Hot Chips and a Bunch of Other Hot Things

While following the World Series of Poker online I fell in love with Tiffany Michelle. She is the On-Camera Hostess for PokerNews.com and the one you can see chatting with Daniel Negreanu (here and here).

In every interview she conducted she displayed class, beauty, quick-thinking, beauty, poker knowledge and did I mention she's hot.



Tiffany Michelle (Graham is her real last name, Michelle is her middle name) grew up in LA and spent her childhood acting, singing, dancing and playing poker. She played poker for the first time with her two brothers (one is a twin, I bet he's handsome) and her grandfather when she was 9. She went to UCLA and pursued acting and that's when she started playing in Hollywood home games with some actor friends.
She turned 21 in 2005 and won the first tournament that she played at Harrah's in Las Vegas.
Since then, in addition to playing (best finish at a major tournament, 21st at a WPT event), she's become a poker reporter and now she's the On-Camera Hostess for PokerNews.com.



She also appeared on Game Show Network's World Series of Blackjack.



Tiffany is still trying to work on her acting and thinks her poker career will help her acting by giving her exposure. And I am all for more exposure for her.

Tiffany appeared in an episode of CSI with a gaping chest wound.



Tiffany says she is not dating double bracelet winner Jeff Madsen, but she gets that question all the time. She says they're just friends, there's no romance there and she feels like his older sister.

I'd like to think Jeff feels the same way about her but I have the feeling that he's dying to date her and everytime she dates some older, smarter, better looking guy who treats her like shit he dies inside. And when she gets drunk and says she loves him he wants to think it means that type of love he feels for her. But maybe I'm wrong. Maybe they have the world's only friendship between average looking guy and hot girl where the guy doesn't want to fuck her either. But I doubt it.



She loves skittles but she likes to shove them in her mouth all at once. I am very against this method of eating Skittles, I believe Skittles should be savored one at a time, by color, from worst to best. If she had to eat them that way, she would save the grape ones for last.

She has one dog, a Jack Russell Terrier named Brooklyn. I guess a Jack Russell is a good breed for a hot chick to own. Of course I prefer that all hot chicks have labs, or other big dogs, but a Jack Russell is much better than a bichon or a 2 lb. chihuahua that fits in a Marc Jacobs handbag.

If you're ever at the poker table with Tiffany you can expect her to play some junk hands, especially those with a 6 in them. She didn't specifically say her favorite hand was 6-9 but I like to think it is.








Tiffany was so gracious, that when I e-mailed her a bunch of questions, some serious and some stupid, she answered almost all of them. She didn't say whether she had a boyfriend and she thought my question about palindromes was a trick to prove she's stupid. I'm sorry she felt that way, but I guess she had no way of knowing how much I love palindromes.

The Fielders in Simpler Times

You may remember from stories in Sports Illustrated and Real Sports about the strained relations between Prince Fielder and his father Cecil. But it wasn't always that way.

Thank God For Copy Editors

The sports teams at Northern Arizona University are called the Lumberjacks. The ladies' teams are called the Lady Lumberjacks, sometimes shortened to Lady Jacks. But maybe this is one time they should have stuck with Lady Lumberjacks.

Best Horse Name Ever

Mrs. Poop and I have been joking about this one for years. I'm glad someone finally found the clip.

Sometimes The World is a Great Place

Olivia Munn of the G4 Network was talking about a sport (or something) in which women eat hot dogs suspended on a string while riding a motorcycle. Then she demonstrates.

Only watch first two minutes or so, but notice the way she wipes the corners of her mouth.

Don't Cry Over Spilled Soda

I watched last night's dramatic Met game in my bedroom, which is rare since I don't have DVR up there. But right after Luis Castillo's game-tying single I jumped up and startled the dog. He got up and ran to me, and banged into my nightstand, knocking my can of soda onto the floor. Luckily it didn't spill, it just sort of splattered. But Mrs. Poop was furious.
Then after the game, after the double play, I jumped up to lead Diesel downstairs to give him his reward for a Mets victory.
On the way out of the room, Diesel again banged into the table knocking the can onto the floor again, prompting Mrs. Poop to yell at us again. Luckily for us, this time the can was empty.

Baseball is Poop

An Offensive Performance
The Los Angeles Dodgers have been shut out in three straight games, and 4 of their last 5. The pitchers who shut them out were Brandon Webb, Bronson Arroyo and Aaron Harang, and Doug Davis was not part of the streak. They have lost 6 straight and 14 of their last 18. Chad Billingsley started off the season 7-0. In his last two starts he has given up 2 runs in 12 2/3 innings and lost them both by the score 1-0. Over the longer 18-game slump, Matt Kemp has lost 61 points off his batting average and James Loney has lost 53. The Dodgers are now in fourth place in the NL West and falling fast.

Don't Harangue Him
Cincinnati Reds pitcher Aaron Harang is quietly having a remarkable season. He has a .786 winning percentage on a team with a .434 WPCT. His three losses were all legitimate games he pitched badly in, and the offense bailed him out of two other games he should have lost. But he also has a 1.62 ERA in his 8 other no decisions including 1 run in 10 innings, 1 run in 8 innings, 0 runs in 7 innings and 1 run in 9 innings.
In 1972 Steve Carlton had a .730 WPCT (27-10) on a team that had a .378 WPCT (59-97). The exact same difference as Harang has with this year's Reds, but Carlton had 46% of his team's total wins, compared to 22% for Harang.
I think I like Harang because a few years ago he pitched with a misspelling on his jersey.



A New Home Run Record
Barry Bonds broke the all-time home runs record again. Now he has 757, dramatically reducing the value of the home run ball caught by Matt Murphy.

Who Are These Guys?

Player A - 2005: 141 games 520 ABs 95 runs 32 HRs 108 RBI .317 BA .959 OPS
Player B - 2005: 151 games 582 ABs 83 runs 16 HRs 78 RBI .266 BA .744 OPS
Player A - 2006: 156 games 607 ABs 92 runs 33 HRs 116 RBI .329 BA .934 OPS
Player B - 2006: 140 games 510 ABs 127 runs 41 HRs 116 RBI .275 BA .982 OPS
Player A - 2007: 109 games 410 ABs 64 runs 18 HRs 90 RBI .329 BA .965 OPS
Player B - 2007: 96 games 373 ABs 55 runs 19 HRs 62 RBI .263 BA .823 OPS

Angry Drunk Uses My Trash Can As A Trash Can

The other day I found 3 bottles of beer and $23 worth of losing lottery tickets discarded in my trash can.
Now I don't really have a problem with people using my trash can for it's intended purpose but he could have at least but the bottles in recycling.
But what was interesting was the guy was drinking some strange beer I'd never heard of, Baltika Extra Lager.



I also found it unusual that he dumped all three bottles in my garbage. After he finished the first two he carried the bottles around until he finished the third. That seems strange. And how far was he walking that he finished three bottles of beer?

Why Youtube Is The Devil

Youtube is a great thing. But with all great things there is a downside. The downside of youtube, besides the hours Michael has wasted on it, is that people use it as an excuse to do stupid shit and then post it on youtube.

Remember when idiotic teenagers would jump out of their cars, while still in drive, and dance alongside as the car rolled down a hill, or into a dumpster? It was called ghostriding.

The new trend is called fire in the hole. You order a drink from the drive-thru then throw it in the face of the poor fast food employee while yelling "fire in the hole.

I believe Glenn Reinhardt started this trend except he yelled "eat a dick" before throwing the Moutain Dew.

Youtube is doing a good job policing this, taking down most of the clips right away. So good in fact that I had to embed a video from another site. Screw you youtube, you lost the publicity, but you get to keep the tag.

She's Just Jealous Because Jesus Is One Of Us

Amber Tomcavage a contestant on Big Brother 8 hates Jews. In a conversation with another houseguest which was caught on camera (everything is caught on camera, that's the point of the show) calling Jews "selfish," "money-hungry" and saying her mom and sister told her you can tell who is Jewish by looking at their noses.
Listen for yourself, the good parts go start at 50 seconds.



Amber is a cocktail waitress from Las Vegas. She is a single mother and former drug addict who probably got knocked up by her dealer when she was out of money and needed to score some more blow. She cries constantly over nothing and coupled with her occassional bouts of delirium she seems like a manic depressive. She also loves Jesus and admitted to being a nympho.

Les Moonves who runs CBS and is married to Julie Chen, the host of Big Brother, is Jewish. At first I thought they should kick her ass off (what she said was right out of Hitler's handbook, while Imus was only guilty of a bad joke), but now I've changed my mind. They should leave her in the house because the great thing about Jews compared to other racial groups is that we don't allow our self-esteem to be affected by these dumbass comments.

And I guarantee those $100 tippers she speaks about are Jews.

It's a Hard Knock Life

Airing on HBO tonight is "Hard Knocks: Training Camp With the Kansas City Chiefs."
The show took four seasons off after teams were reluctant to consent to allowing the kind of access necessary.
The first season was with the Baltimore Ravens after they won the Super Bowl. Nothing will ever top the incredible confluence of circumstances that led to having Shannon Sharpe, Tony Siragusa and Ray Lewis on the same team at the same time. And Ray Lewis gets third billing. The most memorable moment of course was after Siragusa (Goose with 2 Os) locked the tight ends in their trailer. That led to Shannon Sharpe uttering these immortal words "I want my restitution Goose. I hate that Goose. Fat ass Goose." At least I think that's how it went.
The Chiefs may not even reach the level of the diminished second season which featured the Dallas Cowboys and Dave Campo in a wet suit ("swimming with killer whales, now that's gangsta"). Though they did have the Dallas Cowboy cheerleader tryouts running concurrently with the director of the squad telling the girls they were fat and not to wear their "thongs."
But with Herman Edwards, who is a complete idiot, but a funny idiot, the Chiefs season should be entertaining. If you are expecting the season to rival the Ravens year, then you are setting yourself up for disappointment, but I urge you to watch and I'm pretty sure we'll get a couple of gems from Edwards, we'll see some cool training camp stuff and meet at least one Chief that is funnier than we thought he was.

The Power of the Pack

Awesome video showing how the wild really works. You must watch this whole thing and pay attention really carefully. This is just an incredible, scary, but beautiful look inside the way the animal kingdom operates.

TON is going to get eaten by one of these lions on phase II of his honeymoon in Tanzania.

The Floods Are Coming

Right now, my building is flooded. The waters are rising and we're all in trouble. I'm really not sure how it happened, I think it was a combination of the rain and something breaking. This is not just a leak, it's pretty much a full fledged flood.
When you walk into the elevator bank you can hear running water. It sounds like one of those wasteful water treatments at a high end spa. You can also hear it in the ceilings in certain places. At one desk it sounds like one of those noise machines, set to "gentle rain."
I've gone to the bathroom to piss four times already this morning.
One of the elevators actually has a sheet of water spilling down into the doorway when the door opens, it's like you're walking through a waterfall.
On the 10th floor (where the cafeteria is), there is an inch of standing water, when I stepped out of the elevator I almost slipped and broke my ass.
When I got up there three maintenance guys were running around sloshing through the puddles and yelling frantically into their walkie-talkies. "There's water on 7 and 8 too? I'm on 10 and it's completely flooded."
The freight elevator is flooded, water is pouring out of the ceiling, and it has crept about two feet into the hallway.
Elevators are shut down so I will have to use the stairs, thankfully I'm only on the fourth floor.

Update: My egress from the building was just as exciting. I was directed to the 5th floor so the security guards could send me to the proper staircase to use to exit the building. The staircase they chose was incredibly hot and muggy and it smelled like and old gym locker. There was water on each and every step and halfway down I encountered the man charged with making this stairwell safe for everyone who wanted to leave the building. He was about 70 years old, he had a mop and bucket and he was sweating profusely and mopping his brow with a hankerchief. The staircase was so hot and humid that by the time I got outside into the regular New York City summer heat and humidity it felt like I had just walked into air conditioning.

Mets Fan Catches 756

Matt Murphy, a 22 year old Mets fan from Queens, caught Barry Bonds' record breaking home run ball. He went to the Giants game on a stop before a trip to Australia. Apparently he didn't even have a ticket he and his friend, a Yankee fan, got them from a scalper (not sure how much he paid but whatever it was it was a great investment). 43,000 Giants fans and one Mets fan grabs it, like I said, "we are few, but we are strong."

Song Of The Week

"Let's Get Married" - Jagged Edge
First it was TON, now Billy is getting married, so this certainly seems appropriate.
Plus it's just an awesome R&B song, my favorite kind, smooth and soulful with a good beat.
Some of you might prefer the remix, but I don't.
Also Jagged Edge has their own channel where you can see about a dozen of their videos, I recommend "What's It Like?" if you haven't heard it before.

Steroids in Baseball

At the start of the 1997 baseball season Syracuse University held a panel to discuss the state of baseball. On this panel were Murray Chass of the New York Times and Pete Thamel then of The Daily Orange, now of the New York Times and other people I don't remember.
After the panel discussion I went up to Murray Chass, and I swear this is true, and asked him about steroids in baseball. He looked at me like I was crazy. He trotted out the now trite apologists' argument "steroids don't help you hit a baseball."
I brought up Kevin Elster who basically took four years off, then came back and hit 24 homers in 1996.
The point is not that I was right, because that happens so often it's no longer worth pointing out, the point is that the establishment (players, managers, executives, writers) willingly ignored the signs of steroid use, that observant people should have noticed.
One writer who was on the ball was Bob Nightengale (now with USA Today) who on July 15, 1995 wrote an article for the LA Times titled "Steroids Become an Issue: Many Fear Performing Enhancing Drug is Becoming Prevalent and Believe Something Must Be Done."
But pretty much everybody else ignored it, including Bud Selig who said he knew nothing about the problem until Mark McGwire's use of andro was reported in 1998.
Looking back I think McGwire purposely planted andro in his locker to throw suspicion off him as a steroid user. It seemed a little too obvious that McGwire had the bottle so clearly displayed in his locker. He probably never used andro, just thought it would give him plausible deniablity when people started questioning him about steroid use.
I hope the steroid era is now over and a new breed of juice free sluggers like A-Rod, The Magnificent Pooh Holes, Ryan Howard and Adam Dunn will come along and wipe the cheaters out of the books.

There's A New Home Run Champion of All-Time...and It's Barry Bonds

Barry Bonds hit his 756th home run to pass Hank Aaron as baseball's all-time home run king. Now you'd probably expect that a baseball purist like me would be sickened by this development, but I'm really not.

Note: If you don't think Barry Bonds took steroids please stop reading right now. You probably are having trouble reading this anyway, with having to sound out the words. Barry Bonds cheated, there is no way to logically dispute this.

First off, no, Bonds clearly does not deserve to be remembered as the all-time leader in home runs. But in sports and in life, a lot of times people don't get what they deserve, and they don't deserve things they get. It's not worth worrying about.

There's no justice, there's just us. A pithy statement that is true in this case. Bonds can't ruin the historical signifigance of baseball, only we can. Baseball is unique among sports because of its history and the majesty of its records. And its two most precious records have been tainted (officially) but they don't have to be tainted in our hearts, our minds and our memories.

The two players I heard about most growing up were Willie Mays and Sandy Koufax. Neither holds any significant career or season record. That doesn't matter. It's their greatness that inspired stories of them to be told and passed down through the generations.

And it is up to us to pass down the story of Barry Bonds (and Mark McGwire is not blameless in this) and to tell our children that he cheated the game, and that he stole from Hank Aaron (and McGwire from Roger Maris).

And someday Bonds will be proven as a cheat and at that time let's hope baseball has a commissioner with enough stones to wipe his records from the books.

Paulo's Book Club: Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows

I'm going to try to do this like a real book review, I'll discuss some plot points but I won't give away the ending. If you haven't read the book by this point then you are not really a fan and deserve to have the ending ruined. But if you plan to read it and don't want to be checkered by my opinions then don't read past this picture.



First off, the book is 759 pages. It might have been 150 pages or so too long.

The first 300 - 350 pages of the book dragged on. It seemed more like it belonged in the Lord of the Rings series, not Harry Potter. For several months and hundred pages they were camping out along the English countryside on a quest for a powerful object. That sounds just like Frodo and Samwise. And the chapter called "The Battle for Hogwarts" was also atypical of what we've come to expect from the Harry Potter novels.

Also, the tone of this book was decidedly darker. There was no quidditch (and therefore no "Weasley is our King," my favorite part of any of the books), there were not funny names for spells or books or old wizards. All the book was about was the quest for the Horcruxes and the impending attacks from He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

And the search for Horcruxes was very vague because we didn't know what the Horcruxes were which made it very confusing to try to follow along.

But once the book got going and Harry started progressing towards his goals, the book was an absolute page turner. Most of the long-standing mysteries were explained in satisfactory fashion and everything made perfect sense in the end.

And the last chapter provided a very fitting ending to the series of books that I've loved so much for the past 7 or 8 years.

Damn, This Was Going To Be My Babysitting Move

LA TIMES: Parents hoping to raise baby Einsteins by using infant educational videos are actually creating baby Homer Simpsons, according to a new study released today.

For every hour a day that babies 8 to 16 months old watched such popular video series as "Brainy Baby" or "Baby Einstein," they knew six to eight fewer words than other children.

The makers of the videos sell hundreds of millions of dollars worth each year to parents aiming to put their babies on the fast track, even if they are still working on walking.

Unfortunately it's all money down the tubes, according to Dr. Dimitri Christakis, a professor of pediatrics at the University of Washington in Seattle.

Christakis and his colleagues surveyed 1,000 parents in Washington and Minnesota, determining their babies' vocabularies using a standard set of 90 common baby words, including mommy, nose and choo-choo.



The researchers found that 32% of the babies watched the videos, and 17% of those watched more than an hour a day, according to the study in the Journal of Pediatrics.

The videos, which are designed to engage a baby's attention, hop from scene to scene with minimal dialogue and include mesmerizing images, like a lava lamp.

Christakis said children whose parents read to them or told them stories had bigger vocabularies.

"I would rather babies watch 'American Idol' than these videos," Christakis said, explaining that there is at least a chance their parents would watch with them - which does have developmental benefits.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no television for children under 24 months.

So now, when I have to babysit Baby Poop, Mrs. Poop is going to make me find ways to entertain the kid myself. But at least I can use this as a defense to watch Mets games with the kid, at least I'll be talking and explaining stuff.

Also my elder niece Cayla is a genius and she watched a lot of TV before 2 years old, but I don't think she liked Baby Einstein, she prefers "Jack's Big Music Show" and "Annie."

Hungry Hungry Hippo

A four-day old baby hippopotamus hides under its 9-year-old mother Porn at Chiang Mai night safari zoo in Chiang Mai province, northern Thailand

Baseball is Poop

I Know I'll Never Love This Way Again
Why are so many people saying that Tom Glavine will be the last 300 game winner? First of all, this makes a better story. If you say "Tom Glavine won 300 games a feat that will be accomplished again in a few years" that doesn't make for interesting newspaper or talk radio.
But there is some credence to this belief.
1) The current crop of contenders is weak.
Randy Johnson needs 16 wins, and he'd probably have to pitch until 2009, at age 45, to get there.
Andy Pettitte is averaging more than 15 wins a season, but he'd have to keep that up for 7 more years until age 41. Oswalt and Santana may have started a little too late.
2) The game has changed. This is the real reason people are referring to. Pitchers are pitching fewer innings, getting taken out earlier, especially in tie games and close games. Also bullpens are worse, and pitching more, meaning more blown leads.
3) It is hard. To win 300 you need to average 15 wins for 20 seasons. And if you don't start winning consistently at age 21 or 22, you'll have to pitch into your early 40s to do it.

But as we go on pitchers are pitching later in their careers, and maintaining their effectiveness.

I think it will happen, but the next person to do it isn't in the Major Leagues yet.

Best Rookie Ever?
Milwauke Brewers outfielder Ryan Braun is having one of the best rookie seasons ever. He didn't come up until May 25th, missing 47 games (about a third of the season). Since then Braun has been up for 66 games and put up incredible numbers compared to other great rookies:

Braun 266 AB 52 runs 21 HR 54 RBI .346 BA 1.057 OPS
Pujols 590 AB 112 runs 37 HR 130 RBI .329 BA 1.013 OPS
Howard 312 AB 52 runs 22 HR 63 RBI .289 BA .923 OPS
McCovey 192 AB 32 runs 13 HR 38 RBI .353 BA 1.085 OPS

If Braun keeps it up for another 200 at bats and hits 35 homers while maintaining high averages, it could go down as the best rookie season anyone has ever had.

Home Sweet Home
Astros pitcher Wandy Rodriguez has some of the most disparate home/road splits I've ever seen.

Home 11 starts 6-2 record 74 2/3 innings 52 hits 14 earned runs 16 walks 65 Ks 1.69 ERA
Away 11 starts 1-8 record 57 1/3 innings 77 hits 52 earned runs 22 walks 51 Ks 8.16 ERA

The Way the Game is Going
For a brief period of time on Saturday and Sunday (after A-Rod's homer, before Glavine's win) there were exactly 22 members of the 500 Home Run and 300 Win clubs. By the time the next pitcher joins that club, there were be at least 50 guys with 500 homers. I count at least 7 active players who should accomplish that feat (Thome, Manny, Sheff, Andruw, Vladi, Pooh Holes and Adam Dunn).

I'm Not the Only One Who Thinks Mike Piazza Sucks

Mike Piazza was placed on waivers by the Oakland A's and he passed through waivers without being claimed, which means that Oakland can now trade him to any team interested. Minnesota and the Angels briefly considered making deals for Piazza in the weeks and days leading up to the July 31 trade deadline.

We Are Few But We Are Strong

Nike came out with this map to show where each team has their most loyal fan base. The Mets portion is very small, but very densely populated, and includes Staten Island.
I think it's pretty cool and I'm not going to get into quibbling about whether the Rangers really have that big of a fan base into Oklahoma, and why the Diamondbacks don't have all of New Mexico's support.

The Concierge and I Agree, And We're Both Wrong

At TON's wedding we were talking about the song "Layla" which is really about a woman named PattIE. The Concierge and I both though she left Eric Clapton for George Harrison, which is why Clapton wrote the song. But in the truth she was Harrison's wife first. Then she became friendly with Clapton and married him after her divorce from Harrison. Funny that a week after we talked about it, there's an article in the NY Post about it.

Apparently, Clapton also wrote "Wonderful Tonight" about Pattie Boyd. But he divorced her in 1988.

Glavine Gets It

Full coverage of Tom Glavine's 300th win including a post that every Mets fan must see at the Recap.

All Work And No Play Makes Dieter a Dull Boy

German workaholics may be suffering from a lack of sex.
A survey of 32,000 men and women by researchers at the University of Goettingen found over 35 percent of those reporting unsatisfying sex lives tended to use hard work as a diversion.
Some 36 percent of men and 35 percent of women surveyed for the "Apotheken Umschau" newsletter said they were likely to put in extra time at the office and volunteer for extra assignments.
The hard work ethic was even more pronounced among those who reported having no sex -- 45 percent of men and 46 percent of women said they voluntarily took on more responsibilities.
"These findings are worrying," the leader of the study, Ragnar Beer, was quoted as saying.

I hate studies like this but I think the headline is funny.

It's a Vagina, Not a Clown Car

Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar of Tontitown, Arkansas recently welcomed into the world their 17th child.
And the mother said “We'd love to have more.”
The family's home includes dormitory-style bedrooms for the boys (7) and girls (10), nine bathrooms, a commercial kitchen, four washing machines and four dryers.

The children are home-schooled by Michelle Duggar, 40. The oldest is 19 and there are two sets of twins.

“We are just so grateful to God for another gift from him,” said Jim Bob Duggar, 42, a former state representative who sells real estate.

All the kids have names that start with J. They are: Joshua, 19; John David, 17; Janna, 17; Jill, 16; Jessa, 14; Jinger, 13; Joseph, 12; Josiah, 11; Joy-Anna, 9; Jedidiah, 8; Jeremiah, 8; Jason 7; James 6; Justin, 4; Jackson, 3; Johannah, 2 and now Jennifer..

The Duggars have been featured on several programs on cable's Discovery Health Network.

Among the “fun facts” listed on Discovery Health's Web page devoted to the Duggars: A baby has been born in every month except June; the family has gone through about 90,000 diapers, and Michelle Duggar has been pregnant for 126 months – or 10.5 years – of her life.

Maybe He Gave Ving's Wife a Foot Massage

Dogs belonging to Ving Rhames attacked and killed a live-in caretaker at the actor's Los Angeles home.

The caretaker was found dead on the front lawn of Rhames' gated home in an expensive Brentwood neighborhood, covered in dog bites.

Several large dogs were running loose on the property when police responded to the scene shortly and animal control officers took three huge bull mastiffs and an English bulldog into custody.

"It appeared that the person suffered a number of injuries as a result of the dog mauling," Sgt. Lee Sands said. "There were numerous dog bites all over his body."

Sands said four dogs, the largest weighing nearly 200 pounds, were being quarantined as part of an investigation into the attack.

He said it was not yet clear how many of the dogs had taken part in the mauling or why they had turned on the caretaker. The victim, who worked for Rhames for two years and lived on the property, was pronounced dead at the scene.

Representatives for Rhames, who is out of the country shooting a film, had no immediate comment. The 46-year-old actor is known for starring in "Pulp Fiction" and alongside Tom Cruise in all three "Mission: Impossible" movies.

Rhames has a long list of film and television credits. He won a Golden Globe and Emmy nomination for starring as Don King in a 1997 TV movie about the flamboyant boxing promoter.

Chickens Coming Home To Roost

Dogs have been abused by assholes like Michael Vick for long enough. They're fed up and they're fighting back.
King George, a 150 lb. Great Dance knocked a .22-caliber pistol off his owner's end table. The gun went off, hitting his 21-year-old owner in the back,
"I knew he was smart, I didn't think he was that smart," the victim's fiancee, Miesha Lucas said.

Ouch, Babe!

X Games skateboarder Jake Brown crashes, about 50 feet. Listen to the announcers lose their shit when he completes the first trick then all they can say is "oh oh oh oh oh oh" as he's falling.

Baseball is Poop

108 Game Stat Check Edition
Doubles
Magglio Ordonez has only 4 doubles in his last 37 games so Chase Utley and Dan Uggla have passed him. If they maintain this pace one of them could reach 60 doubles for the first time in more than 70 years, but I doubt it.

Triples
Curtis Granderson has also slowed down, with only 2 since July 1st, but his pace would still put him at 24 or 25, and he only needs 22 for the highest total since 1949.

Home Runs
A-Rod is still tops here with 35, a 4 homer cushion on Prince Fielder. Fielder is only on pace for 45, so if A-Rod has a big slump we could be looking at the lowest ML leading total in 15 years. A-Rod led in 2003 with 47. 23 players have 20 homers, putting them on pace to hit 30. 34 players hit 30 last year

RBI
If A-Rod can avoid a slump though and improve his RBI pace he has an outside chance at Manny's 165 (1999) which is the highest postwar total. He should smash his personal best of 142. 33 players have 67 RBI or more, putting them on pace for 100. 38 guys had 100 RBI last year.

Wins
Right now only Carlos Zambrano is on pace to win 20 games, but 7 guys have 13 wins right now which means they'd only need moderate improvement and a little luck to reach 20. But more on them later.

ERA
Of course there is no pace for ERA but it warrants mentioning the Chris Young has a sub-2.00 ERA and he's hurt, which would actually make it easier for him to maintain that low ERA.

And now onto other matters...
Tom Glavine Disease
San Diego Padres start Tim Stauffer was given an 11 run in the top of the first inning in his first start of the year. But Stauffer gave up 7 runs, including 3 homers and didn't stick around long enough to get the win. And he was sent back to the minors after the game.

The Remarkable Season of Chone Figgins
Figgins missed the month of April and through the month of May he sucked, batting .133 (12-90), but he started his hot streak on May 31 and hasn't looked back. Since then he is 93-223 for a batting average of .417.
Breaking it down in his first 90 at bats, he had 12 hits. In the next 92 he had 41, and the next 92 after that he had 35.
Since his hot streak started he's played in 53 games, here's a breakdown
0 hits - 8 times (7 in July)
1 hit - 15 times
2 hits - 18 times
3 hits - 8 times
4 hits - 3 times
6 hits - 1 time
He's had hitting streaks of 14, 13 and 9 games.
Just an all-time great hot streak he's on.

Super Sunday
This Sunday, August 5th, 5 of the 7 13 game winners will be in action. My man Fausto, Josh Beckett, Brad Penny and John Lackey and Dan Haren will face each other. The other two are Tim Wakefiled (maybe he can pitch in relief) and CC Sabathia who can't pitch because he and Fausto are teammates.

Song of The Week

"Stay With You" - John Legend
TON and Special K had their first dance to this song.
This video is just the lyrics, but you can see John Legend perform it live but in poor quality.

TON and Special K's Wedding

TON and Special K are now Mr. and Mrs. TON.
It was a nice, quick ceremony full of the requisite retarded/uncomfortable faces by TON.
A kind old judge led them through the paces they hit all the high notes "sickness and health, for richer for poorer," "with this ring I thee wed," and "you may kiss the pride," so TON did and then they were pronounced Mr. and Mrs. TON.





Then we went inside for some drinks and hors d'oeuvres. The best one was a shrimp wrapped in bacon, but it was a little messy. JLeary had a piece of bacon hanging out of his mouth, I had to go in the corner to eat one, but they were delicious. And the first time they came around four of us got them from the waitress and I was the only one to offer it to my wife. Not sure I would have if she weren't pregnant, but she declined. She knows how much I love food wrapped in bacon.

A little while later it was time for the best man's speech. Now, because I know TON from high school, but we also went to college together, I knew pretty much everyone.

It was nice to see good old BC again, RoachSU made it in for the wedding and Briles (formerly known as the Commish) was the 5th person from our floor freshman year at the wedding. I also got to see VinJuiceTang again. And the best part of that was that in a conversation with Vin earlier in the week I said he was going to be mistaken by everyone as a relative of the bride. Then when I was talking to him, someone came up to him and asked "are you related to the bride?"

And another SU alum, who made the trip in from Denmark was the best man P-O'T. He seemed kind of nervous but he was really funny and encapsulated TON and Kelly pretty well. Basically they like do crazy shit like skydiving, ice climbing and getting eaten by animals in Africa together.




One of the cooler parts of the wedding was when the band took a brief intermission and when they came back it was TON's dad on the keyboard along with his band he's been playing with for 40 years. Between the four band members they have ten kids, 6 of them have gotten married, and they've played a few songs and each wedding. They started off with "Pretty Woman" by Roy Orbison, then went to "Gimme Some Lovin" by the Spencer Davis Group and finished with the all-time crowd pleaser, "Sweet Caroline" by Neil Diamond.



TON even tried dancing, something he does reluctantly, and not very well.



But TON's cousins got the dancing genes in the family. When they band played "Play That Funky Music" two of them started getting down on the dance floor, ending with one of them taking off his shirt. Apparently this is a wedding tradition for him.



The second coolest thing at this wedding was one of those little photobooths where you cram in there and the flash goes off and you get a nice strip of 6 pictures of you and your wife/girlfriend making funny faces at each other.

In this case you took 6 photos cut the strip down the middle put three in album for TON & Special K and kept the other three for yourself. Mrs. Poop and I did this twice, we got some nice photos including one with the Concierge's hand behind me.

Focks, TallSkott and I tried to cram into the booth with varying degrees of success. When you have a head as bag as TallSkott's it takes up a lot of room.

But that paled in comparison to the fact that instead of wedding cake, the served cupcakes. They were so delicious I must have had about four...teen of them man.

At first I planned to have two, then RoachSU and I spotted a couple lonely ones, than TallSkott offered me one that was just sitting on our table, and then the Conciergette yelled at me. But they were freakin delicious.





Here's the crew from left to right: Brother of the Bride, TallSkott, Reissberg, TON (how did the groom get sent to the back of this picture?), The Concierge, JLeary, The Poop, Focks and VinJuiceTang.



And the ladies in our lives: Zorf, The Conciergette aka TallJulie, Mrs. TallSkott, MayMay, Special K (the bride), Mrs. Reissberg, Mrs. Poop, Mrs. Nails and Bauer's Mom aka Short Julie.

Thanks for the Mammaries

New York City Public Hospitals are no longer supplying formula samples in the gift bags given to new mothers who deliver at those hospitals.
Instead, the new mothers will each be given a breast-milk bottle cooler, disposable nursing pads, breastfeeding tips and a baby T-shirt with the slogan “I Eat at Mom’s” on the front.



This has pissed people off who think that breast feeding is not for everyone and this takes promoting breastfeeding too far and makes women who don't or can't (maybe because of flat or inverted nipples) feel badly.

I say that's bullshit. There is legitimate medical evidence to show that breastmilk is superior to formula, even the formula companies admit it. Breastfeeding helps reduce the risks of common childhood infections, asthma, diabetes and other conditions that children who get mother's milk are less likely to develop. Research also shows that that breastfeeding does more to promote brain development than formula.

That always leads to the common refrain "my mother didn't breastfeed me and I'm smart." That may very well be true but it's proven that breast milk is better and I applaud the city's efforts to do everything they can to encourage women to at least try breastfeeding because it's best for the baby, which is what every new mother should be most concerned about.

Too Bad For Us

Scarlett Johansson will not play Jenna Jameson in a movie version of the porn star's book "How to Make Love Like a Porn Star."
Jameson started the rumors by saying Scar.Jo "has such a sexuality without even really trying to be sexy. This girl could play me."
But Scar.Jo's spokesperson says she has no interest in the role. Here's hoping that Elisha Cuthbert does.

Rent a Pet

I think that everyone's life could be enriched by having a pet, but I think that some people are not ready or able to accomodate a pet into their lives.
For those people, there is FlexPetz.

Here's how it works: you sign up as a member, then you pick a dog and you can spend a few hours or a few days with him then give him back and get him a few days later, or get a different dog.

This is a great idea for people like me who want to be exposed to different breeds of dogs. If they ever got a Belgian Mallinois, I'd sign up. It's also good for people who work a lot of hours but like to do stuff with a dog on the weekends.

I think it might be a little hard on the dogs but if they do it the right way and the dogs are well trained, which it seems like they are, then the dogs should be able to adjust to new surroundings and owners.
I worry about people who don't have dogs of their own and whether they will be responsible in feeding and training and taking care of the dog. It can be difficult to do the things a dog needs if you are not used to having one around all the time.

They've already launched in San Diego and are looking for a few other cities including New York this month.

The fees are very expensive though. $150 to sign up, $50 a month and another $100 once a year. And you must sign up for two years, so that's $1550. And it costs $40 a day to have the dog on a Friday, Saturday or Sunday and $25 for weekdays.

That sounds prohibitive but considering what some people pay for dogs, and the costs associated with food and toys and dogs beds (all stuff that they give you when take one of their dogs) it might not be that bad.

But the real thing you'd miss out on with this program is that it's fun to have a dog around all the time, to see him sleeping, to play with whenever you want, to greet you at the door when you come home, rental pets don't do that stuff.





Note: PETA and the Humane Society are against this, pointing out that dogs need structure, and people who want to spend time with dogs but can't provide a proper home for one should volunteer at a local animal shelter.

Even I Don't Have The Answer to This One

Christoper Jones led Arizona police on a slow speed chase during which two news helicopters covering the chase collided in midair killing all four people on board the two choppers.
Should Jones be charged in their deaths?

I have had this argument with jusTON before, and I've always said if a police car chasing you kills someone, it's your fault. But this chopper accident seems pretty removed from this man's actions and definitely an unforeseeable externality.
But I think there is a statute, not sure if they have it in Arizona, called criminally negligent homicide. If your criminal behavior leads to the death of someone, then you are responsible for their death.



A very sad side note to this story. One of the helicopter pilots, Craig Smith, had a dog, a West Highland Terrier named Molly. Molly would fly with Craig on every trip in the chopper. But this time, because they were rushing to cover breaking news, Molly was left behind. And the little pooch is alive today because of it, but without her buddy Craig.

We Have Gang Rape, They Have Line Dancing

Prisoners in the Phillipines doing a choreographed dance routine to "Thriller."
There really isn't anything else to say, just watch:



Apparently this is a mandatory activity for inmates at the Cebu prison. They think it reduces violence among the inmates.

They also do a routine from Sister Act.

Tootsie Roll Pops For Everyone

Everyone is catching on to the hilarity that is Keith Hernandez.

A tribute to Keith's mustache

Keith explaining his methods of scoring:


Note: I have a Mets schedule on my desk and I highlight the wins in orange and the losses in blue. It's how I know things like "The Mets are 12-6 on Friday this year."

What The Fuck Is Wrong With People?

Normally I try to keep this blog fun and light but every once in a while I come across a story that sickens me to the point that I have to share it.

A South Carolina woman has been charged with homicide by child abuse after the bodies of her two young children were found wrapped in trash bags under a sink.
Police believe Sametta Heyward left the children in a hot car while she was at work. Investigators found a note Heyward left at her apartment, explaining that she took the children to work because her plans for a baby sitter fell through.

Because She Let Me

Researchers at the University of Texas spent 5 years compiling the top 237 reasons why people have sex.
And they found out, people like sex, love, not so much.
College-aged men and women agree on their top reasons for having sex — they were attracted to the person, they wanted to experience physical pleasure and "it feels good."
Expressing love and showing affection were in the top 10 for both men and women, but they did take a back seat to the clear No. 1: "I was attracted to the person."

I don't buy that. The real reason is because sex is fun and it feels good. I'm attracted to Meadow Soprano and I would love to have sex with her, but I would not like to have teeth pulled with her, because even though I'm attracted to her, that doesn't feel good.

Blewinsky

Monica Lewinsky recently turned 31. Can you believe it? It seems like only yesterday she was crawling around the White House on her hands and knees, putting everything in her mouth. They grow up so fast, don't they?

Biggest Scam Ever

I have been saying for years that the biggest scam perpetrated on the American public since one-hour martinizing is bottled water.
I don't understand why you would pay for something that you could get for free. And it's much easier to get it from the tap than from a store, and much better for the environment and 100 other reasons to just drink tap water.
Now here's one more: Aquafina is tap water.

Suckaz!

I'm a Douche

I left my bag at Mrs. Poop's parent's house, where we stopped on our way home from Maine.
In that bag was my glasses, so I've been wearing contacts all week.
I also left my cell phone charger which is why I haven't been answering text messages this week. I also use my cell phone as my nap alarm, and since I didn't have it, I overslept and was late to work yesterday.
That bag also had my beard and sideburns trimmer. Without it, I couldn't trim my goatee and I just had to shave the whole damn thing off.
And finally I left "Pistol" which I took out of the library and since it's a new book I can't renew, so I have to return it before I can even read it.

Baseball is Poop

Trade Deadline Edition
Mets trade Drew Butera and Dustin Martin to the Twins for Luis Castillo
This is sort of a nothing deal for the Mets. I really like Ruben Gotay and I don't understand the rush to replace him. I understand Castillo is a much better defensive player but he's probably a downgrade offensively and right now the Mets need hitting. But they gave up two low level prospects and Castillo is not signed long-term so it's not a bad deal.

Red Sox trade Kason Gabbard, David Murphy and Engel Beltre to the Rangers for Eric Gange
This is a tough trade. The Red Sox didn't need Gagne desperately, they've been doing fine with Papelbon and Okajima. But this gives them an incredible bullpen instead of a really good one. And they might finally be able to move Papelbon to the rotation next year. But Gabbard is a top pitching prospect, Murphy is a considered a serious outfield prospect and Beltre is only 17 years old. If it works out this year great, but it's possible in a few years two of those prospects will be good major leaguers.

Giants trade Matt Morris to the Pirates for Rajai Davis
Why are the Pirates trading for high-priced veterans?

Braves trade Jarrod Saltalamacchia and Elvis Andrus to the Rangers for Mark Teixeira
The Braves desperately needed a power hitting first baseman so they had to make this trade. Plus Saltalamacchia is a catcher and they already have Brian McCann. But Elvis Andrus is considered a very good prospect, and he is only 18 years old.

Braves trade Kyle Davies to the Royals for Octavio Dotel
When healthy Dotel can be a really good setup man for the Braves. This is an excellent trade for them. But Kyle Davies kills the Mets.

Yankees trade Scott Proctor to the Dodgers for Wilson Betemit
I don't get this trade. The Yankees are in no position to be trading a middle reliever, certainly not for a guy who plays second, third and short, positions the Yankees have locked up. I guess the Yankees just gave up on Proctor and they feel Betemit can solve their problems at first base.

Padres trade Scott Linebrink to the Brewers for Will Inman, Steve Garrison and Joe Thatcher
I don't know why the Padres would trade Linebrink in the middle of what is a decent season for him, while they are in a heated pennant race. It seems like the three pitchers they got are pretty decent, they all have good minor league stats. I just hope this doesn't interfere with Linebrink's quest to pitch in exactly 73 games for the fourth straight season.

Leukemia is a Bitch

In the course of about one day leukemia killed two kindly old gentlemen.

Former San Francisco 49ers coach Bill Walsh died at age 75 after a long battle with leukemia.

Walsh was an innovator in the NFL bringing about several important changes. First and most obvious is the West Coast Offense. Designed to use the short pass the way most teams traditionally used the running game, the West Coast Offense revolutionized offensive football. Another of his ideas was the increased importance placed on the left tackle to combat a new generation of pass-rushing ends and linebackers. And finally he brought a sense of wisdom and civility to the NFL. He proved that you didn't need to be the biggest, baddest, nastiest team to win; speed and execution could defeat brute force.



Tom Snyder, late night TV host died at age 71, he also suffered with leukemia.

Most of Snyder's best work was before my time but he did briefly host the show after Letterman for a few years before Craig Kilborn took over. He used to share a joke or pithy comment at the end of each show. This one is my favorite: "The human shin; a device used for finding furniture in the dark."

Sickened And Saddened

Many of you have expressed outrage that I have not expressed outrage over the Michael Vick dogfighting allegations. I did comment on it early in the summer before all the details became available.
After I heard some of the details on TV (I felt like I had to cover Diesel's ears so he wouldn't hear the awful things they did) I decided I had to read the indictment to fully understand the charges.
I guess I decided that I didn't want to type the words "doused a dog in water and electrocuted him" or "slammed a dog on the ground until he died" or "hung a dog" or "shot 8 dogs."

But now the man known as Ookie (Vick) is in big trouble because one of his cohorts, Tony Taylor (T) copped a plea deal and gave up Vick as the money man behind the operation.

I hate Michael Vick with all my heart. Other than Leonard Little who killed a woman by driving drunk, then got another DUI several years later, I can't think of an athlete who deserves to be locked up forever more than Michael Vick. I hope he dies tomorrow.



Note: I believe in innocent until proven guilty but only as it relates to the legal system not as it relates to my ability to make up my own mind. There is zero doubt that Vick is involved in dogfighting, funding it and looking the other way at the very least. At the most, as alleged, he himself murdered dogs. If that's the case I hope they sic the police dogs on him.

Baby Poop Pool

Mrs. Poop and I went to see Baby Poop at 34 weeks and the kid is HUGE! 6 pounds! And not due until September 9th. I bring this up because it's time to guess the date and time of delivery and weight, length and gender of the baby.

So here's what you do: click on the banner below it will take you to this website where you can enter your name (doesn't have to be your real name) and then enter your guesses. If you want to register with the site you'll receive an e-mail when the baby is born and we enter the correct information.

Note: There is some information in the first paragraph that might help you extrapolate some of these answers (for instance, don't guess our baby is going to be 6 pounds and 2 ounces).



Note: Anyone who wants to put their money where their mouth is can give me $5 and I'll keep track and send the money to the winner. If the winner on the website doesn't choose to participate in the for-profit portion of this contest the highest point total among those who did will win the money.

The Maine Vacation

We're back from our annual trip to Maine and we had a great time and didn't get too sunburned.

The trip did start off with a scare though. As soon as we arrived at the cottage we took Diesel inside and let him off his leash. A few seconds later I looked for him and saw the garage door was open, he had taken off. The four of us went running in four different directions trying to find him. Mrs. Poop's dad was the first one to get to him. Diesel had run to the beach and was swimming in the ocean with some kids. Never mind that he violated two city ordinances forbidding off leash dogs and dogs on the beach prior to 5pm but as soon as he saw him Diesel came running over as if to say "hey grandpa, let's go swimming, isn't that what we came here to do."

Our first two days there weren't such great weather so we went to this great pizza place in Portland called Ricetta's for the lunch buffet, they make a bunch of pizza with combinations of different toppings (chicken, pepperoni and mushroom, for example) and then you can eat til your full. Or you can have cherry or blueberry pizza for dessert.

On Tuesday we saw the Portland Sea Dogs (Red Sox AA affiliate) beat the New Hampshire FisherCats (Blue Jays), in another annual tradition. I had a Sea Dog Biscuit Ice Cream Treat.

We did get in a couple of good beach days and I was able to read "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows." I won't say anything about it here, I'll wait for the next edition of Paulo's Book Club.




Diesel also got in a couple of good beach days. That dog loves swimming. He will completely duck his head under the water. And when a wave comes, he jumps completely over it. But he just seems so happy doing his doggy paddle. The part he hates is the bath he gets afterward to get the smell of ocean water off him and the sand out of his fur and paws. But I think 10 minutes of swimming exhausts him more than a 45 minute walk.





But of course the best part of Maine is the lobster. One night we bought them pre-cooked in a takeout place ($8/lb. I think), I had 2 of them. Then the next night we went out to dinner and I had the Lazy Man lobster. It's a lobster that they pluck out of the shell for you and serve it in a dish.



And we made a new discovery this year. The lobster roll, which is normally made with mayonnaisse (I hate mayo), can also be purchased "plain" and drizzled with warm butter. And they really stuff them full of lobster meat. So we had that for lunch a couple days. $10 is kind of expensive for a lunch sandwich (outside of Manhattan), but the amount of lobster meat makes it well worth it.

Another year has passed and we have roughly 51 weeks until we visit Old Orchard Beach again.

The Next Celebrity to Get Raped By a Gang of Prison Lesbians

Five days after being booked in connection with a May drunk driving charge, actress Lindsay Lohan was arrested early Tuesday morning on five charges -- including drunk driving and possession of a controlled substance.
Police spokeswoman Calisse Lindsey said police stopped Lohan as she tried to drive out of a parking facility around 1:30 a.m. as she was leaving a party.
The officers smelled alcohol and administered a field sobriety test, which Lohan failed, Lindsey said.
When taken to the police station, she registered .12 and .13 in another test for alcohol levels, the spokeswoman said.
Officers also found a white powdery substance in Lohan's possession which tested positive for opiates.
She was charged with two counts of driving under the influence, possession of a controlled substance, bringing a controlled substance into a jail facility, and driving on a suspended license, according to Lindsey.

The story gets even weirder as some guys claim she stole their car and chased down her assistant in another car.

1987 World Series of Poker

Part I:


Part II:


Part III:


Part IV:


Part V:


The first tournament of the second stage of the WSOP. 1970-1986 were the early years. 1987-2002 were the formative years and since then is the explosion. 152 players entered but the coverage starts with only 6 left. Former Mets announcer Ted Robinson is the host. Of those 6 left, 3 are very well known players today, Dan Harrington, Howard Lederer and Johnnie Chan.
This is also the first televised tournament that really shows the hole cards on almost every hand.
Harrington gets knocked out in 6th place when his A-Q falls to A-6.
There's a lot of talk about Howard Lederer being the young gun in this tournament. He is only 23 and still a student at Columbia. Even he says he's surprised he's doing so well, his first time in the Main Event. The discussion is quite ironic in light of him being on the other side of the same topic now.
Lederer was probably about 300 pounds during this tournament, earning him the nickname "Bubba." To this day Phil Helmuth and Annie Duke still call him "Bub."
I'm not sure if it's the quality of the recording, or the years, but the voices of Lederer and Doyle Brunson sound much different than they do today.
Bub busts out with A-6 vs. 9-9.
At the beginning of the tournament Jack Binion introduced each player to the crowd by name. Imagine how long that would take if they tried to do that now.
Telly Savalas joins Gabe Kaplan as actors in the field. Lederer once explained that hand that knocked Telly out of this tournament. Flop is Jd-10d-blank. Someone goes all in with A-10 and Telly calls with Kd-Qd. The tens held up.
Puggy Pearson just talked about the young computer players. Damn, I wish he would have said internet.
Not only is Johnnie Chan the best player he has luck on his side too. He moves all in after the flop with top pair, top kicker. Bob Ciaffone is getting short stacked and calls with bottom pair. The turn give Ciaffone two pair and the lead, but Chan gets an ace on the river for a higher two pair and we're down to heads up, Chan vs Henderson.
Chan played really tight through the heads up match, folding a lot of hands, but he had such a big chip lead he was just trying to catch one big hand. He called an all-in with A-9 vs. pocket 4s. He caught a 9 on the river to win the tournament.

Supportive Parents

Note this post was written in March but I kept forgetting to post it.

Sunny Lane's Parents Say She's 'the Girl Next Door, Turned Hard Core'

As a girl, Sunny Lane wanted to be a professional ice skater.
Her mother, Shelby, decorated her glittery competition costumes, and her dad, Mike, cheered for his only child from the sidelines.
Years later, they're still at it -- only now they're helping their daughter chase her dreams of becoming a porn star.
"I like to be in front of the camera," Sunny said. "I like to show my talent. I have many, many talents in a lot of different areas, and I want to show them."
But it's more than just showing off the physical assets and the innocent pouts that have earned her the nickname the "Shirley Temple of Porn," because she looks much younger than she is. Sunny will only say that she's in her 20s.
"It would totally mess the fantasy up for my fans," she said about her reluctance to reveal her age. "I look very young, which I'm very grateful [for]."
Sunny Lane is her stage name, and her parents also go by the same last name. For the last year and a half, life in the apartment has revolved around the business of selling Sunny, whom they market as "The Girl Next Door Turned Hard Core."
Once Sunny has worn an outfit, Shelby puts it -- unwashed, of course -- back in a small plastic bags to one day auction off on their Web site. Sunny's underwear can bring in a lot of cash.
"They'll pay $50 to $100 for panties," her mother said.
"We're not kinky parents," Mike said.
Married for 29 years, he and Shelby say that their own secret to staying monogamous was watching porn movies. For them, Sunny's co-stars are her "dates," and they say they'd rather her have sex on a porn set than with a "civilian" who might eventually break her heart.
"She does her thing, safely, in a good environment, and I don't worry about that. When she comes back home, I just ask her how her date was," Mike said.
Mike and Shelby are proud of Sunny's success. Mike said that when he first saw Sunny on the Playboy channel, his reaction was, "Well, dreams do come true, I guess."
"To me, it's all entertainment. I see it all as entertainment," said Shelby.
Mike and Shelby say they fast-forward through the sex scenes in their daughter's movies, despite having made a cameo appearance in one of her early films. If she has a good scene, Mike relies on her fans to let him know whether it was good or bad.
"And if it's good, that means the movie's going to be good, her scene's going to be good, and everybody's going to make a lot of money hopefully," he said.
At the adult video convention in Las Vegas in January, Sunny was there to market herself, and her parents were right there beside her. But Shelby and Mike seem to have taken their support to a whole new level. While at the conference, they looked into getting life-size, anatomically correct sex dolls molded of their daughter.

This is only an excerpt the rest of the article goes into greater detail about the porn industry

Who Are These Guys?

Player A - rookie year: 41 runs 14 HR 45 RBI .300 BA .885 OPS
Player B - rookie year: 41 runs 14 HR 40 RBI .293 BA .857 OPS
Player A - 2006: 83 runs 29 HR 103 RBI .260 BA .742 OPS
Player B - 2006: 96 runs 26 HR 116 RBI .311 BA .912 OPS
Player A - 2007: 45 runs 10 HR 65 RBI .291 BA .759 OPS
Player B - 2007: 59 runs 18 HR 59 RBI .296 BA .890 OPS

2007 stats through 7/21

I Think This Makes Too Much Sense

The Oakland A's should trade Mike Piazza to the Yankees.
It works for the A's because Piazza is making $8.5 million and they would rather use Jack Cust as DH.
It works for the Yankees because Will Nieves is batting .164. The Yankees could use Piazza one game per week as a catcher, once a week as a DH and the rest of the time as a right handed bat off the bench.
The Yankees might balk at taking on the extra salary for a backup catcher. Also teams usually like to have a backup catcher who plays good defense, Piazza doesn't. The reason Nieves is hanging around is because Mussina likes to pitch to him. I doubt he'd be comfortable or get comfortable with Piazza.
I still think it's a deal that would help both teams even if the Yankees don't give up a good player to get him.
Could you imagine Piazza and Clemens on the same team?