Another Super Super Bowl

Before I get into any of the machinations of the game I just want to say how lucky I feel to be in an unprecedented run of great Super Bowls. Surely it will be as fleeting the run of blowouts that marred my childhood.

I still rank Steelers-Cardinals as the great Super Bowl I ever saw, with Giants-Patriots I (Helmet Catch) but this one certainly makes an argument for that third spot.

It had an amazing ending, a goal line interception in the final seconds. That was a terrible play call, absolutely the worst. How do you not try with Marshawn Lynch there, at least on second down, if it doesn't work call time out and then consider your options. Nothing else needs to be said about it, it was a terrible move, a risk he didn't need to take. There is no argument in favor of it. Even though the Patriots would know it was coming, their odds of stopping it were low.

It's possible that Carroll was just caught off guard by that ridiculous catch by Jermaine Kearse.

Because Belichick certainly wasn't planning for a goal line situation either. After that first down play he should have called timeout and told his guys to just let Lynch score on second down. That would have been their best chance to get the ball back with some time remaining to kick a field goal and take their chances in overtime.

That is of course barring something colossally stupid by the Seahawks. We should also mention that even though it was absolutely, positively the wrong play-call, the odds of it turning into a game-losing interception were still very, very low.

You'd hate to say a team that cheats every time it wins benefited from good karma, but look at the NFC playoffs this year. Dallas beats Detroit on a questionable pass interference no call. Then the Cowboys lose on a properly-enforced but iffy ruling that Dez Bryant's catch was not a touchdown. The Packers took that break into Seattle and dominated the Seahawks until a series of fluke plays including a rainbow 2-point conversion gave the Seahawks the win. And then of course, this happened to them in the Super Bowl.

The Seahawks are likely to be decimated by free agency and there is no telling how many guys will stay and how many will go and how the team will perform after that, such is the reality of the modern-day NFL.

Which makes it even more amazing that Brady and Belichick have been to six Super Bowls and won 4 in the 14 seasons since Brady became the starter. Kudos to them for a great Super Bowl that unfortunately will be remembered for mistakes, rather that great plays.

Super Bowl Prop Bets

This is actually one of my favorite posts to write all year, even though it normally takes me hours. This year I'm using bovada and betonline but I can't direct link to the proper pages so you'll have to find them yourself. We'll start with the game and then move on to the ridiculous.

Super Bowl MVP
Rob Gronkowski 10/1
Tom Brady at 2/1 is a little too obvious and Russell Wilson at 7/2 is still a high price for a QB who is not the focal point of his team. If the Seahawks win it could very well be a random defensive player again. If the Pats win Brady will get the benefit of the doubt, but I feel confident that Gronk scores 2 TDs at least 10% of the time.

Player to Score First TD
Marshawn Lynch 11/2
Rob Gronkowski 13/2
Roughly 6 to 1 that one of these guys will be the one. The odds have to be better than 15%. Both of them are the focal points for their teams' offenses and likely a big part of their early game strategy as well.

Chandler Jones Sacks
Over 1/2 (-150)
Wilson does a lot of scrambling so Chandler could catch him one yard behind the line and still get credit for a sack.

Russell Wilson Passing Yards
Under 219 1/2 (-105)
I think the Patriots secondary is quite good and the Seahakws receivers aren't. I just don't see Wilson having a big passing game.

Russell Wilson Rushing Yards
Over 40 1/2 (-125)
I guess these last three bets all fit together. The Patriots defensive backs tightly cover the Seahawks receivers, Wilson is forced to scramble a lot. If the game doesn't play out like that I could very well be wrong on everything, including my pick of New England to win.

Marshawn Lynch Rushing Attempts
Under 20 1/2 (even)
This seems like a lot, unless the Seahawks have a big lead and try to pound the rock -- and do so effectively.

Luke Wilson Receptions
5 or more (+400)
I know this is kind of a long shot but he is a frequent safety valve for his brother Russell so he could see the ball quite a bit.

Richard Sherman Interceptions
Under 1/2 (-230)

Richard Sherman Tackles
Under 3 1/2 (-105)
I just think Sherman is not going to have a huge impact on this game.

Will Rob Gronkowski have more than 100 receiving yards
Yes (+190)
I wouldn't say I necessarily think this is going to happen, but I like the wager at this price.

Now let's move on to the fun stuff.
Minutes of Silva-Diaz vs. Legarrette Blount carries
Silva Diaz (-105)
I'm just not sure if Silva has it in him anymore for a first round knockout. More likely this goes the full 25. Unlikely Blount gets more than 15 carries.

How Long Will It Take Idina Menzel to Sing the National Anthem
Under 2 minutes and 1 second (-130)
I know she is a ham and she will hold some notes, but this is incredibly long for the anthem. Even Whitney Houston didn't break the 2-minute barrier.

Will Idina Menzel Omit or Forget At Least One Word
No (-700)
There is zero chance this is happening. She is way too conscientious too not have studied and way too seasoned to get nervous. If I owned a hedge fund I would put all my money on this and then close our books for the year with a 14% return.

What Color Will Bill Belichicl's Hoodie Be?
Grey (-120)
This is pretty much a two horse race with blue (no way he wears red) but I kind of feel like grey is the easy choice here.

What Will Katy Perry Be Wearing When She Begins the Halftime Show?
Pants (+450)
This is a huge dog but I think it has a real shot. Because she could come out in something covered up and then strip it away as the show goes on.

Will Katy Perry Be Showing Cleavage During the Halftime Show?
Yes (-700)
She didn't pay thousands of dollars for those things only to keep them covered up in front of the biggest audience she'll ever have.

What Will the Nielsen Rating of the Game Be?
Over 47 1/2 (-120)
Always tricky but these games keep getting more popular and I expect this one to be close and exciting.

What Color Gatorade Will be Dumped on the Winning Coach's Head?
Orange (3/2)
The Patriots always go with the tried and true.

Temperature at Kickoff
Under 67 1/2 degrees (-115)
It has been unseasonably cool in Arizona all week.

Super Bowl Pick

My hot postseason continues, and I was one historic collapse away from entering the Super Bowl with a perfect 10-0 playoff record (in my pre-playoffs straight winners) but at least I got them both right with the spread to go 7-3.

New England Patriots -1/2 Seattle Seahawks
I am going to take New England here. I don't really have a good Xs and Os reason for it. It's more about not thinking the Seahawks will repeat and not thinking the Patriots will lose three consecutive Super Bowls (they've played in).
If I were going to try to analyze the game, I would say that I think the Seattle secondary won't be able to shut down Rob Gronkowski. And when Brady gets going to the Gronk it usually opens up the rest of their offense.
As for their defense, I think the Patriots secondary will be able to blanket the Seahawks inferior wide receivers. If they can in turn stop Marshawn Lynch, the game will depend on how Russell Wilson does running the ball.
I have always been a Wilson doubter but the guy just makes plays. Somehow he always does exactly what his team needs, when they need it, like that 2-point conversion against the Packers.
But this time he's against Tom Brady, and a pretty decent Pats defense.
I think it will be a close game and I'm going to say New England 27 Seattle 23.

Last week: 2-0 (3 points)
Season: 48-47 (43 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (9-11)
Home Favorites: 1-0 (17-20)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (2-1)
Road Favorites: 0-0 (12-12)
Road Underdogs: 1-0 (17-14)

Boy Did They Blow That One

I have the indisputable answer as to why weather forecasters were so incorrect in predicting the severity of the recent snowstorm:
predicting the future is impossible.
Weather forecasts are just best guesses. You can have computer models anticipating everything but then one butterfly flaps his or her wings in TON's backyard in New Jersey and it changes the snowfall amounts at the palatial Damino estate in Westchester County.
But that doesn't mean they didn't fuck up royally. The meteorological community has a vested interest in going with the most dire forecasts they can reasonably get behind:
1) It makes people pay attention to them
2) It earns them money
3) They really feel like they are doing the right then to keep people safe
4) It's better to err on the high side, than on the low side

Unfortunately idiot politicians to whom we entrust way too much power and control of our lives, took these Chicken Little predictions and shut down entire cities for no good reason.

Note: it's a shame that we don't trust one another enough (we may be justified) to let people use their own judgement of whether or not it's safe to drive and go to work.

Song of the Week

"Life's a Bitch" - Nas featuring AZ
Excellent use of the sample from "Yearning For Your Love" by the Gap Band (SOTW, 6/8/11).
I watched a pretty cool documentary on Nas and really enjoyed it. It explored Illmatic which I always thought was slightly overrated. But hearing where the songs come from and how influential they were at the time gave me a new appreciation for it.

Created By Robert Kraft

In our ongoing efforts to bring you all the Super Bowl news you need to know, from the ridiculous to the sublime (this is both), here is the theme song for the new ABC sitcom "Growing Pats."



What makes it even funnier is that my favorite Patriot, Julian Edelman was the OP (original poster) of this video.

I Disagree With the Two Bills Here

Here is my favorite announcer Bill Walton giving birthday gifts to his friend and colleague Dave Pasch:



Billy sent me this video because he thought it was funny. Normally if the two Bills like something, I love it too.
Not this time.
Here's why: Walton gives Pasch a book on Darwin and says "we want to make sure you believe in evolution." Pasch replies "I don't." Clearly they have had this dicussion before.
Personally I do believe in evolution but that's not the point here.
The point is Dave Pasch does not deserve to be mocked for his views. On national TV no less, with the Twitter trolls watching.
I feel that liberals often feel that anyone who disagrees with only does so because they don't understand the real issue.
And liberals seemingly have unending tolerance and sympathetic catchphrases (like "Genetic Sexual Attraction" for people who date their biological parents) for everyone in the world, except someone who disagrees with them.
One example I would give is the #blacklivesmatter hashtag. This seems to imply that if you don't want to riot in the streets because Michael Brown got killed after robbing a store and punching cop, then you are a racist who doesn't care when black people die.
It seems to me this is just another example of how liberals just can't possibly understand how anyone could see the issue differently.

Note: I'm not saying conservatives aren't like this too, I just perceive it less often and less hostile.

Built In Excuse

The Patriots and Bill Belichick made a huge mistake in trying to shield responsibility and feigning ignorance about the current deflated balls scandal. All they should have said was the balls were inflated to the proper PSI and then Vince Wilfork tripped and fell on them.

I Got My Legos

Back by popular demand a 2015 version of Bad Lip Reading. Not as funny as the original but because I found it while it's still in the embryonic state og 301+ youtube views, I figure I would share and be early for once:

DeflateGate

First of all, adding -gate to every scandal has gotten tired. It should only be used if it involves a problem with an actual gate or with former Charlotte Hornet David Wingate.
Second of all, if the Patriots purposely deflated the ball to less than what it is supposed to be in an attempt to gain an advantage that is cheating. It doesn't matter if they would have won anyway, it doesn't matter if there was no real advantage. If they did something against the rules in the hopes of getting an advantage, that's cheating.
What should the punishment be?
They NFL will never, never, never, never, never, never, never (SOTW, 3/21/12) disqualify the Patriots from the Super Bowl and replace them with the Colts, or replay the game. That is never going to happen. And I think that is a little too severe.
I also think the NFL is going to purposely drag out this sham investigation until after the Super Bowl to alleviate any discussion of the matter.
But the league absolutely has to throw the book at the organization. $1m fine, a forfeited first round draft pick and a minimum of a 4-game suspension for Bill Belichick.
He was the mastermind of the biggest cheating scandal (such as it was) in recent NFL history with Spygate (damn!) and now this.
But if anyone deserves to lose to a cheater it's Pete Carroll who cheated his way through USC and then used the same blind eye to ignore rampant drug abuse (Adderrall) on the Seahawks.
These two scumbags deserve each other.
Whoever said "cheaters never win" was wrong.

Song of the Week

"That's How I Got to Memphis" - Tom T. Hall
This song was a central figure in the final episode of "The Newsroom."
Memphis is a stand-in for wherever you are in life.

Good Headline, Lousy Details

Former New York Knicks guard Greg Anthony was arrested in a prostitution sting in Washington DC over the weekend.
Cops busted him at the Doubletree Hotel.
Charges say he used a computer so he probably went on an escort site, ordered up a honey and got a cop instead.
Now I really want to make fun of the guy but I really couldn't care less about this.
Anthony is not married, he travels a lot, he makes a lot of money, he wants to have sex so he hires a girl to have sex with him. I really fail to see the giant cultural harm here.
It is against the law though, and unless this was some act of civil disobedience, then he knowingly broke the law.
But he is going to pay the price professionally, as CBS/Turner has banned him for the rest of the college basketball season.

Weekly Picks

Keen observers of The Poop will recognize that although I am only 5-3 in the playoffs with a best bet loss (close games though), I have correctly identified all 8 winners from my pre-playoffs straight winners post.

green bay +7 1/2 SEATTLE
I know this seems crazy because Aaron Rodgers is hurt but the Seahawks just don't seem that invincible to me. Yes they are good. Yes they should be able to run all over a weak Packers defense that they dominated in Week 1. But as we point out many times in this space, if everything that happened in the NFL, happened the same the next week/game, it would be a lot easier to pick winners than it is right now.
BEST BET
NEW ENGLAND -6 1/2 indianapolis
This is a tricky one because Andrew Luck has been playing so great, but I believe he is still capable of making that one bad mistake that could cost his team. Tom Brady won't do that. It would be poetic if this young kid came in and knocked off two legends (one of whom may retire) on the way to the Super Bowl, but life, and the NFL, don't always work that way.

Last week: 3-1 (2 points)
Season: 46-47 (40 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (8-11)
Home Favorites: 1-1 (16-20)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (2-1)
Road Favorites: 0-0 (12-12)
Road Underdogs: 2-0 (16-14)

Nik Stauskas Underestimated the Power of the Internet

We know that people who went to Michigan generally aren't that bright but former UMich Wolverine and current Sacramento King made a huge mistake. It all started when a female high school student asked how many retweets she needed to get for him to got to the prom with him.
He then got his girlfriend involved which prompted some enterprising student to ask how many retweets he needed to take her to the prom.
Stauskas said 10,000.
Ten minutes later he had 8,000. A few minutes after that, Taylor Anderson was promised as the prom date to Jamie Guerra.

Now at this point you are probably wondering what Miss Anderson looks like.

I really don't see how this is relevant but I'm here to give the people what they want.

Now you're next question is probably, does he get to sleep with her?
For the full prom experience, I would assume she would have to. But since Stauskas says he is going a long as a chaperone, I am going to guess the answer will be no.
But perhaps the Eiffel Tower is not out of the question.

Song of the Week

"Finally Moving" - Pretty Lights
One of at least three recent songs to sample Etta James's "Something's Got a Hold on Me."

It Was the Right Call

I hate the Dallas Cowboys. I hate Cowboys fans. I hate them when they are whining about calls. Especially when they got a favorable call just last week. And especially when the call they are griping about was absolutely correct. 

According to the rule book it is absolutely clear that Dez Bryant's catch was not a catch at all. 

Bryant did not make a "football move" or a move "common to the game" after catching the ball. He did not take a step or steady himself or juke a defender. He fell to the ground. And the rule states that you must retain control while falling to the ground. He clearly did not. The ball hit the ground and popped out. Period. End of story. Incomplete pass.

Now you may have a valid complaint if you don't like the rule but you can't intelligently claim it was misapplied in this case.  

And I think it is a good rule because we want to take as much gray area out of it as possible. Forcing receivers to keep possession as they fall to the ground makes it easier on officials to discern a completion. 

And though it didn't really work to quell controversy in this example I think it is the best way to avoid judgement calls by officials becoming the determining factor in big games. 

In fact I have said for years that the biggest threat to the NFL isn't concussions or wife-beating players, it's too many games being decided by penalties and rulings by officials. 

I think it ended the NBA's 90s revival when big games and championships were decided by questionable calls and clearly a fixed game (Kings-Lakers).

If this continues with the NFL where the playoffs are constantly shrouded in controversy and fans feel cheated it will lead to a decline in its popularity. 

News Flash: I'm Immature Too

The winner of this year Golden Globes golden globes award is Jennifer Lopez.

This actually created controversy this year because her co-presenter Jeremy Renner made a joke about her having the globes.

Apparently people on twitter didn't like this. It is sexist to notice women's breasts even when they are practically falling out of their dress.

But I guess I am not the only one with such a refined sense of humor. Welcome aboard Mr. Renner.

Weekly Picks

Not a great start to the playoffs but not terrible either. I got my best bet, almost got a sick backdoor cover from the awful Cardinals. But I got all four winners from my playoff predictions.

baltimore +7 NEW ENGLAND
I think the Patriots will win but I think Baltimore is a good enough playoff team to keep this close.

indianapolis +7 DENVER
I actually think the Colts are going to win this game and everyone is going to talk about the changing of the guard.

SEATTLE -12 1/2 carolina
I want to make this my best bet but I think the spread is just a little too large and the Panthers defense is just a little too good.

BEST BET
GREEN BAY -5 1/2 dallas
The more people jump on Dallas's bandwagon (including Chris Christie) the more I think they are going to lose, and probably go down in flames while doing so.

Last week: 2-2 (4 points)
Season: 43-46 (38 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (8-10)
Home Favorites: 1-1 (15-19)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (2-1)
Road Favorites: 0-0 (12-12)
Road Underdogs: 1-1 (14-14)

Fuck Football, He Should Have Been on the Swim Team

Former Syracuse running back Rob Konrad survived a boating accident by swimming 9 miles to shore. Somehow he fell out of the boat (he was fishing alone) and couldn't get back to it (it was on autopilot). He left at 10am and his friends noticed he was missing when he didn't show up for dinner so they contacted the Coast Guard which sent a helicopter to look for him. Police found him on the beach at 4:40am when he somehow contacted them. He was treated for hypothermia (he was in the water for 10-12 hours) and was released.

Now We Can Call Her Ma'am Again

Sen. Barbara Boxer will not seek a new term when hers expires in 2016.
This seems like a good time to bring up this famous clip:



This has to be one of the pettiest, nastiest things any human being has ever done in such a public forum.
"I worked so hard to get that title."
Oh yeah bitch, he's a fuckin general in the Army. I'm pretty sure that was a harder title to attain.
And by the way, in the military, ma'am is how you show respect for a female superior.

Mrs. Poop is So Immature

Mrs. Poop asked me to take this picture of her in front of Animal Kingdom at Disney World.

Song of the Week

"Coco" - OT Genasis
It shows you how bad hip-hop music has become that this is the best thing out there right now.

The Universe Thinks My Art Sucks

As most of you know, The Poops moved into a new house this summer, we actually bought it just a couple days after Mrs. Poop's birthday.
Because we don't normally exchange big gifts, and we were spending a lot of money on the house, repairs, additional furnishings etc, I decided a gift heavy on sentiment, light on cost would be ideal.

So I drew Mrs. Poop a picture of our new abode.

Looks pretty good compared to the original though right?

But evidently the Universe didn't think my artwork is good enough because the gift from our realtor, sitting on the shelf the day we closed, was this picture of the house, drawn by a professional.

Ok, I readily admit it is better, but mine was drawn with love and colored with crayons.

And since then we've had the house re-sided, and it looks completely different.

Booyah!

I did not like Stuart Scott. I met him once, he seemed like a nice guy but I didn't really know him. All I knew of him was his on-air persona, which I hated.
I hated his ridiculous catchphrases and his jock-sniffing. And I almost never watched him.
I didn't watch the ESPYs and although I knew he had cancer, I didn't realize how close to death he was.
I was genuinely shocked and saddened by the news when I heard it.
The more I read and saw about it, I do admire the way he handled his battle and I respect him as a man.
And he was very nice and cool and funny when I met him during my Stump the Schwab appearance.
But as a SportsCenter anchor he sucked.

Weekly Picks

Now is the time to make up for a mediocre (maybe bad) regular season. 11 in a row here we come.

arizona +6 1/2 CAROLINA
I was waiting for this for months when it became evident that a bad team would be hosting a playoff game and everyone would say "remember the Seahawks!" when they were 7-9 and beat a much better Saints team in the first round. But then every Cardinals QB got hurt and the Panthers defense came to life. But maybe the Cardinals can pull this off or at least keep it close.

baltimore +3 PITTSBURGH
These games never go how you think they should. Plus, I'm pretty sure the Steelers will win by 3 and everyone loses.

DALLAS -6 1/2 detroit
Hard to believe in either of these teams based on past performance. This is a lot of points but the Lions just don't seem like a team that has figured out how to win big games.

BEST BET
INDIANAPOLIS -3 1/2 cincinnati
I gave the Bengals the benefit of the doubt here on the spread because I don't want two pushes marring the weekend. Eventually someday Andy Dalton may play a good playoff game. But I don't think that's going to be today. Andrew Luck should be able to will his team to victory.

Last week: 2-3 (4 points)
Season: 41-44 (38 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (7-10)
Home Favorites: 1-2 (14-18)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (2-1)
Road Favorites: 0-1 (12-12)
Road Underdogs: 1-0 (13-13)

Song of the Week

"Call My Name" - Avery Sunshine
The quintessential neo-soul jam. Smooth, well-sung, with feeling and emotion.
I wish Mrs. Poop and I had more problems in our marriage so I could dedicate songs like this to her.
A great way to end 2014.

What Do You Give Me For?

What do you give me for the extruder tool in the Play-Doh Cake Mountain play set and...oh never mind.

Why Does Jim Boeheim Have To Be Such An Asshole?

Last year I actually defended Jim Boeheim when the rest of the world was calling him an asshole for his unvarnished assessment of Tyler Ennis's pro potential.
But I can no longer defend him for making nasty comments about his own players.
About freshman point guard Kaleb Joseph, Boeheim said "He's just not really a point guard yet. He's trying to learn how to play point. It's going to take a long time, too."
If you evaluate this statement based on how true it is, it could be fair and accurate for an outsider to say, but it's totally rude, insulting and counterproductive for a coach to say this about his own player.
And even worse is what he said about Chris McCullough who was projected by some (though not Boeheim) as a potential lottery pick in the upcoming NBA Draft: "He's a lottery pick, I don't know how he could possibly struggle against Colgate. It just doesn't make sense to me. I've got a better chance of winning the lottery and I don't buy tickets."
There is absolutely no reason for him to be so rude, condescending and downright insulting about someone for whom Boeheim plays a large role in his success. Why is he constantly tearing down his own players in the media? Does he think they're arrogant and need to be taken down a few pegs so he can build them back up? He's not a drill sergeant so more likely he's just an asshole who doesn't care about the players.

NFL Playoff Predictions

AFC:
Ravens over Steelers
Colts over Bengals

Patriots over Ravens
Colts over Broncos

Patriots over Colts

NFC:
Panthers over Cardinals
Cowboys over Lions

Packers over Cowboys
Seahawks over Panthers

Packers over Seahawks

Super Bowl XLIX
Green Bay Packers 27 New England Patriots 21

Weekly Picks

Final week before the playoffs and it's always hard to tell which teams are going to come to play, because you'd just expect the out of it teams to lie down like dogs for the teams that still have something to play for, but it doesn't always work that way.

MIAMI -6 1/2 new york jets
Last week was the final valiant effort under Rex Ryan. Seems only fitting for his era to end with an embarrassing loss.

MINNESOTA -6 1/2 chicago
I actually like the way the Vikings have been playing and the Bears are in complete chaos. Cutler got benched, Clausen got cheap-shotted and concussed and now Cutler is back. Not expecting his best game.

new orleans -4 TAMPA BAY
Even thought the Saints never showed up when it mattered, I don't think they will lie down in this game and they have plenty of talent to beat the ExpensiveCornPrices by 5 points or more.

arizona +6 1/2 SAN FRANCISCO
The QB injuries make the Cardinals one of the weirdest teams in NFL history. They're nearly touchdown underdogs against a bad team in game in which they could possibly clinch homefield advantage throughout the playoffs.

BEST BET
GREEN BAY -7 DETROIT
I just don't see any way in hell the Packers don't dominate this game considering how much their Super Bowl chances will decrease should they lose.

Last week: 3-2 (4 points)
Season: 39-41 (35 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (6-10)
Home Favorites: 1-0 (13-16)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (2-1)
Road Favorites: 1-1 (12-11)
Road Underdogs: 1-0 (12-13)

Song of the Week

"December" - Earth Wind & Fire
They literally changed two words from "September."

Digital Good Samaritan

Trusted friend, caring sister, beloved Aunt and former shaving products magnate Razor is adding a new title to her long list of superlatives, she is now a digital good Samaritan. Over the weekend she found instagram posts threatening the police like one from "Woodgramflexinn" which said he was on his way to New York to kill two more cops. She forwarded it to a tipline for the NYPD, which then alerted authorities in his area (Tennessee) which went to the guy's house and determined the threat was not serious. The Fox affiliate in Memphis contacted Razor and eventually wrote this article about the incident.

Weekly Picks

I'm really disappointed because I was going to pick the Bengals as my best bet last week because I really don't believe in Johnny Football as an NFL QB. I feel the same way I did about Tebow, great college player who won't translate. He can throw better than Tebow but has less size and almost none of the intangibles, not that I really care too much about intangibles.

CAROLINA -4 cleveland
I'm actually a little concerned here because I think everyone is going to pick against Cleveland and I really think Manziel is going to be better, because he can't be worse. But Carolina actually has something to play for and the spread is not that big.

atlanta +6 NEW ORLEANS
I don't trust the Saints to do what they're supposed to do. Especially at home this year, which seems weird.

SEATTLE -8 1/2 arizona
I find that whenever a spread seems too big because of an injury or something, the favorite usually covers anyway. My only concern about this pick is agreeing with Mike Francesa. Of Ryan Lindley he said, "I don't want to pick on the kid but -- he stinks! He's terrible."

new england -10 NEW YORK JETS
You don't think Bill Belichick wants to shove it up Rex's ass in their last-ever meeting as head coaches?

BEST BET
green bay -11 tampa bay
Another huge spread, especially for a road team, but I like to ride with the teams that disappointed the previous week. And I really do believe the Packers are the best team in the NFL.

Last week: 3-2 (2 points)
Season: 36-39 (31 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (5-10)
Home Favorites: 1-0 (12-15)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (2-1)
Road Favorites: 0-1 (11-10)
Road Underdogs: 2-1 (11-13)

Funny or Douchey?

This has the potential to be the most controversial Funny or Douchey ever. I know many of you will vote douchey without giving it a second thought. But I know at least a couple of you will find this to be quite clever and humorous.

Song of the Week

"Baby It's Cold Outside" - Cee-Lo Green featuring Christina Aguilera
This song about date rape is a perfect fit for accused sexual predator Cee-Lo.

Funny or Douchey?

An Australian colleague had a birthday and on the card I wrote "Happy Birthday! I hope you have a G'day."

Weekly Picks

The secret to my success: pick against the Jets. They stink. Though I will deviate from that strategy this week and leave them alone for a week.

KANSAS CITY -10 1/2 oakland
I actually wanted to make this game my best bet but this is just too many points for a team like the Chiefs.

jacksonville +13 1/2 BALTIMORE
I just don't like the Ravens. They surprised me last week by beating the Dolphins but I expect them to have a stinker against a weaker team.

san francisco +9 1/2 SEATTLE
I know this pick doesn't look too good but I just have a feeling there won't be too many points scored at all.

cincinnati +2 CLEVELAND
Brian Hoyer didn't lose all those games by himself. And I just have no confidence that Johnny Football is actually an NFL quarterback at this point.

BEST BET
green bay -4 1/2 BUFFALO
I just love the Packers and think they're awesome. They played a close game last week and allowed a lot of points. Their defense should do better against the Bills.

Last week: 4-1 (5 points)
Season: 33-37 (29 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (5-9)
Home Favorites: 1-1 (11-15)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (2-1)
Road Favorites: 2-0 (11-9)
Road Underdogs: 1-0 (9-12)

Song of the Week

"Open Your Eyes" - Bobby Caldwell
When Bobby Caldwell was new to the music industry in the 1970s, there was no internet, so if you heard a song you liked on the radio it was very hard to find out what the person who sang it looked like.
Caldwell sounded "black" but he is white and according to his Wikipedia page "Caldwell's management took certain steps — such as portraying the artist only in silhouette on the cover and in advertisements — to hide the fact that he was white."

Still this is a cool jam, sampled expertly by Common on "The Light.".

A New Kind of F or D

Rams coach Jeff Fisher sent out 6 players for the opening coin toss against the Redskins, they happened to be the six players active for Sunday's game who were acquired via the trade for RGIII. They are Stedman Bailey, Michael Brockers, Greg Robinson, Janoris Jenkins, Zac Stacy, and Alec Ogletree.

I definitely think the answer is dickish. If RGIII were playing well and Fisher wanted to say "we like our side" I would say it's funny. But doing it just to show up the Redskins now that things have gone so badly, that's just kicking a guy when he's down.

Good Guesses

I told Mrs. Poop that LeBron's new running mate was named Kevin and his last name is a verb that I do to her. She guessed "Kevin Hump" and "Kevin Annoy" before giving up.

How to Handle Fleeting Success

Thomas F. Wilson is famous for playing Biff Tannen and his progenitors and progeny in the Back to the Future movies.

Because those movies are so good and so timeless Wilson is constantly being stopped by adoring fans who ask him the same, dumb questions over and over again. He decided to print this FAQ to hand out rather than answering these mindless queries 100 times a a day.

And since he has transitioned to stand-up comedy, here's his musical comedy routine addressing the same topic:

Weekly Picks

I'm running out of things to say about my performance. Lots of big spreads this week.

new york giants -1 1/2 TENNESSEE
I can't see the Giants losing two weeks in a row to two of the worst teams in the NFL. But if they do they have the Redskins next week so they're playing 3 horrible teams in a row, hopefully they lose all 3.

MIAMI -3 baltimore
After a subpar performance and a squeaky win against the Jets, I expect the Dolphins to rebound with a win.

buffalo +10 DENVER
I actually think there is something seriously wrong with the Broncos.

new england -3 1/2 SAN DIEGO
The Patriots aren't losing two weeks in a row.

BEST BET
MINNESOTA -5 new york jets
I actually don't think the Vikings are that bad and the Jets as we know are putrid.

Last week: 2-3 (1 point)
Season: 29-36 (24 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (4-9)
Home Favorites: 1-0 (10-14) Home Underdogs: 0-0 (2-1)
Road Favorites: 1-3 (9-9)
Road Underdogs: 0-0 (8-12)

I Love Everything Except the Name

I would have gone with Jew-ber. But Schlep is pretty funny too.

I Have Considered Executing a Similar Stunt

But I'm pretty sure Mrs. Poop would never forgive me if I fake-killed Julian.

Song of the Week

"Suspicious Minds" - Elvis Presley
Only the second Elvis SOTW ever after "The Wonder of You" (SOTW 9/9/09)

Those Aren't Brains

Pokernews.com's Caitlyn Howe interviewed poker player Jonathan Jaffe after day 3 of WPT Montreal, an event he went on to win.
Clearly Howe was not hired because of her poker knowledge, her reporting skills and certainly not her bullshit detector.



"I'm working for the core of engineers in Vermont, I'm studying, there's an indigenous population of squirrels that are being eaten by a new invasive species of bird."
"That's incredible. What a virtuous pursuit."

There are two big reasons she got the job. You can see them here.



And here.



But she was not the only one to get duped by Jaffe. The ESPN crew (technically an outside production company working in association with ESPN) broadcasting the 2013 World Series of Poker Main Event got fooled.



Jaffe ended up finishing 42nd and ESPN eventually admitted its gaffe in not fact checking Jaffe and not giving the photoshopped picture of him feeding a dolphin closer inspection.

Enough about him, this post is really about Caitlyn Howe.

Weekly Picks

I'm 9-6 over the past 3 weeks and thankfully I finally got a best bet right. I really wanted to pick the Lions on Thanksgiving but I totally forgot to actually make it so.

new york giants -3 JACKSONVILLE
I think the Giants are a little better than their record. As long as Eli doesn't turn it over a bunch of times I expect them to beat the Jaguars easily.

cincinnati -3 1/2 TAMPA BAY
Another case of a decent team playing a bad team on the road and getting a reasonable price.

ST. LOUIS -6 1/2 oakland
The Raiders are not winning two games in a row. The only question is whether the Rams will beat them by enough. I went with the lower spread of the two choices just to avoid a potential push.

denver -2 KANSAS CITY
I thought I had it with the Broncos last week after that huge comeback but they allowed that backdoor TD to crush my dreams. Normally I would avoid picking against a good team coming off a horrible loss, but I'm not so sure the Chiefs are a good team.

BEST BET
miami -6 1/2 NEW YORK JETS
The Jets are just the worst. And the Dolphins are good, coming off a bad loss, and they need this game. Again I selected the lower of the two spreads to avoid a push.

Last week: 3-2 (4 points)
Season: 27-33 (23 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (4-8)
Home Favorites: 3-2 (9-14)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (2-1)
Road Favorites: 0-0 (8-6)
Road Underdogs: 0-0 (8-12)

Song of the Week

"A Sky Full of Stars" - Coldplay
I have always said that had I not been a teenager on Staten Island when Wu-Tang's 36 Chambers came out "I would be listening to Coldplay like the rest of the white kids."
But it did, so I wasn't. I hated Coldplay.
But I made up my mind before I knew Coldplay sang this song. I guess I wasn't familiar enough with them to know the voice of their singer (who is more palatable now that he's not married to that pretentious copper nanotube anymore.)
Maybe I didn't know their style well enough either, though I think this is a departure from their normal genre.
I would be hypocritical if I didn't post a good song I liked just because I didn't want to seem like a cheesy white kid like Focks.

Weekly Picks

Not a bad week except for losing my best bet again.

BUFFALO -2 1/2 new york jets
I don't care when and were this game is being played. As long as there are people assigning value to something that doesn't really matter, I will pick against those schmoes.

CHICAGO -5 tampa bay
The Bears are a hard team to figure but they do have a lot of talent and I could see them rattling off a few wins now that the schedule got a little easier. Plus the ECPs had a big win last week and I don't expect them to win two in a row on the road.

DENVER -6 1/2 miami
You think they're going to hold Peyton Manning to 7 points two weeks in a row? I don't.

HOUSTON -2 cincinnati
I don't like this matchup of Andy Dalton versus the Texans defense.

BEST BET
SEATTLE -7 1/2 arizona
This is probably the biggest spread a team with the best record in the league has ever faced this deep into the season. It makes sense for some reasons but it's also designed to attract those people who are living in the past, evidently, like me.

Last week: 3-2 (2 points)
Season: 24-31 (19 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (3-8)
Home Favorites: 2-0 (6-12)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (2-1)
Road Favorites: 0-0 (8-6)
Road Underdogs: 1-2 (8-12)

Song of the Week

"Don't" - Ed Sheeran
Kind of a cool funky sound that we don't normally hear in pop music.
Video is also different and interesting.

I'd Buy It And Invite Johnny Fontaine Over

The house that served as Don Corleone's home in "The Godfather" is for sale.
The house is located at 110 Longfellow Rd in the Emerson Hill section of Staten Island.
The outside was used for the wedding scenes at the beginning of the movie. They didn't shoot in the interior of the house, but the home owners renovated it to replicate the rooms in the movie.
It is list for $2.895 million.

The Disney Reveal

We sprung a trip to Disney on Chase and Julian right after we got home from trick or treating on Halloween.



So the reaction was very underwhelming to me. Chase reacted just as I thought he would, but I expected Julian to jump and yell like he did in the famous anywhere chair video

How Tall This Fall

2014:

2013:

2012:

2011:



2010:



2009:



2008:



2007:

Weekly Picks

No one ever went broke betting against Mark Sanchez -- except me.

CHICAGO -2 1/2 minnesota
So it hasn't been going too well for our system this year, but after an embarrassing loss in prime time in front of a huge audience I like a team to rebound.

seattle +1 1/2 KANSAS CITY
Are the Chiefs really this good? Are the Seahawks really in trouble despite pounding the Giants last week?

cincinnati +7 NEW ORLEANS
Again, embarrassing loss, but Andy Dalton can't be that bad two weeks in a row, can he?

GREEN BAY -5 1/2 philadelphia
Going to try this Sanchez thing again.

BEST BET
detroit +1 ARIZONA
Normally I have this backup quarterback theory where a team doesn't have the big dropoff we would expect when their starting QB goes down. But I just happen to really like the Lions this season.

Last week: 3-2 (2 points)
Season: 21-29 (17 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (3-7)
Home Favorites: 1-0 (4-12)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (2-1)
Road Favorites: 2-1 (8-6)
Road Underdogs: 0-1 (7-10)

I Just Booked a Two-Week Trip to Hawaii for Any Woman Named Halle Berry

From the Toronto Star:
If you’re a Canadian citizen with a passport and an itch to explore the world, you may be eligible for a free trip around the world. Just one condition: your legal name has to be Elizabeth Gallagher.

Jordan Axani, a 28-year-old real estate development manager with some spare plane tickets, is willing to fund your airfare for a two-week trip around the world, provided that you’re willing to leave a few days before Christmas.

The Cabbagetown resident posted a notice on Reddit looking for a travel companion late Sunday night. He writes that the offer resulted from a break-up with his girlfriend with whom he had been planning to take the trip since March.

His search for another woman who has the same name as his ex began when he discovered what a hassle it can be to make changes to plane tickets.

“Anyone familiar with the archaic system that is modern air travel will know that a name change on a ticket is damn near impossible,” he writes on Reddit. “Moreover, the flights were purchased during a massive blow-up on Priceline and were frankly so cheap and on so many different airlines that they’re not worth the headache or money to cancel.”

Song of the Week

"I'm Your Puppet" - James and Bobby Purify
Major quandary here deciding which version to use. James and Bobby Purify did the original so I wanted to give them credit, but I actually prefer a cover version by the great Marvin and Tammi.
But I decided to go with the original just to point out that the original "Bobby Purify" was actually Robert Dickey. And he was eventually replaced by Ben Moore.

He's Not Here Anymore

"I'm here, and I'm there. I'm Big Bank Hank and I'm everywhere."
One of the originators of hip-hop, Big Bank Hank from the Sugar Hill Gang died today at the age of 57, which means he was only 22 when he revolutionized music with Rapper's Delight.
And don't forget Apache (SOTW, 8/22/07)



And the worst part is, now he will literally be rolling over in his grave when he sees what has become of rap music.

The Person Who Did This is a Dipshit

Funny typo from Fox 4 in Dallas where the lack of a space between temps and hit turned a weather report into an internet gag.

Another Mistake

The Mets will never learn. Mike Cuddyer is the latest old (36), injured (48 games last year), overpaid ($21M over two years) veteran the Mets hope will finally hit for them.
Cuddyer is coming to them from the Rockies where his stats were obviously inflated by the ballpark. And like all the others he will surely suffer in CitiField.
And even if he were to hit pretty well, he is an absolute butcher defensively, perhaps a worse outfielder than Lucas Duda was.
I grant you that the Mets didn't have many better options to play left field, but my my concern is that he won't be much better than a Nieuwenhuis/den Decker combo would be (including defense and baserunning) and his arrival will result in fewer at bats (and defensive chances) for Juan Lagares -- because Terry Collins is a moron who thinks you need to keep guys fresh (and he has a crush on Eric Young Jr).
Once again the Mets have turned to free agency to improve the problems with their team because they think that is what they are supposed to do and they think that showing the fan base you're committed to winning is important even when doing so actually makes it less likely that you will win.
So Cuddyer is old, unlikely to be healthy for two years, terrible on defense and likely to see a significant decrease in offensive production based solely on home parks.
The Mets will never learn.

Weekly Picks

Another -1.

DETROIT -2 1/2 miami
I think I am just have trouble adjusting to teams I thought were bad or good, suddenly changing and staying that way for weeks. The Dolphins may actually be good. But I like Detroit anyway.

pittsburgh -3 1/2 NEW YORK JETS
Last week I picked against the Steelers because they were coming off a monumental performance. I picked the Jets because they had just turned in a monumentally bad performance. Now let's try something different.

atlanta -3 TAMPA BAY
I cannot believe how awful the Falcons have turned out to be.

denver -12 OAKLAND
A huge road spread for the Broncos but they got smoked last week and the Raiders hung in against the Seahawks.

BEST BET
carolina +6 1/2 PHILADELPHIA
Mark Sanchez is the starting quarterback for the Eagles.

Last week: 0-5 (-1 points)
Season: 18-27 (15 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (3-6)
Home Favorites: 0-2 (3-12)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (2-1)
Road Favorites: 0-0 (6-5)
Road Underdogs: 0-3 (7-9)

Song of the Week

"Changes" - Faul & Wad Ad
80,000,000 youtube viewers can't wrong

Weekly Picks

A slight bounceback last week. I am posting these picks from DisneyWorld so maybe I will have a magical week.

DALLAS -2 1/2 arizona
Dallas had a profile stinker against a bad team on Monday night. Arizona had a shocking high-profile victory and got a lot of attention.

new york jets +9 KANSAS CITY
Ok, so this sounds crazy but the Jets can't possibly be that bad every week, can they? Jets fans? Plus, this is a lot of points for a team as mediocre as Kansas City to be giving up.

san diego +2 MIAMI
The Dolphins are seriously flawed. The Chargers are seriously good.

SEATTLE -14 oakland
A visit from the Raiders is good for what ails the Seahawks.

BEST BET
baltimore +1 PITTSBURGH

This is just a bet against Ben Roethlisberger having a game anywhere close to the one he had last week.

Last week: 3-2 (4 points)
Season: 18-22 (16 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (3-5)
Home Favorites: 0-0 (3-10)
Home Underdogs: 1-0 (2-1)
Road Favorites: 2-1 (6-5)
Road Underdogs: 0-1 (7-6)

Song of the Week

"Always Together" - The Dells
These guys just get me
"When the years have turned your hair to silver
And the days of our youth have left us so very far behind
Golden, golden memories we'll keep in our mind
And we'll always be
always be
Always together"

So Long Mrs. Kotter

Actress Marcia Strassman died at the age of 66 after a long battle with cancer.
Strassman was best known for playing Julie Kotter, Mr. Kotter's wife on "Welcome Back, Kotter."
Most of her role consisted of listening to Mr. Kotter (Gabe Kaplan) tell bad jokes about his "uncles."

Weekly Picks

Minus-1. I stink. I actually think I will stop doing these next season. No one participates in the pool upon which this is based and it ruins my Sunday that I get every game wrong all the time. And the picks aren't helpful unless some studious Poophead wants to bet against me.

houston -3 1/2 TENNESSEE
The Titans stink and playing a QB who looks like a joke is not going to help. I would have gotten the Texans right last week if not for some fluky disastrous run of plays. This week they will rebound.

seattle -5 CAROLINA
There could actually be something seriously wrong with the Seahawks. But a three-game losing streak for the world champs? I doubt it.

CINCINNATI +2 baltimore
Have the Bengals really regressed this much this quickly?

green bay +2 1/2 NEW ORLEANS
Aaron Rodgers has been on fire and Drew Brees has been mortal.

BEST BET
miami -6 JACKSONVILLE
The Dolphins aren't that good but teams as bad as the Jaguars generally win 2 games a season, not 2 games in 2 weeks.

Last week: 0-5 (-1 points)
Season: 15-20 (12 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (2-5)
Home Favorites: 0-2 (3-10)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (1-1)
Road Favorites: 0-1 (4-5)
Road Underdogs: 0-2 (7-5)

What Do You Give Me For? Frankie Carbone and Louie from "The Simpsons"

What do you give me for Frankie Carbone and Louie from "The Simpsons?"
Actor Frank Sivero is suing the creators of the "The Simpsons" for $250M saying Louie is based on his character from "Goodfellas."
Sivero says in 1989 he lived in the same apartment complex as some of the writers for the show. During this time he developed the character of Frankie Carbone. He says he told the writers about his character and that they based "Louie" on Carbone.
Louie first appeared in 1991 and has had 15 appearances in total, including as recently as April 2014.

Song of the Week

"Sultans of Swing" - Dire Straits

The Twitter Trolls Have Pushed Mike Goldberg Too Far

Mike Goldberg, UFC's regular announcer, has been removed for one week from his gig doing NFL games on Fox.
What happened is long and complicated and begins with your faithful friend, The Poop.
Apparently I have never written about my hatred for Goldie on the blog so I will explain it all.
Bruce Buffer normally ends his pre-fight schpiel by announcing the name of the referee. Without fail Mike Goldberg would repeat the name of the ref right afterwards. So it would go a little something like this:

Buffer: The referee this evening, Herb Dean.
Goldberg: Herb Dean is our referee.

This drove me insane, but on its own, not enough to make me take action. But when you add in all the other stupidity he spews (TON says at least once a fight card Joe Rogan basically has to tell him to shut up because he's saying something blatantly wrong), that would be enough to drive anyone to his breaking point, but not me.

I didn't start trolling him on Twitter until he missed an event while dealing with a "complicated health issue" which many people believe was rehab.

His replacement Jon Anik was so bad I actually tweeted my support for Goldie.

Note: The ashes is a cricket match between Australia and the United Kingdom. The Ultimate Fighter between Australia and the United Kingdom was dubbed "the Smashes." Anik said this 100 times, at least, every time he had the chance.

Here is my original tweet to him and the conversation it started:

Fast forward to last Sunday when Mike Goldberg was calling the Vikings-Lions game. According to all reports it was one of the worst broadcasts ever, with Goldberg constantly misidentifying players (like saying a Teddy Bridgewater pass was intended for Golden Tate -- who plays for the other team) to just not being able to correctly identify down and distance (he said a clear first down was "close," an obvious loss was a gain of "one maybe two" and 2nd and 9 was "3rd and 17"). All in all it seemed like Goldie was back on whatever it was that sent him to rehab in the first place.

As people on twitter are known to do, they gave Goldberg the business after the game. Calling him out for his inept performance. Goldberg wasn't having it though, responding to the twitter trolls with gems like this:

And this:

So that's what got him benched for this week. Let's see if Fox has the temerity to send him back out there. Let's see if Goldberg has the serenity to ignore the trolls. And let's see if I can provoke him into calling me a douche.

Weekly Picks

Bounced back last week thanks to the Patriots, who true to form, followed up two good performances with a near-loss to the lowly Jets.

DETROIT -2 new orleans
I'm not convinced that the Saints don't stink, and I am starting to believe the Lions are pretty good.

SAN DIEGO -3 1/2 kansas city
This seems like a small spread for a team playing as well as the Chargers against an opponent that isn't all that great.

new york giants +6 1/2 DALLAS
You wanna crown em, then crown their ass, but I'm going to pick the Giants as a big underdog. Again, looking for both teams to perform contrary to how they did last week.

houston +3 PITTSBURGH
I like any team with JJ Watt on it.

BEST BET
seattle -6 ST. LOUIS
If you had any doubt that the Seahawks would be my best bet then I just want to thank you for making it this far down in one of these posts for what is likely the first time ever.

Last week: 3-2 (4 points)
Season: 15-15 (13 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (2-4)
Home Favorites: 0-2 (3-8)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (1-1)
Road Favorites: 2-0 (4-3)
Road Underdogs: 1-0 (7-3)

Song of the Week

"Come Get It Bae" - Pharrell Williams
In contrast to last week's SOTW, this song shows what kind of progress we've made in 35 years, we've dropped the second B from babe.
Which I suppose is better than dropping the first one because I'd feel weird calling Mrs. Poop "Abe."
The song mostly sucks, but it doesn't have a funky beat, so I would definitely prefer the instrumental.

The Process is Working, Let It Work

Believe me Mets fans, I understand the frustration and the impatience, unfortunately, you can't just will a team to be better and you can't just buy free agents to make it so.
Every time the Mets have tried this (Jason Bay, Curtis Granderson, etc), it has been a disaster. And now, with more and more teams locking up their best players before they reach free agency, there are fewer good players even reaching this point. There are no Carlos Beltrans out there.

Note: This is also a big reason the Yankees missed the playoffs two years running. You just can't buy a playoff team on the open market anymore. Teams hold on to their good young players so only older, damaged veterans make it to free agency.
What the Mets have to do is accumulate good, young players and hold on to them. The Mets are well on their to building what could be an outstanding starting rotation with Harvey, deGrom and Wheeler already in the majors and others on the way. The bullpen is also stocked with great arms like Mejia and Familia and Rafael Montero.
And I am very excited about Akeel Morris who in the last two years at A-ball has struck out 149 batters in 102 innings (13k/9) and 0.79 ERA.
I also like what the Mets have up the middle with Largares (who has the potential to be a legendary defensive player) and D'Arnaud who seems to have come around. Duda, Murphy and Wright could also be positive contributors. And though I think Granderson stinks, we have him for 3 more years like it or not.
What I would like to see the Mets do is sign a left fielder to a 1-year contract and give Wilmer Flores or Dilson Herrera a chance to be an everyday shortstop.
I think the Mets can follow the Royals blueprint of a long, slow rebuilding process that bears fruit when hard-throwing young pitchers combine with speedy defensive players plus a few guys who can hit. That style of team would do well and at CitiField and be poised to do well in the playoffs when runs become harder to come by.

It's a Rare Condition In This Day and Age To Read Any Good News on the Newspaper Page -- When It Comes to the NFL

The story of Cincinnati Bengals defensive tackle Devon Still is one of the few things that makes you feel good about being an NFL fan this season. Still's 4-year-old daughter, Leah, has neuroblastoma, a form of cancer.
He has tweeted about her progress, instagrammed videos of his pep talks for her and the NFL has started selling his jersey and giving some of the profits to charity.
In fact, there are no more #75 Still jerseys available a check will be presented to Cincinnati Children’s Hospital for OVER $1 million dollars. Even the New England Patriots cheerleaders wore them.

That produced a single tear from Still's eye, which dripped on his faux-eye black which bears his daughter's name.

Weekly Picks

Another miserable week as I banked on a team I thought was good (New Orleans) but probably isn't. Still near .500 for the season and 11-9 on not best bets. Don't know why I always struggle with those.

TENNESSEE -4 1/2 jacksonville
I think the Titans are bad but it's a lot to expect for Jacksonville to win a road game. They are the only team I beat on a best bet all season.

baltimore -3 1/2 TAMPA BAY
I keep picking against the ExpensiveCornPrices but they keep burning me. Maybe Mike Glennon really did make a big difference for this team.

CINCINNATI -7 carolina
This seems like way too many points to be giving to a good team like the Panthers, but I'm going to go with it anyway.

detroit +2 1/2 MINNESOTA
I'm sorry but I just don't think the Vikings are any good. I do like the Lions players but they never seem to play up to their potential.

BEST BET
new england -1 1/2 BUFFALO
I thought we were over this New England dynasty is dead crap. Tom Brady is going to play. There is nothing to worry about.

Last week: 2-3 (1 points)
Season: 12-13 (9 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (1-4)
Home Favorites: 0-2 (3-6)
Home Underdogs: 1-0 (1-1)
Road Favorites: 0-0 (2-3)
Road Underdogs: 1-1 (6-3)

Song of the Week

"Babe" - Styx
"You know it's you Babe
Whenever I get weary and I've had enough
Feel like giving up
You know it's you Babe
Giving me the courage and the strength I need
Please believe that it's true
Babe, I love you."

At Least I'm Memorable

I was in the cafeteria at work and I see this woman I know I recognize, so I’m staring at her trying to figure out who she is, and I can tell at the same time she’s trying to figure out who I am. She says “you don’t remember my name do you?” I said her name and asked "do you remember my name?” She said “no, but I know something about you. Something you don’t like. Dogs in costumes.”

Weekly Picks

I knew this would happen, I followed up a 5-point Week 3 with a zero point stinker last week, perhaps helping to usher in the demise of the New England Patriots dynasty.

NEW ENGLAND +1 cincinnati
Speaking of the New England dynasty, I think all that stuff is a little overstated. The Bengals are a bad opponent to try to bounce back against (could use the Raiders, like the Dolphins did, but they already beat them this year) and I thought the Pats would be getting 3 or 3 1/2 but I've learned not to let those things bother. I believe that they will win.

atlanta +3 1/2 NEW YORK GIANTS
I am trying to get in sync with Atlanta who I believe is still a good team with a lot of good players. I am not convinced about the Giants. I never pick against them and when I do they normally make me pay. But we will see.

Note: I heard a stat that Eli Manning is 2-1 at home in his career against the Falcons. I was at the one loss in his rookie year. It was the Sunday after the Malice at the Palace the previous Friday night. I listened to David Stern's press conference on the radio and when he was asked if the decision to suspend Artest for the entire season was unanimous and he said "yes, one-nothing."

PHILADELPHIA -6 1/2 st. LOUIS
The Eagles offense looked terrible against the 49ers. And the Rams have a good defense, but my overriding theory is that the same things rarely happen two weeks in a row.

houston +6 1/2 DALLAS
All of the sudden the Cowboys went from horrible to great. This is way too many points to give to a pretty good Texans team with a great defense that should be able to slow Dallas's running game and force Tony Romo into mistakes.

BEST BET
NEW ORLEANS -10 1/2 tampa bay
I've gotten one best bet right all year and it was the Colts coming off a loss and playing the Jaguars. Now we have the Saints coming off a blowout loss to the Cowboys playing the ExpensiveCornPrices who just pulled off a miracle win against the Steelers. If the Saints lose they fall to 1-4 and the season is lost. Doubt that will happen, so we just have to hope they win by enough.

Last week: 1-4 (0 points)
Season: 10-10 (8 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (1-3)
Home Favorites: 0-0 (3-4)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (0-1)
Road Favorites: 0-3 (2-3)
Road Underdogs: 1-1 (5-2)

Marching Bands and Solemn Holidays Don't Mix

Syracuse has had to move its normal pregame festivities for tonight's game against Louisville so as not to interfere with students observing Yom Kippur in Hendricks Chapel.

For those of you unfamiliar with the Syracuse campus consult the above picture.
Normally, pregame festivities including tailgate parties take place on the quad and in surrounding parking lots. And the marching band marches through the quad to the game, right past Hendricks Chapel.

A marching band and a bunch of loud drunks are certainly not fitting with the solemn attitude needed on Yom Kippur.

In respect to the Jewish students the University changed the plans to keep the quad and the area in front of Hendricks Chapel (the steps of which are a very common meeting/sitting spot on campus) clear.

"The pregame festivities will be held in the north area of the Carrier Dome between Gate D and the Heroy Geology Building and the marching band will play on the east side of the Dome by Irving Ave. Fans walking to the game will be directed around the quad and Hendricks Chapel."