How the Super Bowl Was Won

“You gotta have balls baby!”

The late great Amir Vahedi uttered those famous words during the 2003 World Series of Poker. Sean Payton is the coach of the Super Bowl Champions right now because he made aggressive calls to take the game away from the Colts.

Payton went for it on 4th down and goal late in the second quarter, and though he missed it was the proper risk to take. The play-calling may have been suspect but the Colts didn’t score and the Saints got that field goal anyway.

Maybe that decision emboldened Payton at halftime to decide to start the second half with an onside kick. I thought this was a great move because an unexpectedly high number of surprise onside kicks are recovered by the kicking team. It was a good chance to take because the reward is incredibly high and the risk is only about 30 yards of field position, which is significant but not back-breaking.

And even worse for Payton if these moves had backfired the same people who are praising his stones this morning would be ripping him to shreds had the Saints lost.

For having the guts to make what might have been a crucial mistake, Sean Payton is waking up a Super Bowl Champion this morning.

Super Bowl Ads

I thought the Super Bowl ads as a whole were lackluster this year but here are a few we enjoyed

Starting with my personal favorite, Doritos dog collar:



Bud Light T-Pain, did you know there are iPhone apps that do this to your voice:



Motorola Megan Fox Sexting. I love the ad genius who came up with this one, let's put Megan Fox in a bathtub sending naked pictures of herself. Really hard to come up with that idea:




Hyundai Brett Favre 2020. At least he's self-deprecating, sort of:



Boost Mobile Shuffle. I didn't find this funny at all, only including it because Billy loved it:




The original 7-minute long "Super Bowl Shuffle" was much funnier.

The Bud Light House, I haven't heard too much buzz about this one but I found it subtly clever:



Doritos Keep Your Hands off my Mama, it is kind of funny but aren't we past the precocious wise-cracking black child already?



Career Builder Casual Fridays. The new guy at work whom I now call "Work Smist" loved this one. That explains it:



Snickers Betty White and Abe Vigoda. Two classic comedians in the twilight of their careers joining forces for an hilarious commercial.

Weekly Picks

This horrible season has finally come to an end. I have one last chance to salvage something.

BEST BET
Indianapolis -5 New Orleans
Both teams can put up points, this much we know. Neither team has much of a running game so this game will come down to the quarterbacks. As good as Drew Brees is, I would take Peyton Manning (who has definitely shed his early-career choker label) over just about anyone of all time. The other thing is, I think the Colts have a better defense than New Orleans. Even without Dwight Freeney (who will try to play but probably won't be very effective) I trust Indy to get more pressure on the quarterback than the Saints. But as I always say, the biggest thing that determines games in turnovers, and that unpredictability is why games are so hard to pick. If the Saints get a couple or three fumbles, the announcers will remind us ad nauseum that they practice stripping the ball, and they will win. But I think the Colts will control the ball and get the win.

Indianapolis Colts 31 New Orleans Saints 24


Last week: 1-1 (2 points)
Season: 40-55 (38 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (9-11)
Home Favorites: 1-1 (9-15)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (1-2)
Road Favorites: 0-0 (16-16)
Road Underdogs: 0-0 (14-21)
Road Pickem: 0-0 (0-1)

Super Bowl Prop Bets

Why pick the spread and the over/under when so much more is available for the Super Bowl? Here's the best bets from the long list of prop bets available from bodog.


The first 1st down in the game will happen on a Pass or Run play?
Passing Play (First 1st Down) -180
Rushing Play (First 1st Down) +150

Both of these teams will come out passing and stay passing. The first first down of the game will likely come on the first play, Peyton Manning to Dallas Clark for 12 yards.

What will be the result of the first coaches challenge in the game?
Play Overturned -115
Play Stands -115

Way fewer than half of challenges are overturned. I can't believe we are getting even money for this.

Total number of pass interceptions made in the game by both teams
Over/Under (Total Pass Interceptions) 2½
Over +160
Under -200

The odds are rightfully against a high number of interceptions here but too many times we see great quarterbacks have bad games. We could even see both guys play well and still combine for three interceptions. The extra juice makes the over attractive.

Will there be a lead change in the second half
Yes (Lead Change 2H) +140
No (Lead Change 2H) -170

I think this will be a close game so I'm expecting the lead to change hands in the second half, probably more than once.

Total points scored by both teams
0-7 Points (Both Teams) 500/1
8-14 Points (Both Teams) 100/1
15-20 Points (Both Teams) 40/1
21-25 Points (Both Teams) 30/1
26-30 Points (Both Teams) 18/1
31-35 Points (Both Teams) 12/1
36-40 Points (Both Teams) 10/1
41-45 Points (Both Teams) 7/1
46-50 Points (Both Teams) 6/1
51-55 Points (Both Teams) 6/1
56-60 Points (Both Teams) 6/1
61-65 Points (Both Teams) 7/1
66-70 Points (Both Teams) 8/1
71-75 Points (Both Teams) 12/1
76-80 Points (Both Teams) 15/1
81 or more Points (Both Teams) 5/1

I think the chances are excellent this game will be in the 50s. So I am taking both 51-55 and 56-60 at 6 to 1 each.

Will the Game Total Be Odd or Even
Odd (Game Total) -135
Even (Game Total) +105

Not sure why odd seems more likely but I'll take even.

How long will it take Carrie Underwood to sing the National Anthem? Clock starts as soon as Underwood sings first Note and Stops when she sings her last note.
Over 1 Minute and 42 Seconds EVEN
Under 1 Minute and 42 Seconds -130

She just doesn't seem like the type to drag out her moment with long oversung notes. I expect a cool efficient performance from Ms. Underwood. And I also expect excessive promotion of her upcoming appearance on "How I Met Your Mother" from Jim Nantz who recently did a guest spot of his own.




What Color will the Gatorade be that is dumped on the Head Coach of the Winning Super Bowl Team?

Lime Green 10/1
Yellow 5/6
Orange 11/2
Red 8/1
Blue 25/2
Clear/Water 37/20

Yellow is the safe bet here but as the odds-on favorite its not worth the risk. Taking into account the odds you have to go with orange here.




Who will the Super Bowl MVP of the Game thank first? Wager is on Interview done with the Super Bowl MVP on field during the Trophy Presentation only.
God 3/2
Family 8/1
Teammates 1/1
Coach 12/1
Does not Thank Anyone 23/10

Drew Brees and Peyton Manning aren't Jesus people so God doesn't seem likely here. I'm betting on family but I could see other options (Brees - New Orleans fans, Manning - teammates) or if some wildcard MVP is selected we don't know what he will say. Plus couldn't God just take action on God then give someone the strength to win the MVP? And what if it's Jesus, does that count as God, or is he someone else entirely?

How Many Times will CBS announcers fully mention Hurricane Katrina during the game? Wager is on the number of times announcers specifically say - Hurricane Katrina - during the Game (from kick off until final whistle).
Over/Under 2 1/2
Over -190
Under +155

I don't think the oddsmakers considered that Jim Nantz is doing this game and he loves cheesy shit like this. Plus with Nantz I don't think we are at risk of him saying "Katrina" he's the type of tightass who will say Hurricane Katrina every time.

How Many Times will CBS show Kim Kardashian on TV during the Game? Wager is on the number of times Kim Kardashian will appear on TV during the Game (from kick off until final whistle). Live pictures only, Any Taped Pictures or Past Video does not count towards wager.
Over/Under 2 1/2
Over -125
Under -105

If Reggie Bush scores we will see at least three distinct shots of Kim Kardashian. Sometimes they tone this type of thing down for the Super Bowl so this is iffy but I am going over.

Note: you can also bet on the number of times they will show Archie Manning, Eli Manning or Tony Dungy.

What color top will Kim Kardashian be wearing at the Super Bowl? Wager is on color of top and not on jacket if seperate top and jacket are shown.
Black 4/7
White 13/4
Any Other Color 7/4

I think there is a good chance of her going with a black jacket and white top and since the odds are favorable for white, I'll bet on white. Plus, we know she loves black in her bottom, not in her top.



Will they show a replay of Tom Benson celebrating the missed field goal against Tampa Bay from the regular season?
Yes +250
No -325

No TV producer worth his salt would pass up the chance to show this awesome video to 150 million people.

Juvenile Jokes Force a Magazine to Change Its Name

In 1920 when the Hudson’s Bay Company began publishing a magazine for its 250th anniversary, The Beaver: A Journal of Progress probably seemed to be a good title. The company, which controlled much of the landmass that is now Western and Northern Canada, owed much of its early fortune to the trade in beaver pelts.

The Beaver, which was initially a bit of in-house boosterism, evolved into a respected magazine about Canadian history. The Bay, as the company is commonly known, shifted from fur trading to department stores. And last week Canada’s National History Society, the nonprofit group that now publishes The Beaver, decided that the Internet required the magazine to undergo a name change.

To be more precise, the title was doomed by a vulgar alternative meaning that causes Web filters at schools and junk mail filters in e-mail programs to block access to material containing the magazine’s name.

The trouble went beyond Web pages. The magazine found that its attempts to e-mail classroom aids to teachers were thwarted by its name, as were attempts to contact many readers.

The last issue as The Beaver, which announces the name change to Canada’s History, was mailed to subscribers last week.

My Entire Four Years at Syracuse Boiled Down to Two Minutes

How to Report the News

An Ad You Won't See During the Super Bowl

A gay dating website, mancrunch.com, had its ad rejected by CBS.



CBS said its standards and practices department rejected the ad. Gay groups are claiming discrimination but CBS also says it has very few ad slots left and it couldn't verify Mancrunch's financial status.

While I disagree with this decision because it seems like it was made because the ad shows two guys kissing, I also doubt Mancrunch's motives. I know a lot of gay men will watch the Super Bowl, but for the relative dollars it seems like Mancrunch would be better off advertising on the Oscars. I think they knew this ad would get rejected which allowed them to claim discrimination and get their ad out there without paying a dime.

What's Lindsey Vonn's Position?

Sports Illustrated's Winter Olympics Preview features U.S. skier Lindsay Vonn skiing down a mountain. At least that's what it looks like to me, but to some women it looks like a sex position, not a ski position.
"women are more likely than not to be in sexualized poses and not in action - and the most recent Vonn cover is no exception" according to a women's sports website.

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

Papa Poop is a frequent blood donor and he asked me to meet him at CitiField for the Mets Blood Drive.
I took the train out there after work to do the good deed, get a ride home (he would take Chase out for lunch while Mrs. Poop and I slept) and get two free tickets to a Mets game in April.



When registering I was asked to do "Alyx" which is a special form of blood donation in which they take just your red blood cells.

So I got hooked up to the machines and the guy told me that when the pressure cuff is tight I should squeeze to pump my blood, but then the cuff would loosen, I should stop squeezing and it would send the platelets and other stuff back into my vein. We would go through three cycles of this.

But after the first cycle I did feel the cuff release pressure and I stopped squeezing but I may have been holding my fist too tight. I started to feel excrutiating pain and my arm swelled to three times the size. I thought it was unusual but figured it was what happened when they put blood into your vein. When the nurse turned around he was like "holy shit, didn't you feel that?" He explained I must not have relaxed my arm enough and the blood blood was trying to get out, while the machine was pumping it back into my arm, and the needle slowly pulled out of the vein, and pouring into my arm under the skin. He wrapped my up real tight and this is what my arm looked like the next day.



The regretable thing is that they were unable to use any of my blood which went right in the garbage. I still got my free tickets but I think I was punished for years of laughing at hematomas.

LSD No-Hitter: Urban Legend or Baseball History?

One of the greatest urban legends of all-time is the story of Pittsburgh Pirates pitcher Dock Ellis saying he threw his 1970 no-hitter while high on LSD.
I have always rejected this story but baseball people take it as fact.
A new video takes Ellis's own description of that day and adds an animated imagining of what Ellis must have been seeing that day.



There is no way his story is true. Possible theories include: he was so high he thought it was the same day but it really was one day or two days after he dropped acid that he pitched the no-hitter. Or maybe like David Wells he just exaggerated and instead of recanting like Wells he kept adding on his own lie until he believed it himself. Or he made the whole thing up so he would be remembered.

Love is Blind

Meredith Whitney and Jonathan "Bradshaw" Layfield
She's one of the most respected analysts on Wall Street, he's a professional wrestler. Ok, he does profess to know about stocks but I really can't believe this pairing works.

I'm Amazed Tim Higgins Never T'd Up Roach

USC coach Kevin O'Neill fired team manager Stan Holt after he cursed at the officials over foul calls in the Trojans' game vs. Oregon. The box score shows 17 fouls against USC and 11 charged to the Ducks, but since Holt spoke up too frequently and too audibly, he was charged with a technical foul late in the second half of a close game. After that T, Oregon went on a 10-0 run and won the game, 67-57.

O'Neill pulled a George Steinbrenner after the game, firing Holt on the spot.

The call came with 4 minutes 35 seconds left and Oregon leading, 49-47. Stan Holt, a third-year manager, was deemed responsible.

"The referee told me he was screaming obscenities at him," O'Neill said. "That's on me and that will be rectified. It already has been. He's gone. If somebody's getting a technical foul, it's going to be me."
After Holt was slapped with the technical, the Oregon student section chanted "You're fired!" at him, causing Holt to leave the team bench and head into the bowels of the arena. Then, after the game, Trojan Dwight Lewis admitted Holt's technical changed the momentum of the game, and O'Neill apologized to the team for Holt's technical while Holt "stood 30 feet from the locker room" and was protected from reporters.

According to ESPN's Pat Forde:
Generally speaking, managers are expected to behave like Victorian-era children: seen but not heard. They do a ton of work behind the scenes, but the in-game sideline job description goes something like this:

Have water ready. Have towels ready. Have greaseboard ready for timeouts. Set up chairs for timeouts. Form human wall between timeout huddle and fans/TV cameras so they cannot see or hear coach ripping players for poor performance. Pick up shattered pieces of greaseboard after coach slams it to the floor during timeouts. Move back chairs after timeouts. Ardently cheer for your team without getting in anyone's way. Stoically endure sullen behavior of benched players when you try to hand them water. Don't lose anyone's sweats. Don't talk trash with enemy fans.

And do not, under any circumstance, get T'd up.

Roach was a team manager for SU, Boeheim's right-hand man and he never ever said a word during games or around the team at all, earning him the nickname Roach.

Song of the Week

"Lifetime" - Prophet Jones
Another song at least tangentially inspired by the late, great Teddy Pendergrass.

"I'm not talking bout a 30/70
I'm not talking bout a 60/40
I'm talking bout a 50/50 love"

Breaking Bad's Genuis Extends to Marketing

Not only is "Breaking Bad" the best show on television, the show's producers are now extending their genius to marketing.
It all started when someone at WeatherProof noticed President Obama wearing one of the company's coats on a trip to China.
WeatherProof bought the rights to use the picture from the Associated Press and pasted it on two giant billboards in Times Square.
The ad attracted a lot of attention because it featured the President and used his image without his permission.
The White House asked the company to take it down but since Obama would almost never sue over this WeatherProof kept the ad up for at least a month even though legally had it been sued it almost certainly would have lost the case.
And that's where "Breaking Bad" comes in.
The show took advantage of this publicity stunt and put a billboard near the WeatherProof one featuring Walter White (Bryan Cranston) photoshopped into the same picture of the Great Wall of China, in the President's place.
It also doctored several other key elements of the WeatherProof billboard all of which will hopefully bring attention to the premiere of the show's third season on March 21.

What Do You Give Me For? Rep. Henry Waxman and Punxsatawney Phil

What Do You Give Me For Rep. Henry Waxman and Punxsatawney Phil?

Mama Poop is Gonna Plotz

I have made an agreement with two other Syracuse alums at my office that if SU wins the national title this year we will all get the "Family Forever" tattoo Andy Rautins has on his side.



It's called an ambigram, when viewed one way it reads family, from the other side it spells forever.

I think Mama Poop would kill me but maybe she wouldn't mind if I got the Canadian Maple Leaf. If you've ever watched a Syracuse game you know Rautins played for the Canadian National team and was coached by his father Leo.



Then there's is Rautins's other tattoo, "Andrius" on his arm, which evidently is the Lithuanian form of Andrew.

Worst Person in the World: John Edwards

Former Senator John Edwards and his wife Elizabeth are now legally separated. News of a lovechild he had with former Rielle Hunter wasn't the tipping point. The child was born nearly two years ago and a couple weeks ago Edwards finally admitted paternity. The allegations in a new book "The Politician" written by his former top aide Andrew Young may have done it.
Here are some of the accusations in the book:

-When Hunter, a videographer hired by the Edwards campaign, became pregnant, Edwards persuaded longtime “body man” Young to claim he was the father. Young went into hiding with his wife, their three children — and Hunter.

-Young describes his alleged discovery of a compromising videotape of Edwards and a naked, pregnant lover, identified by Young as Hunter.

Donations: “S–t, they love me — they would do anything for me,” John Edwards would say after getting a big donation, Young writes. If refused, he would say, “What the hell — why are they wasting my time? I’m going to be president. I don’t have time for this s–t. Everyone wants to give me advice. I don’t want their advice. I want their money.”

Made in USA: Young says Edwards is an Atkins-dieter who hated making appearances at state fairs where “fat rednecks try to shove food down my face. I know I’m the people’s senator, but do I have to hang out with them?” Before a SEIU candidate forum in Las Vegas, Young says Edwards made him cut out a “made in the USA” label from Young’s own suit to sew in place of Edwards’s “made in Italy” label.

Edwards’ hair: “Naturally thick and lustrous, his hair was a fixation with him. He insisted on using just one kind of shampoo — HairTec Thick & Strong Shampoo for Fine, Fragile Hair,” Young writes. He says that for years he or Edwards personally paid for the expensive haircuts rather than publicly list them as campaign expenses. He blamed the gaffe – Edward’s campaign committee picked up the tab for two $400 haircuts — on “new, inexperienced staff.”

A confrontation: Shortly after John Edwards and Hunter returned from a trip to Uganda in 2006, Elizabeth Edwards answered a cell phone call to hear Hunter who “launched into a romantic monologue,” Young writes. According to Young’s account, Elizabeth confronted her husband who “confessed to having had a one-night stand but didn’t say with whom.” He called Hunter in front of his wife to end it, but later called her back to say he didn’t mean it.

Thoughts of leaving: Young says that Edwards would confide in him about how he thought about leaving “crazy” Elizabeth, but how she plays better with American voters than he. “I cringed when he said this,” Young writes.

Time together: While Elizabeth was on a book tour for “Saving Graces,” Hunter allegedly spent time at the Edwards home. Young writes that Hunter slept in their bed and entertained the children. He also writes that he listened as Edwards told her that one day they would form their own family and have a wedding where the Dave Matthews Band would play.

Hotel reservations: Keeping the affair running throughout the campaign wasn’t easy. “When I knew where the senator was staying, I made reservations in my own name, faxed copies of my credit card and state identification card, and told the hotel staff that my ‘wife’ would be checking in on my account,” Young writes. He said he paid for much of Hunter’s expenses out of his pocket, and Edwards promised reimbursement when they found wealthy campaign donors or when Elizabeth died and he no longer had to cover up such costs. “I’ll take care of you, Andrew,” he quotes Edwards as saying. “You know I’m good for it.”

Incurable cancer: Elizabeth Edwards said publicly that she discovered her cancer had returned shortly after a rib broke from a strong hug from her husband. Young writes that she broke her rib while she was moving boxes and her husband was in Iowa planning a tryst for Hunter’s birthday. Young writes that Edwards got the call and hurried home – and sent flowers to his angry mistress.

Hunter’s pregnancy: According to Young, Hunter called him in May 2007 to say she was pregnant. Young says that when he informed Edwards, the senator told him to “handle it,” to which he replied: “I can’t handle this one.” Young writes that Edward unloaded on Hunter as a “crazy slut,” said they had an “open relationship,” and put his paternity chances at “one in three.” Young says that Edwards asked him for help persuading Hunter to have an abortion. Young writes that Hunter believed the baby to be “some kind of golden child, the reincarnated spirit of a Buddhist monk who was going to help save the world.”

A move: Right before the Iowa debate, Young says Edwards asked him to take his family and Hunter and move away – all on the dime of trial lawyer friend Fred Baron. On Dec. 15, 2007, Young released a statement claiming paternity.

The decision to hide: Young writes that Edwards promised “He would make sure I had a job in the future,” and told him: “You’re family. A friend like no friend I’ve ever had.” Young goes on to say that Edwards concluded “that if I helped him, I would make Mrs. Edwards’s dying days a bit easier. ‘I know you’re mad at her, Andrew, but I love her. I can’t let her die knowing this.’”

The Universe Punishes Some Obnoxious High School Kids for Trying to Play a Joke on the Girls' Basketball Coach

A group of high school kids intended to play a prank on girls' basketball coach Joel Branstrom. They told him if he hit a half-court shot blindfolded he would win tickets to the Final Four. Never expecting him to make it they planned to cheer a miss to make him think for a minute he had done the improbably.



Luckily for Branstrom and those obnoxious kids the same Universe that punished them rewarded the coach who through some mysterious benefactor will get his final four tickets.

A 45-Year-Old Stuffed Animal

An amazing look at the enduring stuffed animal that has been on top of Mama Poop's dresser for as long as I've been alive.
These two pictures were taken roughly 45 years apart.

Where Have You Gone JD Salinger?

Author JD Salinger died this week at age 91.
Salinger is most famous for writing "The Catcher in the Rye" a book I have always intended to read but never got around to reading.
The only other thing most people know about him is that he is a recluse basically disappearing in the mid-60s.
His reclusiveness was the subject of an episode of the great mid-90s sitcom "The Single Guy" starring Jonathan Silverman. To impress a girl Silverman said he knew JD Salinger. His doorman, ably played by Ernest Borgnine tried to impersonate Salinger (made possible because he hadn't been seen in public for years).

Salinger may have spent his time in exile writing. We will soon find out the contents of a safe at his New Hampshire home.
It's is believed it contains a stack of finished, unpublished books.
Why would anyone write something then go to great lengths to make sure no one saw it?
"There is a marvelous peace in not publishing," J.D. Salinger told The New York Times in 1974. "Publishing is a terrible invasion of my privacy. I like to write. I love to write. But I write just for myself and my own pleasure."

That's sort of how I feel about this blog.

This Story Has It All: Grammar and Boobies

Two strippers facing prostitution charges are trying to use grammar to get them off. Hey, it gets me off. Porn star Alexia Moore and Falynn Rodriguez were dancing at Big Daddy Lou's Hot Lap Dance Club when they reportedly offered an undercover cop a threesome for $5,000.
The charges against them say that they did "engage, offer and agree" to acts of prostitution.
But the law actually says "engage, offer or agree" and since they didn't actually engage in the acts they claim the charges against them are invalid.
And if that doesn't work, they're going to try a lesbian defense.
These claims or some combination thereof worked as a judge dismissed the charges.




Here is the video cops shot during their raid that led to these arrests. Which one of these strippers is not like the others?

No Underscores Anywhere

Here's another story about protecting yourself online so I once again refer to the Poop's resident paranoid internet user, Mrs. Poop's mom.
She assigned Poppy an e-mail address full of underscores to ward off spam. It also wards off friends who can never remember the damn underscores.
But she deftly uses underscores in her passwords as well, something maybe most of us should try.

According to a new study, too many people have passwords that are way too obvious for hackers to figure out. About 20% of us use one of the 5,000 most common passwords. 5,000 may seem like a lot, but for a computer program running them repeatedly, it doesn't take long to try 5,000 possibilities.

The most popular passwords are 123456, 12345 and 123456789. In 4th place the incredibly idiotic: password.

Bracketology 101

I have long considered myself a student of Bracketology and now I can get the diploma to prove it.
ESPN's resident Bracketologist Joe Lunardi is actually teaching a course called Bracketology at his alma mater, St. Joseph's University.

Its an online course with three different start dates.

I don't believe it's officially accredited.

Students learn about the history of the NCAA tournament, the RPI and how to seed and bracket teams.

For the final exam you have to create your own bracket which is graded and signed by the great Joe Lunardi.

I would seriously be considering this if not for the time committment and the $249 price tag.

Why Syracuse Should Be Ranked #1

The AP and coaches’ polls in college sports don’t mean anything. Yes, this is true. But the only people who point this out are fans whose teams are not rated very highly in those polls. With Kentucky’s loss, there are no more unbeaten teams meaning Syracuse should be #1 as the king of the 1-time losers, and here’s why:

1) Syracuse leads every RPI and computer ranking – even before Kentucky’s loss. This is why I wince when people complain that college football is decided by computers. Better than being decided by voters. Yes the computers don’t watch the games – but neither do the voters. The computer rankings are the fairest way to evaluate teams when schedules are so drastically different.

2) Syracuse is #6 in strength of schedule, Kansas is 13, Villanova 48, Kentucky 84.

3) Syracuse has three wins against Top 25 RPI teams (California, Georgetown and West Virginia). Kansas has 2, Villanova and Kentucky each have 1.

4) When you take that out to the top 100 Syracuse has 12, Kansas 8, Villanova 8 and Kentucky 5.



By every measure Syracuse is better than all three of these teams. For ease, I’m going to eliminate Kentucky from the discussion because they won’t stay number one after the loss and they’re clearly inferior to Syracuse, Kansas and Villanova.

Here are the common opponents of Kansas and Syracuse:

Kansas beat Memphis by 2, Syracuse beat Memphis by 17

Oakland: Kansas by 30, Syracuse by 32

California: Kansas by 15, Syracuse by 18

Cornell: Kanass by 5, Syracuse by 12

About the only thing Kansas has over Syracuse is losing to a slightly better team, and doing so on the road instead of at home.

Similar results but not as striking for Villanova.

Basically no one can make any reasonable argument that Syracuse doesn’t deserve to be the number 1 team in the country except for the dumbass voters who vote based on what they thought 3 months ago.

But I repeat this does not matter. It only matters what you do in March. But it’s still fun to be number 1 in January.

Why Girls Suck At Math

A recent study shows why girls are not good at math.

The study of first- and second-graders says female elementary school teachers who are concerned about their own math skills could be passing that along to the little girls they teach

Young students tend to model themselves after adults of the same sex, and having a female teacher who is anxious about math may reinforce the stereotype that boys are better at math than girls, explained Sian L. Beilock, an associate professor in psychology at the University of Chicago.

Beilock and colleagues studied 52 boys and 65 girls who in classes taught by 17 different teachers. Ninety percent of U.S. elementary school teachers are women, as were all of those in this study. But by the end of the year, the more anxious teachers were about their own math skills, the more likely their female students -- but not the boys -- were to agree that "boys are good at math and girls are good at reading."

In addition, the girls who answered that way scored lower on math tests than either the classes' boys or the girls who had not developed a belief in the stereotype, the researchers found.

"It's actually surprising in a way, and not. People have had a hunch that teachers could impact the students in this way, but didn't know how it might do so in gender-specific fashion," Beilock said in a telephone interview.

After seeing the results, the researchers recommended that the math requirements for obtaining an elementary education teaching degree be rethought.

"If the next generation of teachers -- especially elementary school teachers -- is going to teach their students effectively, more care needs to be taken to develop both strong math skills and positive math attitudes in these educators," the researchers wrote.

Teacher math anxiety was measured on a 25-question test about situations that made them anxious, such as reading a cash register receipt or studying for a math test. A separate test checked the math skills of the teachers, who worked in a large Midwestern urban school district.

I trust that no matter who her teachers are Tall Olivia will be able to calculate batting averages with the best of them.

I suggest young girls should model themselves after Danica McKellar.

Song of the Week

"Feel So Good" - Razah

Another entry inspired by Teddy Pendergrass. This one samples and embodies portions of "When Somebody Loves You Back."

Skechers Makes the Best Shoes and The Best Ads

Because of my chronic foot pain, my unusual gait and my oddly-shaped feet, I have trouble finding comfortable shoes. But I have several pairs of Skechers and find them to be quite comfortable and at times even stylish. But maybe I just like their ads.

The Dog Whisperer Cesar Millan and his family:


And of course the classic Skechers ad, Carrie Underwood and a bunch of yellow lab puppies:

I Think She Split Her Pants

British bobsledder Gillian Cooke was so focused while preparing for a run at the World Championships she didn't notice a sudden chilly breeze:



EMBED-Bobsled Wardrobe Malfunction - Watch more free videos

I guess its not very aerodynamic to wear undergarments under those suits:



But that was only the second funniest pants-split of the week. The funniest occurred on American Idol when a guy tried to do a split -- and he still made it to Hollywood.

What Really Happened

Thanks to the Daily Beast we finally know what happened the night Tiger Woods crashed his SUV. The article isn't all that long so I post the entire thing here. Most of it fits with what we already thought but there are some new details about the text messages that make this a compelling read.

While the Tiger Woods drama has played out in an extraordinarily public way, the details from before and after the golfer’s Thanksgiving night car crash—the trigger for one of the costliest sports-related scandals ever—have remained shrouded in mystery. Two sources who know Tiger’s wife, Elin Nordegren, and have discussed various details of the story with her, have corroborated a minute-by-minute account that answers the majority of the questions surrounding what might be the most expensive car crash in history.

Among their revelations:

•Just before Tiger’s affair with Rachel Uchitel was reported in the National Enquirer, he put Uchitel on the phone with his wife for a half-hour, so she could convince Elin the relationship was platonic.
•Elin confirmed her lingering suspicions about Tiger’s affair with Uchitel by impersonating her husband in text messages with Uchitel, prompting the rage that led to Woods fleeing his house.
•Tiger had taken the sedative Ambien that night, and was in a stupor when Elin woke him following her sting operation on Uchitel.
•After his wife’s wakeup, Tiger sent Uchitel a panicky text warning her that Elin had discovered the affair and implying that divorce was imminent. Elin quickly found this text as well, which precipitated her chasing him out of the house with a golf club.
•Tiger did not immediately return home when he was released from the hospital, likely explaining why Elin did not accede to much-publicized requests from visiting police officers to chat with Woods.
Both sources spoke on the condition of anonymity, because Elin Nordegren did not give them permission to discuss her conversations with them.

During the run-up to Thanksgiving, these sources say that Tiger gave Elin advance warning that the National Enquirer was about to run a story claiming that he had an affair with Rachel Uchitel, a New York- and Las Vegas-based nightlife entrepreneur, who had just reportedly finished a torrid affair a few months earlier with married actor David Boreanaz. Woods swore to Elin that the Enquirer story was false and that he had only met Uchitel once or twice at social outings.

Elin remained suspicious, according to one of the sources. On November 25, the day before Thanksgiving, as Internet rumors spread of the about-to-be-released Enquirer story, Tiger convinced Uchitel to talk to Elin. The two women spoke by phone for about half an hour, and after the conversation, according to this source, she was satisfied that the relationship was platonic.

The next day, Thanksgiving, Elin learned some of the Enquirer’s specifics about the purported affair, including a recent rendezvous in Australia. That evening, the two argued. Tiger decided to end the bickering , both sources confirm, by taking Ambien and going to sleep. (According to what Elin has told one of the sources, Woods regularly had trouble sleeping, and Ambien was his primary sleep aid.)

After Woods fell asleep, Elin looked through his cellphone, both sources confirmed. There she found text messages to Uchitel’s number—Uchitel was apparently listed in Tiger’s cellphone under her real name—and among them she discovered one that said, “You are the only one I’ve loved.”

Shortly after 1 a.m. in Florida, Elin began texting Uchitel, pretending to be Tiger, according to both sources. Elin wrote, “I miss you,” and asked, “When are we seeing each other again?”

Uchitel texted back, seemingly surprised that Woods was awake. Elin specifically felt, one source told me, that this response indicated that the two of them spoke earlier that night, before Tiger took his Ambien. At that point, Elin called Uchitel, who answered thinking it was Tiger calling. Both sources said that Elin said something approximating, “I knew it was you.”

Uchitel’s surprised reply, according to what Elin told one source: “Oh f--k.” She immediately hung up.

Normally quiet and controlled, Elin later told one source she became enraged and woke Tiger by screaming at him. He seemed disoriented, still in a stupor from the Ambien. The fight ratcheted up quickly.

But then chaos ensued when she grabbed his cellphone when he came out after locking himself in the bathroom for several minutes. Both sources confirm that Tiger had apparently, shortly after waking up, sent another short text to Uchitel warning that Elin had uncovered the affair, that he was about to pack, and that a divorce might be imminent.

Elin didn’t tell Woods what she’d seen, one source says. She simply exploded, trying to hit him on the chest and arms with her fists, and then finally chasing him from the house while she wielded a golf club. Shoeless, he ran into the car and barreled out of the driveway before careening off a fire hydrant and then smashing into a tree. Neither source said they knew the details of how the rear windows in the Escalade were knocked out, though one source says that the story Tiger told police at the accident scene about Elin smashing them in an attempt to free him from the wreck was a lie designed to protect his wife.



When he was released later from the hospital, Tiger was whisked off to an undisclosed location, Elin too furious to allow him back that afternoon. This likely explains why Elin told police who arrived at their mansion outside Orlando that Woods did not care to speak with them then, once saying he was asleep and couldn’t even see them.

Woods’ representatives did not reply to multiple requests for comment. Sorrel Trope, the 82-year-old dean of Los Angeles celebrity divorce lawyers, who has been advising Elin, also did not answer a request for comment. Gloria Allred, the attorney for Rachel Uchitel, wrote by email, “We have no comment on this.”

According to one friend, Elin remains furious about the events on Thanksgiving, but will wait for the golfer to finish any rehab treatment he’s undergoing before making a final decision on whether to pursue a divorce.

The Best Football Player to Get Away With Murder Since OJ Simpson

A great article in GQ explains how former Syracuse and Indianapolis Colts receiver Marvin Harrison got away with murder.

It's a long article so I'll summarize it. Marvin Harrison owns several businesses in North Philly including a bar called Playmakers and Chuckie's Car Wash. When Dwight Dixon was denied entrance to Playmakers, he took the insult personally. Eventually he was denied service at the car wash, the bar again, and when he tried to get a car wash for the second time, Harrison shot him. Dixon didn't die then, but he was killed later, probably at Harrison's request.

Despite having what seemed like an open and shut case against Harrison including eyewitnesses, physical evidence and incriminating statements from Harrison himself, the DA elected not to pursue, not wanting to have her career ruined by being wrong in such a high-profile case.

Read the whole article, and the update that the DA is considering reopening this case.

Imagine if This Had Happened to a Muslim Praying to Mecca

A plane from New York to Kentucky was diverted to Philadelphia after stewardesses told the pilot a passenger with a device with "wires" coming out of it, was talking loudly on the plane.
It turns out the passenger in question was a 17-year-old orthodox Jew who was using tefillin and praying loudly.
"It's something that the average person is not going to see very often, if ever," FBI spokesman J.J. Klaver said.
The teen explained the ritual after being questioned by crewmembers of the flight, which had left LaGuardia Airport around 7:30 a.m. and was operated by Chautauqua Airlines, authorities said.
Officials with the airline, however, said crewmembers "did not receive a clear response" when they talked with the teen, according to a statement issued by Republic Airways, which owns Chautauqua.
"Therefore, in the interest of everyone's safety, the crew decided to land in Philadelphia, where a more complete investigation and follow-up with authorities would be possible," the statement said.
The plane landed without incident and was met by police, bomb-sniffing dogs and officials from the FBI and Transportation Security Administration.
Authorities said the plane was searched and passengers were questioned. The teen, who is from White Plains, New York, and was traveling with his 16-year-old sister, was very cooperative, Vanore said.
"They were more alarmed than we were," Vanore said.
The flight was carrying 15 passengers and three crewmembers.

Are the Jets a Cinderella?

Weekly Picks

I went with all the underdogs last week and that didn't work out so well. This is probably a good week to go with underdogs again because of those extra half points on the spreads.

NEW ORLEANS -3 1/2 minnesota
Both teams have great offenses, exciting running backs and quarterbacks playing very well right now. I think this game will come down to turnovers. Brett Favre and Adrian Peterson seem more turnover prone than Drew Brees and the Saints.

BEST BET
INDIANAPOLIS -7 1/2 new york jets
The Jets have had a fine run but it ends here. You can't confuse Peyton Manning and you can't keep up with him by running the ball alone. And if the Jets open it up with a little more pssing, Mark Sanchez will kill them. They just don't have the weapons to beat the Colts.

Last week: 1-3 (0 points)
Season: 39-54 (36 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (8-11)
Home Favorites: 0-0 (8-14)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (1-2)
Road Favorites: 0-0 (16-16)
Road Underdogs: 1-3 (14-21)
Road Pickem: 0-0 (0-1)

Is This Getting a Little Creepy Now?

Senator-Elect Scott Brown was criticized by whiny liberal babies upset they lost the Senate seat and the chance to shove health care reform down the throats of the American people for "pimping out" his daughters in his acceptance speech, by saying they were "available."
Now they have some new evidence to support their claims.
This picture surfacing of Scott Brown and his daughters Ayla and Arianna.



It's obvious they are at some Hawaii-themed party which can sort of explain the seashell bikinis. But still some people might think it's a little weird to wear that in front of your father and pose for a picture with -- making him look like the second-coming of Joe Pimpson.
I'm not really sure what to think of this so I asked around and a lot of girls said they'd be around their father while wearing a regular bikini, but that seashell bra is a little too much for paternal eyes.

By the way, check out the Would You Bang? Ayla Brown. Looks like none is needed for Arianna because she looks good enough to be the cream of the crop at Faegan's at 1:45 am. For those who don't know, Arianna is pre-med at Syracuse and Faegan's is the bar where the rich kids hang out.

I Want to Give Conan a Best Friend Hug

Ed Helms stopped by "The Tonight Show" go give Conan O'Brien a special send-off with a personalized version of Stu's Song.



And here's the original Stu's Song from the Hangover.

Mrs. Poop's Hate List

Normally when you read something on this blog attributed to Mrs. Poop I took some innocent comment of hers and completely distorted it and then she got angry. But there is one case where she totally stands behind the mean thing I made come out of her mouth. Asked to form Mrs. Poop's Hate List there is only one name on it: Frank DeFord. That's right the aging sportswriter aggravates Mrs. Poop so much that she openly admits to hating him. Every month when "Real Sports" is on I save it on the DVR to show her whatever kind of ridiculous outfit DeFord is wearing. But the 2009 year-end roundtable took the cake. DeFord was wearing purple socks, and quite possibly even purple shoes (that seemed to be the implication from the conversation but it's hard to see in the pictures).




This set Mrs. Poop off. In fact I sent her an e-mail asking her to come up with the five things she hates most about him and this was her response:

"His hair
His clothes
His moustache
His teeth
The way he talks"

In case you're not familiar with DeFord he's a legendary sports writer but he's balding and slicks his hair back on the top and it poofs out on the sides. Even though he is a huge man, his clothes are often too big, and even more often they're purple. He has a pencil-thin moustache and crooked teeth. And he always talks as if he has just run five miles. And it is so funny to get Mrs. Poop riled up about him.

Best Beer Slogan Ever

A Scottish brewery called BrewDog is getting some attention for its Toyko beer which authorities want to ban because of its 18.2% alcohol content and its label which contains the best beer slogan ever:

"Everything in moderation, including moderation itself. What logically follows is that you must, from time to time, have excess."

God Is In The Details

In the Jets-chargers playoff game everyone is breaking down two coaching decisions: Norv Turner going for an onside kick with a little more than 2 minutes to go and Rex Ryan going for it on 4th and 1 in field goal range.

Ryan's team made the yard, Turner's team didn't recover the kick. And the reactionary press is praising Rex and killing Norv.



I would have chosen the opposite in both cases. But the point is an argument can be made on both sides.

But one decision for which there is no defense is getting very little attention because it turned out to have little or no impact on the game.

Norv Turner saving his final time out until after the 2-minute warning, a indefensible move that could have cost his team valuable seconds.

Sports Illustrated's Joe Posnanski (who is fast becoming my favorite sports writer not named Peter King) uses the Turner timeout as an example of a larger trend plaguing the leage's coaches: they are horrible at clock management.

Coaches in the NFL have no idea how to use the clock.

This is astounding to me. As you no doubt know, football coaches will spend hundreds of hours every week studying film to get the tiniest advantage in a game. They will look for almost imperceptible flaws -- a lineman looking down at specific moments, a linebacker who tends to get overaggressive on reverses, a quarterback who drops his arm on certain throws, a receiver who does not run out his routes on running plays. They are looking for any edge, even an edge that, 99 percent of the time, will not matter. Coaches coach for that one percent of the time.

And yet: They treat the clock like college students treat their alarm clock. If there was a snooze button on an NFL clock, coaches would hit it repeatedly.


Papa Poop and I have often had the same discussion about the 2-point conversion. We fail to understand why coaches still don't know how (and more importantly, when) to utilize it, because it can play such an important role in deciding a game. And its so simple.

I can't understand why guys who work 18 hours a day don't devote 15 minutes one time to understanding the simple but important concepts of timeout management and the correct use of the 2-point conversion.

I recommend reading Posnanski's entire article and his detailed analysis of the best players in baseball from 1970 until now. You will gain a new appreciation for Ken Singleton, Will Clark and OPS+.

Master Bates and Papa Poop Are in Trouble

The IRS plans to require tax preparers to pass a test and register with the government to better police a largely unregulated industry used by most taxpayers.

The Internal Revenue Service says there could be more than a million people offering tax preparation services. Most offer sound advice, IRS Commissioner Doug Shulman says, but many don't and the agency knows little about them.

The new regulations, announced Monday, won't be in effect for the current filing season -- individual tax returns are due April 15. But Shulman said tax preparers will be held to higher standards in future years as the IRS steps up its oversight to help reduce fraud and errors.

"Taxpayers will get improved service and enhanced standards from tax preparers, and they'll have less risk that they'll get bad advice," Shulman told reporters. "The tax preparation industry will get more consistency and a level playing field."

Shulman said he hopes to have all paid tax preparers registered by the 2011 filing season. Preparers will be given about three years to meet competency requirements, though there is much work to be done to develop standards and tests.

Eventually, tax preparers will be required to complete annual training and will be subject to penalties for unethical conduct, Shulman said. Taxpayers will be able to check the credentials of preparers on a public IRS database.

Song of the Week

"Back in the Day" - Ahmad
“I miss those days so I pout like a grown jerk
Wishing all I had to do now was finish homework”

I think about that line a lot because I was awful about doing my homework, but had I realized how easy homework was compared to the real life problems I face now I probably would have been a little less difficult about it.

You may notice this song samples from Teddy Pendergrass's "Love TKO."

Great Excuse for a Loss

The Knicks were afraid, very afraid. And it had nothing to do with the Oklahoma City Thunder.

For two days, several players had trouble sleeping because they were convinced that their downtown hotel is haunted.

"I definitely believe it," Jared Jeffries said. "The place is haunted. It's scary."

Eddy Curry claims he slept for only two hours Sunday night because he couldn't stop thinking about ghosts roaming the hotel.

For years, guests staying at the Skirvin Hilton have reported ghost sightings and strange noises. Legend has it that sometime in the 1930s, a woman jumped to her death while holding her baby in her hands.

"They said it happened on the 10th floor and I'm the only one staying on the 10th floor," Curry said. "That's why I spent most of my time in (Nate Robinson's) room. I definitely believe there are ghosts in that hotel."

Assistant coach Herb Williams teased Jeffries and Curry for believing that the Skirvin is haunted, but Curry wasn't laughing.

"There are too many stories," Curry said. "Something is going on there."

The Future of the Free World Depends on the Outcome of the Massachusetts Senate Race

If you are listening to the news or reading the papers today's special election in Massachusetts will decide the fate of our nation.

If Republican Scott Brown wins the election to replace the late Ted Kennedy, Republicans will have 41 seats in the Senate and the ability to block a final vote on a compromise health care bill.

If Martha Coakley wins, health care passes. Coakley once had a huge lead, not surprising in a very liberal state. But latest polls show that lead shrinking considerably with Brown leading in some polls. President Obama was in Massachusetts on Sunday stumping for Coakley, a move that didn't work so well for Jon Corzine.

But I don't really care about the serious side of politics, I only care about the horse race aspect and the silly things candidates do and say, like when Martha Coakley said Curt Schilling was a Yankees fan:



Or when Scott Brown was in Cosmo:



You may remember Brown's daughter Ayla as a contestant on American Idol Season 5:



If Brown wins this election (and prevents health insurance reform from passing) it could be seen as karmic payback for Ted Kennedy. His death would be the only thing preventing his lifelong dream from becoming reality.

Golden Globes

Mariah Carey shows off her Golden Globes

Pants on the Ground

The breakthrough star of the last relevant season of "American Idol" (before Simon leaves) is General Larry Platt. Not a military general, he earned that mythical title during his battles in the civil rights movement.

His now famous "Pants on the Ground" was inspired three years ago when he saw a guy walking down a downtown Atlanta street with a baby in his arm and his pants slipping below his hips. “He had his underwear showing,” Platt recalled. The song came to him spontaneously. He started chanting the chorus to “Pants on the Ground.” “He was being disrespectful so I wanted to embarrass him,” Platt said. “He rolled his eyes and pulled his pants up a little bit.”



The song sure is catchy, and a 62-year-old trying out for Idol is a little goofy as is the song itself. But not lost in the goofiness is the social message in the song. Young African-American men won't be taken seriously in society so long as they are "walking downtown with [their] pants on the ground."


As is always the case on the internet the song has created numerous copycats, starting with Jimmy Fallon's version as Neil Young:



Then there was Brett Favre singing it in the Vikings locker room after beating the Cowboys.

A Big Ass is the Key to a Healthy Life

The kind of fat found in the hips and buttocks may actually help fight diabetes, a result that surprised Harvard doctors performing the research that produced the finding. Although belly fat is known to raise the risk of diabetes, subcutaneous fat injected into the abdomens of mice actually increased their sensitivity to insulin and even helped them lose weight, Reuters reports.

"We actually found it had a beneficial effect, and it was especially true when you put it inside the abdomen," the study's lead doctor said, referring to the subcutaneous fat. "It's an important result because not only does it say that not all fat is bad, but I think it points to a special aspect of fat where we need to do more research."

Here's a partial list of woman at no risk for diabetes: