Product Review: Shutterfly

We just had our annual Poop family holiday card photo shoot. I can't reveal any details about the card other than that all 5 of us were in it and that between Chase, Julian, Diesel and "Blinky" Mrs. Poop, it's very hard to find a shot where all of us are looking at the camera and smiling.

The other thing I can tell you is that the card is coming from Shutterfly.



We have used the site for our holiday card in the past, because it has good prices, good backgrounds and quality printing paper (not some cheap piece of paper, real photo quality prints).

And it doesn't have to be just for Hanukah or Christmas, check out the Valentine's Day Card Mrs. Poop made a couple years ago.



I can reveal that we will be ordering our card from among shutterfly's Hanukah layouts. There are 57 of them, usually us Jews don't get that many to choose from.

Shutterfly will not only help you with your holiday card, it can provide you with a cheap and easy gift idea, especially for grandparents. We really like shutterfly's photo books. We took a trip for my parents 40th anniversary and made them one to commemorate it. This year we made a great book capturing Julian's birth.

Another great gift idea is a calendar. Once again I am targeting my comments to those of you with children because you can take pictures of your kids from each season (Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, Halloween, etc) and spread them out through the appropriate month. You can also use pictures of people to mark their own birthdays.

So check out shutterfly and you might find something good/easy to buy this holiday season.

Wu-Tang Is the Second Best Musical Group To Come Out of Staten Island

"Tender Love" by the Force MDs is one of the classic R&B songs of the 1980s. Enjoy the video, which looks like it was shot a few doors down on the same block where they used to shoot the fabulous Marla Gibbs comedy "227" (notice the 239 on the door).



While listening to the song on youtube, I noticed several cover versions (none of which stand up to the original) by Alicia Keys, Kelly Rowland and Uncle Sam (with Boyz II Men on background).

So I went to the group's Wikipedia page to see if there are any other notable cover versions I should be aware of. Instead I learned the group was formed in Staten Island, and they used to sing for money on the Staten Island Ferry.

Weekly Picks

MIAMI -2 chicago
The Bears are now the worst 6-3 team in NFL history. I like this matchup with the Dolphins strong defensive line.

PITTSBURGH -7 1/2 oakland
I know I said I liked the Raiders, and I do, but this game just seems too obvious. The Raiders are on fire, the Steelers just got smoked at home. The spread looks huge, but that makes it too easy to pick the Raiders.

NEW YORK JETS -6 1/2 houston
The Texans pass defense is the cure for what ails Mark Sanchez.

atlanta -3 ST. LOUIS
If the Falcons are really the best team in the NFC they need to beat teams like the Rams.

BEST BET
baltimore -11 CAROLINA
Why do I get the feeling I am falling into a trap? I am throwing out my backup quarterback rule because this guy never played. And the Panthers are short on running backs too. I don't expect a letdown from the Ravens because they lost last week, in tough fashion. I think 90% of the people will pick this game.

Last week: 3-2 (2 points)
Season: 25-25 (27 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (6-4)
Home Favorites: 0-0 (7-6)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (1-0)
Road Favorites: 2-1 (8-12)
Road Underdogs: 1-1 (9-7)

Get Er Done

If Denny Hamlin wins the NASCAR Sprint Cup I will win $130. I bet on Hamlin in early May at the Conch's Bachelor Party. Hamlin leads 4-time defending champion Jimmie Johnson by 15 points. His lead would have been bigger but his crew chief cautiously made him stop for gas last week costing him valuable track position. Instead, he can win if he finishes 3 places behind Johnson (assuming they both earn the same amount of bonus points) which would likely mean a tie, Hamlin owns the tiebreaker with more wins.

Either way, I'm proud of my bet, showing once again my NASCAR knowledge.

Mrs. Poop's Awesome Speech at Poppy's Retirement Dinner

And she didn't cry!

The Democrats Need Someone with Proven Leadership in Washington

Representative Heath Shuler says he will challenge Nancy Pelosi for the position of House Minority Leader when Congress goes back in session in the new year. Shuler has no chance of winning because despite her insanity Democrats still love her. Also, Shuler is about as conservative as a Democrat can be (he’s from North Carolina, big on family values and a fiscal conservative) which means he’s mostly unpopular inside his own party. What he’s hoping to accomplish by this is to bring the Democrats back to the center instead of the far left where Obama and Pelosi have taken them.



I’m a major supporter of Shuler’s because I like his politics and because he’s the best quarterback the Redskins have had since Mark Rypien. Unfortunately his career was derailed by injuries. But maybe it was a blessing in disguise because now he was forced to turn to a second career, one in which he can accomplish goals toward a greater good.

Upon Further Review

ESPN completely blew its initial reporting on Donovan McNabb's new contract causing me to overreact.
Turns out the $40m guaranteed figure was completely wrong. The only thing he is guaranteed is $3.75m. They paid him that money for the right to lock him in at $12.5m for next season. But if this year ends in disaster (seems quite possible) and they decide to part ways, they can. If not, they pay him a $10m bonus and another $2.5m in base salary for 2011. After that they can cut him at any time, like any other NFL contract. If not, his salary is about $13m per, not including incentives.
So while the deal is bad, and especially ill-timed it is not the franchise killer I feared when I read ESPN’s initial erroneous reporting.

Song of the Week

"Aston Martin Music" - Rick Ross featuring Drake and Chrisette Michele
I like Rick Ross, love Chrisette Michele and hate Drake. 2 out of ain't bad.
Plus this is the first rap I've ever heard to mention Elroy Jetson.

The NFL is Poop - Week 10

The Most Embarrassing Loss in History
I have never seen a more disgraceful performance in my life than the stinker the Redskins put up against the Eagles. The fact that they ended up scoring 4 touchdowns to make it seem less bad at 59-28 doesn’t wipe away the worst first quarter in the history of the NFL. The Redskins allowed 28 points (and that doesn’t include the touchdown on the first play of the 2nd quarter), and put up 23 yards while making no first downs. The fact that this came at home was bad enough but the timing of it makes it even worse. The Redskins just gave a 5-year, $78m contract to one of the worst starting QBs in the NFL (29th out of 34 qualifiers in passer rating) and then get smoked like this on Monday Night Football. McNabb finished with 17 for 31 for 295 yards and 2 touchdowns including a couple nice long balls. But don’t let that hide the facts. He absolutely sucked while this game was even the least bit competitive. 2 for 6 for six yards and no first downs. Anything he did after doesn’t matter, the game was over at that point. And we are signed up for 5 more years of this shit.

Best Performance Ever
Michael Vick just played the best game any quarterback has ever played. 20 for 28 for 333 yards, doesn’t sound great but when you dig deeper and see how he did early, the perfect passes he threw, with high degrees of difficulty, I’d be hard pressed to remember a finer performance. And he had another 80 yards and 2 touchdowns running. Granted the Redskins defense provided little or no resistance (at least in part due to the fact they were on the field for the entire first quarter) but he was just plain awesome. I’m not sure what they did to him in prison but he has become a much better quarterback. He could always throw, he could always run, but now he is hitting the right receivers at the right time. Even though he missed a few games, at this point it would be almost impossible not to give him the MVP award.



The Most Amazing That Did Not Happen in the Redskins-Eagles Game
An amazing Hail Mary completion by David Garrard to Mike Thomas to give the Jaguars a 31-24 win over the Texans. You almost never see these plays actually work. I don’t blame Glover Quin for batting the ball as he did, that is what you are supposed to do and the Jags just got really lucky to grab the deflection.



If the Super Bowl Were Played Right Now
New England Patriots 31 Atlanta Falcons 17
Note: Because the league is so topsy-turvy this year, I am bringing this back for a little while.
A week ago the Patriots got bamboozled by the Cleveland Browns then they dominated the Pittsburgh Steelers on the road. Who else would you pick from the AFC? The Jets? They just played three bad games in a row and only emerged 2-1 because the Lions and Browns are inferior. The Ravens? They just lost to the Falcons, though in very questionable fashion (uncalled offensive pass interference by Roddy White). The Colts? Yeah they have Peyton Manning but everyone else is hurt. I actually do like the Raiders and the Chargers but I need to see 2 or 3 more wins from each before I’m a believer.
As for the NFC, the Falcons have the best record, the Giants just got embarrassed by the Cowboys, the Bears are the worst 6-3 team ever and though I like the Packers they have a lot of injuries and some poor play too.

This Makes No Fuckin Sense

Many of you who read this blog do so because you want my unique perspective on things. So I assume many of you are wondering what I think of the news that Donovan McNabb has been given a 5 year $78 million dollar extension by the Redskins.
I think Dan Snyder must be fuckin nuts.
And I think Mike Shanahan must not be running the show.
Shanahan rightfully benched McNabb for being terrible, and it's like Snyder felt the need to apologize. I have no idea why this happened now, with no one interested in his services for next year and the possibility of a lockout looming.
Maybe Snyder thinks he can salvage this season by making McNabb happy.
But he can't McNabb isn't good anymore. He's the 25th rated QB in the NFL. You can easily replace that.
Colt McCoy is better than him right now, why wouldn't we dump McNabb and try to get someone else in the draft.
This is why all my teams suck. An ownership unwilling to bite the bullet and suck, instead choosing the path of expensive contracts for old shitty veterans.
In about a year, the Redskins will be wanting to do to McNabb what they wanted to do to Albert Haynesworth in the summer, ie cut him and pay him $40m guaranteed for one year of service.

Weekly Picks

If Jerricho Crotchery throws Santonio Holmes a block in overtime I'm celebrating a 5 point week. Instead I'm licking my wounds and remembering why I hate the Jets. Lots of games I like this week, because there are so many spreads that are essentially pickems.

new york jets -3 CLEVELAND
I think the Jets are better. I recognize the Browns are good but they get lucky too. Maybe the Jets will be the first team to make Colt McCoy look like a rookie.

houston +1 1/2 JACKSONVILLE
The Texans are a better team. The Jags are very up and down and I think this is their time to be down.

philadelphia -3 WASHINGTON
We suck. The Eagles are much better. The last game was a fluke. Even if we hurt Vick again we're not going to win this game.

dallas +13 1/2 NEW YORK GIANTS
Last week Dallas lost by 38 and the Giants lost by 34. Those results are rare in the NFL.

BEST BET
minnesota -1 CHICAGO
The only quarterback who makes Brett Favre look cautious is Jay Cutler. The Bears are a bad team in a 5-3 record and I think the Vikings might be able to get a little something going.


Last week: 3-2 (2 points)
Season: 22-23 (25 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (6-3)
Home Favorites: 00 (7-6)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (1-0)
Road Favorites: 1-2 (6-11)
Road Underdogs: 2-0 (8-6)

Get It While It Lasts

Throughout the history of time there popped up popular services offering unlimited access to copyrighted content (napster comes to mind). Those services are almost always shut down immediately. But for a brief time they provide access to all the content you want, totally free.
Right now we are living in the age of atdhe.net
The site offers access basically every game in the four major professional sports giving you basically free access to NFL's Sunday Ticket, MLB's Extra Inning and NBA's League Pass. Thanks to atdhe.net I have seen every Redskins game this year. Wait, maybe that's not such a good thing. I also get the Red Zone channel, which is awesome.
But perhaps the best feature is the free pay-per-views. I watched UFC 121 live for free. And if you're into that sort of thing tonight's Pacquiao-Margarito fight purports to be available free of charge as well.
Who knows if the site will still be up by tonight, but if it is, we should enjoy it while it lasts.

The NFL is Poop - Week 9

Never to Be Heard From Again
The Dallas Cowboys finally, mercifully pulled the trigger on Wade Phillips. The team was 1-7 and just got embarrassed 45-7 on Sunday Night Football, which is often the most watched program in America each week. Jerry Jones had sworn he wasn’t going to fire Phillips in the middle of the season but he had to. He never should have made such a strong pronouncement in Phillips’s favor, but either way, this had to be done. And there is no way he will never get a head coaching job. He is one of the worst coaches I have ever seen and I have no idea why he was ever hired and rehired in the first place.

There’s Still Some Magic Left
Brett Favre is clearly over the hill. But evidently that hill doesn’t go straight down. Favre recaptured some of his old magic by leading the Vikings on two touchdown drives in the fourth quarter with a couple of great passes to Visanthe Shiancoe. That those two drives came after Favre drove his team to the 2 and got intercepted, then to the 1 and threw a bad pass on 4th down for an incompletion. But the Cardinals last 4 drives including overtime netted minus-8 yards giving Favre plenty of chances to tie the game.

If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
I don’t do this running gimmick every week, but if I did it right now I might have the choose the Raiders and the Giants. The Giants are clearly the class of the NFC. Not only are they rushing the passers as they did in their Super Bowl season they are scoring more than 32 points per game over their 5-game winning streak. And the Raiders over the last 3 games don’t just look like a good team, they look like a Super Bowl contender. With the Jets, Patriots, Colts and Steelers all losing the in the past 2 weeks the Raiders are the only AFC team with a winning streak as long as 3 games. They are outscoring opponents 115-37 (38-12 on average). They’re now second in the league in rushing yards per game which I think could translate well later in the season.

Here They Come Again
Despite playing without Antonio Gates, Malcom Floyd and Legedu Naanee, Philip Rivers used Randy McMichael and Seyi Ajirotutu in a win over the Texans. Rivers has thrown for 2,944 yards in 9 games (327 yards a game), well ahead of Dan Marino’s record setting pace. That Rivers is doing it despite major injuries to his receiving corps is leading many to believe the Chargers have one more comeback in them. It seems every year they have huge preseason expectations, disappoint initially, then rebound to make the playoffs. Right now they are 4-5 with games remaining against the Raiders and Chiefs (direct division competition) and they end the season with San Francisco, Cincinnati and Denver. There other games are next week vs. Denver and the following week the Colts. Even if they fall to 4-7, they could still win their last 5 games and win the division at 9-7.

Obligatory Redskins Bye Week Post
No way we beat the Eagles twice in one season. Not with Michael Vick playing the way he is and Donovan McNabb playing the way he is. It looks like McNabb will be the starter, and hopefully he is ready to prove his doubters wrong. He said the Eagles made a mistake after he beat them the last time. With a win here the Redskins remain in playoff contention and he can prove his own coach wrong this time.

Song of the Week

"You Be Killin Em" - Fabolous
I love Fab, so glad he's back, haven't heard from him in a while.

What Took So Long?

Fastest solve in the history of Wheel of Fortune



Only one letter. Amazing. I love how Pat Sajak is completely dumbfounded when she says she wants to solve. She defends herself by saying it's a prize puzzle, but really, her move was riskier. She would have been better off spinning one more time, choosing a T and confirming her inkling about the puzzle. Pat was even more suprised when she got it right.

But the biggest shock is that this chick went to Penn State, so she's lucky she knows the alphabet.

Weekly Picks

It's funny how these posts are getting far fewer comments this year than last year when I was stinking up the joint.

tampa bay +8 1/2 ATLANTA
In Josh we trust.

arizona +8 MINNESOTA
The Vikings aren't good enough to give this many points to anyone.

pittsburgh -4 1/2 CINCINNATI
The Steelers are really good, they will bounce back.

new england -4 CLEVELAND
The best team in the NFL against a frisky but still below-average team. This is why I pick so many road teams. If this game were in Gillette it'd be 10, I just don't see how home-field can be worth this much.

BEST BET
new york jets -4 DETROIT
Exactly what I am looking for, a good team coming off a bad loss playing a bad team coming of a nice win.

Last week: 3-2 (4 points)
Season: 19-21 (23 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (6-2)
Home Favorites: 2-0 (7-6)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (1-0)
Road Favorites: 0-0 (5-9)
Road Underdogs: 1-2 (6-6)

Bet on the Mets and the Mob Will Be After You

Longtime Mets equipment manager Charlie Samuels was suspended by the team because of his involvement in an FBI investigation into mob-run gambling.
Samuels is accused of making illegal sports bets with mob bookies. He bet on the NFL and on horse-racing, but not baseball. He placed bets from work. He placed bets for other team employees, but not players. He's also suspected of stealing bats, balls and jerseys from the clubhouse. And in his role as associate travel director (aka assistant to the traveling secretary) he may have skimmed money off hotel bookings.

Now, here's what really happened: Samuels kept betting on the Mets to win. As we know the Mets always lose, so he lost a lot of Monday and the bookies threatened to break his knees. And as Dr. Farthing told us: "When you owe a bookie a lot of money, and he blows off one of your toes, you still owe him the money. Doesn't seem fair."

Another life ruined by the horrible Mets.

Guess Who's Coming to Thanksgiving Dinner

Uncle Mick!

The Case the Lawyers Are Talking About

In April 2009, Juliet Breitman, 4, and Jacob Kohn, 5, were racing their bicycles, under the supervision of their mothers, Dana Breitman and Rachel Kohn, on the sidewalk of a building on East 52nd Street. At some point in the race, they struck an 87-year-old woman named Claire Menagh, who was walking in front of the building and, according to the complaint, was “seriously and severely injured,” suffering a hip fracture that required surgery. She died three months later of unrelated causes. Her estate sued the children and their mothers, claiming they had acted negligently during the accident.

That's the story. Here's the ruling: the case can continue, but no ruling has been made yet as to whether the kids are guilty of negligence. Previous cases have set the precedent that a child under 4 is not capable of negligence. Since the girl was nearly 5, the judge allowed it to go forward.

Here's my take: I think children this young are capable of understanding risk. I am 100% sure that if Chase were riding his bike and someone was in the way he would know enough to stop, slow down or try to avoid that person. But then again, if someone walked out in front of him suddenly, or if he were racing and distracted, he might not.

I really don't know what to decide so I am going to punt. Here is my ruling: What is the difference if you sue a 4-year-old? She can't be held liable for monetary damages, can she? Future earnings? You wouldn't seek a criminal penalty, certainly not for this.

So the parents should be held responsible since they were "supervising." They're the ones who should have known that a bike race on a crowded Manhattan street was not a good idea.

The NFL is Poop - Week 8

I Guess the Big Story This Week Involves the Redskins
I didn't blame Mike Shanahan when he embarrassed Albert Haynesworth in the preseason and I don't blame him for embarrassing Donovan McNabb now. The Redskins were winning that game by 5 points with 4 1/2 minutes left and they had the ball. No way can you lose a game in that situation. But Donovan threw a horrible interception. Brining in Rex Grossman was probably hasty, but McNabb has shown no ability to string together a drive in clutch situations. He couldn't do it against Houston or Indianapolis. I feel strongly McNabb will be the starter after the bye against the Eagles. But in half a season I have learned why Eagles fans complained about him for 11 years.

How Bout Them Cowboys
Jerry Jones has to fire Wade Phillips. It's obvious the team has quit on him. Yes, Tony Romo is hurt, but they were bad with him too. And nothing makes me happier.

You Ain't So Bad
All the talk this year so far has been centered around how the 5 best teams in the league are in the AFC. Until the Steelers and Jets got thumped by NFC teams, the Saints and the Packers. I still think the AFC is a much stronger conference, but at least now we think it's competitive.

What a Dick
Randy Moss just got kicked off his second team in a month. Moss just can't keep his mouth shut. People like Moss, and Terrell Owens, think "keeping it real" means saying exactly what you think about everything at the exact moment you think it. Moss criticized Brad Childress's play-calling, said he love Belichick then said of the catering provided by the team "who ordered this crap? I wouldn't feed this to my dog." That did it. He's now looking for a new team, and no doubt he'll find one. I've heard the Rams mentioned, but I think that would be a big mistake to saddle Sam Bradford with that.

Josh Freeman is Good
I really like the Tampa Bay combination of Josh Freeman, LaGarrette Blount and Mike Williams. I think they are the foundation for a good team for many years, in addition to the strong defense they are building. Unlike McNabb, Freeman continues to make plays late in games to give his team the win. Freeman has six fourth-quarter comebacks in 16 career starts. "It's like he almost did that on purpose," coach Raheem Morris said. "He is throwing games to get another fourth-quarter comeback." Blount had one of the best runs I've ever seen to seal the game, combing a spin move and a hurdle to get the Bucs out of bad field position and prevent the Cardinals from getting the ball back.

This Could Be the Start of Something Big
Every year I fall in love with the Chargers. Every year they start slowly. Every year I give up on them. Every year they launch a huge comeback and win almost all the rest of their games. If that's to happen again, the win over the Titans was a good first step. Philip Rivers has been playing great, if the rest of the team (especially the special teams) joins him they will win the division again.

Song of the Week

"All I Want is You" - Miguel f/ J. Cole
The thing I like about this song is very subtle. I like the stilted way he sings, pausing every few words so as not to overwhelm the music.

Tear Down the Playground

An old saw referencing our increasingly reactive culture says that every time a kid falls a playground is closed. I didn't think this was literally true, but I suppose it is.

"Elementary school playgrounds in one West Virginia county are losing their swing sets.

Swings are being removed from Cabell County schools in southern West Virginia in part because of lawsuits over injuries.

Cabell County schools safety manager Tim Stewart said Wednesday that a lot of parents are accusing him of being un-American, but he says the cost of maintaining a safe surface is too expensive.

Stewart says a lawsuit in the past year involved a youngster who broke his arm jumping off a swing like Superman. It was settled for $20,000.

Other equipment such as monkey bars will remain. Stewart says the schools are able to maintain the proper protection underneath them."

It's only a matter of time until the monkey bars go too. And eventually our kids will play in foam rubber rooms where no one ever gets hurt and no one is good or bad. And when that day comes kids in China will kick our kids' asses.

Weekly Picks

Still nailing those best bets at a pretty good rate so I have a respectable score despite a sub-.500 record.

denver +1 1/2 SAN FRANCISCO
Nowhere to go but up for the Broncos.

miami +2 CINCINNATI
The Dolphins are a better team. And they are 3-0 on the road.

tennessee +3 SAN DIEGO
I admit I was wrong about the Chargers. When will the oddsmakers admit the same thing?

INDIANAPOLIS -5 1/2 houston
The Texans aren't going to be the Colts twice this year.

BEST BET
NEW ENGLAND -5 minnesota
Brett Favre is done. I firmly expect to see Tarvaris Jackson in this game.

Last week: 3-2 (4 point)
Season: 16-19 (19 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (5-2)
Home Favorites: 2-1 (5-6)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (1-0)
Road Favorites: 0-0 (5-9)
Road Underdogs: 1-1 (5-4)

Brian Wilson Went to Londonderry High School

And like all Londonderry High School graduates I know, he keeps a guy in a leather mask around the apartment. Wilson calls his "The Machine."

LeBron James Listened to "Garden Party"

The LeBron strikes back. In his new Nike ad "What Should I Do?" LeBron goes wild with the Ricky Nelson mantra "you can't please everyone so you gotta please yourself."

The ad is full of subtext reminding the viewer that he "did this before" meaning going to SVSM to play with his friends. And he takes nasty shots at Michael Jordan (for his awful Hall of Fame speech) and at Charles Barkley (for being a fat, loudmouth who never won anything).

I love it. As someone who mostly defended his decision (though voiced displeasure with the Decision special) I'm glad LeBron is basically saying to the world "I did what I did, I'm happy with it, I don't care what you think."

That's a great attitude to have but now the Heat need to start winning some games.

The NFL is Poop - Week 7

The Dolphins Got Unlucky, Not Screwed
The Miami Dolphins lost to the Steelers 23-22 on a very unlucky break. Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger dove into the end zone but had the ball jarred loose just before he crossed the goal line. Unfortunately the refs called it a touchdown on the field and therefore never presided over an orderly determination of the fumble recovery. So when the replay showed it shouldn't be a touchdown, they needed clear video evidence showing the Dolphins came away with it. The video showed Karlos Dansby recovering it, but I can see why the ref didn't feel comfortable going with that, there was a Steeler with his hand in there. So the ball was placed at the spot of the fumble, the Steelers kicked a field goal and one.

So it was unfortunate circumstances, not a bad call or stupid rules that cost them this one.

But the Dolphins may also want to look in the mirror, their first two drives started on the Steelers 22 and 13, respectively, and they came away with 6 points. And after that disputed play, they got the ball back with plenty of time, and couldn't even make a first down.



Everything Ends Badly, Otherwise It Wouldn't End
Last season Brett Favre led the Vikings to the NFC title game with one of his best seasons ever with 33 TDs and only 7 interceptions. How could he retire coming off a year like that?
So far this season has been a disaster. But for one brief shining momemet, we almost saw what it is that makes Brett Favre special. Taking the frozen (not really) tundra of Lambeau Field for the last time he came within a footstep of leading his Vikings to what would have been an amazing comeback win over the Packers.
Instead we have a guy who threw 3 more interceptions, denied sending pictures of his penis to a hot Jets employee (though it allegedly came from the same phone number as the texts he admitted too) and is injured (elbow and ankle, though he may be faking to take the heat off). I have a strong feeling Favre may finally sit out a game with injury, ending his amazing consecutive games streak, and he may never come back.

What the Fuck Was That?
How did the Oakland Raiders put 59 points up on the Denver Broncos? It wasn't even turnovers, sure the Broncos made three of them, all of which were converted into touchdowns, but how do you explain the other 5 TDs? Just an incredible outlier of a performance, especially coming from the Raiders.

Wade Phillips is the Dumbest Mother Fucker to Ever Coach in the NFL
Wade Phillips is a terrible coach, and when the Dallas Cowboys fire him he will never get another coaching job in the NFL ever again. But there is no excuse for what he did last night. Trailing 38-20, with about 8 minutes left the Cowboys faced at 4th and goal from the six. Probably everyone watching was screaming for Phillips to kick the field goal and extend the game. The reason is: you never know what will happen next. What if the next play is a turnover returned for a touchdown. And that's almost what happened. The Giants turned it over on their next two possessions, one led to a touchdown. I know circumstances change and the events that follow change, but its reasonable to assume that had Phillips kicked there the Cowboys would have gotten at least one possession late in the fourth quarter trailing by only one score.

You Can't Beat the Champs Without a Little Luck
The Cleveland Browns couldn't have pulled off a huge upset over the Saints without a little luck. Drew Brees threw two interceptions for touchdowns, yes, but you also make your own luck. And that's what they did on the coolest play of the season, a 68-yard run on a fake punt by Reggie Hodges. I have never seen a bigger running lane in all my life.



NFL Stands for Not For Long
Last year Drew Brees was king of the world, this year he stinks. He's the 10th rated QB in the NFL and he's already thrown 10 picks, one fewer than in all of last year. Not sure what's wrong with him and the Saints but they are not the same team on offense they were last year.

A Win is a Win, I Guess
The Redskins beat the Bears 17-14 in what was one of the worst games ever played. Of the first 8 possessions in the second half, 7 of them ended in turnovers. The Redskins have played better in at least 2 of their losses this year than they did in this one. But the Bears were intent on giving it away. Billie has now convinced me that Jay Cutler is terrible and he will never be a good NFL quarterback.

Song of the Week

"I Hope She Cheats on You" - Marsha Ambrosius
"I hope she cheats on you with a basketball player
I hope she Kim Kardashianed her way up."
If you don't recognize the name, Marsha was one half of the awesome neo-soul duo, Floetry.

What Are Chase and Julian Going to Be For Halloween?

Enjoy It While It Lasts

Since Friday night I have been on an incredible run of good luck.
The Yankees lost.
The Phillies lost.
Syracuse won (best win for the program in at least 5 years).
The Redskins won.
Cain Velazquez won (and I got to see the whole thing for free, and live).

It's a great time for me sportswise.
Not to mention today is the 24th anniversary of the greatest day of my life.
The day my three favorite words in the English language were first uttered together:

GETS BY BUCKNER!!!!!!!!

I'm Calling Bullshit on This

As cool as this would be I just can't fathom the story of Barbara Soper. She says her 3 kids were born on August 8, 2008, September 9, 2009 and October 10, 2010.
That's right, 8-8-08, 9-9-09 and 10-10-10.
The story is in the Indianapolis Star but I don't know if they actually checked the birth certificates.



Their doctor had to give drugs to start labor for the couple’s first daughter, Chloe Corrin Soper, who was born full term on Aug. 8.

Ok, I buy that.

Their son was a surprise all around. “He wasn’t a planned baby at all, he was a miracle,” says Barbara Soper. He was due on Sept. 20, 2009, but because sister Chloe’s birth had caused some hemorrhaging, their doctor, suggested he come out a little early so he’d be smaller.
Soper was started on drugs to induce labor on Sept. 8, but it took 24 hours before Cameron Dane Soper made his way into the world, arriving on 9-9-09.

That sounds a little fishy, but possible.


Soper says she and her husband had thought it would be “neat” if their third child was born on 10-10-10 but because her due date wasn’t until Nov. 4, it seemed unlikely.

But it ended up being “kind of a mandatory eviction,” says Soper. She developed blood clots in her legs and three weeks before her due date doctors told her the baby needed to be delivered.

The induction was begun on 10-9-10, but it wasn’t until 6:53 on Sunday night, 10-10-10, that Cearra Nicole Soper arrived.

That's the part that seems like bullshit. First of all, why would they want to have kids only 13 months apart. Especially after having gone through it once, they would have been more careful. And why did it take 5 hours for the induction. They paid the doctor to hold off until after midnight.

While the dates might seem “incredibly rare,” they’re really not. Such a lineup can only happen in the first 12 years of the century and at least 10 months apart, says Shannon McWeeney, a professor of biostatistics at the Oregon Health Sciences
University in Portland.
“Given that the first birth occurred in that window, the probability is not as astronomical as you might be compelled to think,” she says.
In fact, it’s not that high a number at all, says Philip Stark, a professor of statistics at the University of California, Berkeley. “The ‘chance’ you get depends on the assumptions you make,” he says. One set of assumptions gives a chance of about 1 in 50 million. More realistic assumptions — including allowing at least 11 months between births — increases it to about 1 in 2,500.
Since thousands of women in the United States had kids in 2008, 2009 and 2010, this suddenly seems a little less extraordinary. But humans “like to look for patterns, to make sense of things” he says.

I don't buy that math. I don't think this can happen unless you actively try for it.

Weekly Picks

I'm pissed at myself because the Saints were my best bet but for some dumb reason I changed my mind and went with the Falcons.

ATLANTA -3 1/2 cincinnati
I think the birds will bounce back.

jacksonville +9 KANSAS CITY
Jacksonville has been a very inconsistent team so I expect them to follow up a Monday night stinker. Plus 9 points is a lot to give up for a team with an offense as questionable as Kansas City's.

TAMPA BAY -3 st. louis
I think the Bucs are actually a decent team they just got smoked by two better teams, the Steelers and the Saints. They can beat weaker teams like the Rams on the road.

new england +2 1/2 SAN DIEGO
I am officially giving up on the Chargers especially with all their injuries.

BEST BET
GREEN BAY -2 1/2 minnesota
Counting on Brett Favre to do something stupid.

Last week: 2-3 (1 point)
Season: 13-17 (15 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (4-2)
Home Favorites: 1-0 (3-5)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (1-0)
Road Favorites: 1-2 (5-9)
Road Underdogs: 0-1 (4-3)

Who Wore It Best?

When I saw Minka Kelly's sexy photo shoot in Esquire (she was named their sexiest woman in the world, deservedly) I knew the outfit looked familiar. Jamie Lynn-Sigler rocked a similar get-up in Maxim.

So who wore the white blouse, black bra better?








Btw, Minka revealed in that interview with Esquire, her mom was a stripper. Too bad she didn't follow in those footsteps.

Because JLeary is My Favorite Poophead I Answer His Comments in a Separate Post

jleary said...
Duda in the outfield over Pagan?

Yes Pagan had a great season (for him) but his OPS was only .765, 34th among all major league outfielders.

When you consider other factors his WAR was excellent, 13th among outfielders.

But that's because he stole 37 bases in 46 attempts and played great defense. But as opposed to traditional hitting stats those numbers often swing wildly from year to year.

Another thing he did really well this year, hit runners with in scoring position (.901 OPS) also tends to fluctuate from year to year.

Also, he is 29 years old and I believe last season was at or near the peak performance of which he is capable.

And my entire philosophy for the Mets right now is not to let older players stand in the way of the development of younger players.

Maybe Pagan can be traded for a decent prospect, or he can hang around as a 4th outfielder and play everyday when Beltran gets hurt or if Beltran is traded.

jleary said...
I don't see that much potential in Duda. the Mets have 2 better outfield [sic] prospects I would rather see playing in the majors F-Mart and Kirk Nieuwenhuis [sic]

You are wrong about this. Neither of those guys is as good as Duda, based on results on the field. Yes, Martinez has more hype but juding by what happens on the field, Duda is the best.

Check out the OPS for all 3 over the past 3 years, 2008 - 2010 (levels in parenthesis):

Nieuwenhuis: .744 (Brooklyn), .843 (St. Lucie, Binghamton), .801 (Binghamton, Buffalo)
Martinez: .772 (Binghamton), .877 (Buffalo), .772 (Buffalo)
Duda: .755 (St. Lucie), .808 (Binghamton), .967 (Binghamton, Buffalo)

Note: Martinez has a career .505 OPS in 109 at bats with the Mets, Duda is .678 in 84 ABs.

Judging by the stats, Duda is clearly the best performer of the three. And though you often say past performance is no guarantee of future results, I often say past performance is the best indicator of future results.



jleary said...
Let's not forget about Schilling.
I did not forget about Schilling but considering his ERA is twice as high as Lee's I couldn't in good faith put him up there as the very best. Yes his resume is very impressive, but I chose Koufax because of his best ever post-season ERA (0.95) and Gibson because of his 8 CGs in 9 postseason starts. And because the number of starts for those three is very similar. That's not to say if Lee starts 11 more times in the playoffs he might end up with an ERA higher than Schilling's. It could happen, but as of now, I'd take Lee over anyone.



Note: For Damino, while El Duque had a fantastic start to his postseason career, his overall numbers (9-3, 2.55 ERA) are not even close to Lee's.

I Am a Fat Pig

Here's what I ate at the Big E this year
Start off with the turkey leg



Wash it down with a slushie



Fried Oreos (my favorite, tied with the turkey leg)




New England Clam Chowder, in what used to be a bread bowl



Tried the fried jelly beans



It was really only 2 maybe 3 jelly beans and a lot of dough. Sort of like a jelly donut, a little sweetness in a donut.



I also tried the fried butter which wasn't really good at all. It was just really greasy dough.

And of course we have to teach the youth.

Song of the Week

"Tuesdays and Thursdays" - Hot Boyz
A throwback from the glory days of Cash Money Records.

A Mike Scott Situation

In the 1986 NLCS the Mets won games 2, 3 and 5 by beating Nolan Ryan and Bob Knepper. They lost Games 1 and 4 against Mike Scott. So in Game 6 when the Mets were losing 3-0, their thoughts must have turned to this: if we lose hear, we have to face Mike Scott in Game 6. Perhaps motivated by that fear the Mets scored 3 in the 9th to tie and eventually won in the 16th, making Mike Scott a helpless bystander as the Mets moved on to the World Series.

The Yankees now face a similar quandary for 3 straight games. If the Yankees lose even one more game they guarantee themselves a date with Cliff Lee in Game 7.



Through 8 postseason starts Lee is building the best postseason resume of any starting pitcher ever (the Lee-Rivera debate is unsolvable).

Cliff Lee: 8 GS 3 CG 7 W 0 L 1.26 ERA 67 Ks 64 1/3 innings
Sandy Koufax: 8 GS 4 CG 2 SHO 4 W 3 L 0.95 ERA 61 Ks 57 innings
Bob Gibson: 9 GS 8 CG 2 SHO 7 W 2 L 1.89 ERA 92 Ks 81 innings

A couple of caveats. All of Gibson and Koufax's starts were World Series games. But Lee is playing in an era much more weighted towards the hitter. So I think that even things out pretty well.

Lee can pad his postseason resume in a Game 7 against the Yankees, but I know the Yankees are hoping they can win before it comes to that.

The NFL is Poop - Week 6

An Ounce of Prevention is Worth a Pound of Cure
The NFL is moving immediately -- this weekend -- to suspend players who deliver "devastating hits" and "head shots" like the one put on DeSean Jackson by Dunta Robinson. That shot not only knocked out the guy receiving it, but also the guy giving it. Both got concussions and Jackson isn't expected to play this weekend.



For the years the NFL has taken steps to protect its players but has constantly faced dissent in the form of "it's football, why not put a skirt on." That is a completely wrong-headed and in this case dangerous argument. And it's especially ironic because it often comes from those old-school players who are blasting the union and the league for not taking better care of them when they become vegetables because of the repeated trauma from hits like the ones the NFL is now increasing punishment for. Don't they realize they may not need as much treatment and assistance for brain injuries if they don't get them in the first place?

If the NFL does not take steps like this to protect players from head injury, in the next 10 to 20 years youth participation will plummet and eventually trickle down into an inferior quality of play in the NFL as sensible parents will steer their kids away from football into other sports that won't prematurely age their brains. This health concern is the greatest threat to the NFL's mammoth popularity. And it's high time they stood up to the fossils who are standing in the way of player safety.

Maybe Neither is Making the Playoffs
There was a lot of talk before the Vikings-Cowboys game that it was an elimination game. The loser would not make the playoffs. Well, I think it is now pretty clear that neither is making the playoffs. Both teams were good last year, but as you know, we don't go by last year's stats. The Cowboys are awful (and stupid) and this year's Brett Favre is a lot worse than last year's and even Randy Moss can save a 42-year-old quarterback from experiencing the decline that was inevitable.

A Good Problem to Have
Andy Reid has had to bench his starting quarterback for the hot hand, and now he may have to do it again. While lying through his teeth Reid told us Kevin Kolb would be the starter when he got healthy. He eventually went with Michael Vick. Now he is again saying Vick is his guy, even though Kolb ripped up the Falcons for 326 yards and 3 touchdowns. I think Reid should stick with Vick -- he was that good when healthy -- but Vick's style of play is likely going to get him hurt again, which means they'll need to call on Kolb again.

Garcon, Coffee
Even though it came against my beloved Redskins this one-handed catch by the Colts' Pierre Garcon was too good not to recognize.



Happier About a Loss Than About Two Wins
I actually feel better about the Redskins coming off that loss to the Colts than I did after the wins over Philadelphia and Green Bay. The offense played a lot better, and Ryan Torain looks as if he has strong potential to be a feature back in this league. The defense sucked, but we knew it did. And this time the opposing offense was much better. And they forced three turnovers, something the Redskins have been horrible at doing. But they blew some chances to win this game and I was very disappointed that they couldn't even make a first down when they got the ball back with 2 minutes plus left in the game. But heading into matchups with the Bears and Lions I feel somewhat confident.

At Least We Have Like Minded Individuals in City Government

Whenever I get an anonymous comment on The Poop I often use sitemeter to try to track down the poster. Most of my regular Poopheads I can identify by location, or ISP. But I can't figure out who posted "i love boobies" on the Heidi Montag post.

Oh Stewardess! I Speak Jive

Barbara Billingsley passed away at the age of 94. Best known for this famous scene in Airplane! she also played June Cleaver on a little known TV show called "Leave it to Beaver"

Weekly Picks

Another solid week with a 4. Hitting 80% of best bets but only 35% of other picks.

san diego -8 1/2 ST. LOUIS
I'm not giving up on the Chargers yet. Two of their losses (Raiders and Chiefs) were kind of fluky in that big plays against them came on special teams. Their offense is still great, defense is bad, but this spread seems to big, so I like it.

new orleans -4 TAMPA BAY
Desperate team versus overachieving team.

indianapolis -3 WASHINGTON
Bill Simmons says never bet against Peyton Manning in a night game. I think that actually holds true.

PITTSBURGH -13 1/2 cleveland
The spread should actually be around 17 if Ben Roethlisberger's performance weren't such a question mark. This flies in the face of backup QB theory, but I'll make an exception for Colt McCoy/Josh Cribbs against the best defense in the league.

BEST BET
atlanta +3 PHILADELPHIA
There is nothing in my backup QB theory about what happens the second week. I think the Falcons are pretty good and I think Kolb is going to make this decision very easy for Reid.

Last week: 3-2 (4 points)
Season: 11-14 (14 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (4-1)
Home Favorites: 1-1 (2-5)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (1-0)
Road Favorites: 1-1 (4-7)
Road Underdogs: 1-0 (4-2)

I Wish We Could Fire Jeff Wilpon

The Mets fired Jerry Manuel. That's good. The Mets fired Omar Minaya. That will help. But perhaps the biggest problem with this team is a problem we may never be able to excise, Jeff Wilpon.



I have said over the past four years while overreacting fans begged the Mets to spend more money that their spending was fine, perhaps too much. The Mets have consistently been in the top 5 in payroll. But they have not been in the top 5 or top 10, or top 20 the past two seasons in results. That means the amount of money being spent isn't the problem. The problem is how it's being spent.
I normally blamed Omar Minaya for the misspending but it is not clear Jeff Wilpon deserves a sizable share of the blame as well.
A scathing New York Post column by Joel Sherman delved into the problems with Wilpon.


Let’s give Jeff Wilpon the benefit of the doubt here for a moment.

Let’s say he is not short-tempered. Tone deaf. A credit seeker. An accountability deflector. A micro-manager. A second-guesser. A less-than-deep thinker. And bad at self-awareness.

Fine, he’s none of these things. But here is the problem: This is his perception in the industry as the Mets try yet again to fix their baseball operations department.

That's a poorly worded way of saying he is all those things, without actually saying it. It goes on:

"A baseball executive in regular contact with the Mets: 'Jeff is the problem with the organization, and he is never going to realize that. He cannot help himself. He has to be involved. He will never hire anyone who will not let him have major input. He will not hire anyone who does not run every personnel decision through him.'"

Jeff is the problem with the Mets. But we can't get rid of him because he happened to be born to the owner of the team. And Mets fans suffer as a result.

For years I have railed against the Mets making reactionary free agent signings that never seem to work (starting with Pedro Martinez) just to get the papers and the talk radio hosts (Mike and the Mad Dog spent years ruining the Mets) to say nice things about them. It seems that was all coming from Jeff Wilpon. He's the one who couldn't stand to listen to Fat Francesa say the Mets needed to do something to win back their fans.

We enter another offseason at a crossroads. We have no manager, no top baseball executive and two sub-.500 seasons in a row. Will the Mets attempt to make a big splash by signing Cliff Lee? I hope not. But the even less desirable alternative is the one most likely to happen, the Mets miss on Lee, the papers and talk radio hosts go nuts, Wilpon orders an overreaction and the Mets spend $75 million on an average pitcher.

What the Mets need to do is go into the season with an infield of Davis, Reyes, Wright and a new second baseman (Future Hall of Famer Dan Uggla?), and outfield of Bay, Beltran and Duda and a rotation of Santana, Pelfrey, Dickey, Niese and Mejia. They need to trade Beltran in July and consider dumping Santana as well. The Mets need to rebuild, not add one mediocre overpaid piece.

But that will never happen because an insecure, spoiled little rich boy would rather spend daddy's money.

Hope For the Future

I have long complained about the Mets barren farm system and its inability to produce a single solid offensive prospect since David Wright and Jose Reyes hit the scene 6 years ago. I like Ike Davis but feel his maximum potential would make him no better than an average first baseman, which is fine. Josh Thole also has potential to be an above-average catcher, especially if he can start to hit with a little more power.

But I am most hopeful about Lucas Duda. Duda had modest stats in his first three minor league seasons but he followed a natural progression from Brooklyn (low A) to St. Lucie (high A) to Binghamton (AA). It wasn’t until he went to triple A Buffalo that he really broke out. He hit 17 homers in 298 plate appearances, with an OPS of .999.



That earned him a promotion to the big club. I speculated that even with an expected drop-off in performance because of the tougher competition, if Duda could have an .825 OPS, he could be a very effective outfielder for the Mets for a very long time.

Note: only 22 outfielders in the majors, fewer than one per team had an OPS above .800 in 2010.

Things started off very badly for Duda. In his first 33 at bats he had only 1 hit (a double) and 4 walks, for an OPS of .196.

But check out what Duda did in his next 51 at bats: 16 hits 5 doubles 4 homers 13 RBI and 2 walks. That works out to .314/.340/.647. That’s an OPS of .987, against major league pitching. Yes it’s only 51 at bats, at the end of the season, all low leverage situations, but it’s something.

Especially when compared to Beltran (.768), Pagan (.765) and Bay (.749). And considering the team OPS was only .697, anything above .800 would be great, would have been good enough for second on the team behind Wright this season.

So if there’s any hope for the future it’s that Wright and Reyes will stay healthy and perform, Bay and Beltran will get healthy and perform, and the young guys like Davis, Thole and Duda will continue to grow. That would be a pretty good top 7, with a lot of ifs, but finally, a little bit of hope.

Song of the Week

"Da Rockwilder" - Redman and Method Man
About the only good thing Antonio Rogierio did in his fight against Ryan "Darth" Bader was walk out to this song.

Burning Down the House

Here's the story that's igniting a fierce debate around the nation right now.
Firefighters in Tennessee stood by while the home of Gene Cranick burned to the ground, killing his 3 dogs and 1 cat.
The firefighters from South Fulton responded to the fire but didn't put it out because Cranick hadn't paid his fire fee. He lives outside the city of South Fulton and therefore doesn't pay taxes to support the firefighters. Instead, those residents were told, for an annual fee of $75, the South Fulton Fire Department would respond if the need ever arose.
His neighbor paid the fee, so when the fire spread to his home, firefighters quickly extinguished it.
At first Cranick said he simply forgot to pay the fee, but now it comes out that they sent him a letter and called him.
It's clear Cranick felt that he would never need firemen so he didn't pay the fee. And he clearly thought if there ever was a fire, they'd put it out anyway.

And there's where the debate comes in. Democrats are calling this extreme capitalism where life-saving and property-saving services are only provided to those who can and will pay.
Most people say humanity should have prevailed (and it would have if a person had been trapped) and they should have put of the fire and maybe charged him an exorbitant fee afterwards.

I say it's all Cranick's fault. I bring up personal responsibility again. Cranick was given a choice, pay for a service, or don't get the service. He chose to gamble, he lost. He needs to live with the consequences. If the SFFD bailed out Cranick it would send a message that no one ever need pay the fire fee. An optional fee wouldn't work and the Fire Department would incur huge losses and not be able to help the people who actually pay to support it.

The NFL is Poop - Week 5

It was the Best of Favre, It Was the Worst of Favre
This was the week when you really found out why Brett Favre is such a compelling figure. Like him or hate him (most everyone hates at this point) you just had to watch. Yes, he cheated on his wife, and tried to bang Jenn Sterger and is pretty much the same piece of shit scumbag we expect every athlete to be. But, you still wanted to see how he would perform.
In a rain-soaked first half the Vikings had about 50 yards of offense while punting 5 times and fumbling once. The trailed 12-0 when Favre turned it on. Then on three out of 4 possessions he hit Randy Moss for a 37-yard touchdown, then Harvin for 34 and 11-yard touchdowns, bringing the Vikings to within 22-20.
And just when you thought Favre was going to do it again, another amazing performance, on a Monday Night no less, he throws another interception, it's returned for a touchdown and good night Vikings.



Who Needs Quarterbacks Anyway?
No bigger mistake is made by gamblers than picking against NFL teams who lose their quarterbacks. This week three teams were starting backups, different starters than last week, all three were underdogs and all 3 won. Max Hall for the Cardinals was the biggest story since he was an undrafted free agent in April, and in October he's beating the Super Bowl champs. Kevin Kolb played well enough to beat the 49ers, but probably not well enough to keep his old job when Michael Vick comes back.
And then there's Todd Collins. Perhaps an asterisk is needed here. He was 6 for 16 with 32 yards and 4 interceptions. And he was the winning QB. Thankfully for him Matt Forte ran for two touchdowns and Carolina's Jimmy Clausen was almost as bad.

SUH-per Play
An amazing tip and interception (and underwhelming dance) by the next great defensive player in the NFL, Ndamukong Suh.



I'd Rather Be Lucky Than Good
The Redskins got back the win they blew in week 2 against the Texans. The Packers butchered this one almost as bad, and the Skins took a 16-13 overtime win. The Redskins did almost nothing until Donovan McNabb hit his new favorite deep threat, Anthony Armstrong for a 48-yard touchdown. Then it seemed neither team wanted to win as the kickers missed three field goals in the fourth quarter and overtime before Graham Gano finally nailed one after Laron Landry's interception set the Redskins up in great field position. Another mediocre/bad performance by Donovan McNabb except this time instead of getting out early and blowing the lead, McNabb made plays to lead his team back.

Ok, Maybe This is a Rule That Needs to be Changed
Normally I am of the attitude that if a rule is on the books, you have to abide by it. And in most cases those rules are on the books for a good reason, and shouldn't be changed. But the one that hurt the Dallas Cowboys in their loss to the Titans maybe is a little too strict. The rule forbids touchdown celebrations from ending with a player on the ground. So when Jason Witten scored to tie the game at 27, he gave the ball to Mark Columbo to spike. Then they did a flying chest bump, which ended with Columbo on the ground, and the refs penalizing the Cowboys 15 yards. The ensuing kickoff was fielded at the 16 (maybe would have come up just short of end zone) and take all the way to the Dallas 5, setting up Chris Johnson for the easy game-winning score.




Pictures of the Week
It sure was raining hard during that Vikings-Jets game.

Baseball is Poop - Postseason Awards

Here are my picks for baseball's major awards:

NL MVP: Joey Votto
I can't believe I am saying this but it seems like when you have a guy as good as the Magnificent Pooh Holes you could make a reasonable case for him every year. So when someone new is almost as good, that player gets the nod. This happened several years with Michael Jordan. But in this case Votto and Pooh Holes are so similar (Votto by .014 in OPS, Pooh Holes by 3.7 in VORP, Votto by .3 in WAR) it's basically a toss-up. So I will go with Votto because his team is better. I know that's an old school writers' way of deciding MVP but in this case I think Votto did provide more value to his team in intangible ways as well. Carlos Gonzalez had a great season and is an obvious third choice but doesn't really warrant being in this discussion.



AL MVP: Josh Hamilton
Another close two person race. I really wanted give this to Jose Bautista, but clubbing a lot of home runs is not enough. If you are only judging by old school stats, you'd see Cabrera with 6 more homers and 26 more RBI than Hamilton. And even an extra 46 walks. But Hamilton still has the better OPS (1.044, best in the majors this year) because of 30 fewer ABs. Hamilton has the superior VORP, and the better WAR by a lot. Hamilton's 8.0 is best in the majors, while Cabrera's 6.2, is not even in the top 10. And when you go back to wins and losses, and the intangibles, I think you'd have to go with Hamilton once again for making his contributions to a winning team.

NL Cy Young: Roy Halladay
I think it would be hard to dispute this one. At one point we thought it would be Ubaldo Jimenez, but he fell so hard his ERA is worse than R.A. Dickey's. Josh Johnson has a better ERA than Halladay, but he did it in 70 fewer innings, which certainly means a lot. And the fact Halladay has 10 more wins is not merely the product of playing on a much better offensive team. Adam Wainwright also had a spectacular year but he doesn't have one thing as good as Halladay's. It's almost like John Tudor in 1985. He had one of the best seasons of the past 30 years, but he finished second in pretty much every category to Gooden.

AL Cy Young: Felix Hernandez
This is the one you can argue about. And I know he is not going to win it with only 13 wins, but he's like Good Will Hunting. It's not your fault, Felix, it's not your fault. Here's his key stats: 2.27 ERA, 3.04 FIP, 6 CGs, 249 2/3 innings, 232 Ks and a 6.2 WAR. Those are amazing stats but one thing jumps out at me, his FIP is much higher than his ERA. That normally happens with low ERAs, but it brings me to something. If Felix is given a pass for his low win total because his team never scored any runs for him, then should we look at his ERA differently because his team made a concerted effort to focus on run prevention? If it doesn't go to Felix (which it won't) you could give it to David Price (probably will). Price was 19-6, exactly 6 games better than F-Her, his WAR is similar, 6.0, but his ERA (2.72) and FIP (3.42) are significantly worse. So if you give it to price the only stat it's based on is more wins, a stat that everyone knows is the worst judge of a pitcher's performance. The other option is Clay Buchholz whose ERA (2.33) is close to Felix's but check out his FIP (3.61), meaning he also benefitted from a team focused on run prevention. Buchholz went 17-7, but he had six fewer starts and 76 fewer innings than Felix. Any voter not picking Felix first is doing so based on wins and wins alone, and showing himself unworthy of the vote.


NL Rookie of the Year: Jaime Garcia
One of the best rooke crops in years. Jason Heyward (.849 OPS, 18 HRs, 72 RBI), Ike Davis (.791, 19, 71) and Gabby Sanchez (.788, 19, 85) all could have won the award in other years with a weaker class. I'm even impressed with Atlanta relief pitcher Jonny Venters who had a 1.95 ERA in 83 innings. But Jaime Garcia finished 4th in the NL with a 2.70 ERA and his 13-8 record making his pitching performance more remarkable than any of the above mentioned hitters.



AL Rookie of the Year: Austin Jackson
The pickings are slimmer in the American League so I am going with Jackson over his teammate Brennan Boesch and Rays pitcher Wade Davis. His .745 OPS doesn't impress me (10 3Bs but only 4 homers) but his 27 steals in only 33 attempts certainly adds to his resume. Jackson's 3.6 WAR is also much better than Boesch and Davis, showing his contributions in other areas.



Manager of the Decade: Buck Showalter
The Orioles were 34-23 with Showalter as the manager and 32-73 with other guys. Enough said.

The Funniest Moment of Chase's Life

Chase was given, by Step on Me, cars from "Cars" that change color when really cold, and change back when really hot. And they don't change at room temperature so if you put McQueen, Doc Hudson and Ramone in the freezer, they stay that color until they get hit with hot water.
Mrs. Poop was lent, by her friend, a baby scale to track Julian's weight, especially important during the first few weeks when he was not gaining enough.
Mem was visiting, and she loves to take pictures.
Ok, now the stage is set for the funniest moment of Chase's life.
Mrs. Poop weighed Julian, then fed him, then weighed him again to show her parents the difference, you can literally see that he ate 2 or 3 ounces.
While Julian was naked on the scale, Mem thought it a great opportunity for a picture.
Julian thought it a great opportunity to urinate all over.



Now that's pretty funny. Funnier still, Chase's color change cars were in the line of fire, and when doused with Julian's hot pee they changed color.
Now I wasn't there for this, but I am told Chase laughed long and hard about this. When I got home, and during subsequent retellings of the story, this is Chase's version:

"Julian was on the scale, and they were scaling him and he peed. And we laughed. Like this 'ha ha ha ha ha ha'".

Brett Favre Sends Pictures of His Dick to Jenn Sterger

We all love Jenn Sterger. We did the moment we laid eyes on her gigantic boobs when she was just a college student at Florida State letting her boobs hang out for the cameras to try to get noticed.



Well, it worked, she turned that 5 second shot during an FSU game into a career. That career led her to work as a sideline reporter (sort of) for the New York Jets.
It was during that time that Brett Favre noticed what all of had seen for years.
He asked the Jets PR guy to get him her number. He did. Favre then called and invited Sterger to his hotel room. He left her MySpace messages. And he sent her pictures of his cock.



If you want to see the entire story in 2 minutes check out the video made by Deadspin, which broke this story. I stress 2 minutes, because if you watch for more than 2 minutes you will see Brett Favre's cock. Or at least it somebody's cock. We think it's Brett Favre's because we're pretty sure it is his voice on the voice messages. And we're pretty sure the watch he's wearing in one of the pictures is the same watch he wore during one of his retirement press conferences.




So I guess the point is Brett Favre is a scumbag. Jenn Sterger is good for not taking him up on his offer but bad for sharing the story and the pictures and voicemails with Deadspin. I believe every word and I am not the least bit surprised.