Sean Hannity arguing with Anjem Choudary. You must stick with this until the end. The good-bye is priceless.
"You're one sick miserable evil SOB but thank you for coming on anyway."
Friday, February 04, 2011
What's the Most Embarrassing Part?
During a recent girls' high school basketball game in Utah Christian Heritage High beat West Ridge Academy 108-3.
This called up the usual questions of sportsmanship, self-esteem, competitiveness and the wussification of America.
But the one thing no one is talking about is which is the worst part, allowing 108 points in a 24 minute (I think) game, or scoring only 3.
I think the answer has to be scoring only 3. I'm sure there was a great physical difference between the two teams, which made it impossible to stop them on defense. But unless the ball got stolen everytime and every shot was blocked, they should have been able to make at least two baskets. Let's say they only get 10 shots off the entire game. They only needed to make 2 of them to get 4 points. Scoring only 3 points, blame yourself.
This called up the usual questions of sportsmanship, self-esteem, competitiveness and the wussification of America.
But the one thing no one is talking about is which is the worst part, allowing 108 points in a 24 minute (I think) game, or scoring only 3.
I think the answer has to be scoring only 3. I'm sure there was a great physical difference between the two teams, which made it impossible to stop them on defense. But unless the ball got stolen everytime and every shot was blocked, they should have been able to make at least two baskets. Let's say they only get 10 shots off the entire game. They only needed to make 2 of them to get 4 points. Scoring only 3 points, blame yourself.
Wednesday, February 02, 2011
Song of the Week
"Walk Like an Egyptian" - The Bangles
Tell me you haven't been singing this song to yourself this week.
Tell me you haven't been singing this song to yourself this week.
50 Years on TV and No One Knows Who He Is
Three idiots on Wheel of Fortune
Regis Philbrin and Kelly Ripa
Regis Philbin and Kelly Reepa
Regis Philmin and Kelly Ripa
Regis Philbin and Kelly Ripe-a
That was ridiculous. But I think what happened was it wasn't quite clear what the previous mistakes were so they kept trying to change their answers.
Regis Philbrin and Kelly Ripa
Regis Philbin and Kelly Reepa
Regis Philmin and Kelly Ripa
Regis Philbin and Kelly Ripe-a
That was ridiculous. But I think what happened was it wasn't quite clear what the previous mistakes were so they kept trying to change their answers.
Monday, January 31, 2011
You May Be Surprised at My Answer
Ohio Congressman and former Presidential Candidate Dennis Kucinich is suing a Congressional cafeteria for $150,000. Three years ago Kucinich ate a sandwich and bit down on an olive which still contained a pit. Kucinich says he suffered serious dental problems as a result, and according to his lawsuit "a loss of enjoyment."
Throw out the amount he's seeking, because you always ask for way more than reasonably should be awarded, fully expecting the judgment to be reduced. Consider only the merits of his claim. And forget the loss of enjoyment too, though I guess it makes sense, you would enjoy food and life a lot less if you had a broken tooth requiring serious oral surgery to repair.
Focus only on his claim: he expected everything in his sandwich to be easily edible. I agree with him. No one should put a olive with a pit in a sandwich, that's negligence on the part of the cafeteria's food preparers. And he suffered actual damages as a result of that improperly prepared sandwich. I say this is a legitimate lawsuit.
Throw out the amount he's seeking, because you always ask for way more than reasonably should be awarded, fully expecting the judgment to be reduced. Consider only the merits of his claim. And forget the loss of enjoyment too, though I guess it makes sense, you would enjoy food and life a lot less if you had a broken tooth requiring serious oral surgery to repair.
Focus only on his claim: he expected everything in his sandwich to be easily edible. I agree with him. No one should put a olive with a pit in a sandwich, that's negligence on the part of the cafeteria's food preparers. And he suffered actual damages as a result of that improperly prepared sandwich. I say this is a legitimate lawsuit.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Saying Good-Bye to An Old Friend
Today I said good-bye to an old friend. A friend I have spent lots of time with.
A friend who was with me when I got in a bad accident on Christmas Day. A friend who drove me and my new bride home from our wedding. A friend who was with me when I drove around the block trying to get Chase to stop crying. A friend who has seen both my kids and my dog when they were tiny little babies. A friend who has been with me for nearly 10 years and more than 70,000 miles.
Today we traded in Mello Yello.
A friend who was with me when I got in a bad accident on Christmas Day. A friend who drove me and my new bride home from our wedding. A friend who was with me when I drove around the block trying to get Chase to stop crying. A friend who has seen both my kids and my dog when they were tiny little babies. A friend who has been with me for nearly 10 years and more than 70,000 miles.
Today we traded in Mello Yello.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Tracy Morgan Votes Yes
A long time ago we asked Would You Bang Sarah Palin?, last night Tracy Morgan answered. Walking by the set of the TNT pregame show before the Knicks-Heat game, Kenny and Charles stopped him to ask him an important question.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
We've All Had These Moments, Not on TV Though
We've all had moments of uncontrollable laughter, where you just can't stop laughing no matter what. Most of us aren't on TV when it happens to us though. A recent incident at work (which I can't post video of due to google alerts) reminded me of the king of the on-air meltdown, Charley Steiner.
Notice how he touched his right ear every time? What was he doing? Signaling to his wife and kids? Telling the director to go to break?
Btw, I'm pretty sure the reason he was laughing at Mitch Green is because they played the soundbite of him saying of Mike Tyson "like a sissy, a homo, he ran."
Notice how he touched his right ear every time? What was he doing? Signaling to his wife and kids? Telling the director to go to break?
Btw, I'm pretty sure the reason he was laughing at Mitch Green is because they played the soundbite of him saying of Mike Tyson "like a sissy, a homo, he ran."
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Song of the Week
"Me and Mrs. Jones" - Billy Paul
One of the most soulful songs of all time. You can really feel his pain. And you can't go wrong with the combination of Billy and Paul.
One of the most soulful songs of all time. You can really feel his pain. And you can't go wrong with the combination of Billy and Paul.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
The NFL is Poop - Conference Championships
Tradition!
The NFL couldn’t have planned a better matchup of two storied franchises to play in the Super Bowl. Both the Packers and Steelers have rich traditions, loyal fan bases and small markets. And their combined 9 Super Bowl titles is the most of any two teams to ever meet in a Super Bowl. None of that will matter once the game starts, but the similarities will continue. Both teams have good quarterbacks, fast wide receivers and aggressive defenses led by long-haired maniacs. The early spread of Packers by 2 ½ indicates oddsmakers think as I do. This is going to be a close, exciting game along the lines of some great Super Bowls we’ve seen in the past 10 years.
Where Did the Jets Go Wrong?
A lot of hand-wringing this week about strategic calls by Rex Ryan and Brian Schottenheimer on the 4th quarter drive which led to a goal line stop. Without the benefit of hindsight I said the Jets should have kicked the field goal instead of going for it on 4th and 1 from the 20. But once they got to the 1, they needed to keep going even on 4th down, but I too disagree with the play calling. But one of the benefits of going for it so close to the goal line is, even if you miss, you put the other team in a very disadvantageous position. And that’s exactly what happened. Sure, they missed, but they forced a safety and after the free kick drove for a touchdown. So I don’t think the mistakes on that previous drive really cost them. They lost the game in the first half. And it had slammed shut on them when the Steelers were aggressive late in the game and completed two big passes when many teams would have just run into the line.
Jim Nantz is Gay…and Wrong
Jim Nantz gently suggested the Jets should have gone for 2 on their final touchdown, to make the game 24-20 instead of 24-19. He is blatantly wrong. First of all there was very little time left so his scenario of Jets stopping the Steelers, scoring a touchdown and then giving up a field goal seems unlikely. More plausible, Jets miss the 2, trail 24-18, give up a field goal and have no chance. Extend the game, don’t chase points, and use it only as a last resort. Those are the rules of 2-point conversions.
Caleb Who?
A valiant effort by the Chicago Bears behind 3rd string quarterback Caleb Haine to score 2 touchdowns (with a little help from passive Packers defense) and be in position to tie the game late. The big story in this game of course was Jay Cutler not playing in the second half. No one really knows how injured he was. If he thought he was too injured and someone else could do a better job, then maybe he made the right decision to give way to Haine. But because it’s only a ligament sprain, because things weren’t going his way and because he has a reputation for being a petulant prima donna, no one is giving him the benefit of the doubt.
Now the Whole Franchise is in Disarray
The Bears should be celebrating a season in which they won their division and hosted the NFC Championship game. They made major strides on offense late in the season, to go with an already strong defense. And had they lost this game under normal circumstances, hopes could be high for next season. Instead, Bears fans, coaches and players may never be able to trust their quarterback again. I think the Bears are going to trade Cutler in the offseason. To the Redskins for the 10th pick in the draft, which could very well be Cam Newton.
The NFL couldn’t have planned a better matchup of two storied franchises to play in the Super Bowl. Both the Packers and Steelers have rich traditions, loyal fan bases and small markets. And their combined 9 Super Bowl titles is the most of any two teams to ever meet in a Super Bowl. None of that will matter once the game starts, but the similarities will continue. Both teams have good quarterbacks, fast wide receivers and aggressive defenses led by long-haired maniacs. The early spread of Packers by 2 ½ indicates oddsmakers think as I do. This is going to be a close, exciting game along the lines of some great Super Bowls we’ve seen in the past 10 years.
Where Did the Jets Go Wrong?
A lot of hand-wringing this week about strategic calls by Rex Ryan and Brian Schottenheimer on the 4th quarter drive which led to a goal line stop. Without the benefit of hindsight I said the Jets should have kicked the field goal instead of going for it on 4th and 1 from the 20. But once they got to the 1, they needed to keep going even on 4th down, but I too disagree with the play calling. But one of the benefits of going for it so close to the goal line is, even if you miss, you put the other team in a very disadvantageous position. And that’s exactly what happened. Sure, they missed, but they forced a safety and after the free kick drove for a touchdown. So I don’t think the mistakes on that previous drive really cost them. They lost the game in the first half. And it had slammed shut on them when the Steelers were aggressive late in the game and completed two big passes when many teams would have just run into the line.
Jim Nantz is Gay…and Wrong
Jim Nantz gently suggested the Jets should have gone for 2 on their final touchdown, to make the game 24-20 instead of 24-19. He is blatantly wrong. First of all there was very little time left so his scenario of Jets stopping the Steelers, scoring a touchdown and then giving up a field goal seems unlikely. More plausible, Jets miss the 2, trail 24-18, give up a field goal and have no chance. Extend the game, don’t chase points, and use it only as a last resort. Those are the rules of 2-point conversions.
Caleb Who?
A valiant effort by the Chicago Bears behind 3rd string quarterback Caleb Haine to score 2 touchdowns (with a little help from passive Packers defense) and be in position to tie the game late. The big story in this game of course was Jay Cutler not playing in the second half. No one really knows how injured he was. If he thought he was too injured and someone else could do a better job, then maybe he made the right decision to give way to Haine. But because it’s only a ligament sprain, because things weren’t going his way and because he has a reputation for being a petulant prima donna, no one is giving him the benefit of the doubt.
Now the Whole Franchise is in Disarray
The Bears should be celebrating a season in which they won their division and hosted the NFC Championship game. They made major strides on offense late in the season, to go with an already strong defense. And had they lost this game under normal circumstances, hopes could be high for next season. Instead, Bears fans, coaches and players may never be able to trust their quarterback again. I think the Bears are going to trade Cutler in the offseason. To the Redskins for the 10th pick in the draft, which could very well be Cam Newton.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Weekly Picks
Well I am limping to the finish, three straight missed best bets and the games are even harder this week.
PITTSBURGH -3 1/2 new york jets
I flip-flopped on this game during the middle of the week for a few reasons. First of all, too many people are loving the Jets. Second, it seems the Jets made last week's game against the Patriots their Super Bowl. They will need the emotion Bart Scott had in the postgame interview, for 60 minutes against the Steelers. But the biggest reason I changed my mind is because I don't trust Mark Sanchez against a defense as strong and aggressive as the Steelers. But if the Jets win it'll be because of injuries on the Steelers offensive line.
BEST BET
CHICAGO +3 1/2 green bay
This is once again a pick against common convention. I can't see why everyone is picking the Packers in this one. Yes, Aaron Rodgers is playing great right now, but I think Jay Cutler is doing pretty well. The Bears will have to protect him though, and they will need to establish some kind of running game. But I really love the 3 and a half points here and I haven't lost with a home underdog all season. Btw, the Redskins beat both of these teams in the regular season.
Last week: 2-2 (1 point)
Season: 49-44 (50 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (10-9)
Home Favorites: 2-2 (19-17)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (2-0)
Road Favorites: 0-0 (17-18)
Road Underdogs: 0-0 (11-9)
PITTSBURGH -3 1/2 new york jets
I flip-flopped on this game during the middle of the week for a few reasons. First of all, too many people are loving the Jets. Second, it seems the Jets made last week's game against the Patriots their Super Bowl. They will need the emotion Bart Scott had in the postgame interview, for 60 minutes against the Steelers. But the biggest reason I changed my mind is because I don't trust Mark Sanchez against a defense as strong and aggressive as the Steelers. But if the Jets win it'll be because of injuries on the Steelers offensive line.
BEST BET
CHICAGO +3 1/2 green bay
This is once again a pick against common convention. I can't see why everyone is picking the Packers in this one. Yes, Aaron Rodgers is playing great right now, but I think Jay Cutler is doing pretty well. The Bears will have to protect him though, and they will need to establish some kind of running game. But I really love the 3 and a half points here and I haven't lost with a home underdog all season. Btw, the Redskins beat both of these teams in the regular season.
Last week: 2-2 (1 point)
Season: 49-44 (50 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (10-9)
Home Favorites: 2-2 (19-17)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (2-0)
Road Favorites: 0-0 (17-18)
Road Underdogs: 0-0 (11-9)
Laughing At Other People's Misfortune
If I lived on this street in Pittsburgh I would park my car in the driveway, make some hot cocoa and sit on the porch watching the action.
If you liked that, check out this one, from Portland, Oregon in 2007. The first accident is unbelievable.
If you liked that, check out this one, from Portland, Oregon in 2007. The first accident is unbelievable.
Friday, January 21, 2011
And You Thought Texting While Driving Was Bad
This woman actually gives me a good idea. I am going to pretend to be texting while walking through the mall, and fall in the fountain. Except when I do it, I'm going to grab a handful of change.
The woman is angry at mall security for posting the video online. Understandable.
She is also angry they laughed at her instead of helping her. Understandable, on the part of mall security.
And now she is considering a lawsuit because she became an international laughing stock as a result of the video being leaked. That is going too far. And it earns Cathy Cruz Marrero the oversensitive babies and frivolous lawsuit tags.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Song of the Week
"I Don't Want to Go" - Freddie Jackson
So nice to see this guy back. It's been 20 years since he rocked it with hits like "Rock Me Tonight" and "You Are my Lady." He looks a lot different (skinnier) and sounds different (like Ronald Isley or something) but he's still awesome.
So nice to see this guy back. It's been 20 years since he rocked it with hits like "Rock Me Tonight" and "You Are my Lady." He looks a lot different (skinnier) and sounds different (like Ronald Isley or something) but he's still awesome.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
And This Year's Golden Globes Joke Award Winner Is...
January Jones from "Mad Men" shows off her Golden Globes.
Runner-up was Sofia Vergara from "Modern Family" but she seems a little too obvious.
And she didn't need me, she made the joke herself
Runner-up was Sofia Vergara from "Modern Family" but she seems a little too obvious.
And she didn't need me, she made the joke herself
Monday, January 17, 2011
The NFL is Poop - Divisional Playoffs
Look Who’s Talking Now
The Jets backed up all their trash talk by beating New England 28-21 in New England. The key was the pressure the Jets were able to get on Tom Brady. It wasn’t only the 5 sacks, it just seemed like they really rattled him. Even in situations where the Jets didn’t get pressure on him, he still wasn’t able to hit the big play. Revis of course was Revis, but Cromartie didn’t get burned as they thought he would. The Jets meanwhile were able to ride a very balanced offense to the victory. While Mark Sanchez will get (and deserve) a lot of credit he owes his receivers a debt of gratitude. Great plays from Santonio Holmes (sick catch in the corner) and Jerricho Cotchery (hurdle along the sidelines) helped Sanchez look a lot better.
This Isn't Nazi Germany
Bill Belichick is a hardass. He has his way, and he rigorously sticks to it. And of course he thinks his way is best. And he was willing to hurt his team in a playoff game to prove his tight-lipped policy is superior to Rex Ryan’s open mouth. He benched Wes Welker for the start of the game because of his pre-game press conference.
I thought that was quite funny, “foot soldiers,” “quick feet,” and “toe in the water.” Cheesy puns but under the circumstances quite funny.
My Favorite Moment of the Weekend
Bears cornerback Charles "Peanut" Tillman's self-inflicted punishment after dropping a sure interception. Tillman gets down and gives me 20 push-ups, like Willie Mays Hayes.
The Bears Don't Suck
All season long I have derided the Bears as being a bad team that got lucky. This assumption was based on the controversial win over the Lions in Week 1, another win over the Cowboys in week 2 in which the offensive line got destroyed, the offfensive line getting historically demolished against the Giants, and a turnover laden mess against the Redskins. Somehow, some way the offensive line improved, Jay Cutler stopped taking bad chances and the defense reasserted itself as a championship caliber unit. Now the Bears are hosting the NFC championship game.
I Don't Believe in Momentum, But...
The interception return for a touchdown by Tramon Williams at the end of the first half was the closest thing I've seen to a game-changing play. The Falcons seemed likely to cut the Packers lead to 21-17 at the half, trailing, but definitely still in the game. That play made the lead 14, silenced the crowd and turned the Falcons desparate. 48-21 seems like a game the Falcons had no chance to win, but they did, until that interception.
Play to Win the Game
We saw a few plays this weekend (the above pass by Matt Ryan, the fake punt by the Patriots) that showed teams thought taking big chances was necessary to win these games. While some of them didn't work out, either for imprudent decision-making or poor execution, the Pittsburgh Steelers put their victory away with a huge gamble. About two minutes left, 3rd and 19 on their own 38. Instead of trying to kill time and punt the Steelers went for the jugular with Ben Roethlisberger nailing a 58-yard pass to Antonio Brown setting up the game winning touchdown.
Play to the Whistle
One of the most bizarre plays I've ever seen occurred when Terrell Suggs knocked the ball out of Ben Roethlisberger's hand from behind, sending the ball flying forward, and appearing to anyone who didn't see where it came from, to have been a forward pass. That's why a couple players on each team looked down at the ball and didn't fall on it. Cory Redding was aware and scored a touchdown that did turn the game -- for a while -- until the Ravens own turnovers turned the game back.
Play The Game the Right Way
The Ravens-Steelers game was marred by two things, turnovers and penalties. Nearly every play of the game was followed by pushing and shoving by the two teams. No one was more guilty of chippiness than Hines Ward. He is a dirty player and is always involved in something.
The Jets backed up all their trash talk by beating New England 28-21 in New England. The key was the pressure the Jets were able to get on Tom Brady. It wasn’t only the 5 sacks, it just seemed like they really rattled him. Even in situations where the Jets didn’t get pressure on him, he still wasn’t able to hit the big play. Revis of course was Revis, but Cromartie didn’t get burned as they thought he would. The Jets meanwhile were able to ride a very balanced offense to the victory. While Mark Sanchez will get (and deserve) a lot of credit he owes his receivers a debt of gratitude. Great plays from Santonio Holmes (sick catch in the corner) and Jerricho Cotchery (hurdle along the sidelines) helped Sanchez look a lot better.
This Isn't Nazi Germany
Bill Belichick is a hardass. He has his way, and he rigorously sticks to it. And of course he thinks his way is best. And he was willing to hurt his team in a playoff game to prove his tight-lipped policy is superior to Rex Ryan’s open mouth. He benched Wes Welker for the start of the game because of his pre-game press conference.
I thought that was quite funny, “foot soldiers,” “quick feet,” and “toe in the water.” Cheesy puns but under the circumstances quite funny.
My Favorite Moment of the Weekend
Bears cornerback Charles "Peanut" Tillman's self-inflicted punishment after dropping a sure interception. Tillman gets down and gives me 20 push-ups, like Willie Mays Hayes.
The Bears Don't Suck
All season long I have derided the Bears as being a bad team that got lucky. This assumption was based on the controversial win over the Lions in Week 1, another win over the Cowboys in week 2 in which the offensive line got destroyed, the offfensive line getting historically demolished against the Giants, and a turnover laden mess against the Redskins. Somehow, some way the offensive line improved, Jay Cutler stopped taking bad chances and the defense reasserted itself as a championship caliber unit. Now the Bears are hosting the NFC championship game.
I Don't Believe in Momentum, But...
The interception return for a touchdown by Tramon Williams at the end of the first half was the closest thing I've seen to a game-changing play. The Falcons seemed likely to cut the Packers lead to 21-17 at the half, trailing, but definitely still in the game. That play made the lead 14, silenced the crowd and turned the Falcons desparate. 48-21 seems like a game the Falcons had no chance to win, but they did, until that interception.
Play to Win the Game
We saw a few plays this weekend (the above pass by Matt Ryan, the fake punt by the Patriots) that showed teams thought taking big chances was necessary to win these games. While some of them didn't work out, either for imprudent decision-making or poor execution, the Pittsburgh Steelers put their victory away with a huge gamble. About two minutes left, 3rd and 19 on their own 38. Instead of trying to kill time and punt the Steelers went for the jugular with Ben Roethlisberger nailing a 58-yard pass to Antonio Brown setting up the game winning touchdown.
Play to the Whistle
One of the most bizarre plays I've ever seen occurred when Terrell Suggs knocked the ball out of Ben Roethlisberger's hand from behind, sending the ball flying forward, and appearing to anyone who didn't see where it came from, to have been a forward pass. That's why a couple players on each team looked down at the ball and didn't fall on it. Cory Redding was aware and scored a touchdown that did turn the game -- for a while -- until the Ravens own turnovers turned the game back.
Play The Game the Right Way
The Ravens-Steelers game was marred by two things, turnovers and penalties. Nearly every play of the game was followed by pushing and shoving by the two teams. No one was more guilty of chippiness than Hines Ward. He is a dirty player and is always involved in something.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Weekly Picks
I'm choosing the wrong time to start missing best bets. We saw 3 favorites and 3 road teams win last week. This week we see all 4 favorites hold serve.
ATLANTA -1 1/2 green bay
Basically a pick'em game and since the Falcons are home and they have a win over the Packers already I'm going to expect them to ride a conservative offense to another close victory.
PITTSBURGH -3 1/2 baltimore
Complete toss-up. I really like the Ravens but something about the Steelers says they aren't going to lose this one. I could see it being a field goal game but I'm going with the Steelers because of the perceived strength of their home field advantage.
CHICAGO -10 seattle
Too much attention on Seattle this week. One game cannot erase a whole season of mediocrity -- or worse. Their offense played well last week but the Bears defense is a whole level about New Orleans. I also think Cutler will play a good game because he won't fall behind and have to take a lot of chances.
BEST BET
NEW ENGLAND -8 1/2 new york jets
The trash talking has nothing to do with it. The Patriots are just a better team. I think they will be able to stop the run and Brady will pick on Cromartie and the Patriots will get another big victory.
Last week: 2-2 (1 point)
Season: 47-42 (49 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (10-8)
Home Favorites: 0-1 (17-15)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (2-0)
Road Favorites: 1-1 (17-18)
Road Underdogs: 1-0 (11-9)
ATLANTA -1 1/2 green bay
Basically a pick'em game and since the Falcons are home and they have a win over the Packers already I'm going to expect them to ride a conservative offense to another close victory.
PITTSBURGH -3 1/2 baltimore
Complete toss-up. I really like the Ravens but something about the Steelers says they aren't going to lose this one. I could see it being a field goal game but I'm going with the Steelers because of the perceived strength of their home field advantage.
CHICAGO -10 seattle
Too much attention on Seattle this week. One game cannot erase a whole season of mediocrity -- or worse. Their offense played well last week but the Bears defense is a whole level about New Orleans. I also think Cutler will play a good game because he won't fall behind and have to take a lot of chances.
BEST BET
NEW ENGLAND -8 1/2 new york jets
The trash talking has nothing to do with it. The Patriots are just a better team. I think they will be able to stop the run and Brady will pick on Cromartie and the Patriots will get another big victory.
Last week: 2-2 (1 point)
Season: 47-42 (49 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (10-8)
Home Favorites: 0-1 (17-15)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (2-0)
Road Favorites: 1-1 (17-18)
Road Underdogs: 1-0 (11-9)
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Does Anyone Remember Mr. Bailey's First Name?
Throughout my education I was convinced I was smarter than most of my teachers, few of whom cared about their jobs, they were just in it for the pension.
Obviously many people including my parents disagreed (hard to fathom a 9-year old being smarter than Mrs. Manifold, but I was) with one notable exception. By far the dumbest teacher to ever disgrace the profession was our 7th grade math teacher Mr. Bailey.
There is a website that allows you to look up salaries and pensions of New York City and State public employees.
Master Bates and I have been feverishly looking up old teachers and other personnel ($57k per year for David Dinkins? really?) but the one person I couldn't find (maybe that's good because I would be outraged that even a dime of taxpayer money is going to that asshole, is Mr. Bailey, because I don't remember his first name. I tried George but that didn't work, even though it sounded right. I guess the reason it sounded right is because of James Stewart's character in "It's a Wonderful Life."
So I still don't know how much the city is paying that incompetent hack for his years of service playing hardball.
Obviously many people including my parents disagreed (hard to fathom a 9-year old being smarter than Mrs. Manifold, but I was) with one notable exception. By far the dumbest teacher to ever disgrace the profession was our 7th grade math teacher Mr. Bailey.
There is a website that allows you to look up salaries and pensions of New York City and State public employees.
Master Bates and I have been feverishly looking up old teachers and other personnel ($57k per year for David Dinkins? really?) but the one person I couldn't find (maybe that's good because I would be outraged that even a dime of taxpayer money is going to that asshole, is Mr. Bailey, because I don't remember his first name. I tried George but that didn't work, even though it sounded right. I guess the reason it sounded right is because of James Stewart's character in "It's a Wonderful Life."
So I still don't know how much the city is paying that incompetent hack for his years of service playing hardball.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Is Julian a Poor Bastard?
I sent this picture of Julian in his Redskins outfit to Master Bates and he wrote back "Poor bastard, a lifetime of suffering."
Song of the Week
"King of Anything" - Sara Bareilles
This sounds like a happy, cheerful song but I hear some anguish in it. Behind this pop hit is a guy wishing he never dumped Sara Bareilles. These complaints seem too specific to not have been personal experiences.
This sounds like a happy, cheerful song but I hear some anguish in it. Behind this pop hit is a guy wishing he never dumped Sara Bareilles. These complaints seem too specific to not have been personal experiences.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
This is What Happens When the Knicks are Good
The Knicks are finally good which drew a particularly star-studded crowd to the Staples Center for their annual visit.
Of course Spike Lee was there.
And Jack Nicholson. You can see Clyde's jacket in the background.
And Jack is sitting next to Adam Sandler.
Lindsay Lohan was the star of the show. Seated next to a presumably gay jewelry designer.
The really smokin hot Ciara
Denzel Washington tries to get some.
Which one is Will.I.am's date, the older Asian lady or the fat guy.
Dr. Dre can't believe Will.I.am has better seats.
Khloe Kardashian roots on her husband
Matthew Morrison from Glee enjoys his 15 minutes because next year when he calls for tickets they're going to say "I'm sorry, who are you?"
Is George Lopez even considered a celebrity anymore?
Oof! Didn't Michelle Trachtenberg used to be hot, or at least cute?
Get a rebound, pleeeeeeeeese
Of course Spike Lee was there.
And Jack Nicholson. You can see Clyde's jacket in the background.
And Jack is sitting next to Adam Sandler.
Lindsay Lohan was the star of the show. Seated next to a presumably gay jewelry designer.
The really smokin hot Ciara
Denzel Washington tries to get some.
Which one is Will.I.am's date, the older Asian lady or the fat guy.
Dr. Dre can't believe Will.I.am has better seats.
Khloe Kardashian roots on her husband
Matthew Morrison from Glee enjoys his 15 minutes because next year when he calls for tickets they're going to say "I'm sorry, who are you?"
Is George Lopez even considered a celebrity anymore?
Oof! Didn't Michelle Trachtenberg used to be hot, or at least cute?
Get a rebound, pleeeeeeeeese
Monday, January 10, 2011
Why?
9-year-old Christina Taylor Green was among the 6 people killed in Tucson, Arizona over the weekend. Several others were injured including Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords, who was the target of the attack.
Christina was attending the event with her neighbor. Christina wanted to meet a Congresswoman because she had just been elected to the student council at her school.
Christina was a second baseman on her Little League team, the only girl on her squad. She loved baseball, like her grandfather, former Mets manager Dallas Green.
Green said "I can't believe my princess is gone."
Christina was born on September 11th, 2001. She used to think her date of birth was a "holiday" until her parents corrected her. But she was a ray of hope emerging from the worst manmade disaster in U.S. history. Sadly, her death marks another one.
Christina was attending the event with her neighbor. Christina wanted to meet a Congresswoman because she had just been elected to the student council at her school.
Christina was a second baseman on her Little League team, the only girl on her squad. She loved baseball, like her grandfather, former Mets manager Dallas Green.
Green said "I can't believe my princess is gone."
Christina was born on September 11th, 2001. She used to think her date of birth was a "holiday" until her parents corrected her. But she was a ray of hope emerging from the worst manmade disaster in U.S. history. Sadly, her death marks another one.
Saturday, January 08, 2011
Weekly Picks
What an idiot I am for picking the Jaguars as my best bet. That might have ruined my season. If I had just picked New England instead I'd have 50 which is 1 point off the desired 3-per-week pace. But now the playoffs are here and there is plenty of time to make up for it.
new orleans -10 SEATTLE
I wanted to make this one my best bet but it seems a little too obvious, and fraught with risks. The Seahawks have lost 9 times this season, all by margins greater than 10. In fact the closest they were in defeat all season was losing to New Orleans 34-19. But here's my fear. The Saints are up 27-10 late. They have the ball and can't run it for a first down because all they have is Reggie Bush and Julius Jones. Seattle gets it back and scores a garbage touchdown to break the spread. I normally don't worry about things like that, but it seems too plausible in this situation.
new york jets +3 INDIANAPOLIS
I think with all the injuries for the Colts this matchup actually plays into the Jets hands. If Revis and Cromartie can cover the outside receivers Manning is going to have to rely on Jacob Tamme. The key will be Mark Sanchez but this doesn't seem like a defense that will really give him major problems.
baltimore -3 KANSAS CITY
I actually think Kansas City has been very underrated all season, not just in terms of their record, but in terms of their talent. They are not a group of overachieving underdogs. They have a lot of good players on both sides of the ball. But I like the Ray-vens Rays (Rice and Lewis) to take control of this game and eke out a victory.
BEST BET
PHILADELPHIA -2 1/2 green bay
The only game this weekend that can't end in a push. That scares me, honestly. I also like that a lot of people are taking Green Bay. They think that Green Bay's pressure will get to Vick but yes, Vick will take sacks but when he is pressured he runs, and when he runs he is most effective. He is not a pocket passer, even though he can throw that deep ball, the Eagles offense is better when he is out of the pocket running.
Last week: 3-2 (2 points)
Season: 45-40 (48 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (10-7)
Home Favorites: 2-0 (17-14)
Home Underdogs: 1-0 (2-0)
Road Favorites: 0-2 (16-17)
Road Underdogs: 0-0 (10-9)
new orleans -10 SEATTLE
I wanted to make this one my best bet but it seems a little too obvious, and fraught with risks. The Seahawks have lost 9 times this season, all by margins greater than 10. In fact the closest they were in defeat all season was losing to New Orleans 34-19. But here's my fear. The Saints are up 27-10 late. They have the ball and can't run it for a first down because all they have is Reggie Bush and Julius Jones. Seattle gets it back and scores a garbage touchdown to break the spread. I normally don't worry about things like that, but it seems too plausible in this situation.
new york jets +3 INDIANAPOLIS
I think with all the injuries for the Colts this matchup actually plays into the Jets hands. If Revis and Cromartie can cover the outside receivers Manning is going to have to rely on Jacob Tamme. The key will be Mark Sanchez but this doesn't seem like a defense that will really give him major problems.
baltimore -3 KANSAS CITY
I actually think Kansas City has been very underrated all season, not just in terms of their record, but in terms of their talent. They are not a group of overachieving underdogs. They have a lot of good players on both sides of the ball. But I like the Ray-vens Rays (Rice and Lewis) to take control of this game and eke out a victory.
BEST BET
PHILADELPHIA -2 1/2 green bay
The only game this weekend that can't end in a push. That scares me, honestly. I also like that a lot of people are taking Green Bay. They think that Green Bay's pressure will get to Vick but yes, Vick will take sacks but when he is pressured he runs, and when he runs he is most effective. He is not a pocket passer, even though he can throw that deep ball, the Eagles offense is better when he is out of the pocket running.
Last week: 3-2 (2 points)
Season: 45-40 (48 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (10-7)
Home Favorites: 2-0 (17-14)
Home Underdogs: 1-0 (2-0)
Road Favorites: 0-2 (16-17)
Road Underdogs: 0-0 (10-9)
Thursday, January 06, 2011
NFL Playoff Predictions
Wild Card Round
New Orleans over Seattle
New York over Indianapolis
Baltimore over Kansas City
Philadelphia over Green Bay
Divisional Round
New England over New York
Pittsburgh over Baltimore
Philadelphia over Chicago
Atlanta over New Orleans
Conference Championships
New England over Pittsburgh
Philadelphia over Atlanta
Super Bowl
New England 35 Philadelphia 24
Please place your picks in the comments section
New Orleans over Seattle
New York over Indianapolis
Baltimore over Kansas City
Philadelphia over Green Bay
Divisional Round
New England over New York
Pittsburgh over Baltimore
Philadelphia over Chicago
Atlanta over New Orleans
Conference Championships
New England over Pittsburgh
Philadelphia over Atlanta
Super Bowl
New England 35 Philadelphia 24
Please place your picks in the comments section
Wednesday, January 05, 2011
I Would Give Him a Dollar to Record My Outgoing Voicemail Message
I often talk about something (though surprisingly I have never written about it here) called the Life Points Theory or PALPT. Basically it postulates that we are all of equal talents and blessings. Those among us who have one amazing gift are often robbed of abilities in other areas (really good looking dumb people, socially awkward geniuses, in the rare case, Stephen Hawking). That brings us to the story of Ted Williams, a homeless man in Columbus, Ohio who gained reknown among locals for his amazing voice.
Watch what happens when a crew from the Columbus Dispatch rolls up on Williams:
That clip has gone viral and the offers are pouring in for Williams. He's reportedly got offers from the Cleveland Cavaliers to do in-arena announcing. Even NFL Films might be interested. Imagine how many bbms Juice and I would exchange about an episode narrated by that guy.
Seems like Mr. Williams is simply a man who fell on hard times, some of it self-inflicted, and is now willing to admit his mistakes, accept responsibility and move on with his great gifts. I wish him the best and hope to hear him voicing over NFL highlights in the near future.
Watch what happens when a crew from the Columbus Dispatch rolls up on Williams:
That clip has gone viral and the offers are pouring in for Williams. He's reportedly got offers from the Cleveland Cavaliers to do in-arena announcing. Even NFL Films might be interested. Imagine how many bbms Juice and I would exchange about an episode narrated by that guy.
Seems like Mr. Williams is simply a man who fell on hard times, some of it self-inflicted, and is now willing to admit his mistakes, accept responsibility and move on with his great gifts. I wish him the best and hope to hear him voicing over NFL highlights in the near future.
The NFL is Poop - Week 17
Life is Not Fair
There are lot of people complaining that the Seattle Seahawks don't belong in the playoffs at 7-9, especially not when the 10-6 Giants and ExpensiveCornPrices are sitting home. Those two teams both beat the Seahawks during the season, 41-7 and 38-15 respectively. I totally understand the fairness issue but I warn about making sweeping rule changes to fix a problem that comes along very seldom.
Let's look at what's wrong with the possible solutions:
1) Never allow a losing team into the playoffs. This one makes the most sense from the surface but I don't like something with this much inconsistency. Wouldn't it have been weird if last night's game could have put the Rams in if they won, but if the Seahawks won, the Giants would have gotten in? Makes no sense.
2) Throw out divisions, the 6 best records get in. I don't like this because you want to keep as many teams in contention for as long as possible and you want to keep division rivalries. It would be very unbalanced scheduling if you kept the division alignments but didn't reward division winners.
3) Award home-field playoff games to the team with the better record. This I could get behind. I see no reason why division winners need to be rewarded with a home playoff game.
Rex Grossman: Quarterback of the Future
Only a few months ago Donovan McNabb was coming to the Redskins with something to prove and Michael Vick was mired on the bench behind Kevin Kolb. Now Michael Vick is runner-up for MVP and Donovan McNabb has an uncertain future. There is no way in the world McNabb comes back to the Redskins next season, whenever that is. I think the Vikings are a good landing place for him. I think the Redskins will draft a quarterback but since it won't be Andrew Luck, it will be someone else who needs time to develop (Jake Locker?) I think they need to give Grossman the time to prove he's learned and grown through his NFL career.
The Giants Have No One to Blame But Themselves
A lot of Giants fans are crying right now (because Giants fans are big babies) about finishing 10-6 and missing out on the playoffs to a team with a worse record by 3 games, that they beat by 34 earlier this season. But after two straight debacles against the Eagles and Packers the Giants have to look no further than the man in the mirror. Eli Manning through [oops] 25 INTs, and the Giants lost 17 fumbles, you just can't make up for that even when you lead the league in takeaways. But there is good news for Giants fans. They have great young players at many offensive positions, they are great up front on defense, and by erasing a few mistakes they could easily have been 12-4 or 13-3.
If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
New England 31 Atlanta 14
I will go into breaking down this week's matchups and the entire postseason in separate posts this week but right now the Pats are playing above the rim. Some team would have to come out like a house of fire, injure Tom Brady, take the ball away 5 times to beat the Patriots in New England in the AFC playoffs. I could see the Falcons, Eagles and maybe Packers giving them a hard time in the Super Bowl, but I doubt it.
There are lot of people complaining that the Seattle Seahawks don't belong in the playoffs at 7-9, especially not when the 10-6 Giants and ExpensiveCornPrices are sitting home. Those two teams both beat the Seahawks during the season, 41-7 and 38-15 respectively. I totally understand the fairness issue but I warn about making sweeping rule changes to fix a problem that comes along very seldom.
Let's look at what's wrong with the possible solutions:
1) Never allow a losing team into the playoffs. This one makes the most sense from the surface but I don't like something with this much inconsistency. Wouldn't it have been weird if last night's game could have put the Rams in if they won, but if the Seahawks won, the Giants would have gotten in? Makes no sense.
2) Throw out divisions, the 6 best records get in. I don't like this because you want to keep as many teams in contention for as long as possible and you want to keep division rivalries. It would be very unbalanced scheduling if you kept the division alignments but didn't reward division winners.
3) Award home-field playoff games to the team with the better record. This I could get behind. I see no reason why division winners need to be rewarded with a home playoff game.
Rex Grossman: Quarterback of the Future
Only a few months ago Donovan McNabb was coming to the Redskins with something to prove and Michael Vick was mired on the bench behind Kevin Kolb. Now Michael Vick is runner-up for MVP and Donovan McNabb has an uncertain future. There is no way in the world McNabb comes back to the Redskins next season, whenever that is. I think the Vikings are a good landing place for him. I think the Redskins will draft a quarterback but since it won't be Andrew Luck, it will be someone else who needs time to develop (Jake Locker?) I think they need to give Grossman the time to prove he's learned and grown through his NFL career.
The Giants Have No One to Blame But Themselves
A lot of Giants fans are crying right now (because Giants fans are big babies) about finishing 10-6 and missing out on the playoffs to a team with a worse record by 3 games, that they beat by 34 earlier this season. But after two straight debacles against the Eagles and Packers the Giants have to look no further than the man in the mirror. Eli Manning through [oops] 25 INTs, and the Giants lost 17 fumbles, you just can't make up for that even when you lead the league in takeaways. But there is good news for Giants fans. They have great young players at many offensive positions, they are great up front on defense, and by erasing a few mistakes they could easily have been 12-4 or 13-3.
If the Super Bowl Were Played Today
New England 31 Atlanta 14
I will go into breaking down this week's matchups and the entire postseason in separate posts this week but right now the Pats are playing above the rim. Some team would have to come out like a house of fire, injure Tom Brady, take the ball away 5 times to beat the Patriots in New England in the AFC playoffs. I could see the Falcons, Eagles and maybe Packers giving them a hard time in the Super Bowl, but I doubt it.
I Think His Nose is Broken
Watch the UFC long enough and you will see some pretty gruesome things. Usually it's just a lot of blood (like Diego Sanchez after a beating from BJ Penn). You even see cuts so bad they get their own nickname like Marvin Eastman's Goat's Vagina. Sometimes you see a guy get his eye punched swollen shut like Josh Koscheck after GSP got through with him. And there is the occassional broken bone, like the freak broken leg Corey Hill suffered when his kick was checked.
But Saturday night during UFC 125 Brandon Vera's broken nose was so bad it even disgusted Vera himself. He saw his hideous visage on the Jumbotron and shielded his eyes.
But Saturday night during UFC 125 Brandon Vera's broken nose was so bad it even disgusted Vera himself. He saw his hideous visage on the Jumbotron and shielded his eyes.
Tuesday, January 04, 2011
Whom Would You Vote For?
I always get worked up over Hall of Fame voting, especially baseball, even though I say I won't. This year there are a lot of interesting candidates. I don't want to analyze stats on them, just give a quick reaction to them:
Roberto Alomar - YES, best at his position during his era.
Jeff Bagwell - YES, phenenomenal offensive stats. His numbers hold up compared to players over other generations even when adjusted for era. I am pretty sure he was juiced but since his name has never even come up, even I find that hard to hold against him.
Bert Blyleven - NO, good pitcher for a long time, never great, too many negative stats.
Juan Gonzalez - NO, really good for too short a time, and an obvious steroid user.
Barry Larkin - YES, he wasn't quite Cal Ripken but he was second best shortstop during his playing career and that includes an MVP award -- rare for a shortstop.
Edgar Martinez - YES, his offensive stats are beyond compare. If you aren't going to allow designated hitters into the the Hall now matter how good they are, then you shouldn't have the designated hitter. Closers get in, and they only pitch one inning.
Mark McGwire - NO, a marginal Hall of Famer otherwise, but now that we know he cheated, I say no way
Rafael Palmeiro - NO, the only one of these guys actually caught by the testing. It would be impossible to keep someone with his numbers out of the Hall if not for the steroids.
Larry Walker - YES, but for purely selfish reasons
Here's the big problem with how I voted and the way many real Hall of Fame voters are voting: if you keep out known steroid users, what happens if someone you voted in, whom you had no prior reason to suspect of steroid use, later admits usage, do you revoke their induction?
Roberto Alomar - YES, best at his position during his era.
Jeff Bagwell - YES, phenenomenal offensive stats. His numbers hold up compared to players over other generations even when adjusted for era. I am pretty sure he was juiced but since his name has never even come up, even I find that hard to hold against him.
Bert Blyleven - NO, good pitcher for a long time, never great, too many negative stats.
Juan Gonzalez - NO, really good for too short a time, and an obvious steroid user.
Barry Larkin - YES, he wasn't quite Cal Ripken but he was second best shortstop during his playing career and that includes an MVP award -- rare for a shortstop.
Edgar Martinez - YES, his offensive stats are beyond compare. If you aren't going to allow designated hitters into the the Hall now matter how good they are, then you shouldn't have the designated hitter. Closers get in, and they only pitch one inning.
Mark McGwire - NO, a marginal Hall of Famer otherwise, but now that we know he cheated, I say no way
Rafael Palmeiro - NO, the only one of these guys actually caught by the testing. It would be impossible to keep someone with his numbers out of the Hall if not for the steroids.
Larry Walker - YES, but for purely selfish reasons
Here's the big problem with how I voted and the way many real Hall of Fame voters are voting: if you keep out known steroid users, what happens if someone you voted in, whom you had no prior reason to suspect of steroid use, later admits usage, do you revoke their induction?
Predictions for 2011
1. Mrs. Poop and I will not have a single fight all year. So far, so good
2. Julian will learn to walk and talk
3. His first word will be "Chase"
4. He'll probably say something like "Chay" but Mrs. Bates will tell us it still counts
5. This is the year Chase finally starts to take interest in the Mets
6. The Mets will trade Jose Reyes
7. The Patriots, Phillies and Heat will win the Super Bowl, World Series and NBA Finals
8. The Super Bowl will be the last NFL game played in 2011
9. Unemployment will fall to 8.4% in December
10. The Dow will hit 13,000
11. When Sirius-XM shares hit $2 I will e-mail TON "when your stock is up, your cock is up"
12. Razor will experience great personal growth when she ceases working from home and moves to a real office, surrounded by real people instead of cats
13. Razor will no longer have time to scour her computer to send me pictures of GauntSkott from back when he was FatScat and tipping the scales at nearly 3 bills
14. Nails will scream "DIE!" at the TV while watching a sporting event
15. The Concierge will reply to a bbm within two days of it being sent
16. Billie and Alison will have a very hard time deciding which of them their new baby resembles most
17. I'll blame Coach Boeheim for Syracuse's eventual loss in the NCAA Tournament
18. JLeary will remain my favorite Poophead as TON and Billie get too busy with parenthood to read this blog
19. Cain Velazquez will beat Junior Dos Santos but lose the UFC Heavyweight belt to Shane Carwin
20. Jonny Bones Jones will be UFC Light Heavyweight Champion
21. Reissberg will spill food on his shirt
22. Juice will propose but he won't get down on one knee because he can't stay still that long
2. Julian will learn to walk and talk
3. His first word will be "Chase"
4. He'll probably say something like "Chay" but Mrs. Bates will tell us it still counts
5. This is the year Chase finally starts to take interest in the Mets
6. The Mets will trade Jose Reyes
7. The Patriots, Phillies and Heat will win the Super Bowl, World Series and NBA Finals
8. The Super Bowl will be the last NFL game played in 2011
9. Unemployment will fall to 8.4% in December
10. The Dow will hit 13,000
11. When Sirius-XM shares hit $2 I will e-mail TON "when your stock is up, your cock is up"
12. Razor will experience great personal growth when she ceases working from home and moves to a real office, surrounded by real people instead of cats
13. Razor will no longer have time to scour her computer to send me pictures of GauntSkott from back when he was FatScat and tipping the scales at nearly 3 bills
14. Nails will scream "DIE!" at the TV while watching a sporting event
15. The Concierge will reply to a bbm within two days of it being sent
16. Billie and Alison will have a very hard time deciding which of them their new baby resembles most
17. I'll blame Coach Boeheim for Syracuse's eventual loss in the NCAA Tournament
18. JLeary will remain my favorite Poophead as TON and Billie get too busy with parenthood to read this blog
19. Cain Velazquez will beat Junior Dos Santos but lose the UFC Heavyweight belt to Shane Carwin
20. Jonny Bones Jones will be UFC Light Heavyweight Champion
21. Reissberg will spill food on his shirt
22. Juice will propose but he won't get down on one knee because he can't stay still that long
Monday, January 03, 2011
Fun in the Snow
While some of you were bitching about the snow and the fact that lazy union workers didn't plow your streets for five days as an illegal protest against layoffs and budget cuts, Chase and I were making the best of it.
We went to Cora's house and went down the slide into a huge pile of snow.
Then I helped smooth out a nice track of hard packed down snow to sled on.
And then I pushed Chase down the hill so he got going really fast. By the end it became like a bobsled or luge course where if the kids leaned too far to one side they would have wiped out. And the straighter they stayed the faster they went.
Then when we got home we built a huge pile of snow, and the next day we dug out a hole to create Fort Chase. Chase wanted to take his nap in there and looking into bringing a TV into his Fortress of Solitude.
We went to Cora's house and went down the slide into a huge pile of snow.
Then I helped smooth out a nice track of hard packed down snow to sled on.
And then I pushed Chase down the hill so he got going really fast. By the end it became like a bobsled or luge course where if the kids leaned too far to one side they would have wiped out. And the straighter they stayed the faster they went.
Then when we got home we built a huge pile of snow, and the next day we dug out a hole to create Fort Chase. Chase wanted to take his nap in there and looking into bringing a TV into his Fortress of Solitude.
Sunday, January 02, 2011
Weekly Picks
Final week of the regular season, I'm not where I want to be but you can still pick up ground in the playoffs. Week 17 is always tricky especially as precious few teams have something to play for. There will be at least one or two teams who are playing for something losing to teams who are eliminated. That's what makes this week so tricky, otherwise we could just pick all the alive teams versus all the Zombies.
SEATTLE +3 st. louis
We just seemed destined to have a 7-9 team in the playoffs.
DETROIT -3 minnesota
My rule about backup quarterbacks only extends one week. It remains to be seen how good this Joe Webb really is. And I think the Lions are the team that comes on strong at the end of a season, has good young players and gets talked about all offseason as a possible playoff team.
ny giants -3 1/2 WASHINGTON
I just don't see any way the Redskins can ruin the Giants season.
NEW ENGLAND -5 1/2 miami
I have a feeling Belichick doesn't want to give his team off two weeks in a row, not when they are playing as good as they are now.
BEST BET
jacksonville -3 HOUSTON
I believe Houston was favored the last time these two teams played and Jacksonville killed them. Everyone passes on Houston and I just don't see the Texans being motivated to be a spoiler as the Jags finally have a chance to end the Colts run atop the division.
Last week: 2-3 (3 points)
Season: 42-38 (46 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (10-6)
Home Favorites: 0-2 (15-14)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (1-0)
Road Favorites: 2-1 (16-15)
Road Underdogs: 0-0 (10-9)
SEATTLE +3 st. louis
We just seemed destined to have a 7-9 team in the playoffs.
DETROIT -3 minnesota
My rule about backup quarterbacks only extends one week. It remains to be seen how good this Joe Webb really is. And I think the Lions are the team that comes on strong at the end of a season, has good young players and gets talked about all offseason as a possible playoff team.
ny giants -3 1/2 WASHINGTON
I just don't see any way the Redskins can ruin the Giants season.
NEW ENGLAND -5 1/2 miami
I have a feeling Belichick doesn't want to give his team off two weeks in a row, not when they are playing as good as they are now.
BEST BET
jacksonville -3 HOUSTON
I believe Houston was favored the last time these two teams played and Jacksonville killed them. Everyone passes on Houston and I just don't see the Texans being motivated to be a spoiler as the Jags finally have a chance to end the Colts run atop the division.
Last week: 2-3 (3 points)
Season: 42-38 (46 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (10-6)
Home Favorites: 0-2 (15-14)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (1-0)
Road Favorites: 2-1 (16-15)
Road Underdogs: 0-0 (10-9)
Friday, December 31, 2010
Padding My Year End Stats
The Poop has seen an incredible surge in activity the last two days of 2010 thanks to being linked from si.com's Hot Clicks. It linked to my post of Rex Ryan taking his jersey off as a little something for the ladies this year.
5,000 hits over two days, that's probably the most hits we've gotten since Matt Leinart knocked up his girlfriend.
I'm actually proud my Rex Ryan post was used because I often go through a lot of hard work to make sure Poopheads get to see full and complete pictures of something worth seeing. I hate when there's something that you absolutely have to see, yet no blogs have the pictures of it. The internet, like TV is a visual medium. Must show pictures.
5,000 hits over two days, that's probably the most hits we've gotten since Matt Leinart knocked up his girlfriend.
I'm actually proud my Rex Ryan post was used because I often go through a lot of hard work to make sure Poopheads get to see full and complete pictures of something worth seeing. I hate when there's something that you absolutely have to see, yet no blogs have the pictures of it. The internet, like TV is a visual medium. Must show pictures.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Song of the Week
"Sobeautiful" - Musiq Soulchild
I don't keep official stats on this but if I did I think Musiq might be the league leader in SOTWs. This is his third appearance.
I don't keep official stats on this but if I did I think Musiq might be the league leader in SOTWs. This is his third appearance.
The NFL is Poop - Week 16
A Nation of Wussies
The biggest story in the NFL this week was the postponement of Sunday night’s Eagles-Vikings game to Tuesday night because of bad weather. I believe the postponement was prudent because of the amount of snow falling in that area Sunday night. You don’t want people leaving a football game (when half of them drive drunk anyway) with an excuse not to go to work the next day, and driving drunk in the snow. You also don’t want to play the game in front of a half-empty stadium. I don’t even have a problem with the NFL’s decision to move it to Tuesday instead of Monday. ESPN didn’t want their Monday Night game getting trumped for the second week in a row. NBC didn’t want to lose its primetime game, which often wins in the ratings, especially when most shows are in reruns. I understand both those points and I understand their obligation to their business partners.
Soon-to-be former Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell doesn’t agree:
We've become a nation of wusses. The Chinese are kicking our butt in everything," Rendell said. "If this was in China, do you think the Chinese would have called off the game? People would have been marching down to the stadium; they would have walked, and they would have been doing calculus on the way down.
So the Eagles got back and Rendell by clearing out the entire stadium, and piling the snow in his seat – along with a sign that read “this seat reserved for non-wussies.”
Too Bad Brett Favre Didn’t Get Hurt Earlier
We know Tarvaris Jackson isn’t the answer for the Vikings at quarterback but Joe Webb might be. Webb is far from a polished passer but he threw for 195 yards and ran in a touchdown to lead the Vikings to a 24-14 win over the Eagles. But the real reason the Vikings won is that Michael Vick looked human. He threw an interception and fumbled twice, one of which was returned for a touchdown.
Playoff Scenarios
The AFC is pretty simple, the Patriots are number 1, the Steelers clinch the bye with a win, Ravens get it with a win and a Steelers loss. Chiefs are in, they are third if they don’t tie with the Colts, 4th if they do. The North loser finishes 5th, and the Jets are the 6th seed. The Colts get in with a win but the Jaguars are still alive if they win and Colts lose.
Most likely: Patriots, Steelers, Chiefs, Colts, Ravens, Jets
The NFC is a little more complicated. The Falcons are number 1, but they have to win, or have the Saints lose. The Bears are 2 and the Eagles are 3 no matter how they do this week. The Saints are 5 or 1 depending on results. The winner of Rams-Seahawks is in and will host the Saints or Falcons in the first round. It will be the first time a home team is a double digit underdog in a playoff game.
And then there is the 6 seed. The Packers, Giants and Tampa Bay are all tied. The Packers win a 3 way tie. The Giants get in with a win and a Packers loss. The ExpensiveCornPrices need to win and have the other two teams lose.
The biggest story in the NFL this week was the postponement of Sunday night’s Eagles-Vikings game to Tuesday night because of bad weather. I believe the postponement was prudent because of the amount of snow falling in that area Sunday night. You don’t want people leaving a football game (when half of them drive drunk anyway) with an excuse not to go to work the next day, and driving drunk in the snow. You also don’t want to play the game in front of a half-empty stadium. I don’t even have a problem with the NFL’s decision to move it to Tuesday instead of Monday. ESPN didn’t want their Monday Night game getting trumped for the second week in a row. NBC didn’t want to lose its primetime game, which often wins in the ratings, especially when most shows are in reruns. I understand both those points and I understand their obligation to their business partners.
Soon-to-be former Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell doesn’t agree:
We've become a nation of wusses. The Chinese are kicking our butt in everything," Rendell said. "If this was in China, do you think the Chinese would have called off the game? People would have been marching down to the stadium; they would have walked, and they would have been doing calculus on the way down.
So the Eagles got back and Rendell by clearing out the entire stadium, and piling the snow in his seat – along with a sign that read “this seat reserved for non-wussies.”
Too Bad Brett Favre Didn’t Get Hurt Earlier
We know Tarvaris Jackson isn’t the answer for the Vikings at quarterback but Joe Webb might be. Webb is far from a polished passer but he threw for 195 yards and ran in a touchdown to lead the Vikings to a 24-14 win over the Eagles. But the real reason the Vikings won is that Michael Vick looked human. He threw an interception and fumbled twice, one of which was returned for a touchdown.
Playoff Scenarios
The AFC is pretty simple, the Patriots are number 1, the Steelers clinch the bye with a win, Ravens get it with a win and a Steelers loss. Chiefs are in, they are third if they don’t tie with the Colts, 4th if they do. The North loser finishes 5th, and the Jets are the 6th seed. The Colts get in with a win but the Jaguars are still alive if they win and Colts lose.
Most likely: Patriots, Steelers, Chiefs, Colts, Ravens, Jets
The NFC is a little more complicated. The Falcons are number 1, but they have to win, or have the Saints lose. The Bears are 2 and the Eagles are 3 no matter how they do this week. The Saints are 5 or 1 depending on results. The winner of Rams-Seahawks is in and will host the Saints or Falcons in the first round. It will be the first time a home team is a double digit underdog in a playoff game.
And then there is the 6 seed. The Packers, Giants and Tampa Bay are all tied. The Packers win a 3 way tie. The Giants get in with a win and a Packers loss. The ExpensiveCornPrices need to win and have the other two teams lose.
What's Wrong With This Picture?
Mama Poop bought Chase some Hanukah cookies, only one problem with them.
Note: this is a lot harder than our last quiz, but the mistake is not as bad as the one with Chase's Purim gift.
Note: this is a lot harder than our last quiz, but the mistake is not as bad as the one with Chase's Purim gift.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Weekly Picks
san diego -8 CINCINNATI
JACKSONVILLE -6 1/2 washington
ATLANTA -3 new orleans
baltimore -3 CLEVELAND
BEST BET
new england -8 BUFFALO
Last week: 2-3 (1 points)
Season: 40-35 (43 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (9-6)
Home Favorites: 2-2 (15-12)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (1-0)
Road Favorites: 0-0 (14-14)
Road Underdogs: 0-1 (10-9)
JACKSONVILLE -6 1/2 washington
ATLANTA -3 new orleans
baltimore -3 CLEVELAND
BEST BET
new england -8 BUFFALO
Last week: 2-3 (1 points)
Season: 40-35 (43 points)
Best Bets: 0-1 (9-6)
Home Favorites: 2-2 (15-12)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (1-0)
Road Favorites: 0-0 (14-14)
Road Underdogs: 0-1 (10-9)
Friday, December 24, 2010
Mrs. Poop's Christmas Message
Mrs. Poop is trying to make a fashion statement this holiday season. I'm just not sure what that statement is.
Note: The headline of this post is an homage to the funniest moment of my professional career. When writing the banner (the thing that appears on the lower third of your screen) for a story on the Pope's Christmas Message one writer learned how much of a difference one letter can make. The banner read: The Pope's Christmas Massage.
Note: The headline of this post is an homage to the funniest moment of my professional career. When writing the banner (the thing that appears on the lower third of your screen) for a story on the Pope's Christmas Message one writer learned how much of a difference one letter can make. The banner read: The Pope's Christmas Massage.
Santa's on Macy's Naughty List
Santa Claus has been canned from Macy's, and he's anything but jolly about it.
John Toomey, known for 20 years at the Union Square Macy's in San Francisco as "Santa John," was told Saturday he'll have to take his "ho, ho, hos" elsewhere because an adult couple complained about a joke he cracked.
"When I ask the older people who sit on my lap if they've been good and they say, 'Yes,' I say, 'Gee, that's too bad,' " Toomey said .
"Then, if they ask why Santa is so jolly, I joke that it's because I know where all the naughty boys and girls live."
The kids who sit on his lap, he said, get only his trademark laugh and questions about what toys they want.
You mean to tell me a grown woman sat on Santa's lap, then complained about a joke, that joke? If the couple was so offended by it why couldn't they walk away. How could that joke have offended them so greatly they felt the need to complain. And the store, in San Francisco of all places, felt the need to fire the guy. The oversensitive babies are beginning their War on Christmas.
John Toomey, known for 20 years at the Union Square Macy's in San Francisco as "Santa John," was told Saturday he'll have to take his "ho, ho, hos" elsewhere because an adult couple complained about a joke he cracked.
"When I ask the older people who sit on my lap if they've been good and they say, 'Yes,' I say, 'Gee, that's too bad,' " Toomey said .
"Then, if they ask why Santa is so jolly, I joke that it's because I know where all the naughty boys and girls live."
The kids who sit on his lap, he said, get only his trademark laugh and questions about what toys they want.
You mean to tell me a grown woman sat on Santa's lap, then complained about a joke, that joke? If the couple was so offended by it why couldn't they walk away. How could that joke have offended them so greatly they felt the need to complain. And the store, in San Francisco of all places, felt the need to fire the guy. The oversensitive babies are beginning their War on Christmas.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Rex Ryan's Wife Puts Her Best Foot Forward
Rex Ryan basically admits his wife is in the foot fetish video. He says "it's a personal matter" over and over again. If it wasn't her, he would have just said "it's not her."
That even sounds like Rex's voice, and I'm sure it is.
The question is: why is this such a big deal? Why is this personally embarrassing? Note: I'm only talking about the videos, not the contest of the profiles allegedly appearing on certain websites. His wife is not doing any wrong, morally or legally. If she wants to show off her feet to foot fetishists on the internet (like TallSkott) that’s her business. Deviance is in the eye of the beholder. She has lovely feet and if someone derives sexual pleasure from looking at them that’s their problem and not hers. Or Rex Ryan’s. I understand why it’s a news story, people are interested, even I’m interested. I just don’t see how any part of this is can be construed as negative or personally embarrassing.
Here’s the best analogy I can make: I’m sure plenty of athletes are married to Victoria’s Secret models. They walk around in their underwear and put the video on TV, the internet you name it. They have nice boobs, she has nice feet. And I bet a lot more guys jerk off looking at Adriana Lima’s tits than Michelle Ryan’s feet.
So can someone please give me one good reason why the Ryans should be embarrassed or ashamed of this?
That even sounds like Rex's voice, and I'm sure it is.
The question is: why is this such a big deal? Why is this personally embarrassing? Note: I'm only talking about the videos, not the contest of the profiles allegedly appearing on certain websites. His wife is not doing any wrong, morally or legally. If she wants to show off her feet to foot fetishists on the internet (like TallSkott) that’s her business. Deviance is in the eye of the beholder. She has lovely feet and if someone derives sexual pleasure from looking at them that’s their problem and not hers. Or Rex Ryan’s. I understand why it’s a news story, people are interested, even I’m interested. I just don’t see how any part of this is can be construed as negative or personally embarrassing.
Here’s the best analogy I can make: I’m sure plenty of athletes are married to Victoria’s Secret models. They walk around in their underwear and put the video on TV, the internet you name it. They have nice boobs, she has nice feet. And I bet a lot more guys jerk off looking at Adriana Lima’s tits than Michelle Ryan’s feet.
So can someone please give me one good reason why the Ryans should be embarrassed or ashamed of this?
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
The NFL is Poop - Week 15
It Would Have Been Enough
The Giants lost what I call a “dayenu” game. Had they tackled Brent Celek, that would have been enough. Had they not tackled Brent Celek but they recovered the onside kick, that would have been enough. You see where I am going with this. There were about 10 things the Giants could have done in the game to hold on for the victory. If they hadn’t done 9 of them, but did 1, it would have been enough – at least to force overtime. Instead the Giants go down to an embarrassing, crushing defeat. Now their division hopes are likely gone, and their chances at a playoff berth likely depend on them beating the Packers this week.
The Frozen Tundra Does in Brett Favre
Brett Favre has turned into Rasputin, you can’t kill the guy. Just when we thought he was finished (with his starts streak over why would be bother coming back for a losing team?) he pulled one over on all of us and started Monday night’s game against the Bears. He even threw a touchdown pass. But when his head got slammed to the frozen turf he got concussed. A sad image for one of the game’s greats. His last time on a football field and he’s laying face down.
Now It’s Confirmed
We always thought Devin Hester was the best kick returner to ever play in the NFL, now we know for sure. His 14th career kick return (combined kickoffs and punts) is a new NFL record. And amazingly he almost did it earlier that same quarter when he returned the opening kickoff of the second half 79 yards to the 6, just moments after Mike Tirico suggested he could break the record. Some were worried that his escalation to full-time wide receiver would sacrifice his time and effort as a kick returner. In his first two NFL seasons, Hester had 20 pass receptions (2 TDs), and 11 kick return touchdowns. In the next two seasons he had 108 receptions (6 TDs) and zero return TDs. This year his pass-catching numbers are down slightly, to 30 (3 TDs) but he has 3 punt returns for touchdowns.
Hopefully We’ll Never See Donovan McNabb in a Redskins Uniform Again
Let me start by saying I am not thrilled with the prospect of turning over the future of the Washington Redskins to Rex Grossman. But I consider it a win if Donovan McNabb is never under center again. The McNabb experiment was a nice try, but it failed. I have no idea why they extended him. It seems pretty clear the decision-makers on the contract and on the starting QB at game time, are different people, with vastly different goals, purposes and opinions on McNabb’s play. Mike Shanahan obviously sees what the rest of us see – McNabb is bad and getting worse. Grossman threw 4 TDs, almost leading a very stirring comeback against the Cowboys. It seems like he will get the chance to play in the last two games, as will 3rd stringer John Beck, who will be promoted to backup in another slap in McNabb’s face. I don’t think the long-term solution is on the team right now. It seems the Redskins will have to hit rock bottom, draft a QB high in the first round and build around him. Until then a parade of big names and big contracts (at all positions, not just QB) will continue to lead to this once proud franchise’s continued demise.
Not a Bad Debut
I have often used this space to conjecture that Tim Tebow will not be a good NFL quarterback, not even a serviceable one. In fact, he’ll be so bad he won’t even be a consistent NFL starter at any point in his career. In our poll after the draft, half of you suggested he’ll be a starter at QB for 4 NFL seasons. He’s got one so far, and even though he can’t throw (8 for 16 for 138 yards) he can run (8 for 78, including a 40-yard touchdown). If he follows the Michael Vick model (without the personal growth stemming from a prison term) he might have something, though I don’t think he is that fast, or has that strong of a throwing arm. I think he’ll probably start the final two games of the season then get relegated to the bench again when the Broncos bring in a new coach.
If the NFC Championship Game Were Played Today
The Eagles would go into Atlanta with Michael Vick at quarterback. That would be a great storyline and the way these two teams are playing right now I give it at least a 50/50 shot at happening.
The Giants lost what I call a “dayenu” game. Had they tackled Brent Celek, that would have been enough. Had they not tackled Brent Celek but they recovered the onside kick, that would have been enough. You see where I am going with this. There were about 10 things the Giants could have done in the game to hold on for the victory. If they hadn’t done 9 of them, but did 1, it would have been enough – at least to force overtime. Instead the Giants go down to an embarrassing, crushing defeat. Now their division hopes are likely gone, and their chances at a playoff berth likely depend on them beating the Packers this week.
The Frozen Tundra Does in Brett Favre
Brett Favre has turned into Rasputin, you can’t kill the guy. Just when we thought he was finished (with his starts streak over why would be bother coming back for a losing team?) he pulled one over on all of us and started Monday night’s game against the Bears. He even threw a touchdown pass. But when his head got slammed to the frozen turf he got concussed. A sad image for one of the game’s greats. His last time on a football field and he’s laying face down.
Now It’s Confirmed
We always thought Devin Hester was the best kick returner to ever play in the NFL, now we know for sure. His 14th career kick return (combined kickoffs and punts) is a new NFL record. And amazingly he almost did it earlier that same quarter when he returned the opening kickoff of the second half 79 yards to the 6, just moments after Mike Tirico suggested he could break the record. Some were worried that his escalation to full-time wide receiver would sacrifice his time and effort as a kick returner. In his first two NFL seasons, Hester had 20 pass receptions (2 TDs), and 11 kick return touchdowns. In the next two seasons he had 108 receptions (6 TDs) and zero return TDs. This year his pass-catching numbers are down slightly, to 30 (3 TDs) but he has 3 punt returns for touchdowns.
Hopefully We’ll Never See Donovan McNabb in a Redskins Uniform Again
Let me start by saying I am not thrilled with the prospect of turning over the future of the Washington Redskins to Rex Grossman. But I consider it a win if Donovan McNabb is never under center again. The McNabb experiment was a nice try, but it failed. I have no idea why they extended him. It seems pretty clear the decision-makers on the contract and on the starting QB at game time, are different people, with vastly different goals, purposes and opinions on McNabb’s play. Mike Shanahan obviously sees what the rest of us see – McNabb is bad and getting worse. Grossman threw 4 TDs, almost leading a very stirring comeback against the Cowboys. It seems like he will get the chance to play in the last two games, as will 3rd stringer John Beck, who will be promoted to backup in another slap in McNabb’s face. I don’t think the long-term solution is on the team right now. It seems the Redskins will have to hit rock bottom, draft a QB high in the first round and build around him. Until then a parade of big names and big contracts (at all positions, not just QB) will continue to lead to this once proud franchise’s continued demise.
Not a Bad Debut
I have often used this space to conjecture that Tim Tebow will not be a good NFL quarterback, not even a serviceable one. In fact, he’ll be so bad he won’t even be a consistent NFL starter at any point in his career. In our poll after the draft, half of you suggested he’ll be a starter at QB for 4 NFL seasons. He’s got one so far, and even though he can’t throw (8 for 16 for 138 yards) he can run (8 for 78, including a 40-yard touchdown). If he follows the Michael Vick model (without the personal growth stemming from a prison term) he might have something, though I don’t think he is that fast, or has that strong of a throwing arm. I think he’ll probably start the final two games of the season then get relegated to the bench again when the Broncos bring in a new coach.
If the NFC Championship Game Were Played Today
The Eagles would go into Atlanta with Michael Vick at quarterback. That would be a great storyline and the way these two teams are playing right now I give it at least a 50/50 shot at happening.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Ken Jennings Versus the Machine
Two of Jeopardy's most successful champions -- Ken Jennings and Brad Rutter -- will play two games against "Watson," a computer program developed by IBM's artificial intelligence team. The matches will be spread over three days that will air Feb. 14-16.
The "Jeopardy!" answer-and-question format will be a challenge. It often requires contestants to deal with subtleties, puns and riddles and come up with answers fast.
"Watson" is named for IBM founder Thomas J. Watson. It will look nothing like the computer "maid" on "The Jetsons." Rather, IBM said its on-screen appearance will be represented by a round avatar.
The computer has already been tested in some 50 games against past "Jeopardy!" champions. But neither IBM nor "Jeopardy!" representatives would say what "Watson's" record was.
The winner gets a $1 million prize. IBM said it would donate its winnings to charity, while Jennings and Rutter said they would give half of their prize money away.
The "Jeopardy!" answer-and-question format will be a challenge. It often requires contestants to deal with subtleties, puns and riddles and come up with answers fast.
"Watson" is named for IBM founder Thomas J. Watson. It will look nothing like the computer "maid" on "The Jetsons." Rather, IBM said its on-screen appearance will be represented by a round avatar.
The computer has already been tested in some 50 games against past "Jeopardy!" champions. But neither IBM nor "Jeopardy!" representatives would say what "Watson's" record was.
The winner gets a $1 million prize. IBM said it would donate its winnings to charity, while Jennings and Rutter said they would give half of their prize money away.
Monday, December 20, 2010
What Do You Give Me For? JLeary and the Guy at the Knicks Game
Juice and Focks noticed a guy who looks a lot like JLeary on TV at the Knicks-Heat game Friday night, seated right in front of Robert Randolph.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Weekly Picks
Another big week, I am back to climbing after a tough stretch in the middle of the season. And I already have one in my pocket this week.
SAN DIEGO -9 san francisco
I'm telling you, the Chargers are making the playoffs. They do this every year. Matt Cassel's injury is a big help, but they are making the playoffs. Plus San Francisco scored 40 last week, they'll be lucky to get 14 against the Chargers.
cleveland +1 CINCINNATI
Colt McCoy is starting the Bengals have given up.
PITTSBURGH -5 new york jets
The Jets could be done. Things went very bad very quickly in two weeks and the Steelers are the wrong opponent for a quarterback who has no confidence.
OAKLAND -7 1/2 denver
I'm doing this out of spite because I really don't think Tim Tebow is an NFL quarterback, not now, not ever.
BEST BET
NEW ENGLAND -9 green bay
This line shot higher to 14 when it was announced Matt Flynn was going to play but 9 is the spread we're going with. I think it will be 30 with Flynn, and would have been 20 with Rodgers. The Patriots are just too hot right now. It might be worth it to just pick them every week and see if they let up.
Last week: 3-2 (4 points)
Season: 38-32 (42 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (9-5)
Home Favorites: 1-1 (13-10)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (1-0)
Road Favorites: 2-0 (14-14)
Road Underdogs: 0-1 (10-8)
SAN DIEGO -9 san francisco
I'm telling you, the Chargers are making the playoffs. They do this every year. Matt Cassel's injury is a big help, but they are making the playoffs. Plus San Francisco scored 40 last week, they'll be lucky to get 14 against the Chargers.
cleveland +1 CINCINNATI
Colt McCoy is starting the Bengals have given up.
PITTSBURGH -5 new york jets
The Jets could be done. Things went very bad very quickly in two weeks and the Steelers are the wrong opponent for a quarterback who has no confidence.
OAKLAND -7 1/2 denver
I'm doing this out of spite because I really don't think Tim Tebow is an NFL quarterback, not now, not ever.
BEST BET
NEW ENGLAND -9 green bay
This line shot higher to 14 when it was announced Matt Flynn was going to play but 9 is the spread we're going with. I think it will be 30 with Flynn, and would have been 20 with Rodgers. The Patriots are just too hot right now. It might be worth it to just pick them every week and see if they let up.
Last week: 3-2 (4 points)
Season: 38-32 (42 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (9-5)
Home Favorites: 1-1 (13-10)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (1-0)
Road Favorites: 2-0 (14-14)
Road Underdogs: 0-1 (10-8)
Friday, December 17, 2010
Dr. Oz Has a Nurse Fetish
I can't say I blame Dr. Oz but his fantasy about sexy nurses has landed him in hot water.
A group called The Truth About Nursing says a recent segment about weight loss featured six women wearing high heels, retro nurses' caps and white dresses with red lingerie peeking out, shows a lack of respect for female nurses.
I'm not sure how Mrs. Poop feels about this. She probably doesn't mind and she'd much rather have the Truth About Nursing focus its letter-writing campaign against Pink for her hurtful lyrics.
A group called The Truth About Nursing says a recent segment about weight loss featured six women wearing high heels, retro nurses' caps and white dresses with red lingerie peeking out, shows a lack of respect for female nurses.
I'm not sure how Mrs. Poop feels about this. She probably doesn't mind and she'd much rather have the Truth About Nursing focus its letter-writing campaign against Pink for her hurtful lyrics.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Song of the Week
"Chick on Da Side" - Koffee Brown
There is almost nothing I love more, musically, than a good male/female duet. It's the reason I love Marvin & Tammi so much. Fonz and Vee have great harmony and great timing in the dueling parts of this song. Their entire album is awesome, but it didn't sell well enough for them to make another one. This is another song I have been looking for on youtube, like "Waist Down", but was able to find only recently.
There is almost nothing I love more, musically, than a good male/female duet. It's the reason I love Marvin & Tammi so much. Fonz and Vee have great harmony and great timing in the dueling parts of this song. Their entire album is awesome, but it didn't sell well enough for them to make another one. This is another song I have been looking for on youtube, like "Waist Down", but was able to find only recently.
First One to Answer Wins Nothing
I was in Target paying for my popcorn and as the clerk dropped the 93 cents into my hand she said "you have very soft hands?"
What was my response?
What was my response?
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
The NFL is Poop - Week 14
I Love a Good Snow Game
And so does Tom Brady. He absolutely eviscerated the Bears’ third ranked defense. Eschewing conventional wisdom against throwing in the snow, Brady threw 40 passes, completing 27 of them for 369 yards and 2 touchdowns in a 36-7 victory. Last year Brady had the best game of his career in the snow, 29 for 34 for 380 yards and 6 touchdowns in a 59-0 victory over the Titans. And of course Tom Brady’s legend started in the snow, with the Tuck Game against the Raiders (32 for 52, 312 yards). For the Patriots, it’s beginning to look a lot like 2007. Since the embarrassing loss to the Cleveland Browns the Pats have won 5 in a row scoring at least 31 each time. And beating good teams over that span, Pittsburgh, the Jets, Indianapolis and Chicago. I wouldn’t want to play them in New England in the playoffs.
As for the Bears. This is the beginning of the end for them. Even if they beat Minnesota on Monday they will lose their last two games against the Jets and Green Bay, costing them the division (even though they got a huge break when Green Bay lost to Detroit). The wild cards will go the Giants and Saints and the Bears will be home for the playoffs.
Sure, It was For His Nephew, Right
After the Eagles defeated his Cowboys 30-27, Cowboys running back Tashard Choice asked Eagles quarterback Michael Vick for his autograph. I know some people had a problem with this, maybe it’s undignified for one player to ask another for an autograph, maybe Choice should have been more somber after a loss (like Derek Anderson). I say give the guy a break, his nephew wanted Vick’s autograph.
Can’t Even Kick an Extra Point
Another embarrassing loss for the Redskins. Ryan Torain had 172 yards rushing but only 14 in the second half on only 6 carries, thanks to idiotic coaching. Thanks to crappy quarterbacking the Redskins started the second half with 3 straight 3 and outs. Thanks to crappy kicking, two missed field goals by Graham Gano, the Redskins need to kick a late extra point just to tie the game. Thanks to lousy long-snapping/holding, the Redskins blew the snap and cost themselves the game.
Not a Good Day for QBs
Here are some of the worst performance by quarterbacks on Sunday (listed in ascending order of rating):
Kyle Orton 27.1
Jay Cutler 32.9
Drew Stanton 39.4
Mark Sanchez 45.3
Carson Palmer 48.7
Brodie Croyle 48.9
Jake Delhomme 49.2
John Skelton 52.3
Amazingly, Drew Stanton and John Skelton were winning QBs. But as the temperature drops, so do the QB ratings.
Have a Nice Trip, See You Next Fall
How did the Jets not fire strength and conditioning coach Sal Alosi? He deliberately stuck his knee out to interfere with Nolan Carroll on punt coverage. I like the fact that he came forward and admitted it right away without pretending it was an accident, but still for something this egregious, for such an inconsequential coach, I think the Jets should have given him the axe.
And so does Tom Brady. He absolutely eviscerated the Bears’ third ranked defense. Eschewing conventional wisdom against throwing in the snow, Brady threw 40 passes, completing 27 of them for 369 yards and 2 touchdowns in a 36-7 victory. Last year Brady had the best game of his career in the snow, 29 for 34 for 380 yards and 6 touchdowns in a 59-0 victory over the Titans. And of course Tom Brady’s legend started in the snow, with the Tuck Game against the Raiders (32 for 52, 312 yards). For the Patriots, it’s beginning to look a lot like 2007. Since the embarrassing loss to the Cleveland Browns the Pats have won 5 in a row scoring at least 31 each time. And beating good teams over that span, Pittsburgh, the Jets, Indianapolis and Chicago. I wouldn’t want to play them in New England in the playoffs.
As for the Bears. This is the beginning of the end for them. Even if they beat Minnesota on Monday they will lose their last two games against the Jets and Green Bay, costing them the division (even though they got a huge break when Green Bay lost to Detroit). The wild cards will go the Giants and Saints and the Bears will be home for the playoffs.
Sure, It was For His Nephew, Right
After the Eagles defeated his Cowboys 30-27, Cowboys running back Tashard Choice asked Eagles quarterback Michael Vick for his autograph. I know some people had a problem with this, maybe it’s undignified for one player to ask another for an autograph, maybe Choice should have been more somber after a loss (like Derek Anderson). I say give the guy a break, his nephew wanted Vick’s autograph.
Can’t Even Kick an Extra Point
Another embarrassing loss for the Redskins. Ryan Torain had 172 yards rushing but only 14 in the second half on only 6 carries, thanks to idiotic coaching. Thanks to crappy quarterbacking the Redskins started the second half with 3 straight 3 and outs. Thanks to crappy kicking, two missed field goals by Graham Gano, the Redskins need to kick a late extra point just to tie the game. Thanks to lousy long-snapping/holding, the Redskins blew the snap and cost themselves the game.
Not a Good Day for QBs
Here are some of the worst performance by quarterbacks on Sunday (listed in ascending order of rating):
Kyle Orton 27.1
Jay Cutler 32.9
Drew Stanton 39.4
Mark Sanchez 45.3
Carson Palmer 48.7
Brodie Croyle 48.9
Jake Delhomme 49.2
John Skelton 52.3
Amazingly, Drew Stanton and John Skelton were winning QBs. But as the temperature drops, so do the QB ratings.
Have a Nice Trip, See You Next Fall
How did the Jets not fire strength and conditioning coach Sal Alosi? He deliberately stuck his knee out to interfere with Nolan Carroll on punt coverage. I like the fact that he came forward and admitted it right away without pretending it was an accident, but still for something this egregious, for such an inconsequential coach, I think the Jets should have given him the axe.
Cliff Lee Forfeits Millions So His Wife Won't Get Spit On
Free agent pitcher Cliff Lee shocks the world by turning down a 6-year, $132 million contract with the Yankees (with a possible 7th year at $16m) for a 5-year, $108 million (with a likely 6th year at $25m UPDATED) with the Phillies, all because Yankees fans are disgusting pigs.
Kristen Lee was harassed by Yankees fans during the ALCS.
She says they were spitting and throwing beer in her direction and shouting obscenities.
"The fans did not do good things in my heart," she said. "When people are staring at you, and saying horrible things, it's hard not to take it personal."
At the time Lee downplayed the incident because he wanted to keep the Yankees involved in the bidding.
But it’s obvious he didn’t want his family subjected to that behavior for 6 years, especially after these comments were publicized, putting a target on her back.
I mean if you would rather be surrounded by Phillies fans, you must have a pretty low opinion of those people you are likely to run into at a Yankees game.
As for the baseball side of this deal, it obviously gives the Phillies an historically great starting rotation – on paper.
But that is why grass was invented, so we wouldn’t have to play games on paper.
First of all, in baseball we know nothing is for certain, there are injuries and disappointing performances. And even if the Phillies do dominate the regular season, the playoffs can be a crapshoot, they could lose in the first round.
I think this acquisition gives the Phillies a 10 (Halladay), a 9 (Lee), an 8 (Oswalt) and a 7 (Hamels). If one guy gets hurt and one guy has a disappointing year, then their staff really isn’t that much better than it was last year.
And before we start crowning Lee (if you wanna crown him, then crown his ass), we should note that out of 7 full seasons he only has one ERA below 3.00. So in that bandbox it’s not impossible to imagine him checking in with a 3.50 next season.
In summary:
1) As much as I hate the Yankees, I’d rather Lee signed with him, because they don’t directly compete with the Mets.
2) The Mets weren’t going to be able to challenge the Phillies this year anyway. Maybe in a couple years when they rebuild the Halladay and Lee will be in decline and the Phillies will be stuck with two aging pitchers earning $20 million per year.
3) Let’s not start sucking Cliff Lee’s dick just yet.
Kristen Lee was harassed by Yankees fans during the ALCS.
She says they were spitting and throwing beer in her direction and shouting obscenities.
"The fans did not do good things in my heart," she said. "When people are staring at you, and saying horrible things, it's hard not to take it personal."
At the time Lee downplayed the incident because he wanted to keep the Yankees involved in the bidding.
But it’s obvious he didn’t want his family subjected to that behavior for 6 years, especially after these comments were publicized, putting a target on her back.
I mean if you would rather be surrounded by Phillies fans, you must have a pretty low opinion of those people you are likely to run into at a Yankees game.
As for the baseball side of this deal, it obviously gives the Phillies an historically great starting rotation – on paper.
But that is why grass was invented, so we wouldn’t have to play games on paper.
First of all, in baseball we know nothing is for certain, there are injuries and disappointing performances. And even if the Phillies do dominate the regular season, the playoffs can be a crapshoot, they could lose in the first round.
I think this acquisition gives the Phillies a 10 (Halladay), a 9 (Lee), an 8 (Oswalt) and a 7 (Hamels). If one guy gets hurt and one guy has a disappointing year, then their staff really isn’t that much better than it was last year.
And before we start crowning Lee (if you wanna crown him, then crown his ass), we should note that out of 7 full seasons he only has one ERA below 3.00. So in that bandbox it’s not impossible to imagine him checking in with a 3.50 next season.
In summary:
1) As much as I hate the Yankees, I’d rather Lee signed with him, because they don’t directly compete with the Mets.
2) The Mets weren’t going to be able to challenge the Phillies this year anyway. Maybe in a couple years when they rebuild the Halladay and Lee will be in decline and the Phillies will be stuck with two aging pitchers earning $20 million per year.
3) Let’s not start sucking Cliff Lee’s dick just yet.
What Happens If You Get Punched in the Eye 50 Times
I have written several times about my dislike for the fighting style of Georges St. Pierre. It’s incredibly effective, but he never finishes fights.
I also hate Josh Koscheck, who is usually an exciting fighter, but is such a dick (and one of the worst The Ultimate Fighter Coaches not named Rampage ever) that he’s impossible to root for unless you’re JHughes (he loves dicks).
So it was good on two counts Saturday night that GSP finally fought an exciting fight (though he still didn’t finish) and Koscheck got his ass kicked.
GSP knew he wouldn’t have the distinct wrestling advantage he enjoys against other fighters, so he trained on his boxing. He boxed like a champ, breaking Koscheck’s orbital bone in the first round and pounding on it the rest of the fight.
Take a look at the picture below of Koscheck's severely fucked up eye.
The overall card was weak (so is the one for UFC 125) but at least the main event was fun to watch.
I also hate Josh Koscheck, who is usually an exciting fighter, but is such a dick (and one of the worst The Ultimate Fighter Coaches not named Rampage ever) that he’s impossible to root for unless you’re JHughes (he loves dicks).
So it was good on two counts Saturday night that GSP finally fought an exciting fight (though he still didn’t finish) and Koscheck got his ass kicked.
GSP knew he wouldn’t have the distinct wrestling advantage he enjoys against other fighters, so he trained on his boxing. He boxed like a champ, breaking Koscheck’s orbital bone in the first round and pounding on it the rest of the fight.
Take a look at the picture below of Koscheck's severely fucked up eye.
The overall card was weak (so is the one for UFC 125) but at least the main event was fun to watch.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Bowl Mania Time
ESPN has its Bowl Mania game up for this year. It's simple. Pick every bowl game and rank them by confidence. This year you even get to pick against Syracuse. Group name is The Poop.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Weekly Picks
BOOM! Finally got that perfect 6 I've been looking for all season. I don't hear much from the haters this season. Every week last year when I was struggling some jerk popped off in the comments section. Nails literally cost himself thousands of dollars last year going against my advice out of spite. Now I've turned it around and all I hear are crickets. Anyway, the strange thing is, I didn't feel confident going into last week, and basically chose my best bet at random, didn't matter. I feel good about a lot of games this week, so we'll see how that works out.
NEW YORK JETS -5 1/2 miami
They'll bounce back.
new york giants -3 MINNESOTA
Whichever quarterback starts for the Vikings is going to have a tough time. The Giants are so good at rushing the passer, running the ball, and throwing it, the only way they lose is when they turn it over. Apparently the G-Men had some travel complications so they aren't getting into Minnesota until Sunday morning, but that shouldn't effect them.
new england -3 CHICAGO
The Patriots are the best team in the league. The Bears are the worst 9-3 team in history. They will lose 3 of 4 and miss the playoffs.
cleveland +1 BUFFALO
Peyton Hillis becomes the first white running back to rush for 1000 yards in about 25 years. And they beat the Bills 13-10.
BEST BET
SAN DIEGO -9 kansas city
This spread has gone way up. I guess that's because Brodie Croyle is playing, and people would much rather look at Brodie Croyle's wife instead. Earlier this season I said betting against a team just because the backup quarterback is playing is often a bad idea. Not in this case. The Chargers are very good and they love to put their own backs against the wall. They will key on the run and force Croyle to beat them. He will throw 3 interceptions, then go home and fuck his hot wife.
Last week: 5-0 (6 points)
Season: 35-30 (38 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (8-5)
Home Favorites: 3-0 (12-9)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (1-0)
Road Favorites: 1-0 (12-14)
Road Underdogs: 1-0 (10-7)
NEW YORK JETS -5 1/2 miami
They'll bounce back.
new york giants -3 MINNESOTA
Whichever quarterback starts for the Vikings is going to have a tough time. The Giants are so good at rushing the passer, running the ball, and throwing it, the only way they lose is when they turn it over. Apparently the G-Men had some travel complications so they aren't getting into Minnesota until Sunday morning, but that shouldn't effect them.
new england -3 CHICAGO
The Patriots are the best team in the league. The Bears are the worst 9-3 team in history. They will lose 3 of 4 and miss the playoffs.
cleveland +1 BUFFALO
Peyton Hillis becomes the first white running back to rush for 1000 yards in about 25 years. And they beat the Bills 13-10.
BEST BET
SAN DIEGO -9 kansas city
This spread has gone way up. I guess that's because Brodie Croyle is playing, and people would much rather look at Brodie Croyle's wife instead. Earlier this season I said betting against a team just because the backup quarterback is playing is often a bad idea. Not in this case. The Chargers are very good and they love to put their own backs against the wall. They will key on the run and force Croyle to beat them. He will throw 3 interceptions, then go home and fuck his hot wife.
Last week: 5-0 (6 points)
Season: 35-30 (38 points)
Best Bets: 1-0 (8-5)
Home Favorites: 3-0 (12-9)
Home Underdogs: 0-0 (1-0)
Road Favorites: 1-0 (12-14)
Road Underdogs: 1-0 (10-7)
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