigan State in the Final Four and in most of them I had State winning it all.

#7 Iowa vs. #10 Temple

Definitely the right call on that controversial out of bounds play, went off the Temple player's leg.

Terrible late game execution by Iowa. They had so many empty possessions, missed free throws and then the dumbest foul in the history of the world. I wouldn't mind fouling a guy with the ball on the floor in a 3-point game, but once he shoots you get out of the way.

I love that play for a last-second shot. Drive hard to the basket get a shot up and crash for the rebound. Definitely got the shot off in the time but Woodbury definitely could have been called for a push in the back.

What a way to end a classic matchup of coaches named Fran.

#2 Oklahoma vs. #15 Cal State Bakersfield

There can't be two 15 over 2 seed upsets can there?

Oklahoma shut that down with a big run midway through the second half.

#5 Maryland vs. #12 South Dakota State

Maryland didn't want to be another a 5-12 victim.

Maryland is just one of those teams, lots of talent, don't always play well, but could be dangerous.

Great comeback by the Jackrabbits, but unfortunate that they couldn't even get a shot off with a chance to tie the game.

Tournament Thoughts: Syracuse vs. Dayton

First two shots are missed 3s by Cooney and Gbinije. Syracuse has no inside scoring, but they can't just settle for 3s. They need to drive and dish.

DaJuan Coleman can't catch a pass or make a layup. And he's often out of position defensively. The team might be better off without him next year.

The nets were too long? Who even makes extra long nets? For what purpose? And I see why that is less than optimal, but why would they have a major impact? A major distraction for shooters?

Billy wanted you all to see this:



Syracuse must make shots to win this game, or any game. They started off 1 for 9 and the 1 was a putback by Roberson. It took nearly 10 minutes to make a shot from beyond 2 feet.

Syracuse should not make this game a 3-point shooting contest because it's much easier to get open shots against this zone than Dayton's man defense.

Franklin Howard is now 1 for 16 on 3-point attempts this season.

Malachi Richardson was the best player in the first half. He kept the team in it when no one could make a shot.

Huge shot by Gbinije to give SU a 10-point lead with 15 minutes left.

Huge run of 3s to give SU a 26-5 start to the second half.

Interesting decision to leave Richardson in with 3 fouls and 16 minutes. The other option is Frank Howard who can't shoot, do I don't necessarily disagree with the decision. He ended up playing 8 more minutes before picking up his 4th, another dumb one, but he played a pick part of that huge SU run.

We entered the part of the game where Syracuse implements what I call the Jim Boeheim Memorial No Points Offense. Lots of teams do it, they try to bleed the clock, which is strategically sound, but they do it too well and end up getting bad shots. There has to be a balance between using time and still getting good shots.

Great game for Richardson, 21 points when he fouled out. Tyler Lydon was second with 14 points.

And Roberson was critical with 18 rebounds. One short of Derrick Coleman's school record for a tournament game, which game in the 1987 title game against Indiana.

Those three guys will all be back next year. Maybe there is hope for the future.

Two things I don't often get to say about Syracuse. They outrebounded their opponent by 20.
And they shot 87% from the line (20-23) while their opponent was 44% (9-19).

Huge victory to at least partially validate their inclusion to the tournament. But that's not important. What matters is beating Michigan State.

Final Score:
Syracuse 70 Dayton 51

Otto feels like break dancing

Tournament Thoughts: Late Thursday

#3 Miami vs. #14 Buffalo

Miami vs. Buffalo, reminds me of the AFC East.

Miami point guard Angel Rodriguez played for Kansas State in 2012 as a freshman in the tournament against Syracuse.

Buffalo just would not quit. Blake Hamilton with a big 3. Ian Eagle made a "Hamilton" joke at one point. I feel like most of the country has no fuckin clue what he was talking about.

But Miami eventually shut it down and won easily.

#1 North Carolina vs #16 Florida Gulf Coast

Some fools said that if a 1 is ever going to lose to a 16, this could be the time. I didn't think it was possible but FGCU certainly held their own.

UNC just has too much talent, especially up front to get upset by a 16.

#5 Indiana vs. #12 Chattanooga

I love Yogi Ferrell as a player. A great distributor.

His sister isn't as enamored with him as I am.
Her shirt said "Yogi isn't famous, he's my annoying brother."

#3 Utah #14 Fresno State

This was my upset special of the first round. 12-5s are so common they no longer count.

I always love seeing Larry Krystowiak roaming the sidelines for Utah.

Huge sequence that referees may have blown costing Fresno St. two points. With the score 47-40 Utah's Brandon Taylor is dribbling, loses his footing. Fresno State has the ball in frontcourt for an easy layup. Right before they lay it in they blew the whistle for a flagrant on Taylor who had grabbed the leg of a Bulldog while flat on his back. I think they're supposed to let the play conclude in that case, not sure of that rule however. But instead of the basket, 2 shots and the ball, they just got 2 shots and they ball, and missed one free throw.

Utah started the game leading 31-16. Fresno State came back with a 32-16 spurt to take a one-point lead.

But then Utah sealed it with a 20-5 run.

#6 Arizona vs. #11 Wichita St.

Wichita State is the best defensive team in the country. They play stifling D and on offense they give the ball to VanVleet and he dribbles around until he finds an open 3-point shooter. That's their game.

Sean Miller completely soaked through his shirt. Does this happen every game? Or is it particularly hot in there?

Arizona goes scoreless for 10 minutes, but trails by "only" 10. Nails 2 3-pointers and gets right back in the game.

Sean Miller got a warning about staying in the coach's box. I have complained about this for years. A rule that is NEVER enforced.

A lot of times conventional wisdom is wrong, especially on these NCAA tournament upsets. But this one looked a little too obvious. Poor Arizona. They didn't get screwed though, just unlucky. I do think Wichita State deserve some preferential treatment because of early-season injuries, but they weren't terribly underseeded, maybe a line or two. The committee cannot consider the past success of a program when seeding. And should not.

But this is only the beginning, a lot of people have them going a lot further, beating Miami and then maybe Villanova or the winner of Iowa vs Temple.

#4 Kentucky vs. #13 Stony Brook

This is not the Kentucky team many people thought they were picking. Pedigree means nothing when the entire team leaves for the pros every year. Tyler Ulis and Skal Labissiere are fine players but they are not Anthony Davis or Karl-Anthony Towns.
I picked them for the Final Four as a UNC alternative on one bracket, but I am little confidence in that pick.



#8 USC vs. #9 Providence

I hope everyone remembers USC coach Andy Enfield from his incredible run in the tournament with Florida Gulf Coast.

And his wife, Amanda Marcum Enfield, the former Maxim model.

Lewis Johnson drinking beet juice, hilarious!

Every time Providence needed a basket Kris Dunn was there. But he got in foul trouble and wasn't prudent enough with his aggressiveness, picking up a 4th with 7 minutes to go. Bur he nailed at least 3 3s when they needed them.

Wow, what a finish! USC just couldn't put them away, missed free throws, failure to grab loose balls. And then how do you let a guy slip under like that? Amazing play drawn up by Ed Cooley.

We're going to hear a lot of excuses about this Seton Hall loss: the altitude, yes Whitehead was sucking wind but Gonzaga (and all the other teams in Denver) are dealing with it too
fatigue after winning the Big East tournament, mostly bullshit, every team plays conference tournaments. It was 5 days ago
officiating, probably the most relevant, because it was uneven at times and the big men Seton Hall needed to defense Sabonnis and Wiltjer were in constant foul trouble

If anything, Seton Hall believed these excuses and felt and looked defeated very early on in this game.

But most likely Seton Hall just played an excellent team that was a bad matchup for them and they had a bad night, especially Whitehead, at the wrong time.

Tournament Thoughts - Early Thursday

#4 Duke vs. #13 UNC-Wilmington:


Duke's Brandon Ingram is 6-foot-9 and only 190 el bees. That is not a lot of el bees for someone that tall.

Speaking of el bees I wonder if Sports anchor at WECT (in Wilmington) John Smist is at this game.

It's a shame that Grayson Allen acted like such a dick, he really is a fine player.

Hard to say this about a Coach K team but Duke often looks disorganized on defense. Like they don't know where to be or aren't giving the effort needed to get there quickly. When Duke has been upset teams didn't slow the game down on them (Lehigh scored 75 in 2012, Mercer scored 78 in 2014).

They have a lot of similar sized athletes, but many of them overlap or completely lack a position.

I don't put too much stock in the motivational abilities of a fiery halftime speech, but Duke certainly came out playing tougher defense than they had in the first half.

Chase Jeter is the name of the child Mrs. Poop would have had if she had married her first choice.

UNCW on the other hand came out a little too aggressive. Their big man CJ Gettys fouled out with 10 minutes left, putting Duke in the bonus.

Great job by the Seahawks as they continued to make shots and put the pressure on Duke. But Duke responded, and when they were able to break they press they got a bunch of easy baskets because UNCW's rim protector had fouled out.
Tons of fouls called on both sides. The refs called it tight, which will surely be controversial, especially on some of the block/charges that were questionable.
#8 Texas Tech vs. #9 Butler: Good game between two good teams. Exactly what an 8-9 game should be.

Tech got an early lead. Butler fought back. When Butler made 3s, they had the advantage, when Tech was going inside they had the advantage. Butler just got hot from the outside late in the game.

Tubby Smith taking his 5th school to the touranemt: Tulsa, Georgia, Kentucky, Minnesota and now Texas Tech. He won at least 1 game with the first three, not Minnesota or Texas Tech yet.

#8 Colorado vs. #9 Connecticut:

UConn always seems to have these huge shot blockers who can't do much else. Hasheem Thabeet immediately comes to mind. Hopefully no one wastes the second pick in the NBA Draft on Amida Brimah.

It looked like Colorado was going to run away with it but they started getting sloppy with the ball and over about a minute stretch UConn cut a 9-point lead to 2. In all, it became a 24-7 run over 8 minutes.

And then it was UConn's turn to try to lose the game, but the Buffs ran out of time. I thought there was a missed foul when Colorado stole the ball down by 3, but it wasn't called and UConn stole it right back.

#4 Iowa State vs. #13 Iona
Iona tried to make a game of it but Iowa State just had too much size. And talented big men.

I really think the Cyclones are a sleeper Final Four team.

#5 Baylor vs. #12 Yale

Those heady Ivy Leaguers once again giving fits to a more athletic team from a big conference.

Interesting story surrounding Yale. Jack Montague was kicked off the team after being accused of sexual assault. He says it was consensual and the school is using him as a "whipping boy" to show they are tough on sexual assault cases.

The only thing more pompous than an Ivy League a capella group, except for an Ivy League a capella group called The Whiffenpoofs.

Yale has Trey Phills, the song of Bobby Phills, the former Hornets guard who got killed while racing his car with David Wesley. Trey was only 3.

With 15 minutes left, trailing by 3 Rico Geathers yelled at Taurean Waller-Prince and Prince shoved him.

First major upset. Another for the Ivies! Yale vs. Duke is a pretty intellectual matchup.

#1 Virginia vs. #16 Hampton

Typical 1 vs 16 matchup. The fact the Virginia won in a blowout doesn't say anything either way about what the team will do in the next game and down the road.

Crazy scene with Tony Bennett nearly passing out during the game. He said he was just dehydrated and that seems right. He seemed ok when he returned for the second half.

#1 Kansas vs. #16 Austin Peay

Similar story, nothing to see here, move along.

#5 Purdue vs. #12 Arkansas-Little Rock

What a comeback by Little Rock, amazing shot-making by Josh Hagans. Maybe a little Curry-inspired there, better to take a shot from a few feet farther out than to get closer and be closely guarded.

When people talk about the importance of guard play in the tournament they are referring to what happened at the end of this game. Purdue couldn't get the ball up the court and into their offense.

Terrible job by Little Rock wasting two possessions with a 1-point lead. You have to continue to attack! Every time they got a lead they killed the whole clock on their next possession and got lousy shots. They also committed two fouls with less than a minute left in overtime. You gotta be smarter than that!

He missed them both!

He fell!

Normally to be a great game you want to have good plays at the end of the game, but this was still exciting because of all the great shots that got them to this point.

What a great way to end the opening session.

12 seeds are 8-6 in the last 4 tournaments. And that includes zero upsets last year.

Upsets and Favorites

Before March Madness gets going I thought I would share some thoughts about the bracket, unfortunately all my thoughts seem to be taken by everyone else too. Kansas, UNC and Michigan State: Almost everyone is picking them for the Final Four and so am I.

Villanova and Virgina: Have recently been high seeds and always disappoint.

Oregon and Xavier: Good teams that are being overlooked because of their pedigree, or lack thereof, don't be surprised to see one in the Final Four.

Oklahoma: I really like this team but I am scared off by how much they rely on the 3-point shot. One bad game and you can lose to anyone.

Fourth Final Four team: If I choose Texas A&M I am going with the same four teams as Pres. Obama, which isn't bad politically, but it is bad strategically. So that leaves me with Duke, Baylor and Texas. I like Texas, but their best interior player, Cameron Ridley, is limited in how many minutes he can play. Believe it or not I'm going with Duke.

12 over 5 upsets: I do like Indiana and they suffered an upset on an unlucky shot in the Big Ten tournament. Baylor is playing Yale, and though Ivy teams do have a history of upsets and near-upsets, I don't think Yale has what it takes. That leaves South Dakota State over Maryland, and Arkansas-Little Rock over Purdue, so I am going to pick them both. UALR because they play a slow style that could breed an upset and SDSU because Maryland has a lot of talent but has terribly underachieved.

11 over 6 upsets: I like Texas and Notre Dame to advance, but I am picking against Seton Hall and Arizona. Seton Hall won a difficult conference and faces a Gonzaga team with a couple of good big men in Sabonis and Wiltjer. Arizona just got a tough draw vs. Wichita State. The Shockers got the 11 seed they deserved, maybe underseeded by a little, but they struggled with injuries so they're actually better than they appear. They play great defense (#1 in kenpom's AdjD) and have two great experienced player in Fred VanVleet and Ron Baker. And I actually have both those teams winning two games. Because...

14 over 3 upset: I am picking Fresno State to beat Utah. Utah is a 3-seed but ranked 28th by kenpom. But they were 13th in what the site classifies as luck. Their luck runs out.

13 over upset: Not picking any because they only one I kind of like is Iona vs Iowa State, but talented big men usually help stave off upsets.

10 or 7 over 2 upset: I am picking Iowa to knock off Villanova, setting up a matchup vs Wichita State in the Sweet 16 for the opportunity to play Kansas for a chance to go to the Final Four. You may remember the battle of Kansas from last year, when a big deal was made of the Jayhawks not playing the Shockers. Wichita State got them last year, the result could be different this time but I have Iowa disrupting it.

As for my pick to win it all. I am going with Tom Izzo and Denzel Valentine.

Song of the Week

"My House" - Flo Rida
This song has been the theme for college basketball all season.
It's the fourth major rap/hip-hop song to sample William Bell's "I Forgot to Be Your Lover".
We made the previous 3 a combined Song of the Week back in 2007.
And I recently learned Billy Idol did a version that is similar lyrically but not musically, called "To Be a Lover".

Pi Day Gets Even Better

When it comes to birthdays, especially in sports, December 30th is the undefeated, undisputed King of Birthdays with LeBron James, Tiger Woods and Sandy Koufax.
February 17th with Jim Brown and Michael Jordan is a close second.
But in the Poop house, it's all about March 14th.
Not only is it Pi Day, 3.14.
It is my all-time favorite player's birthday:

Kirby Puckett would be 55 were he still alive today.

It is also the birthday of Chase's favorite player:

Steph Curry turns 28 today.

And you haven't heard of her yet but you soon will, Simone Biles turns 19 today. She is likely going to be America's Sweetheart emerging from this year's Summer Olympics in Rio. She has won the all-around competition at the last 3 World Championships and is the prohibitive favorite to do so at the Olympics as well.

And if that's not enough, Albert Einstein was born on March 14, 1879, 137 years ago.

Paul Amon is Dead

The tugboat crewmember who died after the ship struck a barge and sank in the Hudson River early Saturday was identified as a Bayville man.

Emergency crews recovered the body of Paul Amon, 52, after the crash, near the Tappan Zee Bridge, Westchester County Executive Rob Astorino said at a news conference.

Two others on the 90-foot tugboat, named The Specialist, were missing.

At a previous briefing, Gov. Andrew Cuomo said the missing crewmembers were believed to be dead and state police were using sonar to pinpoint the location of the tug.

"You have three people who left for work, who aren't going to come home and that's what today is all about," Cuomo said. "Again, our thoughts and prayers are with the families."

Bracket Breakdown

Two big things are always debated right after the brackets are released:
The best teams to get in -- the #1 seeds -- and the worst teams to get in -- those final at-large berths.

I really have no problem with what they did at the top line, though I can quibble with Virginia over Michigan State, there really isn't much difference between 4 and 5 overall. They'll be able to settle their differences on the court. Michigan State beat UVa in the second round two straight years.

Some people have problems with Oregon, but it goes back to a misunderstanding about the strength of the Pac-12. They have 9 top 50 wins, 10 if you include a victory over #51 USC.

Now we get to the bubble teams. As usual the committee completely effed small conference teams that didn't win their conference tournaments. I like St. Bonaventure. They're in the 7th strongest league and finished 30th in RPI, making them the highest ranked team to get left out. And they have 3 Top 50 wins (St. Joseph's twice & Dayton). But surely they were hurt by losing to Davidson in the conference tournament and losing head-to-head to Syracuse earlier in the year.

A lot of people are also talking about Monmouth. They went 1-1 against the Top 50, beat Notre Dame, lost to Dayton and split against USC #51. And if you are hating on Syracuse for losing to #245 St. John's, how can you advocate for Monmouth, which lost to #222 Canisius, #214 Army & #228 Manhattan. But it would have been nice to see what their bench would have done deep in a close game.

St. Mary's another bubble team, beat Gonzaga twice (and nobody else), but not when it counted, as the Zags earned the WCC berth. And San Diego State, similar story, one big win (California) and a bunch of losses.

Granted Syracuse had a lot more chances against top teams and that's the rub of small conference teams versus the big boys.

But I think Vanderbilt might have an even worse resume than the Orange, 10 spots better in the RPI but only 2-7 against the top 50.

The committee says Tulsa was the last team in, and would have gotten bumped had Memphis earned an automatic bid, but with 4 top 50 wins, I still think they have a better resume than Vanderbilt.

Others are also clowning on Michigan, but at 21-12, 11 of their losses came against top-50 teams.

Overall, I am looking forward to the tournament as always. I don't think there is a clear favorite has there recently has been, but I also don't buy the hype that there are 15-20 teams that can win it all. I'm quite certain the champion is coming off the top 2 lines, but I also think there are upsets that will happen as well.

And March will always be madness.

Committee Does Boeheim a Favor

Syracuse made the tournament by the skin of their collective teeth (though not one of the last four at-large team) despite being the lowest rated team in the RPI (#72) to ever receive an at-large berth.
I don't agree with the decision and thought a bunch of horrible losses (St. John's & Georgetown especially and Clemson too) would have kept the Orange out. Especially because they lost 5 of their last 6 games including what I thought were play-in games against Florida State and Pittsburgh.
But as usual the committee chose to punish mid-major teams that didn't win their conference tournaments.
I'll assess that in another post and I'll conclude here with two things that worked in Syracuse's favor.
Possibly legitimate: Viewing the 4-5 stretch without Boeheim as if they'd lost a player to injury. With him they were 14-8, and were maybe given a little leeway on that regard.
The committee chairman says this was not a factor.
Very legitimate: Syracuse was 5-6 against the RPI top-50. That includes wins over Texas A&M, UConn, St. Bonaventure, Notre Dame & Duke. Obviously that had a serious weighting with the committee.

I feel happy that Trevor Cooney and Michael Gbinije get a chance to play in the tournament in their senior seasons.

Song of the Week

"Hello" - Joe
It used to be that when a black artist came out with a song, the record labels would immediately have a white person or group re-record so racist white folks would let their kids listen to it.
Things have changed a little since then. About 5 minutes after Adele released "Hello," Joe came out with his own R&B version, which isn't all that dissimilar to the original, except for the singer's voice.

Three Curry Commercials

A young Stephen Curry stars in a Burger King commercial with his father, Dell.



An older Stephen Curry does an hilarious "This is Sportscenter" commercial.



Not related to Stephen Curry directly but "the time he hit a 38-foot shot to win the game in overtime, and you wish at some point, at some moment in your life, that you could be that perfect too. And that's why you cheer for him. That's why you believe in heroes."

Kate Upton Loses Distant Relative

Billionaire nat gas driller and part owner of the Oklahoma City Thunder Aubrey McClendon died in a one-car accident.

He crashed into an embankment while traveling at a "high rate of speed" in Oklahoma City just after 9 a.m., said Capt. Paco Balderrama of the Oklahoma City Police Department. Flames engulfed McClendon's vehicle "immediately," and it was burnt so badly that police could not tell if he was wearing a seatbelt, he said.

"He pretty much drove straight into the wall," Balderrama said.

The day before, McClendon had been indicted for alleged price-fixing.

McClendon went to Duke and actually helped finance the legal defense for the wrongfully accused Duke lacrosse players.

It was at Duke that he met his wife Katie Upton. Her grandfather was one of the founders of Whirlpool. That same man is also the grandfather of Rep. Fred Upton and Jeff Upton.

Jeff Upton is the father of Kate Upton.


Here is a picture of Kate Upton with Aubrey McClendon at an Oklahoma City Thunder game.

Song of the Week

"Summer Breeze" - Isley Brothers
So many interesting covers we had to bleed over into March. Love what the Isleys did with this one. Staying true to the original while also making it sufficiently funky.

A Big Dropoff in Horsepower

Yoenis Cespedes downgraded horsepower on his latest method of transportation to Mets camp.
From 800 or so for his Lamborghini to 1.

Cespedes rode a horse. And even put on a cowboy hat. And he got Noah Syndergaard to ride with him.

Cespedes Isn't Cheap Either

For $27m the Mets bought themselves a power-hitting outfielder with a rocket arm.
Yoenis Cespedes turned around and spent a lot of that money and fancy cars and motorcycles (kinda), showing up for the first week of spring training in a different one every day.

Starting with a customized Polaris slingshot

Then it was a Lamborghini Aventador which allegedly spits fire out of the exhaust pipes like the Batmobile. He reported let a Mets staffer drive it to go get waffles.
The car reportedly costs more than $400,000.

Next up, an Alfa Romeo Competizione, which costs $250,000 and had been driven around by Wilmer Flores.

But those cars are so impractical, he needs something more down-to-earth, like this Jeep. Which after all the modifications (done by a company called "Avorza" whose name appears on several of these vehicles) cost a mere $80,000.

And then there's his Ford F-250 truck which had $30,000 of upgrades done by Avorza.

And finally, Cespedes rolled up in another Slingshot, this one likely for days when he's feeling down, because it's painted blue, as opposed to red.

Grayson Allen Does It Again

Duke's new white asshole Grayson Allen tripped another player.
Last time it was Louisville's Raymond Spalding.
This time it is Florida State's Xavier Rathan-Mayes.
With three seconds left in a 15 point game, Allen sticks his leg back to intentionally trip Rathan-Mayes.



The ACC issued a stern reprimand and Coach K stood by the decision not to suspend his star player.
Especially because this form of discipline worked the last time.
Coach K said this type of reprimand is the standard for a flagrant-1 foul, and that Allen shouldn't face more severe punishment than other players guilty of similar infractions.
But I think the thing he's missing here is that's it's his second time in short succession.
Had a player punched two opponents, surely he'd be suspended.
Committed two overly aggressive flagrant fouls, maybe not.
But anyone can see that this entitled prick needs a punishment more severe than a sharp rebuke.

Every Kid Deserves a Favorite Player

The best part about being a kid who loves sports is picking a favorite player.
I picked Kirby Puckett. The Concierge picked Latrell Sprewell and Vin Baker.
Chase has picked Stephen Curry.
We started to watch and like the Warriors last season, but all that has accelerated since we got a basketball hoop over the summer (and Chase spent a lot of time practicing his shot -- though he still can't make many on 10-foot rims) and the Warriors started their amazing run at the Bulls 72-10 NBA record.

We read articles about the Warriors and about Curry. Chase really liked the one comparing Curry to a ballet dancer.
He got a Curry jersey shirt for Hanukkah, which may set off a civil war in our house.

We were so excited when the Warriors decided to name their new arena after him.

When he had to a book report on a biography, Steph Curry was his first choice. When Mrs. Poop expressed skepticism, he said he would do Draymond Green instead.
We did find a book on Curry and he is reading it now and telling me all about Dell Curry's childhood.
And of course, we record late night games that are on TV and watch them the next day.
So it was that we were running around the living room, shouting at 10am on a Sunday morning after Curry drilled an amazing 38-footer in overtime to beat the Thunder.



Of course there is a danger, especially in this day and age of letting a kid fall so deeply in love with a player.
That player could end up on drugs, or on the front page of the paper for beating his wife.
But with Curry so far the worst thing he did was shimmy in front of the Hawks bench (which I showed Chase and told him not to emulate).

But perhaps the biggest reason Chase likes Curry is because of their size. They're both usually the smallest players on the floor.

But maybe with hard work Chase can learn to dribble, pass and even shoot like Steph Curry.

And that's why kids need heroes.

Song of the Week

"Big Yellow Taxi" - Counting Crows & Vanessa Carlton
We finish unusual covers month with this rendition of a Joni Mitchell classic. As much as I love Joni, this one feels a little whiny to me. Allegedly the song is about her trip to Hawaii, she wrote it from her hotel room, and it's one long complaint about how much nicer the place would be if they hadn't put a hotel there. Can't have your cake and eat it too, Joni.

3000 Words

Pablo Sandoval shows up for spring training in shape for the new season.

German short-haired pointer, CJ, wins best in show at Westminster

"These virtual reality headsets are so realistic. It feels as if Mark Zuckerberg is actually standing right next to me."

The Clippers Need to Sign Someone Named Stephanie

Not since the Kansas City Royals had Paulo (Orlando) and Yordano (Ventura) has Mama Poop been so excited about a pair of teammates.
But she loves the Los Angeles Clippers high-low pairing of (Chris) Paul and (DeAndre) Jordan.

There is a true story about Mama Poop wanting to buy 6 (or 7) Kirk Cousins jerseys for all her grandkids for one big photo shoot.
Master Bates rejected that idea (evil Giants fan) so now she is turning her attention to DeMarcus Cousins and hoping he gets traded to the Knicks (but not alongside Rudy Gay).

Song of the Week

"Stay" - RaVaughn
I don't like Rihanna, but I do enjoy this song, especially the way RaVaughn sings it.

Duke's Next White Prick

Throughout Duke's reign of terror as college basketball's most successful franchise, the school has always had hated white players.

Christian Laettner is most obvious but also JJ Reddick, Greg Paulus and others.

Here to take the mantle is Grayson Allen.

He's the guy who propelled Duke to the victory over Wisconsin in the National Championship game.

And now he is the guy who deliberately tripped a Louisville player

I Haven't Been to Red Lobster in a While

Red Lobster says it's seen an increase in sales since the release of Beyonce's new song "Formation."
Here's why:



For the hearing impaired, the lyrics go like this:

"When he fuck me good I take his ass to Red Lobster
When he fuck me good I take his ass to Red Lobster."

Red Lobster said sales surged 33 percent on Sunday, compared with last year’s Super Bowl Sunday.
“It’s clear that Beyoncé has helped create some Red Lobster fans,” Red Lobster’s chief, Kim Lopdrup, said in a statement.

Johnny Manziel Beats Up Really Hot Chick

Johnny Manziel is accused of beating his gorgeous ex-girlfriend Colleen Crowley, hitting her so hard he ruptured her eardrum.
According to the affidavit she filed to get a restraining order against him (she got it, he can't have contact with her for two years) they broke up in December but she agreed to sleep with him on January 29th of this year at his hotel in Dallas after a night of partying.

"Manziel and I made plans to meet up at Hotel ZaZa after my friends and I finished partying. We planned to spend the night together in his room there.
"Two of my friends and I drove my car to Hotel Zaza...The three of us went up to Manziel's room. After some discussion about further plans for the night my two friends left...I stayed there with Johnny Manziel.
"We started having a discussion about things I had heard earlier in the week about him being with a girl who had caused us problems in the past. I told him if I was going to spend the night it would be on the couch"

At this point she says he threw her on the bed and though he claimed it was playful she was scared and tried to leave. He wouldn't let her. Then he dragged her down the stairs to the valet.

"When we got to the valet, I was crying and begged the valet, "Please don't let him take me. I'm scared for my life." The valet replied, "I don't know what to do" and proceeded to let Manziel literally throw me in the front passenger seat of his car."

Poop's note: This valet is a fuckin moron. You don't know what to do? A woman is begging you to help her and you don't know what to do? Call the fuckin cops. Was this valet Mike McQueary?"

As he was pulling out she jumped out of the moving car, but he drove after and "he grabbed me by my hair and threw me back into the car and got back in himself. He hit me with his open hand on my left ear for jumping out of the car."

Eventually he drove back to her apartment, threatening to kill himself and maybe her as well.
A neighbor overheard the fight and intervened at which point Manziel ran away.

Song of the Week

"Be Right There" - Diplo featuring Sleepy Tom
Maybe not so much a cover as an "interpolation" of Jade's "Don't Walk Away."
But no matter what you call it, I like it.

Diesel is the Best Dog Ever

I miss my best friend.
Found this post I had never completed.
Seems like Subaru knows my life.

Your Mother and I are Going on a Crooooooze

When Papa Poop asked me to drive them to the port in Bayonne I never expected my parents would later become part of an international news story.
But there they were, shut in their state room on Royal Caribbean's Anthem of the Seas while the ship was rocked during a massive storm off the coast of North Carolina. Waves of 30 feet and wind gusts of at least 75 miles per hour were reported.
At about 3pm Sunday afternoon seas started getting rough and all passengers were asked to go to their rooms and stay there. I believe my parents were seeing a show at the time and dinner afterwards (Papa Poop had agreed to skip the Super Bowl).

So they stayed in their room with nothing to eat except the minibar. Papa Poop ate a Snickers bar, some M&Ms and some grapes for dinner during the game (the TV signal never went out) but poor Mama Poop didn't fare as well, getting seasick.

Today it was decided that the ship would skip their appointed route and turn around and come home because of the forecast of more bad weather. The ship was damaged but mostly superficial, nothing that would make the ship unsafe.

So Mama Poop isn't going to Cape Canaveral or the Bahamas and she's probably not going to take them up on their offer for another cruise at a 50% discount (though she will gladly accept the full refund for this aborted cruise).

But Monday afternoon they briefly had an open bar and a frozen margarita helped ease her nerves.

Mama Poop did say she was fine, but wants off the boat, but is accepting this as a free 4-day vacation.

She was actually planning to zipline too, but all activities of that sort have been canceled.

Maybe next time.

Next Year Have This Guy Sing the National Anthem at the Super Bowl

I've had enough of these diva singers dragging out the National Anthem and costing all us fine people who pick the under.
Next year, I vote for John Moschitta Jr. to sing the anthem. Here he is singing the first part of Michael Jackson's "Bad" in 20 seconds.



You probably remember this guy from a bunch of commercials he did in the 1980s, I remember the ones for Micro Machines.

Super Bowl L Prop Bets

We're going in with the attitude that the Panthers will win, win big and Peyton Manning will get beaten up and have a bad game.

First team to score 17 points
Panthers -170
I don't even think the Broncos will reach 17 points for the entire game

First turnover of the game
Interception -160
I expect Manning to throw at least 3

Will the game be decided by exactly 3 points
No -450
You think one of every 5 and half games ends by exactly 3 points? I don't and this one I consider even less likely to be so

Total Interceptions - Both teams
Over 1 1/2 -180
I would expect Manning to throw at least 2

Pick Your Own Point Spread
Carolina Panthers -13 1/2 +250
Interesting concept here, I like this idea though because I have the Panthers in a blowout.

Total Rushing Yards by Jonathan Stewart
Over 68 1/2 -110
This doesn't seem like a lot

Will Luke Kuechly intercept a pass
Yes +230
He has pick-6s in each of the last two games, plus the Thanksgiving game as well

Peyton Manning Pass Attempts
Over 35 1/2 -110

Will Peyton Manning throw an interception
Yes -210

Total Receiving Yards Demaryius Thomas
Over 72 1/2 +120

Odds for MVP
Cam Newton 5/7
Luke Kuechly 12/1
After Manning and Newton, Kuechly is the third choice. Surprising, but I guess I'm not the only one who thinks the Panthers defense is going to dominate

Player to Score First Touchdown
Ted Ginn 10/1
Newton likes him and Greg Olsen, I'll go with Ginn at slightly higher odds

Final score
Carolina wins by 25-29 Points 14/1

Now on to the fun stuff
Length of Lady Gaga's National Anthem
under 2:20 -120
I don't view her as someone who is going to painfully drag it out

What color footwear will Beyonce wear at halftime
Black +150
The obvious choice

"Yellow" is not the first Coldplay song -380
How can it not be "Skyful of Stars" does this band even have other popular songs?

Beyonce cleavage visible -275
She'll start covered up and then rip off her clothes to reveal some kind of weird top with mesh covering her boobies. But you'll see it and I'll win this wager

Weekly Picks

Lost track of the scoring but I know I have 46 points which is decent but not good enough.

BEST BET
CAROLINA -5 1/2 denver
Going a little chalky here but I just don't trust Peyton Manning. I really like Carolina and Cam Newton and I think this could be an old-fashioned blowout like we used to see in the 80s and 90s.

I Should Have Paid Better Attention in Mrs. Rosler's Class

The Mets are looking for Spanish language interpreter.

Here are the main job requirements:
Attend Mets Spring Training in Port St. Lucie, FL for all workouts and games.
Attend all Mets home and road games during the regular season, all Postseason games, and any other events to be covered by local or national media at which Mets uniformed personnel are present

Basically you get to go to every game and translate interviews for the Spanish-speaking players.
I would expect the Mets to get 1000s of applications for this job.
But it will probably go to a friend of Yoenis Cespedes and this whole process is a sham to satisfy some fair employment posting requirements.

Song of the Week

"No Diggity" - Chet Faker
I've been hearing a lot of weird cover versions lately. I plan to devote the entire month of February to them.

Song of the Week

"Blinded By the Light" - Manfred Mann's Earth Band
I know the lyric is "deuce" but he says "douche." Either intentionally or because of a speech disorder, but he says "douche."
Originally a Bruce Springsteen song, but he enunciated "deuce" so it never became popular.

Blake Griffin Breaks Hand on Equipment Manager's Face

"Los Angeles Clippers forward Blake Griffin injured his right hand after hitting a member of the team's equipment staff during an argument, multiple sources told ESPN's Michael Eaves.

According to the sources, Griffin and the equipment staffer got into an argument in a restaurant during the team's trip to Toronto. Griffin hit the man, who then left the restaurant and went outside. Griffin followed him outside and hit him again.

Griffin suffered a suspected fracture in his hand in the incident, sources told ESPN's Marc Stein and Ramona Shelburne early Tuesday morning.

The equipment staffer's face was injured, sources told Eaves. Both Griffin and the equipment staffer were sent home after the incident. Griffin and teammate DeAndre Jordan are good friends with the staffer involved in the incident, according to sources. Griffin, in fact, has vacationed with the staff member."

I can't wait to see who this equipment manager is, but I doubt he would be someone with whom Griffin could have a fair fight.
Apparently the team has not fired the equipment manager but I bet that is coming, along with a nice pile of cash for him to keep his mouth shut.
Pretty crazy though that the guy ran outside and Griffin followed him and beat on him some more.

Weekly Picks

Every year I lean towards the chalk. I pick 1 vs 2 in the championship games. This year I pick two 6s and what happens? 1 vs 2 in both conferences.

new england -3 DENVER

BEST BET
CAROLINA -3 arizona

Ambivalence

The Mets have signed Yoenis Cespedes for 3 years, $75 million, with $27.5 million in the first year and an opt-out for Cespedes after year 1.
I like the deal. I think the Mets got a good player for a short contract. It's a lot of money, but in baseball nowadays it's better to pay more money for fewer years, than to get a long-term discount.
The Mets get an excellent hitter, a right-handed power bat, something they didn't have.
If he hits the way he did last year for the Mets, at an MVP level, he will make the entire lineup better and be well worth the money.
And he will do it all while giving the Mets another year to evaluate Lagares and Conforto while not totally relying on them to perform.

BUT... This move really hurts the Mets defense. Lagares is a great centerfielder and Yoenis is a very good leftfielder. Cespedes is an average centerfielder and Conforto was good last year, but there's reason to believe he benefited from a small sample size.
The Mets are spending a lot of money on two bad defensive middle infielders (Cabrera & Walker) and weakening the outfield too might be a bad idea, especially in a big park.

Also, Cespedes is not as good as he was last year. His OPS in 2013 and 2014 were 736 and 751. Last year he improved to 870. If he reverts to sub-800, he would not have the positive impact we hope for. Also, he would not have the suitors next year and would like opt in for two more years with the Mets.

Lastly, I don't like his attitude. He's made some bone-headed plays and he doesn't always try hard.

In summary, if we get the Cespedes of late 2015, the Mets made a great move.
If we get the Cespedes of 2013 & 2014, we're stuck with a basically average outfielder at an exorbitant cost for 3 years.

Only time, and Cespedes will tell.

10% of People Surveyed Are Trolls

You may have heard the report that 10% of college graduates believe Judge Judy serves on the Supreme Court.
There is no way that is true. 10% probably never heard of her, were joking, thought the question was stupid.
And believe me, I am not overestimating the intelligence of the American public, or holding a college in degree in artificially high esteem. I just think these polls and questions are dumb and not taken seriously.

But the real reason I post this story is because Razor is actually a huge fan of Judge Judy's and wishes she did in fact serve on the Supreme Court.

Song of the Week

"Starlight" - Muse
I'm not a big fan of this music, so I can't tell you which came first, Muse or Coldplay, but they sound alike to me.
I do like this song but I'm willing to change my mind if I found out the lead singer married a douchey actress.

Weekly Picks

Lousy start to the playoffs.
The only game I got right was the only one I wanted to lose. Fuckin Steelers really pissed that one away.
And there are so many injuries this week that it's hard to figure out whom to pick.

NEW ENGLAND -4 1/2 kansas city
If Gronk plays they will win.

seattle +1 1/2 CAROLINA
I picked the Seahawks to win it all before the playoffs started so I'm sticking with them even though I wish I were getting 3 1/2 instead.

pittsburgh +7 1/2 DENVER
Very difficult to be confident in Pittsburgh without Antonio Brown and an injured Ben Roethlisberger but the Broncos do have problems of their own.

BEST BET
ARIZONA -7 green bay
I know the Packers exploded and destroyed my beloved Redskins last week but I still wasn't wowed by them, I think the Skins just choked and made bad plays and bad decisions.

Last week: 1-3 (0 points)
Season: 47-42 (43 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (9-9)

John Starks Wasn't Sure Either

Columbia University's basketball team played a team from Central Pennsylvania College over the weekend.
In advance of the game the Columbia Spectator wrote:

"...forward John Starks Jr.—son of former New York Knicks guard John Starks—is second on the squad with 17.1 points per contest. "

Only problem is, despite the name, he is not the son of that John Starks.

Columbia issued an apology.

What makes this even crazier is that when we were discussing this story, someone walked in with a brand new intern and said "this is Grant Hill."

Turns out this intern's father went to Duke, his name was Hill obviously, and Hill was a recent Duke star, so he named his son Grant.

Song of the Week

"Changes" - David Bowie
This is pretty much the only David Bowie song I know, because it was in "The Amazin Era," a recap of the first 25 years of the Mets existence, chronicling the part of their history when the Mets traded Tom Seaver and Dave Kingman on the same day.

Get Your Globes Out

Katy Perry joked that she had to "get my globes out" for the awards show.
And did she ever, winning this year's Poop Golden Globes Award.

Pissed Off

Poker legend Antonio Esfandiari was disqualified from a poker tournament for urinating at the table.
Esfandiari was involved in a large prop bet (rumored to be $50,000) with hedge fund manager and poker whale Bill Perkins.
Starting at midnight on Saturday, Esfandiari could not walk, he had to lunge everywhere for the next 48 hours.

He spent most of the first day lunging to the bathroom in his hotel room.
But Day 2 he had to play the $5,000 buy-in Main Event at the PCA (Pokerstars Caribbean Adventure).
He was allowed to take the shuttle from his hotel to where the tournament was being held, but had to lunge all the way to his table.
Well that walk evidently took a lot out of him, because at least 8 hours later his legs were so shot that he didn't think he could make it to the bathroom and back.
He got a bottle, a towel and a bunch of people to stand around him.
Someone saw, and he was disqualified from the tournament for "a major breach of etiquette."
Afterwards Antonio was apologetic. But not sorry for waiting out the rest of the bet on a couch with Sarah Herring.

Pulverized

On their first play from scrimmage in their Wild Card round matchup with the Redskins, the Green Bay Packers got 11 yards. On their next 12 plays, the Packers lost four yards.
During that time the Redskins took an 11-0 lead. But it was the points they didn't score that told the story.
Desean Jackson holding the ball behind him, instead of in front, costing the Redskins 4 points

Then Dustin Hopkins missed an extra point, so what should have been 16-0 was only 11-0.

And then the Packers woke up. Their next five drives resulted in 4 touchdowns, 1 2-point conversion and a field goal for 32 points.

The difference was not momentum or any psychological mumbo-jumbo you might here, it was strategic. The Packers went no-huddle and the Redskins were ill-prepared to deal with it. Twice they were caught substituting, both times drawing penalties, but even worse, the second time resulted in a touchdown.

They were also picked apart physically as Rodgers was zipping the ball all over the field for short passes that set up easy first-down conversions.

Another fatal error was a crucial fumble by Kirk Cousins when the Redskins led 11-7 and were driving.

While the defense was crumbling the offense suddenly became unable to move the ball with its previous efficiency.

And the field position game the Redskins had dominated turned against them as well.

This was an unfortunate way for a surprisingly good season to end.

The Redskins had been picked to finish last in the division by pretty much everyone, with record projections consistently between 2-14 and 4-12.

To be honest, the Redskins weren't that good. They were slightly better than the competition, losing all four games they played against winning teams (Panthers, Patriots, Jets and including this one against the Packers).

I'm still not sold on Kirk Cousins as a great NFL QB but the Redskins certainly did better when they unleashed him later in the season after running on first and second down every series for the first 6 weeks (or so it seemed).

But the Redskins definitely have to give Cousins a big contract and bring him back. With a solid offensive line and a talented group of backs and receivers, especially emerging star Jordan Reed, maybe Cousins can continue to improve.

The defense needs a lot of help, especially the linebackers and defensive backs.

But it was a fun season thanks to the shocking performance of Kirk Cousins on the field (best QB in the NFL over final 10 weeks) and in the bowels of the stadium.



And also the hilarious rotundity of video-bombing defensive tackle Chris Baker.

And I like that!

I Like That!

Kirk Cousins bought himself an old school starter jacket on eBay.
Not the cool solid-color hooded one like my beloved Minnesota Twins jacket, but the second generation which I believe was a pullover.
Still pretty cool for the quarterback of the Redskins to walk into the facility rocking this.

Weekly Picks

I am picking almost all the road teams to keep my streak going.

HOUSTON +3 kansas city

seattle -5 MINNESOTA

green bay +1 WASHINGTON

BEST BET
pittsburgh -3 CINCINNATI

Last week: 3-2 (4 points)
Season: 46-39 (43 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (9-8)
Home Favorites: 1-0 (15-17)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (1-2)
Road Favorites: 1-2 (18-13)
Road Underdogs: 1-0 (11-7)

*1 win is missing somehow, I can't find it

NFL Playoff Predictions

I'm going nuts this year, picking both #6 seeds to make the Super Bowl.

AFC
Pittsburgh Steelers over Cincinnati Bengals
Houston Texans over Kansas City Chiefs

Pittsburgh Steelers over Denver Broncos
New England Patriots over Houston Texans

Pittsburgh Steelers over New England Patriots
NFC
Seattle Seahawks over Minnesota Vikings
Green Bay Packers over Washington Redskins

Seattle Seahawks over Carolina Panthers
Arizona Cardinals over Green Bay Packers

Seattle Seahawks over Arizona Cardinals

Super Bowl L
Seattle Seahawks over Pittsburgh Steelers

3000 Words

Justin Timberlake, Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears and Ryan Gosling in the Mickey Mouse Club

Guy makes a portrait of Steph Curry out of salt.

Continuing in the tradition of Dingle-Berry, Short-White-Cox and Clark-Griswold, the Sacramento Kings show they're just like many of us: they have Gay-Cousins.

Song of the Week

"This Will Be" - Natalie Cole
Natalie Cole passed away recently of congestive heart failure at the age of 65.

This song has one of the best endings ever, I can't even do it justice in print, you just gotta listen. She runs off a bunch of verbs and other declaration says "love" 18 times and then about 10 "from now on"s.

New Year, New Adventures

I would like to start off 2016 by announcing the arrival of a new Baby Poop due in May.

Here's Chase and Julian's reaction when we told them.



"It's so crazy. I feel like it's not real."

We wanted to find out the gender, for obvious reasons, to figure out whether we needed to go out and buy a bunch of pink shit or just go up into the attic and bring down the blue shit.

So Mrs. Poop got the results of the test in an envelope, gave it to the people at Party City who filled an opaque black balloon with the corresponding color shredded paper.

We periscoped the big reveal:



Mrs. Poop was able to borrow an at-home Doppler, so here is the baby's heartbeat:



And to answer the question all of you are asking: No, it was not an accident or a surprise. This was the result of very careful planning.
We had to wait to buy a house to have another baby. We wanted to do DisneyWorld also. And Mrs. Poop had always wanted a May baby so she could have June, July and August off. Baby is due May 27th.

Weekly Picks

We're putting together a good run late in the season. Again watch out for this week's Steelers, the team that has a lot to play for, against a dead team, and loses anyway.

seattle +6 ARIZONA

new york jets -2 1/2 BUFFALO

pittsburgh -10 1/2 CLEVELAND

st. louis -3 SAN FRANCISCO

BEST BET
HOUSTON -6 1/2 jacksonville

Last week: 3-2 (4 points)
Season: 43-37 (43 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (8-8)
Home Favorites: 1-1 (14-17)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (1-2)
Road Favorites: 1-0 (17-11)
Road Underdogs: 1-1 (10-7)