The article foolishly credits an unusual shift in chicken pricing for the popularity of bonelessness.
The convenience, cleanliness and cool factor I've brought to boneless is what's really driving the trend.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Another Sociological Trend I Pioneered
Before I came along the whole world was eating chicken wings and getting sauce all over their fingers and faces. Then thanks to my OCD I started eating boneless buffalo wings. Now boneless has become such a trend there's a great article in the New York Times about the trend.
The article foolishly credits an unusual shift in chicken pricing for the popularity of bonelessness.
The convenience, cleanliness and cool factor I've brought to boneless is what's really driving the trend.
The article foolishly credits an unusual shift in chicken pricing for the popularity of bonelessness.
The convenience, cleanliness and cool factor I've brought to boneless is what's really driving the trend.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Not Sure Who is More Embarrassed About This One
MSNBC's Contessa Brewer makes an embarrassing mistake while introducing Jesse Jackson.
Jackson's face while waiting to correct her was priceless. I love the way she threw the producer/writer under the bus. And even if the script did say Sharpton she had to have known who was coming on.
Jackson's face while waiting to correct her was priceless. I love the way she threw the producer/writer under the bus. And even if the script did say Sharpton she had to have known who was coming on.
The Tubby Temptress
Whenever a sex scandal breaks the first thing everyone wants is pictures of the girl. Well Steve Phillips is likely to be more embarrassed by these photos today than he was about the birthmark revelation. The New York Post which has a bad habit of using the term "beauty" loosely when describing women used the term "Tubby Temptress" for Brooke Hundley. Even the Post can't put lipstick on this pig.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Steve Phillips Has a Birthmark Above His Penis
And also one on his inner thigh.
The former Mets GM who screwed Mets fans for years is now screwing Production Assistants at his new job calling games for ESPN.
During a road trip to St. Louis Phillips who is 46 slept with a 22-year-old PA named Brooke Hundley.
Phillips says he fucked her three times in total, and when he decided to break it off with her that's when things went crazy.
Hundley would call his house, she even showed up and backed her car into a stone wall while fleeing his wife. She stalked Phillips son on Facebook pretending to be his high school classmate.
Hundley sent this letter to Phillips's wife, telling her about their affair, their sexually explicit text messages and his desire to leave her.
As a means of proof she closed the letter with this: "Steve has a big birthmark on his crotch right above his penis and one on his left inner thigh, so you know I'm not being fake."
Phillips has done this before, banging a team employee while he was running the Mets.
Last time, his wife stood by him, this time Mrs. Phillips is filing for divorce. I hope she takes everything he's got, leaving him with nothing but a birthmark above his penis.
The former Mets GM who screwed Mets fans for years is now screwing Production Assistants at his new job calling games for ESPN.
During a road trip to St. Louis Phillips who is 46 slept with a 22-year-old PA named Brooke Hundley.
Phillips says he fucked her three times in total, and when he decided to break it off with her that's when things went crazy.
Hundley would call his house, she even showed up and backed her car into a stone wall while fleeing his wife. She stalked Phillips son on Facebook pretending to be his high school classmate.
Hundley sent this letter to Phillips's wife, telling her about their affair, their sexually explicit text messages and his desire to leave her.
As a means of proof she closed the letter with this: "Steve has a big birthmark on his crotch right above his penis and one on his left inner thigh, so you know I'm not being fake."
Phillips has done this before, banging a team employee while he was running the Mets.
Last time, his wife stood by him, this time Mrs. Phillips is filing for divorce. I hope she takes everything he's got, leaving him with nothing but a birthmark above his penis.
Song of the Week
"Something Happened on the Way to Heaven" - Phil Collins
There are so many great songs about couples fighting and breaking up but since Mrs. Poop and I seldom have a serious fight lasting longer than five minutes, I never get to post any of them.
Last night I picked a fight with her just so I could post this song.
"We've had our problems but I'm on your side."
There are so many great songs about couples fighting and breaking up but since Mrs. Poop and I seldom have a serious fight lasting longer than five minutes, I never get to post any of them.
Last night I picked a fight with her just so I could post this song.
"We've had our problems but I'm on your side."
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Paul From Staten Island
In "Big Fan" Patton Oswalt plays a sports-obsessed toll collector who calls talk radio shows as "Paul from Staten Island" and scripts what he is going to say.
The movie was only in very limited release (though it did play at The Atrium on Staten Island) so you might have to catch it on DVD. It got pretty good reviews and looks promising but it sort of calls to mind another movie with a similar plot and a similar name which is frequently discussed as one of the worst movies ever, "The Fan."
The movie was only in very limited release (though it did play at The Atrium on Staten Island) so you might have to catch it on DVD. It got pretty good reviews and looks promising but it sort of calls to mind another movie with a similar plot and a similar name which is frequently discussed as one of the worst movies ever, "The Fan."
Monday, October 19, 2009
This About Sums It Up
The Redskins are 2-4 despite having played only winless teams.
After the Giants in Week 1 the Reskins five oppponents have been St. Louis, Detroit, Tampa Bay, Carolina and Kansas City.
Those teams are 3-2 against the Redskins, 1-1 against each other and 0-22 against the rest of the league.
If the Redskins were just a reasonably bad team, instead of an historically bad one, they could easily be 5-1 at this point.
But their offense is so bad they can barely score a touchdown, settling for field goal after field goal when they do get lucky enough to get the ball into the red zone.
Jason Campbell is a big part of the problem. He just holds the ball too longm resulting in a ton of sacks. But watch Drew Brees, he throws the ball anticipating where his receiver will be. Campbell holds it until his receiver gets open, then holds it another second to make sure hs stays open, then gets sacked before he can release it. He's horrible and he'll never be a good NFL QB.
Jim Zorn is a shitty coach who is in way over his head and has too many responsibilities (until now where his play-calling duties were taken away).
Next year there will be no salary caps and I expect Daniel Snyder to spare no expense in trying to fix this team so the Redskins can be Super Bowl Champs during what would be the 2011 season (which will get canceled due to a labor dispute).
After the Giants in Week 1 the Reskins five oppponents have been St. Louis, Detroit, Tampa Bay, Carolina and Kansas City.
Those teams are 3-2 against the Redskins, 1-1 against each other and 0-22 against the rest of the league.
If the Redskins were just a reasonably bad team, instead of an historically bad one, they could easily be 5-1 at this point.
But their offense is so bad they can barely score a touchdown, settling for field goal after field goal when they do get lucky enough to get the ball into the red zone.
Jason Campbell is a big part of the problem. He just holds the ball too longm resulting in a ton of sacks. But watch Drew Brees, he throws the ball anticipating where his receiver will be. Campbell holds it until his receiver gets open, then holds it another second to make sure hs stays open, then gets sacked before he can release it. He's horrible and he'll never be a good NFL QB.
Jim Zorn is a shitty coach who is in way over his head and has too many responsibilities (until now where his play-calling duties were taken away).
Next year there will be no salary caps and I expect Daniel Snyder to spare no expense in trying to fix this team so the Redskins can be Super Bowl Champs during what would be the 2011 season (which will get canceled due to a labor dispute).
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Weekly Picks
If you take off that miserable first week I'm actually on fire, hitting 65% of my games over four weeks.
CINCINNATI -5 houston
According to NFL gambling lore, if two perfectly even teams were playing each other, the home team would be a three point favorite. If that's the case how are the Bengals not giving 7 to 10 points in this one?
new york giants +3 1/2 NEW ORLEANS
Perfect example of the above stated theory. The Saints are giving these points because they are the home team. It really doesn't make any sense though because the Giants are definitely the better team.
philadelphia -14 OAKLAND
No spread seems too big for the Raiders to lose by. And the Eagles have been doing a good job scoring points this year.
denver +3 1/2 SAN DIEGO
Another game, similar situation. Why would anyone believe the Chargers are a better team than the Broncos this year?
BEST BET
NEW ENGLAND -9 tennessee
Until the handicappers who set these lines figure out the Titans are not the same team they were when they were 13-3 last season, I'm going to keep picking against them, maybe as my best bet every week.
Last week: 2-3 (3 points)
Season: 13-12 (14 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (3-2)
Home Favorites: 0-0 (3-1)
Home Underdogs: 1-0 (1-0)
Road Favorites: 1-2 (5-6)
Road Underdogs: 1-0 (4-5)
CINCINNATI -5 houston
According to NFL gambling lore, if two perfectly even teams were playing each other, the home team would be a three point favorite. If that's the case how are the Bengals not giving 7 to 10 points in this one?
new york giants +3 1/2 NEW ORLEANS
Perfect example of the above stated theory. The Saints are giving these points because they are the home team. It really doesn't make any sense though because the Giants are definitely the better team.
philadelphia -14 OAKLAND
No spread seems too big for the Raiders to lose by. And the Eagles have been doing a good job scoring points this year.
denver +3 1/2 SAN DIEGO
Another game, similar situation. Why would anyone believe the Chargers are a better team than the Broncos this year?
BEST BET
NEW ENGLAND -9 tennessee
Until the handicappers who set these lines figure out the Titans are not the same team they were when they were 13-3 last season, I'm going to keep picking against them, maybe as my best bet every week.
Last week: 2-3 (3 points)
Season: 13-12 (14 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (3-2)
Home Favorites: 0-0 (3-1)
Home Underdogs: 1-0 (1-0)
Road Favorites: 1-2 (5-6)
Road Underdogs: 1-0 (4-5)
Friday, October 16, 2009
Big Fat Liar
Linda Brown rolls up to Burlington Coat Factory in Columbus, Ohio in a Hummer limo.
She tells everyone she just won $1.5 million in the lottery and has no family so she wants to use her newfound wealth to buy everyone a coat, up to $500.
People start going nuts in the store, grabbing everything they can find, and calling friends and relatives to come down and do the same.
Eventually it comes out that Brown is a liar. She didn't win the lottery, she doesn't have any money, and she's not paying for anything.
That set off a near-riot as people starting trashing the store and even stealing some of the things they thought they were going to get for free.
Brown's daughter says she thinks her mom must be off her medication.
Here's the video:
She tells everyone she just won $1.5 million in the lottery and has no family so she wants to use her newfound wealth to buy everyone a coat, up to $500.
People start going nuts in the store, grabbing everything they can find, and calling friends and relatives to come down and do the same.
Eventually it comes out that Brown is a liar. She didn't win the lottery, she doesn't have any money, and she's not paying for anything.
That set off a near-riot as people starting trashing the store and even stealing some of the things they thought they were going to get for free.
Brown's daughter says she thinks her mom must be off her medication.
Here's the video:
Thursday, October 15, 2009
The President Slept on the Couch
At the Latina Fiesta with a whole hot of Hispanic hotties in attendance (including J.lo and Eva Longoria) the President got himself in some hot water. He got up to dance with Thalia and I don't think Michelle was too happy with him.
Watch carefully when he sits back down at the table.
He tries to talk to her and she gives him the "I know you didn't just dance with that Hispanic hussy and fan yourself because she's hot. You are in b ig trouble when we get home mister" face.
Watch carefully when he sits back down at the table.
He tries to talk to her and she gives him the "I know you didn't just dance with that Hispanic hussy and fan yourself because she's hot. You are in b ig trouble when we get home mister" face.
Why Drunk Drivers Survive Crashes
It's been an often quoted adage that a drunk driver is more likely to survive a crash than sober people. Now there's proof this is not just an urban legend.
"Trauma patients who were drunk before they were injured were more likely to survive than sober trauma patients, U.S. researchers have found. Another recent study had a similar finding.
The latest study of 7,985 trauma patients found that 7% of sober patients died compared to 1% of intoxicated patients. All of the patients were of similar age and had similar injuries.
The findings appear in the October issue of the journal American Surgeon.
"This study is not encouraging the use of alcohol," principal investigator Dr. Christian de Virgilio of the Los Angeles Biomedical Research Institute at Harbor-UCLA Medical Center, said in a news release. "It is seeking to further explore earlier studies that had found alcohol may improve the body's response to severe injuries. If alcohol is proven to improve the body's response to traumatic injury, it could lead to treatments that help patients survive and recover more quickly."
It's believed that alcohol may reduce the risk of death by changing the body's chemical response to injury.
A study published in the September issue of the Archives of Surgery looked at more than 38,000 head trauma patients and found that the death rate was 7.7% for those who'd consumed alcohol and 9.7% for those who hadn't had alcohol."
"Trauma patients who were drunk before they were injured were more likely to survive than sober trauma patients, U.S. researchers have found. Another recent study had a similar finding.
The latest study of 7,985 trauma patients found that 7% of sober patients died compared to 1% of intoxicated patients. All of the patients were of similar age and had similar injuries.
The findings appear in the October issue of the journal American Surgeon.
"This study is not encouraging the use of alcohol," principal investigator Dr. Christian de Virgilio of the Los Angeles Biomedical Research Institute at Harbor-UCLA Medical Center, said in a news release. "It is seeking to further explore earlier studies that had found alcohol may improve the body's response to severe injuries. If alcohol is proven to improve the body's response to traumatic injury, it could lead to treatments that help patients survive and recover more quickly."
It's believed that alcohol may reduce the risk of death by changing the body's chemical response to injury.
A study published in the September issue of the Archives of Surgery looked at more than 38,000 head trauma patients and found that the death rate was 7.7% for those who'd consumed alcohol and 9.7% for those who hadn't had alcohol."
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Song of the Week
"To Live and Die in L.A." - 2Pac
For this week at least L.A. is my favorite city in the country as I root vehemently for an L.A. World Series to save me from the indignity of watching the Yankees and Phillies play each other for the title.
As if I wasn't sure before, that would be the final proof that The Universe hates Mets fans.
For this week at least L.A. is my favorite city in the country as I root vehemently for an L.A. World Series to save me from the indignity of watching the Yankees and Phillies play each other for the title.
As if I wasn't sure before, that would be the final proof that The Universe hates Mets fans.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Owen Schmitt is Certifiably Insane
Seattle Seahawks fullback Owen Schmitt is one crazy son of a bitch. The guy bloodied himself during the introductions on Sunday.
This is not the first time Schmitt went batshit crazy and hit himself on the head with a helmet. There are so many great stories about Schmitt. He would be the type of gritty, hard-nosed, make-the-most-of-limited-talent player I would love, if I didn't have the sneaking suspicion of steroid use.
This is not the first time Schmitt went batshit crazy and hit himself on the head with a helmet. There are so many great stories about Schmitt. He would be the type of gritty, hard-nosed, make-the-most-of-limited-talent player I would love, if I didn't have the sneaking suspicion of steroid use.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Adam Dunn Falls Short and Other Statistical Observations
Adam Dunn hit exactly 40 homers in each of the past four season, and after he hits his 37th on September 11 I thought he had a pretty good chance of making it five in row. But Dunn went into a horrible slump, hitting only one more home run in his last 19 games, a span of 64 at bats.
But one guy who never misses a chance to pad his stats is A-Rod. Because he missed 30 games or so early in the year his 11-year stretch of at least 30 homers and 100 RBI was in jeopardy. He needed 2 homers and 7 RBI on the season's final day. And wouldn't you know it, that's exactly what he got.
Joe Mauer won his third batting title. Most ever for a catcher. No other catcher has won even one since World War II. His .365 batting average is the highest ever for a catcher.
Mark Reynolds struck out 223 times in in 578 at bats. That breaks his own record of 204 set last year. Reynolds made out 425 times, 52% of those outs were by strikeout. But as Reynolds himself said "who cares?" Reynolds had 44 homers which is great but only 102 RBI, which is probably fewer than a guy who puts the ball in play more. He walked 76 times and had an .892 OPS, but numbers which are respectable. But here's where you really see the impact of his Ks: 3 sacrifice flies, and only 8 grounded into double plays.
On Opening Day Adam Lind had 6 RBI, putting him on pace for 972 for the season (and 162 homers). When I e-mailed TallSkott about Lind's remarkable pace he replied "On pace for 972, will end up with 50." Lind ended up with 35 homers and 114 RBI making him one of this season's biggest offensive surprises.
But one guy who never misses a chance to pad his stats is A-Rod. Because he missed 30 games or so early in the year his 11-year stretch of at least 30 homers and 100 RBI was in jeopardy. He needed 2 homers and 7 RBI on the season's final day. And wouldn't you know it, that's exactly what he got.
Joe Mauer won his third batting title. Most ever for a catcher. No other catcher has won even one since World War II. His .365 batting average is the highest ever for a catcher.
Mark Reynolds struck out 223 times in in 578 at bats. That breaks his own record of 204 set last year. Reynolds made out 425 times, 52% of those outs were by strikeout. But as Reynolds himself said "who cares?" Reynolds had 44 homers which is great but only 102 RBI, which is probably fewer than a guy who puts the ball in play more. He walked 76 times and had an .892 OPS, but numbers which are respectable. But here's where you really see the impact of his Ks: 3 sacrifice flies, and only 8 grounded into double plays.
On Opening Day Adam Lind had 6 RBI, putting him on pace for 972 for the season (and 162 homers). When I e-mailed TallSkott about Lind's remarkable pace he replied "On pace for 972, will end up with 50." Lind ended up with 35 homers and 114 RBI making him one of this season's biggest offensive surprises.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Weekly Picks
A decent week but three points is just treading water, I need to string together a few big weeks in a row.
KANSAS CITY +8 dallas
I haven't picked a home underdog at all this year and I think this spread gives us a chance to lose by a touchdown and still cover.
pittsburgh -10.5 DETROIT
The Lions have been putting up points and the Steelers have been giving them up in bunches, but something tells me the Steelers defense will toughen up this week, especially late with a big lead.
atlanta +2.5 SAN FRANCISCO
I've underestimated the 49ers a few times this year but I just don't trust Shaun Hill.
new england -3.5 DENVER
I said Denver would have a disastrous year and I was dead wrong. But that doesn't mean they are going to win every game and give up the fewest points ever. The Patriots have bounced back from their loss to the Jets and got a big win last week against the Ravens (thanks to some bad officiating and a drop by Mark Clayton) but I think they can go on the road and knock Denver down a peg. And if they should lose, I guarantee Belichick won't be shaking McDaniels's hand after the game.
BEST BET
indianapolis -3.5 TENNESSEE
Am I reading this right? The Colts are only giving up 3 and a half points to the Titans? Usually when a line seems like a typo I get scared and stay away from it. Not this time. This seems too juicy. You've got the Colts, maybe the best team in the NFL, led by Peyton Manning playing some of the best football of his career. Then you have the Titans who are giving up points by the bucketload and don't look anything like the team they were last year, or the team oddsmakers seem to think they are. I'd be shocked if the Colts didn't cover.
Last week: 2-3 (3 points)
Season: 10-10 (10 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (2-2)
Home Favorites: 1-0 (3-1)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (0-0)
Road Favorites: 1-1 (4-4)
Road Underdogs: 0-2 (3-5)
KANSAS CITY +8 dallas
I haven't picked a home underdog at all this year and I think this spread gives us a chance to lose by a touchdown and still cover.
pittsburgh -10.5 DETROIT
The Lions have been putting up points and the Steelers have been giving them up in bunches, but something tells me the Steelers defense will toughen up this week, especially late with a big lead.
atlanta +2.5 SAN FRANCISCO
I've underestimated the 49ers a few times this year but I just don't trust Shaun Hill.
new england -3.5 DENVER
I said Denver would have a disastrous year and I was dead wrong. But that doesn't mean they are going to win every game and give up the fewest points ever. The Patriots have bounced back from their loss to the Jets and got a big win last week against the Ravens (thanks to some bad officiating and a drop by Mark Clayton) but I think they can go on the road and knock Denver down a peg. And if they should lose, I guarantee Belichick won't be shaking McDaniels's hand after the game.
BEST BET
indianapolis -3.5 TENNESSEE
Am I reading this right? The Colts are only giving up 3 and a half points to the Titans? Usually when a line seems like a typo I get scared and stay away from it. Not this time. This seems too juicy. You've got the Colts, maybe the best team in the NFL, led by Peyton Manning playing some of the best football of his career. Then you have the Titans who are giving up points by the bucketload and don't look anything like the team they were last year, or the team oddsmakers seem to think they are. I'd be shocked if the Colts didn't cover.
Last week: 2-3 (3 points)
Season: 10-10 (10 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (2-2)
Home Favorites: 1-0 (3-1)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (0-0)
Road Favorites: 1-1 (4-4)
Road Underdogs: 0-2 (3-5)
Friday, October 09, 2009
There are Two Kinds of People in This Country
Americans are waking up this morning to learn President Obama won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize. The President was awarded the prize because of his "extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples."
Because the nation is very polarized right now I'm betting most people fall roughly in line with one of the following schools of thought.
"I'm glad the President was recognized for his efforts to restore America's image in the world."
Or
"He got the Nobel Peace Prize for going around the world and apologizing for everything America's ever done."
Because I try not to post too many things about politics on this blog, for months I never completed a post I started about President Obama. It was titled "Let's Not Start Sucking the President's Dick Quite Yet."
That's a bastardization of The Wolf's famous line from "Pulp Fiction" but it just means "maybe we're getting a little ahead of ourselves."
At the time I was inspired by an article suggesting in 50 years schoolchildren would be learning about Presidents Washington, Lincoln and Obama.
I'm sure no matter how you answered the above question you probably would agree that pronouncement and the Nobel Peace Prize may be a little premature.
Because The Wolf knew Vincent Vega and Jules Winnfield (and I guess President Obama too) did a great job cleaning up a mess, but congratulations don't come until we see results.
World peace is a results business.
Because the nation is very polarized right now I'm betting most people fall roughly in line with one of the following schools of thought.
"I'm glad the President was recognized for his efforts to restore America's image in the world."
Or
"He got the Nobel Peace Prize for going around the world and apologizing for everything America's ever done."
Because I try not to post too many things about politics on this blog, for months I never completed a post I started about President Obama. It was titled "Let's Not Start Sucking the President's Dick Quite Yet."
That's a bastardization of The Wolf's famous line from "Pulp Fiction" but it just means "maybe we're getting a little ahead of ourselves."
At the time I was inspired by an article suggesting in 50 years schoolchildren would be learning about Presidents Washington, Lincoln and Obama.
I'm sure no matter how you answered the above question you probably would agree that pronouncement and the Nobel Peace Prize may be a little premature.
Because The Wolf knew Vincent Vega and Jules Winnfield (and I guess President Obama too) did a great job cleaning up a mess, but congratulations don't come until we see results.
World peace is a results business.
Thursday, October 08, 2009
Best Captcha Ever
If you've ever posted a comment on this blog (and many of you haven't --- no matter how many times I beg) you might notice it requires you to type in what is called a "captcha."
It's basically a random sequence of letters but every so often it can be a real word -- or in this case, the name of someone special.
It's basically a random sequence of letters but every so often it can be a real word -- or in this case, the name of someone special.
Wednesday, October 07, 2009
That Would Get Me To Go To the Game
Troy University, in an effort to increase student attendance at its Tuesday night national TV game on ESPN used an interesting promotional campaign.
"Bear Woods is going to punch every student in the face who doesn't show up at the game," quarterback Levi Brown said.
Ok, so that's not an official school campaign, but it would still scare me enough.
"Bear Woods is going to punch every student in the face who doesn't show up at the game," quarterback Levi Brown said.
Ok, so that's not an official school campaign, but it would still scare me enough.
Baseball Playoff Predictions
Division Series:
Twins over Yankees in 4
Red Sox over Angels in 5
Phillies over Rockies in 4
Cardinals over Dodgers in 3
League Championship Series:
Red Sox over Twins in 5
Cardinals over Phillies in 7
World Series:
Cardinals over Red Sox in 6
Post your picks in the comments section
Twins over Yankees in 4
Red Sox over Angels in 5
Phillies over Rockies in 4
Cardinals over Dodgers in 3
League Championship Series:
Red Sox over Twins in 5
Cardinals over Phillies in 7
World Series:
Cardinals over Red Sox in 6
Post your picks in the comments section
I Hate Sports Cliches
One of the worst parts of being a sports fan in this day and age is having to listen to and read hundreds of writers and formers players spouting the same hackneyed cliches.
After that classic 1-game playoff between the Twins and the Tigers, everyone and their mother is saying the real winner of this game is the Yankees.
It's true the Twins are facing a difficult travel schedule and they won't be able to set their pitching rotation. And it's also true they will probably lose to the Yankees.
But if they do it will be because the Yankees are a better team.
If they don't, expect the same idiot analysts to say the Twins were the "hot" team and came in with all the "momentum" and having to wait two days actually hurt the Yankees.
After that classic 1-game playoff between the Twins and the Tigers, everyone and their mother is saying the real winner of this game is the Yankees.
It's true the Twins are facing a difficult travel schedule and they won't be able to set their pitching rotation. And it's also true they will probably lose to the Yankees.
But if they do it will be because the Yankees are a better team.
If they don't, expect the same idiot analysts to say the Twins were the "hot" team and came in with all the "momentum" and having to wait two days actually hurt the Yankees.
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Why is Master Bates Smiling?
Sports Illustrated's Jon Heyman reports the Mets will hire Wally Backman.
"The team now appears willing to give scrappy fan favorite Wally Backman a chance to return to baseball in a minor-league job. Backman has technically not been given a new position yet, but he's been told they'd like to hire him and have invited him for an interview that is expected to be a formality.
The Mets apparently will resist any temptation to immediately add Backman to the major-league staff.
The Mets fired a few minor-league coaches recently and have openings to fill there as well."
But that's not all the good news for MB.
The Marlins have had conversations with Bobby Valentine about a possible position within the organization.
Current manager Fredi Gonzalez is expected to be fired.
"The team now appears willing to give scrappy fan favorite Wally Backman a chance to return to baseball in a minor-league job. Backman has technically not been given a new position yet, but he's been told they'd like to hire him and have invited him for an interview that is expected to be a formality.
The Mets apparently will resist any temptation to immediately add Backman to the major-league staff.
The Mets fired a few minor-league coaches recently and have openings to fill there as well."
But that's not all the good news for MB.
The Marlins have had conversations with Bobby Valentine about a possible position within the organization.
Current manager Fredi Gonzalez is expected to be fired.
Saturday, October 03, 2009
Weekly Picks
Another good week until the Steelers choked away my perfect 6. Unfortunately losing 2 of 3 best bets makes my score look worse than it should be. I think I have a surefire best bet this week though.
baltimore +2 NEW ENGLAND
Something about this spread strikes me as off, which normally worries me. I know the Patriots somewhat shook off two bad weeks with a big win over the Falcons, but the Ravens have looked like the best team in the NFL so far. And they're getting points.
CHICAGO -10 detroit
I know the Lions won last week and they are on a roll. I know the Bears have gotten pretty lucky and could easily be 0-3. I know the spread is pretty big. But I still like Jay Cutler and I think the Lions chances of winning two in a row after a 19-game losing streak are pretty slim. And if I don't think the underdog can win, I will usually pick the favorite.
new york jets +7 NEW ORLEANS
I was looking at this game and couldn't quite decide who I thought was going to win. Sure the Saints look awesome, but I think the Jets look pretty good too. The Saints pretty clearly have the best offense in the NFL. But the Jets have a formidable defense, and good defense beats good offense. No, Mark Sanchez won't be able to keep up with Drew Brees but he won't have to. Getting a touchdown, I have to take the Jets.
cincinnati -6 CLEVELAND
Since they got their heart ripped out in week 1 the Bengals have rebounded nicely. The Browns are horrible and could be getting worse thanks to their horrible control freak coach whom they all hate.
BEST BET
new york giants -8 1/2 KANSAS CITY
I'm shocked this game is not a double digit spread. I see this game being a very similar game to the one the Giants played last week. A dominating performance on both sides of the ball.
Last week: 4-1 (3 points)
Season: 8-7 (7 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (1-2)
Home Favorites: 1-0 (2-1)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (0-0)
Road Favorites: 3-1 (3-3)
Road Underdogs: 3-0 (3-3)
baltimore +2 NEW ENGLAND
Something about this spread strikes me as off, which normally worries me. I know the Patriots somewhat shook off two bad weeks with a big win over the Falcons, but the Ravens have looked like the best team in the NFL so far. And they're getting points.
CHICAGO -10 detroit
I know the Lions won last week and they are on a roll. I know the Bears have gotten pretty lucky and could easily be 0-3. I know the spread is pretty big. But I still like Jay Cutler and I think the Lions chances of winning two in a row after a 19-game losing streak are pretty slim. And if I don't think the underdog can win, I will usually pick the favorite.
new york jets +7 NEW ORLEANS
I was looking at this game and couldn't quite decide who I thought was going to win. Sure the Saints look awesome, but I think the Jets look pretty good too. The Saints pretty clearly have the best offense in the NFL. But the Jets have a formidable defense, and good defense beats good offense. No, Mark Sanchez won't be able to keep up with Drew Brees but he won't have to. Getting a touchdown, I have to take the Jets.
cincinnati -6 CLEVELAND
Since they got their heart ripped out in week 1 the Bengals have rebounded nicely. The Browns are horrible and could be getting worse thanks to their horrible control freak coach whom they all hate.
BEST BET
new york giants -8 1/2 KANSAS CITY
I'm shocked this game is not a double digit spread. I see this game being a very similar game to the one the Giants played last week. A dominating performance on both sides of the ball.
Last week: 4-1 (3 points)
Season: 8-7 (7 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (1-2)
Home Favorites: 1-0 (2-1)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (0-0)
Road Favorites: 3-1 (3-3)
Road Underdogs: 3-0 (3-3)
Thursday, October 01, 2009
Turn-Ons: Walks in the Woods, Musicians (especially Saxophonists) and Sledgehammers
The first thing everyone says when they see the Infinity 2008 video is "who is that girl?"
She's a German model named Janina Wissler, and yes, she is smoking hot.
In fact, I think I could just post pictures of her face and everyone would say she's one of the hottest girls ever.
But that wouldn't be any fun.
She's a German model named Janina Wissler, and yes, she is smoking hot.
In fact, I think I could just post pictures of her face and everyone would say she's one of the hottest girls ever.
But that wouldn't be any fun.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Chase is a Model Student
For most kids the first days of preschool can be rough, not knowing if your parents are ever coming back.
But for Chase, he has adjusted to preschool with no problem, even though he'd basically spent the first two years of his life with me or Mrs. Poop constantly around.
Every time we go pick him up (best part of my crazy work schedule is being around at 11am to pick him up) the teachers offer other parents detailed explanations of their children's behavior: "he started to cry at 10:30 because he missed mommy."
But for Chase, all we get is "he was fine."
When I pressed the teacher for more information she basically said he never cries, never does anything wrong and he loves marching.
But for Chase, he has adjusted to preschool with no problem, even though he'd basically spent the first two years of his life with me or Mrs. Poop constantly around.
Every time we go pick him up (best part of my crazy work schedule is being around at 11am to pick him up) the teachers offer other parents detailed explanations of their children's behavior: "he started to cry at 10:30 because he missed mommy."
But for Chase, all we get is "he was fine."
When I pressed the teacher for more information she basically said he never cries, never does anything wrong and he loves marching.
What Do You Give Me For? Stedman Graham and Eric Holder
What do you give me for Attorney General Eric Holder and Oprah's beard Stedman Graham?
Song of the Week
"The Times They are A-Changin" - Bob Dylan
For a song written 45 years it pretty well describes what's going on in the country right now.
In fact, the same song could be written today, about today, but with a much different music video.
"Come Senators, Congressman
Please heed the call
Don't stand in the doorway
Don't block up the hall
For he that gets hurt
Will be he who has stalled
For the battle outside ragin
Will soon shake your windows and rattle your walls
The times they are a-changin"
For a song written 45 years it pretty well describes what's going on in the country right now.
In fact, the same song could be written today, about today, but with a much different music video.
"Come Senators, Congressman
Please heed the call
Don't stand in the doorway
Don't block up the hall
For he that gets hurt
Will be he who has stalled
For the battle outside ragin
Will soon shake your windows and rattle your walls
The times they are a-changin"
Monday, September 28, 2009
Where Were the Sign Police On This One?
After recent events you knew horny college kids would get creative with their signs on College Gameday. Even though ESPN does have a sign police, this type of thing is impossible to stop.
"Hey Erin, I eat pussy...well."
Kind of crude if you ask me. I still prefer the classic and clever Lee Corso sign.
Story suggested by Master Bates
"Hey Erin, I eat pussy...well."
Kind of crude if you ask me. I still prefer the classic and clever Lee Corso sign.
Story suggested by Master Bates
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Weekly Picks
A nice bounceback week thanks to some small underdogs that should have been favorites. Now I need another 5 or 6 points this week to erase the horror of Week 1. There are a lot of games I like which is usually a bad sign.
NEW YORK JETS -2 1/2 tennessee
Coming into the season there were probably higher expectations for the Titans than for the Jets. But it's possible last season the Titans overachieved thanks to Kerry Collins and turnovers. Two things that might not have carried over to this year. So I am going with my old theory, "Believe what you see, not what you believe."
green bay -6 1/2 ST. LOUIS
Here's a game I like. The Packers are better than they showed last week, I don't think they will lose to two bad teams in a row. I don't think the Rams are all that good either but they did almost win last week.
chicago -2 SEATTLE
I like the Bears, what can I say? They got a huge win against Pittsburgh and I think Cutler got his worst behind him with that horror show in week 1. I'm not impressed with the Seahawks at all, and think the Bears defense can shut them down.
denver -1 1/2 OAKLAND
I'm changing my mind on Denver really quickly this season. But I think JaMarcus Russell fuckin sucks. Although it is dangerous to see a guy play so poorly, then expect him to do the very same the following week.
BEST BET
pittsburgh -3 1/2 CINCINNATI
The Steelers are not losing two games in a row this early in the season. The fact that the spread is 3 1/2 scares me a little because so many games end up 3 point differences. But I trust the Steelers to totally clamp down on defense and win this game big.
Last week: 4-1 (5 points)
Season: 4-6 (4 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (1-1)
Home Favorites: 1-0 (1-1)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (0-0)
Road Favorites: 0-1 (0-2)
Road Underdogs: 3-0 (3-3)
NEW YORK JETS -2 1/2 tennessee
Coming into the season there were probably higher expectations for the Titans than for the Jets. But it's possible last season the Titans overachieved thanks to Kerry Collins and turnovers. Two things that might not have carried over to this year. So I am going with my old theory, "Believe what you see, not what you believe."
green bay -6 1/2 ST. LOUIS
Here's a game I like. The Packers are better than they showed last week, I don't think they will lose to two bad teams in a row. I don't think the Rams are all that good either but they did almost win last week.
chicago -2 SEATTLE
I like the Bears, what can I say? They got a huge win against Pittsburgh and I think Cutler got his worst behind him with that horror show in week 1. I'm not impressed with the Seahawks at all, and think the Bears defense can shut them down.
denver -1 1/2 OAKLAND
I'm changing my mind on Denver really quickly this season. But I think JaMarcus Russell fuckin sucks. Although it is dangerous to see a guy play so poorly, then expect him to do the very same the following week.
BEST BET
pittsburgh -3 1/2 CINCINNATI
The Steelers are not losing two games in a row this early in the season. The fact that the spread is 3 1/2 scares me a little because so many games end up 3 point differences. But I trust the Steelers to totally clamp down on defense and win this game big.
Last week: 4-1 (5 points)
Season: 4-6 (4 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (1-1)
Home Favorites: 1-0 (1-1)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (0-0)
Road Favorites: 0-1 (0-2)
Road Underdogs: 3-0 (3-3)
A Fitting Yom Kippur Story
Proud of his religion and worried about its future, Chicago dentist Max Feinberg wrote a will with an unusual catch: His grandchildren wouldn't inherit a penny if they married someone who wasn't Jewish.
His decision led to family feuds, lawsuits, counterclaims and, on Thursday, a unanimous ruling by the Illinois Supreme Court that Feinberg and his wife were within their rights to disinherit any grandchildren who married outside the faith.
"Equal protection does not require that all children be treated equally ... and the free exercise clause does not require a grandparent to treat grandchildren who reject his religious beliefs and customs in the same manner as he treats those who conform to his traditions," Justice Rita Garman wrote in a ruling that overturned decisions by two lower courts.
One disinherited granddaughter had argued it was improper for a will to set up conditions that promote religious intolerance in people's marriage decisions or even encouraged couples to divorce.
"It is at war with society's interest in eliminating bigotry and prejudice, and conflicts with modern moral standards of religious tolerance," said Michele Feinberg Trull's brief to the Supreme Court.
The court's ruling was based partly on technicalities in the way this estate was arranged. The court did not provide a broad ruling on whether similar religious restrictions would be valid under other circumstances.
The dispute has its roots in 1986, when Feinberg died.
He put his money into trusts for his family, but his will declared that any grandchild marrying someone who wasn't Jewish, or who didn't convert to Judaism, "shall be deemed to be deceased" and would inherit nothing.
Feinberg's will gave control of the trusts to his wife, Erla. When she died and the grandchildren were to inherit $250,000 each, she followed her husband's wishes and imposed the same restrictions.
By that time, four of the five grandchildren had married gentiles.
Erla Feinberg's death triggered a series of disputes. Trull accused her father and aunt, the Feinbergs' children, of mishandling the family money. In return, they tried to get the lawsuit dismissed on the grounds that the daughter was "dead" for purposes of inheritance and had no standing to sue.
So the courts had to decide whether it's acceptable for a will to base inheritance on someone's marriage and religion.
Feinberg's son, Michael, argues there's nothing wrong with it.
Michael, who stands to inherit more money if his children are cut out, argued in court documents that the will simply rewards the grandchildren who help preserve the "heritage and faith" his father loved.
His position won the support of several Jewish organizations, including Agudath Israel of America, a national Orthodox group.
David Zwiebel, executive vice president of Agudath Israel, said he didn't know of any other court rulings that directly address whether a will can tie inheritance to religious choices. Such restrictions aren't unusual, he said, because some people want to discourage intermarriage that is contributing to the declining number of Jews in America.
"There is a strong sense within certain segments of the Jewish community that in order to preserve the religious identity, it's important to promote marriage within the faith," Zwiebel said.
Michael Feinberg, who is the co-executor of his parent's estate, was pleased by the ruling but had no other comment, his attorney said. Trull's attorney said she was disappointed but looking forward to court action on her other legal claims.
The two sides of the family can't even agree on what to call the part of the will causing all the trouble. The granddaughter calls it "the Jewish clause." Her parents have adopted the phrase "religious preference clause."
The state Supreme Court based much of its decision on the fact that Erla Feinberg's will awarded set amounts of money based on the marriage status of the grandchildren at the time of her 2003 death -- either they qualified for the money or they didn't. The court said that meant the will didn't try to control what the grandchildren would do in the future and didn't offer any incentive for a particular couple to divorce.
A will that provided money year after year if the heir did not marry a gentile might not pass muster, the court suggested. That's because it would amount to a dead man trying to control actions for years to come and would encourage divorces so that people could claim an inheritance.
I honestly don't see what the legal dispute is here. To my knowledge, there isn't nor should there be a law restricting to whom and for what reason heirs are chosen.
This reminds me of how people often confuse the free speech debate. Free speech and equal protection are granted by the government. If this old coot wants to treat his grandchildren unequally, that should be his right.
You know how many root canals this poor schmoe had to do to earn this money.
He doesn't want some schicza with a cute nose marrying his grandson and using his hard-earned money to buy Christmas presents.
I can't believe the case even came this far.
His decision led to family feuds, lawsuits, counterclaims and, on Thursday, a unanimous ruling by the Illinois Supreme Court that Feinberg and his wife were within their rights to disinherit any grandchildren who married outside the faith.
"Equal protection does not require that all children be treated equally ... and the free exercise clause does not require a grandparent to treat grandchildren who reject his religious beliefs and customs in the same manner as he treats those who conform to his traditions," Justice Rita Garman wrote in a ruling that overturned decisions by two lower courts.
One disinherited granddaughter had argued it was improper for a will to set up conditions that promote religious intolerance in people's marriage decisions or even encouraged couples to divorce.
"It is at war with society's interest in eliminating bigotry and prejudice, and conflicts with modern moral standards of religious tolerance," said Michele Feinberg Trull's brief to the Supreme Court.
The court's ruling was based partly on technicalities in the way this estate was arranged. The court did not provide a broad ruling on whether similar religious restrictions would be valid under other circumstances.
The dispute has its roots in 1986, when Feinberg died.
He put his money into trusts for his family, but his will declared that any grandchild marrying someone who wasn't Jewish, or who didn't convert to Judaism, "shall be deemed to be deceased" and would inherit nothing.
Feinberg's will gave control of the trusts to his wife, Erla. When she died and the grandchildren were to inherit $250,000 each, she followed her husband's wishes and imposed the same restrictions.
By that time, four of the five grandchildren had married gentiles.
Erla Feinberg's death triggered a series of disputes. Trull accused her father and aunt, the Feinbergs' children, of mishandling the family money. In return, they tried to get the lawsuit dismissed on the grounds that the daughter was "dead" for purposes of inheritance and had no standing to sue.
So the courts had to decide whether it's acceptable for a will to base inheritance on someone's marriage and religion.
Feinberg's son, Michael, argues there's nothing wrong with it.
Michael, who stands to inherit more money if his children are cut out, argued in court documents that the will simply rewards the grandchildren who help preserve the "heritage and faith" his father loved.
His position won the support of several Jewish organizations, including Agudath Israel of America, a national Orthodox group.
David Zwiebel, executive vice president of Agudath Israel, said he didn't know of any other court rulings that directly address whether a will can tie inheritance to religious choices. Such restrictions aren't unusual, he said, because some people want to discourage intermarriage that is contributing to the declining number of Jews in America.
"There is a strong sense within certain segments of the Jewish community that in order to preserve the religious identity, it's important to promote marriage within the faith," Zwiebel said.
Michael Feinberg, who is the co-executor of his parent's estate, was pleased by the ruling but had no other comment, his attorney said. Trull's attorney said she was disappointed but looking forward to court action on her other legal claims.
The two sides of the family can't even agree on what to call the part of the will causing all the trouble. The granddaughter calls it "the Jewish clause." Her parents have adopted the phrase "religious preference clause."
The state Supreme Court based much of its decision on the fact that Erla Feinberg's will awarded set amounts of money based on the marriage status of the grandchildren at the time of her 2003 death -- either they qualified for the money or they didn't. The court said that meant the will didn't try to control what the grandchildren would do in the future and didn't offer any incentive for a particular couple to divorce.
A will that provided money year after year if the heir did not marry a gentile might not pass muster, the court suggested. That's because it would amount to a dead man trying to control actions for years to come and would encourage divorces so that people could claim an inheritance.
I honestly don't see what the legal dispute is here. To my knowledge, there isn't nor should there be a law restricting to whom and for what reason heirs are chosen.
This reminds me of how people often confuse the free speech debate. Free speech and equal protection are granted by the government. If this old coot wants to treat his grandchildren unequally, that should be his right.
You know how many root canals this poor schmoe had to do to earn this money.
He doesn't want some schicza with a cute nose marrying his grandson and using his hard-earned money to buy Christmas presents.
I can't believe the case even came this far.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Should TON Do Some Work?
I hate change.
But there comes a time when it becomes necessary to improve.
For instance, the blue and orange background you see now has been my layout since I started this blog nearly four years ago.
But as things change (this blog predates youtube), this layout may have outlived its usefulness.
Is it time for TON to choose a new layout that doesn't cut off widescreen youtube vidoes?
But there comes a time when it becomes necessary to improve.
For instance, the blue and orange background you see now has been my layout since I started this blog nearly four years ago.
But as things change (this blog predates youtube), this layout may have outlived its usefulness.
Is it time for TON to choose a new layout that doesn't cut off widescreen youtube vidoes?
Paulo's Book Club: "Fooled by Randomness"
A funny thing about life, two people can look at the same thing, and see it completely differently. And that's why I didn't like "Fooled by Randomness" by Nassem Nicholas Taleb.
The book explores the "Hidden Role of Chance in Life and the Markets," something I often think about.
But here's the difference, I look at the strange things that happen and see the Universe, Taleb sees randomness.
The book is interesting because Taleb provides a great many thought experiments to prove his points but his thinking a little rigid, and he overuses ancient philosophers.
One of Taleb's main point is about the "black swan." He theorizes, correctly, that seeing a million white swans, doesn't prove that all swans are white, but seeing only one black swan, disproves that theory.
The Black Swan (another of Taleb's books) is the name for an unexpected event. He used the black swan theory to say that basically none of the traders on Wall Street have any idea what they are doing. They just do what everyone else is doing, and through pure luck, avoid the black swan. But when the black swan comes, the explode, and explode spectactularly, a theory that seems to fit and even the foretell the current economic crisis.
Although I disagree with Taleb's cynicism, many of you who think my Universe talk is crazy might enjoy his take. Hell, he may even be right. But my way is much more fun.
The book explores the "Hidden Role of Chance in Life and the Markets," something I often think about.
But here's the difference, I look at the strange things that happen and see the Universe, Taleb sees randomness.
The book is interesting because Taleb provides a great many thought experiments to prove his points but his thinking a little rigid, and he overuses ancient philosophers.
One of Taleb's main point is about the "black swan." He theorizes, correctly, that seeing a million white swans, doesn't prove that all swans are white, but seeing only one black swan, disproves that theory.
The Black Swan (another of Taleb's books) is the name for an unexpected event. He used the black swan theory to say that basically none of the traders on Wall Street have any idea what they are doing. They just do what everyone else is doing, and through pure luck, avoid the black swan. But when the black swan comes, the explode, and explode spectactularly, a theory that seems to fit and even the foretell the current economic crisis.
Although I disagree with Taleb's cynicism, many of you who think my Universe talk is crazy might enjoy his take. Hell, he may even be right. But my way is much more fun.
How Does Tim Tebow Resist This Temptation?
Under normal circumstances it would be good to be Tim Tebow. The guy is not only a ladies' man, but he's also a man's man. He's tough as nails, has two national titles and a Heisman Trophy and one of the greatest speeches of all time.
Only problem is, this guy claims to be a virgin. He comes from an ultra-conservative Christian family, and says yes in fact he is a virgin.
I can't believe a college kid could resist when girls who look like this are wearing t-shirts that say "fuck me, Tim Tebow."
I mean, could he really walk away from a girl with tits like these without fucking her? I don't think so.
Only problem is, this guy claims to be a virgin. He comes from an ultra-conservative Christian family, and says yes in fact he is a virgin.
I can't believe a college kid could resist when girls who look like this are wearing t-shirts that say "fuck me, Tim Tebow."
I mean, could he really walk away from a girl with tits like these without fucking her? I don't think so.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
You Know What's Coming
"Three separate missions examining the moon have found clear evidence of water there, apparently concentrated at the poles and possibly formed by the solar wind."
But did they find any water on Uranus?
But did they find any water on Uranus?
Did I Say Gang-Raped? Sorry, I Meant Gang-Banged
An 18-year old Hofstra student reported to police that she had been gang raped by five dudes in a bathroom stall at one of the school's dorms.
One Hofstra student had signed in his four friends, and police immediately arrested all five.
One of the men, thinking defensively or trying to get proof of this amazing story, recorded part of the incident on his cell phone.
This immediately refuted the girl's claims that she had been tied up and raped by five guys.
Turns out she was just a drunk slut who willingly banged five guys (though a few of them claim they never did her).
She claims she made up the story when her boyfriend (maybe now her ex-boyfriend) asked what she had been doing and why she was walking funny.
But the worst part of this whole incident is this photograph of the alleged rapists upon their release from prison.
One Hofstra student had signed in his four friends, and police immediately arrested all five.
One of the men, thinking defensively or trying to get proof of this amazing story, recorded part of the incident on his cell phone.
This immediately refuted the girl's claims that she had been tied up and raped by five guys.
Turns out she was just a drunk slut who willingly banged five guys (though a few of them claim they never did her).
She claims she made up the story when her boyfriend (maybe now her ex-boyfriend) asked what she had been doing and why she was walking funny.
But the worst part of this whole incident is this photograph of the alleged rapists upon their release from prison.
Bob Arum Rips MMA
Great interview with boxing promoter Bob Arum. He says he hates MMA and UFC fans are skinheads.
Nine minutes long but worth it.
"Guys rolling around like homosexuals."
Classic!
Story suggested by TON
Nine minutes long but worth it.
"Guys rolling around like homosexuals."
Classic!
Story suggested by TON
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Why Bank Robbers Need Weapons
Banks tell their employees that in the event of a robbery to just hand over the money and do what ever the robber says.
Too bad no one told this guy.
Too bad no one told this guy.
Best Moment in Conan History
Seeing Rebecca Romijn on Conan again reminded me of this famous moment, my favorite in Conan's history.
Song of the Week
"Leaving on a Jet Plane" - Peter, Paul and Mary
Poop on Me used to sing me this song when I was little because it made me cry.
Poop on Me used to sing me this song when I was little because it made me cry.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
The Concierge's Bachelor Party Location: Denmark
The Denmark tourism bureau makes its pitch to host the Concierge's bachelor party:
Link to the video on HuffPo
This is not a real story, this is a viral marketing campaign from the Denmark tourism bureau. Basically, their pitch is "come sleep with our hot slutty women."
Link to the video on HuffPo
This is not a real story, this is a viral marketing campaign from the Denmark tourism bureau. Basically, their pitch is "come sleep with our hot slutty women."
Mr. Met is Only Six-Ten
The world's tallest man, Sultan Kosen, who checks in at 8-foot-1 (and is called TallSultan by his friends) towers over Mr. Met, despite the mascot's giant head.
The Passion and the Pageantry
ESPN's college football crew mocks a passionate fan for his reaction to Clemson's loss to Georgia Tech.
The first part takes place during a commercial.
Looks like Roach and I freshman year.
The first part takes place during a commercial.
Looks like Roach and I freshman year.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Poop Move Night
"The Stepfather" looks so awesome. It's a throwback to those great suspense thrillers of the 902 like "Fear" and "Unlawful Entry."
"The old lady across the street. She fell down the stairs and broke her neck."
"The old lady across the street. She fell down the stairs and broke her neck."
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Weekly Picks
Somebody call FEMA. Last week was a complete disaster getting every game wrong, but we have plenty of time to recover. Now you know why I don't pick underdogs.
new england -3 1/2 NEW YORK JETS
I think last week's poor performance by the Patriots may have some people thinking they are done. On the contrary I think it shows they still have what it takes to win. As for the Jets, they played great, have a good defense, but a rookie QB against Belichick could be trouble.
baltimore +3 SAN DIEGO
I'm sick of picking the Chargers, I never know when they are going to come to play. They might have some trouble against the Chargers defense.
arizona +1 JACKSONVILLE
I know Super Bowl losers tend to have disappointing follow-up seasons but I think the Cardinals will win this game.
new york giants +3 DALLAS
Tampa Bay ran all over Dallas but lost the game on a few big plays. The Giants can dominate them on the ground and avoid those big plays and win this game spoiling the debut of the Cowboys' new stadium.
BEST BET
MINNESOTA -9 1/2 detroit
I'm making this pick because of Adrian Peterson not, Brett Favre. Also, I'm getting the feeling Matt Stafford maybe isn't quite ready to carry a team this bad.
Last week: 0-5 (-1 point)
Season: 0-5 (-1 point)
Best Bets: 0-1 (0-1)
Home Favorites: 0-1 (0-1)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (0-0)
Road Favorites: 0-1 (0-1)
Road Underdogs: 0-3 (0-3)
new england -3 1/2 NEW YORK JETS
I think last week's poor performance by the Patriots may have some people thinking they are done. On the contrary I think it shows they still have what it takes to win. As for the Jets, they played great, have a good defense, but a rookie QB against Belichick could be trouble.
baltimore +3 SAN DIEGO
I'm sick of picking the Chargers, I never know when they are going to come to play. They might have some trouble against the Chargers defense.
arizona +1 JACKSONVILLE
I know Super Bowl losers tend to have disappointing follow-up seasons but I think the Cardinals will win this game.
new york giants +3 DALLAS
Tampa Bay ran all over Dallas but lost the game on a few big plays. The Giants can dominate them on the ground and avoid those big plays and win this game spoiling the debut of the Cowboys' new stadium.
BEST BET
MINNESOTA -9 1/2 detroit
I'm making this pick because of Adrian Peterson not, Brett Favre. Also, I'm getting the feeling Matt Stafford maybe isn't quite ready to carry a team this bad.
Last week: 0-5 (-1 point)
Season: 0-5 (-1 point)
Best Bets: 0-1 (0-1)
Home Favorites: 0-1 (0-1)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (0-0)
Road Favorites: 0-1 (0-1)
Road Underdogs: 0-3 (0-3)
Saturday, September 19, 2009
L'Shana Tovah
5769 started off badly for me, but ended with a flourish.
I hope 5770 is a better year for me and for all who read this.
I hope 5770 is a better year for me and for all who read this.
Let's Hope the Redskins Defense Does Better Than They Did Against the Giants
In an ad that appeared in The Washington Post, Main Line Animal Rescue, a D.C.-based company, pledged to donate five bags of dog food to a D.C. animal shelter for every time the Redskins tackle Vick when the Eagles visit Washington on Oct. 26.
"I think we're all getting tired of the 'Does he deserve a second chance?' kind of thing," Bill Smith, founder and CEO of the shelter, told the Philadelphia Inquirer. "I think we just need to raise public awareness, and this is a good way to do that. It may be funny. It may be clever. It may not."
Smith, who told the Inquirer he is skeptical of Vick's newfound concern for pets, said that "if he had any sense of humor at all" and wanted to help dogs, he could stand on the field before the Oct. 26 game and let players tackle him.
The ad also encouraged people to volunteer at a shelter on game day.
"I think we're all getting tired of the 'Does he deserve a second chance?' kind of thing," Bill Smith, founder and CEO of the shelter, told the Philadelphia Inquirer. "I think we just need to raise public awareness, and this is a good way to do that. It may be funny. It may be clever. It may not."
Smith, who told the Inquirer he is skeptical of Vick's newfound concern for pets, said that "if he had any sense of humor at all" and wanted to help dogs, he could stand on the field before the Oct. 26 game and let players tackle him.
The ad also encouraged people to volunteer at a shelter on game day.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Ernie Anastos Encourages Beastiality
Fox 5 anchor and New York legend TV news legend tries to pay homage to an old Perdue commercial ("it takes a tough man to make a tender chicken") but he gets a little carried away:
At first I thought he said plucking that chicken, but the face of his co-anchor Dari Alexander is unmistakable.
I actually think the time a guest appeared to be giving Ernie a blow job is even funnier.
At first I thought he said plucking that chicken, but the face of his co-anchor Dari Alexander is unmistakable.
I actually think the time a guest appeared to be giving Ernie a blow job is even funnier.
The New York Post Overdoes it on the Jewish Puns
In an article (which seems completely contrived) about a rabbi training other rabbis to protect their congregations against terror attacks on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, the New York Post's bad-writing team was working overtime.
The cover calls them the "Chosen Guns."
Other Jewish jokes include "mazel-tough guys," "temple of boom," and last but not least "go ahead, make my High Holiday."
The cover calls them the "Chosen Guns."
Other Jewish jokes include "mazel-tough guys," "temple of boom," and last but not least "go ahead, make my High Holiday."
Wedding Cakes
While nothing could top the dessert bar at the Focks wedding, here are some interesting wedding cakes I found, and supposedly all of them are real, not photoshopped.
Disaster cake:
Dessert cake, this looks so awesome. I wish I had seen it four years ago:
Drunk bride and groom cake:
The bride fell down a hole cake:
The Beatles Yellow Submarine Cake:
Disaster cake:
Dessert cake, this looks so awesome. I wish I had seen it four years ago:
Drunk bride and groom cake:
The bride fell down a hole cake:
The Beatles Yellow Submarine Cake:
Thursday, September 17, 2009
I Agree with Pres. Obama
A whole shitstorm erupted over these remarks because someone from ABC tweeted them out under Terry Moran's name when obviously the President meant the jackass comment to be off the record.
But the President should have some balls to come out and say "yeah I meant it, Kanye West is a jackass."
I can't imagine anyone could disagree.
Defending the Indefensible
It seems the whole world is up in arms over a somewhat tasteless column written by Mark Whicker of the Orange County Register.
As so often happens commentators try to outdo one another with their expressions of outrage, but it should be noted it was actual a smart, well-written, interesting column.
The premise was "let's catch up Jaycee Dugard on everything she missed in the sports world during her 18 years in captivity."
There were some smart lines in there like "Barry Bonds, wound up breaking Henry Aaron's home run record. How did such a skinny guy manage that? We'll deal with that later."
And "Michael Jordan did indeed win the big one, and five others."
Remember people thought Jordan wasn't a winner.
The only problem is Whicker approached it from the wrong direction. Instead of using her as a jumping-off point then saying "look how much the sporting world changed in the past 18 years" he seemed to be making fun of her plight.
Especially by ending on a new home run catchphrase, "congratulations, you left the yard."
As so often happens commentators try to outdo one another with their expressions of outrage, but it should be noted it was actual a smart, well-written, interesting column.
The premise was "let's catch up Jaycee Dugard on everything she missed in the sports world during her 18 years in captivity."
There were some smart lines in there like "Barry Bonds, wound up breaking Henry Aaron's home run record. How did such a skinny guy manage that? We'll deal with that later."
And "Michael Jordan did indeed win the big one, and five others."
Remember people thought Jordan wasn't a winner.
The only problem is Whicker approached it from the wrong direction. Instead of using her as a jumping-off point then saying "look how much the sporting world changed in the past 18 years" he seemed to be making fun of her plight.
Especially by ending on a new home run catchphrase, "congratulations, you left the yard."
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
What Do You Say?
If you were a boxer or MMA fighter which adjectives would you want the PA announcer to use before announcing your weight.
For instance, "fighting out of the blue corner, weighing in at a (insert answer here) 185 pounds..."
For instance, "fighting out of the blue corner, weighing in at a (insert answer here) 185 pounds..."
Assemblyman Spanky Duvall
California State Assemblyman Mike Duvall (he put the ass in assemblyman) learned about the dangers of an open mic.
Not realizing all the microphones in the room are on when the assembly is in session, Duvall was heard bragging about banging his mistress.
"She wears little eye-patch underwear," said Duvall, who is married with two children. "So, the other day she came here with her underwear, Thursday. And so, we had made love Wednesday--a lot! And so she'll, she's all, 'I am going up and down the stairs, and you're dripping out of me!' So messy!"
What the fuck is eyepatch underwear? And why doesn't this bitch clean herself up after intercourse. She walks around all day with this guy's jizz sliding down her leg?
He also bragged to his friend "'So, I am getting into spanking her. Yeah, I like it. I like spanking her. She goes, 'I know you like spanking me.' I said, 'Yeah! Because you're such a bad girl!'"
The woman is 36 year old Heidi DeJong Barsuglia. Duvall is 54. Barsuglia is a lobbyist, and as I mentioned, Duvall is a legislator.
The worst part of it is, Duvall was cheating on his mistress with another mistress.
In the same conversation he spoke of another woman, "Oh, yeah, Sher, Shar, Shar. Oh, she is hot! I talked to her yesterday. She goes, 'So are we finished?' I go, 'No, we're not finished.' I go, 'You know about the other one [Barsuglia], but she doesn't know about you!'"
Not realizing all the microphones in the room are on when the assembly is in session, Duvall was heard bragging about banging his mistress.
"She wears little eye-patch underwear," said Duvall, who is married with two children. "So, the other day she came here with her underwear, Thursday. And so, we had made love Wednesday--a lot! And so she'll, she's all, 'I am going up and down the stairs, and you're dripping out of me!' So messy!"
What the fuck is eyepatch underwear? And why doesn't this bitch clean herself up after intercourse. She walks around all day with this guy's jizz sliding down her leg?
He also bragged to his friend "'So, I am getting into spanking her. Yeah, I like it. I like spanking her. She goes, 'I know you like spanking me.' I said, 'Yeah! Because you're such a bad girl!'"
The woman is 36 year old Heidi DeJong Barsuglia. Duvall is 54. Barsuglia is a lobbyist, and as I mentioned, Duvall is a legislator.
The worst part of it is, Duvall was cheating on his mistress with another mistress.
In the same conversation he spoke of another woman, "Oh, yeah, Sher, Shar, Shar. Oh, she is hot! I talked to her yesterday. She goes, 'So are we finished?' I go, 'No, we're not finished.' I go, 'You know about the other one [Barsuglia], but she doesn't know about you!'"
What Do You Give Me For? May-May and Adrienne Bailon
This is the thinking person's WDYGMF.
Unlike the lowest common denominator WDYGMFs favored by TallSkott (who for years said every person with glasses looked like BC), you need to look at the big picture to get this one.
Every time Adrienne Bailon, Cheetah Girl and former girlfriend of Rob Kardashian comes on my TV, I shout "non-Asian May-May."
Being of different ethnicities the resemblance is less noticeable but if a keen observer like myself looks carefully you can see the shape of the face is the same, the features are the same, especially the chin and cheekbones.
Btw, this is how advanced facial recognition software works, it studied the shape of the face and the distance between certain features.
And if this poll doesn't go my way, I'll be buying some facial recognition software to prove it.
Unlike the lowest common denominator WDYGMFs favored by TallSkott (who for years said every person with glasses looked like BC), you need to look at the big picture to get this one.
Every time Adrienne Bailon, Cheetah Girl and former girlfriend of Rob Kardashian comes on my TV, I shout "non-Asian May-May."
Being of different ethnicities the resemblance is less noticeable but if a keen observer like myself looks carefully you can see the shape of the face is the same, the features are the same, especially the chin and cheekbones.
Btw, this is how advanced facial recognition software works, it studied the shape of the face and the distance between certain features.
And if this poll doesn't go my way, I'll be buying some facial recognition software to prove it.
I Will Kill Chase if He Ever Does This
This is why I am not taking Chase to a game until he is 5. Toddlers are too young to appreciate it.
This guy makes a great catch, wants to share the glory with his little girl and she throws the ball back.
What a disgrace!
But I guess it's to be expected from Phillies fans.
This guy makes a great catch, wants to share the glory with his little girl and she throws the ball back.
What a disgrace!
But I guess it's to be expected from Phillies fans.
Nobody Puts Baby in the Coroner
The world is still mourning the loss of Patrick Swayze who in his varied career played so many diverse characters he was bound to have done something you like.
That was the premise for this poll I posted last year when news of Swayze's cancer went public.
And thanks to "I Don't Care" by No Question, (a favorite of Bill and me) Swayze is forever immortalized in song.
That was the premise for this poll I posted last year when news of Swayze's cancer went public.
And thanks to "I Don't Care" by No Question, (a favorite of Bill and me) Swayze is forever immortalized in song.
Song of the Week
"Infinity 2008" - Guru Josh Project
Do you like hot chicks? Do you like sledgehammers? Do you like hot girls smashing stuff with sledgehammers? Yes, these are rhetorical questions.
Do you like hot chicks? Do you like sledgehammers? Do you like hot girls smashing stuff with sledgehammers? Yes, these are rhetorical questions.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
They Better Recognize
During the Illinois - Missouri game ESPN announcers Ron Franklin and Ed Cunningham showed a t-shirt worn by the sister of Missouri linebacker Sean Weatherspoon. The "hit list" included some of the more prominent quarterbacks on the Tigers schedule:
Maybe after two great games the announcers will start to recognize Zac Lee, starting quarterback at the University of Nebraska. Maybe they could start by studying the QB rating leaders. There's Zac's name, 7th out of 117.
For the record, Daryll Clark is 22, Colt McCoy is 29, Zac Robinson is 60 and Greg Paulus is 90.
I know Nebraska hasn't played anyone yet, but neither have most teams. Lee gets a chance to prove himself Saturday in the hostile environment in Blacksburg, Virginia against a tough Virginia Tech defense.
Maybe after two great games the announcers will start to recognize Zac Lee, starting quarterback at the University of Nebraska. Maybe they could start by studying the QB rating leaders. There's Zac's name, 7th out of 117.
For the record, Daryll Clark is 22, Colt McCoy is 29, Zac Robinson is 60 and Greg Paulus is 90.
I know Nebraska hasn't played anyone yet, but neither have most teams. Lee gets a chance to prove himself Saturday in the hostile environment in Blacksburg, Virginia against a tough Virginia Tech defense.
Anybody's Better Than Paula
I'm not exactly a huge fan of Ellen DeGeneres, but as the headline says, anybody's better than Paula.
Ellen will probably be similar to Paula in her unending cheerleading and positivity for the contestants, but I hope she will be different in several major ways:
1) Be able to say the word no. Even to the very worst auditions, the ones that weren't even serious, Paula couldn't formulate the word saying instead "I'm gonna have to pass.
2) Not be on drugs. Paula's antidepressants really screwed with her brain chemistry at times, turning her into a weeping mess.
3) Not take Simon's shit. I always hated when he would blow in Paula's ear or try to get her to use a random word like "maelstrom" in her comments.
I really don't care that Ellen has no musical background per se. Neither does Simon. And I don't think people really enjoyed or watched the show just to see Paula make a fool of herself.
I think Ellen will be a pretty good judge, and eventually force Kara out as well.
Ellen will probably be similar to Paula in her unending cheerleading and positivity for the contestants, but I hope she will be different in several major ways:
1) Be able to say the word no. Even to the very worst auditions, the ones that weren't even serious, Paula couldn't formulate the word saying instead "I'm gonna have to pass.
2) Not be on drugs. Paula's antidepressants really screwed with her brain chemistry at times, turning her into a weeping mess.
3) Not take Simon's shit. I always hated when he would blow in Paula's ear or try to get her to use a random word like "maelstrom" in her comments.
I really don't care that Ellen has no musical background per se. Neither does Simon. And I don't think people really enjoyed or watched the show just to see Paula make a fool of herself.
I think Ellen will be a pretty good judge, and eventually force Kara out as well.
Sasha Obama Hiding in the Oval Office
Cute picture of Sasha Obama hiding behind the couch in the Oval Office, sneaking up on President Obama.
It calls to mind this famous picture of JFK Jr.
It calls to mind this famous picture of JFK Jr.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Amazing Race
Two years ago I fell in love with Tiffany Michelle during her coverage of the World Series of Poker for pokernews.com.
Then I sent her an e-mail and she actually wrote me back.
And just a year later despite some early bad luck she had one of the best runs a female ever had at the Main Event.
Now Tiffany is hoping to set another standard for female achievement. Tiffany and her best friend Maria Ho (last woman standing in the 2007 Main Event) are hoping to be the first female team to win the Amazing Race.
When she sent out a cryptic tweet saying she would miss the Main Event for something very important, I didn't realize it would be something this cool.
Btw, Jems hates her because she called the clock on someone and gave her tablemates a lot of attitude, but that type of feistiness usually plays well in these high-intensity reality shows.
Then I sent her an e-mail and she actually wrote me back.
And just a year later despite some early bad luck she had one of the best runs a female ever had at the Main Event.
Now Tiffany is hoping to set another standard for female achievement. Tiffany and her best friend Maria Ho (last woman standing in the 2007 Main Event) are hoping to be the first female team to win the Amazing Race.
When she sent out a cryptic tweet saying she would miss the Main Event for something very important, I didn't realize it would be something this cool.
Btw, Jems hates her because she called the clock on someone and gave her tablemates a lot of attitude, but that type of feistiness usually plays well in these high-intensity reality shows.
Charo Gives Jerry Lewis a Lapdance
Despite the rough economy, Jerry Lewis was able to raise $60m in this year's MDA Telethon.
And while he did avoid fag jokes, he did have some other awkward moments:
And while he did avoid fag jokes, he did have some other awkward moments:
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Funny or Douchey?
We know SCZA loves Twitter, and we for damn sure know he loves attention, but I think he may have gone too far. He tweeted to Jets wide receiver Chansi Stuckey, telling Stuckey he had just drafted him in fantasy. When I invented the word "douchey" that's what I had in mind.
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